Who Needs Coney Island?

Late last week, while the eternally kvetching "9/11 Families" took up arms yet again to stop yet another memorial plan, Gov. Pataki announced that $3.5 million will be spent on creating two interim memorials near the World Trade Center site. The idea is to provide tourists with something other than souvenir vendors to look at when they go downtown to see the big hole, as well as to act as placeholders until the real memorial is completed 2009, eight years after the fact, and two years after anyone will remember what it is supposed to be memorializing, exactly.

One part of the plan involves the StoryCorps oral history project, which will allow people to record their own memories of the attacks. The other part, called the Tribute Center, is to be built inside a vacant storefront and will offer a gallery, an information center, educational programs and a gift shop. Volunteers will also be on hand to provide guided tours of Ground Zero.

The oral history project will open in the PATH station this July, and the museum is scheduled to open next March.

Shortly after that, work will begin on the water slide, the go-kart track, skating rink and carousel-as well as a 9/11-themed restaurant and a wide array of officially sanctioned souvenir shops. That way, when tourists buy their 9/11 baseball caps, snow globes and novelty sun-glasses, they'll know they're getting the Real Deal.