WEDS WEDS. 4/23 At a time when lots of people ...

At a time when lots of people are claiming to be experts on Islam, Bernard Lewis actually is one, and tonight the oft-quoted dean of American Islamic studies reads from his controversial new book, The Crisis of Islam: Holy War and Unholy Terror. Lewis is widely respected for his deep knowledge of the history and culture of the Middle East, but his grasp of contemporary political realities is sometimes questioned. Find something that confuses you about this part of the world, stick your hand up and pretend you're one of his star students at Princeton. He's a feisty old man, and this should be a good talk. Barnes and Noble, 33 E. 17th St. (betw. B'way & Park Ave. S.), 212-253-0810, 7, free.

Tonight, two short films capture and explore two lost histories of Eastern Europe on the eve of and during WWII. At 6, the Anthology Film Archives shows Luboml: My Heart Remembers, an absorbing, one-hour documentary about everyday life in a Polish shtetl. As Luboml was destroyed by the Nazis, so were many Roma, and Porraimos, which follows at 7, is the first American-made documentary to show how the Holocaust engulfed the Roma communities of Eastern Europe. The images and films from the Reich Department of Racial Hygiene leave particularly indelible marks. 32 2nd Ave. (2nd St.), 212-505-5181; 6; $8.

If you've ever been in the club and wanted to hear Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" or Sporty Spice's "I Turn to You," then Chip Duckett and the folks at Spin Cycle have the perfect dance party-Crap. Featuring tons of novelty songs and one-hit wonders, you'll enjoy the unpretentious vibe and "disco classics, new wave shit and pop schlock" as spun by Duckett and drag queen Trai La Trash. Embrace the music and you might embrace their motto: "One's man's crap is another man's party." Guernica, 25 Ave. B (betw. 2nd & 3rd Sts.), 10, 212-462-9077, free.

THURS. 4/24

Before Carson Daly and 3,000 variations on the real-world docudrama formula killed the video star, MTV aired short "videos" that set "images" to "music." Crazy, innit? Considering how much many people (including us) thought they sucked at the time, it's something of a kick in the crotch to feel nostalgic about them now. Tonight at MOMA's Gramercy Theater, watch them enter the canon of art in an event hosted by indie rock hottie of yore, Kim Gordon. Forty videos will be shown, none of which, sadly, will be "Cherry Pie" by Warrant. 127 E. 23rd St. (betw. Lexington & Park Aves.), 212-777-4900; 8, $12, $8.50 st./s.c.

This is what the 1960s should've been like. The Grateful Dead playing bluegrass hardly shook up the status quo, and NARB would have been the real middle-finger to 1950s America. They replace meaningless, liquid light shows with engagingly mysterious video projections of concrete images rendered only partially abstract. NARB is also much less professional than its 1960s counterparts: Nico the singer will spend half the show yelling at his two guitarists while the deft rhythm section improvises nonstop. They keep our toes tapping while the other three musicians trade instruments or goof off. And being much cooler than all the 1960s bands, NARB has a 14-year-old girl playing (5-string!) bass. What more could you ask for? How about free wine and no cover? Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277, 10, free.

FRI. 4/25

In 1994, cartoonist, Christ-hater and Floridian poster boy Mike Diana was famously arrested because someone didn't like his comic zine Boiled Angel. At the time, no one who knew of the case thought much of it-ridiculous, right? Yet he was convicted of distributing and advertising obscene drawings. Almost 10 years later, he's staging the most extensive exhibit of his art ever to grace the walls of New York City. See the vivid and cartoonish acrylics of mutilated penises, twisted alligators and?well, more mutilated penises that cemented Florida's reputation as America's wang. Tonight's the opening party. Blue House of Sin, 203 Woodpoint Rd., 2nd fl. (betw. Conselyea St. & Skillman Ave.), Williamsburg, 917-250-7192, 7, free [until May 10].

As the founder of Skoda records, Patrick O'Donnell introduced Czech rock (including the great Uz Jsme Doma) to the States. Before that he was a lawyer. And now, every once in awhile, he tries his hand at being a singer/songwriter. Unlike the wild experimentalism of those Czech bands, however, O'Donnell sticks solidly with the basics of three-piece indie rock. His second album, Then I Woke Up, can sound at times like a solo effort from some aging, forgotten member of the Replacements or fIREHOSE (especially on tracks like "As If It Really Mattered")-but that's a-okay with us. Luxx, 256 Grand St. (betw. Roebling St. & Driggs Ave.), Williamsburg, 718-599-1000. 8, $6.

As that hepcat columnist Earl Wilson once wrote, "The participants of show business are rumpots, nymphomaniacs, prostitutes, fakes, liars, cheats, pimps, hopheads, forgers, sodomists, slobs, absconders?," to which we say, "Bring it on!" Find all this and more (and free drinks!) at HEAT, a monthly evening of literate erotica and burlesque. Past performers and writers include Jonathan Ames, Anna Curtins and Mike Albo; the upcoming one will feature the World Famous *BOB* (the self-described "female-female impersonator" and international topless sensation) and Maggie Estep, among others. As your hostess Christen Clifford (author of the one-woman show, Seventeen Guys I Fucked) says, this is a night of the hottest writing and the biggest ta-tas in New York. Culture Project, 45 Bleecker Street (betw. Bowery & Lafayette St.), 212-352-3101, 10:30, $15, charge by phone or go to www.theatermania.com.

SAT. 4/26

Having given them ink since aught-one, we aren't ashamed to continue hyping Kaiju Big Battel. The Japanese monster-wrestling performance art spectacle was recently featured on Jimmy Kimmel, and tonight they'll pack Roseland. The event-basically, college kids dressed as Japanese monsters wrestling one another-stands to be one of the best nights of your life, so long as the band doesn't suck and the show starts on time. In support of this evening is the great and much-hyped Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players-that ugly couple and their kid playing music based on slides they find at yard sales. Roseland, 239 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-247-0200, 7:45, $20.50 in advance through Ticketmaster (212-307-7171), $25 day of show.

SUN. 4/27

Handpicked by River Cuomo to open for Weezer maybe because they sound exactly like Weezer, Ozma are a great band for, um, Weezer fans. While the real thing broods, best to check out their aural doppelgangers at Knitting Factory with songs from their forthcoming record, Spending Time on the Borderline, which may actually sound a bit less like Weezer. Hopefully they will do "Battle Scars" and their rapid-fire Tetris theme-crowd-pleasers at last year's Warped Tour. Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-219-3055, 8, $10.

MON. 4/28

According to statistics, the average American works nine weeks longer than his or her European counterpart-each year. The implications for our society are many, and they're not pretty. Authors from Soft Skull Press have addressed this topic in several recent books, and tonight they join media critics in a discussion of the state of this world we inhabit. In the wake of tax season in a sickly economy, their insights and suggestions couldn't be more welcome. Housing Works Used Book Cafe, 126 Crosby St. (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-3324; 7, free.

Garnering solid reviews from the Washington Post and Booklist, Nina Revoyr's Southland takes readers across three generations of a Japanese-American Los Angeles family, from the 1930s to the present day. This follow-up to Revoyr's The Necessary Hunger is an engaging, thoughtful book that even East Coasters can enjoy. Tonight, the author reads at Barnes & Noble in Brooklyn. 106 Court St. (State St.), 718-246-4996, 7, free. Also on Tues., April 29 at Partners & Crime, 44 Greenwich Ave. (Charles St.), 212-243-0440, 7, and Sun., May 4 at KGB, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-505-3360, 7, both free.

TUES. 4/29

When you want to do cutting-edge improvisational comedy, where do you look for inspiration? Why, 16th-century Italy, of course. That's when the commedia dell'arte form was at its peak, commedia dell'arte being a performance art that is not strictly spontaneous, but which allows actors to paint their own brilliant colors within a prior outline. Lick the Spoon is a troupe that modernizes this tradition to create a living cartoon starring clowns and professional actors. If the style of the old masters of comedy is as timeless as that of the old masters of art, their shows should give off sparks. Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 8, $10.

Contributors: Christopher X. Brodeur, Christopher Carbone, Mallory Jensen, Mary Karam, Jim Knipfel, Lisa LeeKing, J.R. Taylor, Ned Vizzini, Alexander Zaitchik.