Dating Apps Are a Drag! Tired of Swiping, New Yorkers Looking For Love IRL

“Swipe fatigue” has become a very real thing among users on dating apps from being confronted with numerous profiles leading to dry conversations or even worse dates that leads to burnout, cynicism and disillusionment.

“Dating apps stopped being fun and felt more like a chore,” said Emma Rodriguez, a 28-year-old graphic designer who lives in Brooklyn. “You swipe while you’re doing everything, waiting for the subway, watching TV, lying in bed. I was doing it out of habit.” Rodriguez is just one of the many people living in New York City experiencing the frustration and pain of online dating. Fed up with endless dates that feel like interviews that go nowhere, New Yorkers are seeking out love and connection in a more meaningful way not behind their screens but in person.

Rodriguez noted that, “You can’t feel chemistry or someone’s energy through the apps.” While a big selling point of these apps is offering convenience with a large number of individuals to date, hopeful matches are being curated through an algorithm, but there is so much more that goes into connection than age, height, job, religion, education, etc. “Selfies and stupid prompt responses are so much different than actual presence,” she added.

“It was weird and awkward at first, but after a while I relaxed and it started to feel natural,” Rodriguez said. “I struck up a conversation with one of the guys there and we had an easy, flowing conversation. It was so refreshing and we decided to swap numbers and plan a date!”

Eventbrite, an online ticketing platform, offers endless singles and matchmaking events hosted by different parties. In Eventbrite’s 2024 Summer Dating Report titled, Niche to Meet You, the company reported that 376,000 people attended dating and singles events and there were over 1.5 million total site searches for dating and singles events. The report added that attendance at these dating and single events increased 42% between 2022 and 2023, followed by a 49% increase in 2024, with even more projected growth for 2025.

Even Tinder, the first and most popular dating app, saw its monthly active user base fall from 18 million in 2022 to 11 million in 2025.

Jake Mendelson, 27, works in finance and has been feeling the burnout and frustration of being on Hinge for over a year now. “Every date has just been boring. It’s the same interview questions and there is just no spark.”

Mendelson pointed out that “As a man dating in New York, there can be a lot of pressure. Dating is not what it used to be, it’s intimidating to go up to someone in person and strike up a conversation.”

While Mendelson is daunted by the idea of in person dating he also wants to find love in a simpler, more traditional way. “I’ve been looking into single events with the hope that this new approach will spark something fresh,” he said.

With a decline in people swiping on apps and a rise in a search for connection offline, couples who met off the apps are all around living proof that true connection is found in the real world.

“People just talked to each other,” Sharon Lee, 58, said, pointing out a simple difference between dating today and back when she met her husband in 1990. Her husband Michael, 62, added, “If you liked someone, you got their number, you focused on one person and not endless options.”

The Lees met working at a community volunteer event in Chinatown when Michael spilled coffee on his shirt and Sharon offered him a napkin, what’s called today a “meet cute,” leading to their first conversation. From their first moment together they just knew that was it.

Dating, finding love and connection requires thoughtfulness and attention. “Back when we were dating, you took things slow, you spent time together,” Michael stated. With so many options at your fingertips the task can feel like an overload of information.

In today’s fast paced world, users seek instant gratification and convenience and the apps were designed to cater to this desire, but it’s ultimately leaving users unfulfilled, unsatisfied and frustrated with the dating experience.

Isabella Louis, a host for PlentyofParties, one of the companies that offers singles events, in New York City has seen a major increase in demand for in person dating. She noted, “There are certain events where we are at capacity and people show up at the door and they’re hoping somebody will drop out so they can step in.”

While PlentyofParties hasn’t collected any data on the success of their singles events, Louis mentioned how the company has increased the number of events hosted just over the last year.

It can be hard to measure the success of an event without data or surveying but Louis offered her own personal experience from events she has hosted. “I’ve witnessed three different times, two people meet at the event, they hit it off so well that they end the event right there and they just leave,” she said.