What is the female preoccupation with the band of gold What ...
What is the female preoccupation with the band of gold? My girlfriend and I split, partly because I don't want kids, but a lot because I wouldn't "commit." It's in quotation marks because we were together three and a half years. I showed no sign, once we settled into it, of leaving her, and didn't want to. So what's "commitment?"
Is it just a ratchet, that commitment is always the next thing she wants from you, culminating in two corridors: the one in the middle of the church, the other outside the maternity wards? What happens then? Where can you go from there?get yourself surgically attached to her?
Does it tie in with daddy issues? Her folks split up when she was young, so is she just looking for the reassurance daddy never gave her? I'm guessing it must be, because two months later, she's engaged to a tobacco-chewing diver from Connecticut, much like I expected. (Apart from the tobacco-chewing diver bit. I just expected a panic marriage.) Why is a circle of metal and a big white dress more important than who it comes with?
?Frank Murphy
Daddy issues have nothing to do with a woman wanting to get married. Here's the deal?we dames want a man who'll step up to the plate. (Emphasis on man.) After a decade or two of dating boys, we ladies get to a point where we're sick and tired of coddling emotional basketcases who are always certain there's someone "better" lurking around the corner, and behave accordingly. We get tired of the inevitable post-coital freakout/apres-blowjob disclaimer speech:
Him: "I hope this isn't a problem for you, but I'm really too deep and tortured to have a girlfriend right now."
Her: "I totally understand. Thanks for sharing that with me after I've swallowed your semen. I'm now going to rip your scrotum off with my teeth?I hope that's not a problem for you."
And sure, you stuck around for 3.5 years, so that's not really you I'm describing (at least once you "settled into it"?which took how long?), but to a lesser degree it is.
Oh, and you toss off her yen to procreate as something that's beside the point?it's not. You can decide you want a kid when you're 70?we broads are working against a clock on that one. You'd been together almost four years and still didn't want to join her in baby-making?how long was she supposed to wait?
I don't think it was simply the ugly-dress-and-ring combo your girlie wanted. I'll bet she simply wanted you to stand up in front of all your friends, family and readers of the Sunday Times Style Section and tell them all that you loved her so much you wanted to make a life with her. To do that takes both bravery and balls. Lucky her; she found someone with both.
My girlfriend, who I am in love with, just confessed that she had sex with another man. I was, of course, completely crushed (still am). She felt like trash and had the hardest time telling me about it, crying and laughing the whole time in my arms. She said the intercourse only lasted a few minutes due to his skinny member and feeling of guilt (and I don't doubt her on that). She's 14, he's 20, and I'm 18 (an unusual reversal, as I am generally the one who is being cradle-robbed). She believes that she is in love with me and swears such an occurrence will never repeat itself, yet she still wants to be platonic friends with this man, as he "understands her in ways I do not."
For obvious reasons, I am against her maintaining a friendship with a man she cheated with, and I have little trust for the fickle love of youth. Am I being a typical asshole for telling her "him or me"? Is there a better way to put it than as an ultimatum (we all know those don't fly too well)?
?Alexander
Hmmm. Your girlfriend is acting like a child. Which would make sense, being that she is a child. What sort of mutant hillbilly are you? She's only 14. She doesn't know what love is?back off! As for the 20-year-old who's banging her?where the hell are this girl's parents? I hate to get all granny on your ass, but you men (again, emphasis on men) have to go away and find women to put your penises into. Leave this youngster alone.
And in case you were wondering, the age of consent in New York is 17. As you're 18, this would get you a Class B misdemeanor in a court of law. Leave her the hell alone! Four years isn't a big age difference when all involved are over 18, but right now it's a jailable offense. Pick on someone your own age.