WEDS WEDS. 5/7 Lord knows, kids today need all the ...

Lord knows, kids today need all the help they can get. Especially when they're trying to become artists. To help give them a leg up, the School of Visual Arts instituted the "Mentors" program, by which youngsters are paired with accomplished professionals in whatever field it is they dream of entering. Tonight, view the works the wee ones produced while working under the guiding hand of the old-timers at the SVA Visual Arts Gallery. 137 Wooster St. (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-592-2010; 6-8, free [through 5/24].

THUR. 5/8

The Tribeca Film Festival has so many events on the schedule that it's impossible to see them all. Unless, of course, you're one of the five movie-obsessed New Yorkers in directors Stephen Kijak & Angela Christlieb's new documentary, Cinemania. The subjects' two-film-a-day habit prevents them from maintaining jobs, relationships or social lives outside of the movies. There's a decent chance they'll be sitting beside you. United Artists Theatres, 102 North End Ave. (betw. 4th & 5th Pls.), 866-941-FEST, www.tribecafilmfestival.org; 10:30, $10 [repeats Sat. at 4:30].

Among this newspaper's artist alumni, Glenn Head and his playful, crackpot style stand upon a pedestal higher than most. Reading a description of Head's work as a "jack-in-the-box of post-surrealism" is more palatable when you also learn that his first artistic "awakening" came at the age of nine when the doodler-to-be first beheld a Big Daddy Roth iron-on. We much prefer "multi-colored mayhem of rave-up" to describe the comic-book madness and chaos of his work. Tonight, Manic Meltdown, a new show of cartoons, paintings and drawings, opens at Green Gallery. 212 Berry St. (betw. Metropolitan Ave. & N. 1st St.), Williamsburg, 718-599-0844; 7, free [through 6/8].

Creation epics are life-affirming even when stretched out of shape. They are even more so when performed by people with a deep connection to the piece. This is the case with New York's own Filipino troupe Kinding Sindaw and their show Lemlunay, a dramatization of a sacred myth from the southern Philippines. Using traditional instruments, chants and dances, the group tells of Prince Tudbulol and his sisters who fight to keep their homeland from being overrun by a powerful villain. In the process, they make Earth as we know it. Believe in creationism or not, this production helps restore faith. LaMaMa E.T.C. Annex Theater, 74A E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-475-7710; 7:30, $20 [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 7:30, Sun. at 2:30 & 7:30].

FRI. 5/9

The World Music Institute & Cooper Union present two highly acclaimed Roma (Gypsy) groups: Vera Bila & Kale, from Rokycany, a small village near Prague in the Czech Republic, and the Kolpakov Trio from Russia. Vera Bila is a vocal powerhouse who has rightly been called "the Ella Fitzgerald of Gypsy music." The Kolpakov Trio, from Moscow, was one of the first Russian Roma ensembles to tour North America in the post-Soviet period. Their style reflects both the traditional Roma music of the Srvi group (a group of Roma found mostly in Russia and the Ukraine), as well as years of professional experience. The group's repertoire is extensive and includes songs that have survived despite revolution, wars, famines and emigration. Great Hall at Cooper Union. 7 E. 7th St. (3rd Ave.), 212-545-7536; 8, $25, $15.

Even now, with economics and politics being what they are, there are still some emerging artists ballsy and hopeful enough to put themselves and their work out there. One of them, E. Robinson Gilligan (great name!) a born and bred Brooklyn sculptor, creates calming meditative pieces in a sensual minimalist style, which will be on view starting this week. Her pieces are created from construction materials, found objects and more conventional sculptural mediums, and will be shown alongside the work of three other promising new artists at the Zoran Gallery, 46-23 Crane St. (Jackson Ave.) Long Island City, 646-391-8690; reception 7-10 [through 5/19].

SAT. 5/10

One of our all-time favorite New York Press alumni, Jonathan Ames, has himself a new gig. For the month of May, he's starring in downtown performance-art kingpin Eric Bogosian's new stage production of Notes from Underground. Inspired by Dostoevsky's savagely funny (to us, anyway) short novel, Ames plays a recluse who finds himself slipping into a world of delusion and madness. We can't think of anyone better suited for the role (and that's a compliment). P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; 7:30, $15 [through 5/25].

SUN. 5/11

After seeing A Mighty Wind blow, it's refreshing to return to the mother of all mockumentaries, This Is Spinal Tap. You've either seen it 18 times or you haven't seen it at all. If you fall into the second category, be prepared for a pleasant letdown. If you fall into the first category, you've no doubt overhyped this fine little movie and ruined it for everybody else, you hyperactive "goes to eleven"-quoting motherfucker. Stick around for The Last Polka, starring Eugene Levy and John Candy as the Shmenge Bros. Based on an SCTV sketch, it's a parody of The Band's Last Waltz, and is said to be good. And dude, it's free, so quit your bitching. Makor, 35 W. 67th St. (betw. Columbus Ave. & Central Park W.), 212-601-1000; 7, free.

MON. 5/12

Our favorite half-human/half-elf, Saint Reverend Jen, is one of the most prolific artists in town, churning out unique paintings, essays, puppet shows, coloring books, "angsta rap," short films and much, much more, all of it reliably smart and odd. And though on the surface she's seemingly filled with rainbows and unicorns, she's equal parts bitter, misanthropic alcoholic and art-damaged dorky sex symbol. This summer, she introduces A.S.S. (Art Star Scene) Magazine, a black and white glossy that mocks all other advertising-as-journalism periodicals. To help raise money, she's throwing another always-ridiculous, must-see benefit with fellow art stars Jonathan Ames, the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players and plenty of others, from art-rock fuckups the Liquid Tapedeck to the clever character creations of Hank Flynn (lately appearing around town as the ghost of Dale Earnhardt). Bowery Poetry Club. 308 Bowery (betw. Houston & Bleecker Sts.), 212-614-0505; $8, 5.

TUES. 5/13

Recipient of the 2002 Lannan Prize for Cultural Freedom and most recently author of War Talk, Arundhati Roy is as gifted a speaker as she is a writer and activist. Following her address, which is sure to be blistering, Roy will answer audience questions in a public discussion led by historian Howard Zinn. Everything you ever wanted to know about opposing empire but were afraid to ask. Riverside Church, 490 Riverside Dr. (betw. 120th & 121st Sts.), 718-237-9145 x. 30; 7, $5-$10.

You've had to be drunk or high to enjoy anything John Hiatt has recorded since he got sober. That was, what, about 18 years ago? Fortunately, Hiatt's mellowing coincided with rock critics' all getting older, so his slide from Mr. Sardonicus to Mr. Americana came with plenty of raves. However, Hiatt seems to have finally rediscovered his pop roots with the new Beneath This Gruff Exterior. The record's full of effortlessly great tunes and could be hailed as a proper comeback-if, of course, critics hadn't made that term meaningless while pretending that Chrissie Hynde still has talent. Irving Plaza, 17 Irving Pl. (15th St.), 212-777-6800; 8, $35.

Advance Notice: TUES. 5/18

We hate to blow our load too early on this one, but we thought you'd want an advance head's up to sign up early for the 5th Annual Toys in Babeland-sponsored Masturbate-A-Thon. All you need to do is convince your friends, family and neighbors to sponsor one day of Olympic onanism. Then, on Sunday, May 18, they'll pay you for touching yourself in your own home. All proceeds benefit the Audre Lorde Project and the People of Color Against AIDS Network. For more info see www.babeland.com, 212-375-1701.

Contributors: Adam Bulger, Sharon Her, Jim Knipfel, Malory Jensen, Hana Nakamura, Sarah Shanok, J.R. Taylor, Andy Wang, Alexander Zaitchik.