WEDS WEDS. 4/9 He looks and sounds like ...

He looks and sounds like a Dick Tracy villain in a stickman world, but we prefer to think of Chris Whitley as part of the urban blues experience. Otherwise, we'd be referring to his "backing musicians" as "enablers." Anyway, Hotel Vast Horizon is a fascinating new album from the ambitious bluesman, and is refreshingly direct after some experimental indulgences. Johnny Society is a healthy band of young men, and their Life Beyond the 21st Century Wall is another solid rock album with some mainstream bluesy moments. Village Underground, 130 W. 3rd St. (betw. 6th Ave. & MacDougal St.), 212-777-7745, 8, $15, $13 adv.

THURS. 4/10 

Dave Shouse, formerly of the Grifters and Those Bastard Souls, has taken his significant songwriting skills to a far more interesting place with the Bloodthirsty Lovers. Shades of Swervedriver, Flaming Lips and even the Beach Boys can be heard through Shouse's rack of guitars and the keys and sampler that space and stretch out the sound behind pop hooks. The occasional hiphop beat slips into the psychedelic mix like they were born there, and assuming the album's feel can be recreated on stage, the Lovers' rich, warm songs should make the Mercury Lounge a fine place to be if the spring snow sticks around. Charlene and Lockgroove open. 217 E. Houston St. (betw. Ludlow & Essex Sts.), 212-260-4700, 9:30, $10, $8 adv.

FRI. 4/11

Every peeping Tom, ten-inch Dick and hairy-palmed Harry claims to be an expert on porn. But "Porno" Jim Graham truly knows and understands the sublime art of fucking on screen. A writer and photographer whose work you may have seen in such magazines as Leg World and Up the Skirt, Graham respects smut while mining it for all the comedy it's worth. Tonight, he and his bookishly foxy assistant Bex! will entertain while instructing audience members on this most sublime of arts. Leave the raincoats at home?this is a classy class. Collective: Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277, 10, $15, 18+.

Heard the one about the ruler in Iraq who was so powerful that only supernatural forces could curb his desires and actions? Come to a reading of Gilgamesh at 11 a.m., just one of the highlights of the third-annual People's Poetry Gathering. The three-day festival, beginning today, includes peace jams, drinking slams and enough readings to keep your favorite crunchy kid happy. Arlo Guthrie and Pete Seeger are scheduled to appear this weekend, presumably with their guitars. Bowery Poetry Club, 309 Bowery (betw. 1st & 2nd Sts.), 212-529-1955, see www.peoplespoetry.org for complete prices and schedule.

SAT. 4/12

Remember the first time you saw The Shining and felt all squishy watching those creepy little girls walking down the hall? With that image, Kubrick tapped into a basic human truth: Children are scary motherfuckers. In "The Home School for Nervous and Delicate Children," Christin Couture's mostly monochromatic paintings, drawings and stereoscopic photos take full advantage of the creepiness of kid. The lil' darlings presented at this exhibition aren't rosy-cheeked cherubs, but rather haunted and pale. They're dead-eyed monsters beckoning you to come play with them. Plus?and this is not a joke?there's an oddly compelling picture of a baby that's really, really fat. At Dabora Gallery, 1080 Manhattan Ave. (betw. Eagle & Dupont Sts.), Greenpoint, 718-609-9629, 12-5, free.

The Detroit-based Clone Defects, who can best be described as part Dead Boys, part Heartbreakers, bring their dirty punk rock 'n' roll songs to the brand new hot spot of Café Siné. They're touring in support of their newest album, Shapes of Venus, which is out now on In the Red Records, the same record label responsible for another Motorcity fave, the Dirtbombs. Playing with two other talked-about groups, the Little Killers and Some Action. 150 Attorney St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-388-0077, 8:30, $8.

Sun. 4/13

Today is the last day of the 133rd Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey three-ring spectacular. Tonight, they take down the tents and hit the road, and after the 8 p.m. performance, all 10 Asian elephants?too many to hop in a cab, too big to ride the 7 train?will take to the streets and head to the Midtown Tunnel for Long Island City, where their train to Philadelphia awaits. Madison Square Garden, 2 Penn Plaza (32nd St.), 212-465-MSG1, find a friendly stagehand and ask for the departure time.

With recent headlines such as "Baghdad Goes Dark as Coalition Closes In" and "Oregon Law Would Jail War Protestors as Terrorists," one can't help but walk with a heart and head heavy with fret. Tonight, transfer some of that worry onto the players at Freestyle Repertory's new show, Free-Associated Press, in which the actors use news stories?as suggested by the audience?as the basis for improv. Working in the tradition of Brecht and using skills honed in an earlier, similar production, A Waiter's Nightmare, this troupe offers an imaginative way to blow off some steam after wading through countless stories of depressing current events. Trilogy Theater, 341 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-206-1515, 7, $12.

MON. 4/14

Tonight's your last chance to get your taxes done and not be one of those jerks running to the post office tomorrow night at 11:59 p.m. to secure that much-coveted April 15 postmark. If you can't afford to pay someone else to deal with the pain, make a pot of strong coffee and crack open that shoe box of receipts. One recommendation: If you've made any tax-deductible donations to Arab or Muslim charities, you might consider not declaring them. And if you're attempting the noble but Byzantine (and some say low-risk) ritual of withholding your war taxes, don't count on sleeping. You'll need more than one night to wrestle that bureaucratic octopus. Good luck, and godspeed.

TUES. 4/15

Some three years ago, we stumbled upon a comprehensive (and gargantuan) Picasso exhibit at the Neue Nationalgalerie in Berlin. While it's sometimes difficult to appreciate an artist when faced with hundreds of works?the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam, anyone??it's valuable to see the development of the artist across an extended period of time. Currently on display at Gagosian Gallery are more than 40 sculptures that span some two decades of the great cubist's life, from 1909's Head of a Woman (Fernande) to 1914's Glass of Absinth and up to Flowering Watering Can (1951-1952). After fighting the crowds at the MOMA QNS exhibit, hop back on the 7 and head uptown. 980 Madison Ave. (75th St,), 212-744-2313, Tues.-Sat., 10-6, free [through May 3].

Advance Notice: Thurs. 4/17

Original wonderkid memoirist and friend to the stars, J.T. LeRoy brings a bit of L.A. into town at a reading and performance to benefit the McAuley Institute at St. Mary's Medical Center Foundation in San Francisco, which the now-23-year-old author credits with saving his life. In addition to readings by Maggie Gyllenhaal, Shirley Manson, Stephan Jenkins, Liz Phair, Tatum O'Neal and Bijou Phillips, the J.T.-associated band Thistle will perform (he writes the lyrics and "plays tambourine, like Susan Dey"). And in what we hope isn't a violation of her parole, Winona Ryder will host the evening. The Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8500, 7, $30-$60.

Contributors: Adam Bulger, Art Janik, Mallory Jensen, Jeff Koyen, Sarah Shanok, J.R. Taylor, Alexander Zaitchik.