How to Have Fewer Days That Suck: A Self-Help Game Plan

Consider this your burn(out) notice.

Burnout can, unfortunately, be a byproduct of living in NYC. If you’re all too familiar with emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged, often work-related stress, relief has arrived in the form of a new award-winning title, “6 Steps To Fewer Days That Suck” by Deborah Mallow. It has the subtitle: “Ditch Unhealthy Habits Unzip a Healthier You.”

“It started as my own guidebook and evolved into a mission to teach how to create a positive mindset, build confidence, and live a happier, more productive, purpose-driven life,” says the author, who describes herself as a positive energy expert and mindset success strategist. She the creator of The Daily Decisions,™ a self-improvement toolkit to reinforce positive habits.

In her how-to, Mallow shares practical easy-to-implement strategies designed to inspire change; a change she herself has undergone

For the born-and-bred New Yorker, it all began on a Manhattan subway platform. Mallow was burnt out and negative, even though she had a successful career as a #1-ranked sales rep at an iconic brand. “I had lost my joy,” admits the motivational speaker, coach, and podcaster. “A pivotal moment changed everything and led to a more joy-filled life. “I uncovered the root of the problem and, with that, transformed my life.”

With spring approaching and mental health awareness month coming up in May, Straus Media sat down with Mallow to discuss her transformation, the science of combating burnout, and the little things we can all do to have fewer days that suck.

What happened on the subway platform that became your turning point?

I can remember to this day how I felt, and I really want to help other people not feel that way.

I always pushed myself so hard. I was late and stressing myself out. Tears started to come down my cheeks. I said to myself, “If I don’t change something, nothing is ever going to change.” I started researching the science behind why we do what we do, and also little things you can do to make yourself feel better. I was writing a guidebook for myself.

Where did the science-backed research come from, and what is it?

I did it myself. When you understand why you’re doing something, it’s easier to follow a new direction.

The science behind why we do what we do and how we can actually feel better has to do with happy hormones: endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. I always try to do things that are going to make me feel better. I am grateful, focus on positive things, or do something with the community. I allow myself grace. I do little things, not massive overhauls, because with little things, you’re able to actually make [the new habits] stick because the brain craves patterns.

Flip the script, you create a more positive pattern.

When we trigger feel-good emotions, that gives us that reward, that dopamine spike. Serotonin regulates mood. That’s why it’s beneficial to go out in sunlight. Give yourself a hug, even just 20 seconds, and it boosts oxytocin. When we look more on the positive side, it actually boosts those happy hormones and distracts from the negative loop.

How is your book different than other transformational guidebooks?

It’s a little more instant gratification-oriented.

It’s a double-page format; short little reads, almost sound bites, which is good because then you can process the information, as if you were scrolling through social media.

I call it a pep talk for the soul and a warm hug for the heart. It meets you where you are, and it just helps you move forward as it did for me.

Burnout is different for different people: a sales rep, a mom, a student. How is the message of your book universal?

We’re all human. We all have these emotions. We tend to push ourselves to the Nth degree, worry about people judging us, keeping our jobs, being good parents. But we don’t give ourselves grace or take care of ourselves. We think it’s selfish, but it’s not. How can you be at your best for other people if you’re so miserable inside? That’s how burnout affects all of us.

You’ve reached a lot of people through TV, radio, podcasts, coaching, workshops, and now this book. What’s the one thing audiences consistently tell you?

Everybody says, “I feel better after reading [your book]. It lifted my spirits.” Honestly, that’s what I hear more than anything, and it’s not that the strategies are new or groundbreaking. It’s what you already know. The problem is we don’t take the time to pause, reflect, and put them into practice. This book is helping people see little things they can do to make changes.

You can have fewer days that suck if you just do these nice things for yourself.

What would you say to someone having a “subway platform moment” right now?

I’m not a therapist, but I know what it feels like to feel stuck. You don’t know which way to turn to change, so you keep doing the same thing. We stay in a comfort zone, which really is not comfortable. Just push yourself out there, grow. Accomplish, do these little things to make yourself feel better, and that gives you momentum.

Once you make the decision to do it, you start to move forward.

“6 Steps To Fewer Days That Suck” author Deborah Mallow will be at Barnes & Noble 87^th & 3^rd Avenue on April 16^th at 6 PM. For more info about the author’s work, visit thedailydecisions.com.

Lorraine Duffy Merkl is the author of the novel, “The Last Single Woman in New York City.”