WEDS WEDS. 3/26 In Savitri Durkee’s new play, Sky No ...

In Savitri Durkee's new play, Sky No Sky, two sisters and the soldier they love picnic in a ghost town as the world around them takes the A train to oblivion. While the mighty MOAB is off "liberating" everything in its mighty path, Durkee has this to offer: a singular take on the psychology (and physiognomy) of permawar. The cast includes Bill Talen, better known as anticonsumerism evangelist the Rev. Billy. (Ms. Durkee assures us that during the five-night run of Sky No Sky, the Reverend will leave his megaphone at home.) At the Walker Stage, 56 Walker St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-226-5051, 8 p.m., $15, $10 st./s.c. [through 3/30].

THURS. 3/27

Handmade, oversized brushes are James Nares' signature tools, and with these brushes he induces a sweeping, fluid dance across the canvas. The images are not unlike scarves fluttering in the wind. These works-which can reach nine feet in height-will be on display at the Paul Kasmin Gallery. The reception is tonight, 6-8 p.m. 293 10th Ave. (27th St.), 212-563-4474. Tues.-Sat. 10-6, free [through 4/26].

Aside from a bag of crank and a hot tub full of paid-for escorts, what could be more fun than Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey? This year, Bello the clown (who looks suspiciously like Vanilla Ice in grease paint but was-we swear-named America's Best Clown by Time magazine) will thrill audiences with his "daredevil hilarity." The Globe of Death will feature five "reckless" motorcyclists who will "orbit within inches of each other." And then there's Bailey's Comet, which isn't a drink at all, but a fiery human cannonball. Egads! Bring the kids to ensure that they will fear and hate clowns for the duration of their lives, which may end up being short after they immediately create a Globe of Death using stolen plywood and BMXes. Oh, and don't forget the tigers and elephants. Madison Square Garden, 2 Penn Plaza (32nd St.), 212-465-MSG1; 3 & 7:30, $12.50-$45.50 [through 4/13].

FRI. 3/28

At first, Kelly Osbourne's "I want an Oompa Loompa now, Daddy!" act was disturbingly entertaining; she was a car crash with ill-advised boutique clothes and a pink faux-hawk. Now that The Osbournes' shark has jumped, landed and looked back in shame, the whiniest, most spoiled and most British girl in the world brings her shtick to NYC. The doors open at a TRL-audience-friendly time, and Kelly will probably start and finish with her Madonna cover. In two or three years, when the young beast has taken up residence in the upper-right-hand quadrant of Hollywood Squares, you can tell your stoner buddies about how you saw her at Irving Plaza and made out with a high school kid during the opening act. With Har Mar Superstar. 17 Irving Pl. (15th St.), 212-777-6800, 8, $17, $15 adv.

SAT. 3/29

All winter, the NYC-based Enemy Love has been holed up in a cabin in Massachusetts fiddling with their instruments and perfecting their sound. Now, like early sunrises and filthy squirrels in Washington Square, they've come back. Hear the boys meshing their earnest, postpunk sound with haunting melodies and almost-danceable rhythms this weekend with Clown Down and Peter Machera. At Alphabet Lounge. 104 Ave. C (7th St.), 212-780-0202, 8 p.m., $6.

When leaving "Leonardo da Vinci, Master Draftsman" at the Met (which closes on Sunday), one can't help but feel that they just don't make 'em like they used to. That mixture of passionate yet painstaking draftmanship and tireless devotion to invention doesn't seem to have a home in the ironic, in-jokey early-21st-century art world. Enter Zak Smith, a multimodal punk as conversant with photography, comic books and psychedelic abstraction as with conventional portraiture. His Mona Lisas are girls with primary-colored hair in Brooklyn apartments, presented in watery acrylics. Instead of a flying machine, he's concocted a photochemical process that produces photographic prints hovering somewhere between drawing, painting, film and animation. See where this cross-disciplinarian is taking Pop Art at tonight's opening reception. Fredericks Freiser Gallery. 504 W. 22nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-633-6555, 6 p.m. [through 5/3].

SUN. 3/30

You may remember Andrzej Wajda from such films as Korczak, Man of Iron and Ashes and Diamonds. The renowned Polish director snagged the American spotlight when he received the lifetime achievement award at the 2000 Oscars. His new 2002 documentary, The Polish Film School, follows his life from WWII resistance fighter to creator of films depicting the details of war, Nazism and Communism that destroyed his homeland. Poles aren't all about bread lines, but their films don't usually have gumdrop endings either. The film is the capstone of a three-day-long festival of Polish documentaries presented by the Kosciuszko Foundation at Anthology Film Archives. 32 2nd Ave. (2nd St.), 212-505-5181, 8:30 p.m., $8.

So often, the outfits that come down the runways of the world's fashion centrals are things no one in her right mind would wear-if she could even manage to put them on. Tonight, Spoke the Hub Dancing, a Brooklyn performance troupe, holds its Recycled Fashion Show and High Tea, in which the models wear donated used clothing that's been spruced up a bit for the occasion. Enjoy tea by the Union Street runway, then buy some of the vintage duds for yourself. At Spoke the Hub Re:Creation Center. 748 Union St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), Park Slope, 718-857-5158; 3, $15 incl. tea, RSVP recommended.

Gender-twisting T Cooper reads from her acclaimed first novel, Some of the Parts, at the 15th Annual Small Press Book Fair at 1:30 p.m. today. Cooper's debut novel, published by Brooklyn's Akashic Books, is The Corrections for the rest of us-the filially estranged, the pre-op outcasts, the pill-popping products of dysfunctional, post-nuclear families who can bask in her literary empathy. Because Cooper brings a performance background to the reading lectern, expect her already-vital characters to come even more fully to life. At the Small Press Center, 20 W. 44th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-764-7021, free.

Composers Pavel Haas and Viktor Ullmann were interred in Theresienstadt (aka Terezin), the Potemkin-like arts camp set up by the Nazis to distract the Red Cross when they came around on their inspection tour. Haas was a student of Janacek and a solid composer of chamber works, and Ullmann was a complete badass-one of the real musical organizers of cultural activity in the camp. He dabbled in dodecaphony and other serial procedures, producing incredible chamber works, most notably his string quartets. Both men died in Auschwitz, but not before composing several works that, miraculously, survived them. Tonight, Elysium and the Brooklyn Museum of Art present pieces by both men, coinciding with the installation of "The Last Expression: Art and Auschwitz," on display until June 15. At Cantor Auditorium, Brooklyn Music of Art. 200 Eastern Parkway (Washington Ave.), 718-638-5000, 3, $6, $3 st./s.c.

MON. 3/31

Although Walter Cronkite relinquished the anchorman's chair on CBS Evening News more than 20 years ago, the 86-year-old newsman has never shied away from speaking his mind. Lately, he's been slapping the Bush administration for its relentless pursuit of war in Iraq, telling a Drew University audience recently that their arrogance has been "exceptional." We're curious to hear what he has to say now that American bombs are raining down on Baghdad. At Museum of Television & Radio, 25 W. 52nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-621-6600, 6:30, $15.

Think you've got your nerve up to once again risk goofing on an 80s hair-metal act? You might go out in style at a concert by Bang Tango. These guys weren't just another feather-locked bunch of studs from L.A. They were also the scene's sole funky kings, and that's just as entertaining as it sounds. The core members made the usual attempts to score with industrial beats or grungy thrash-metal, but they've been keeping the sacred Bang Tango name alive since 1998. Beg them to skip the pyrotechnics, and maybe you'll stay alive, too. At Don Hill's. 511 Greenwich St. (Spring St.), 212-219-2850, 8 p.m., $15.

TUES. 4/1

As some might have noticed, we've lately been trying to take in more of the city's finer cultural offerings. Because we don't fancy wading through the camera-toting throngs at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and MOMA QNS, this isn't always easy or convenient. Instead, we're visiting exhibits like "Bronzeville: Black Chicago in Pictures, 1941-1943," which features more than 120 photos of Chicago's South Side in the early 1940s. At International Center of Photography, 1133 6th Ave. (43rd St.), 212-857-0000; 10-5, $10, $7 st./s.c. [through 5/25].

Contributors: Adam Bulger, Christoper Carbone, Joshua Cohen, Katharine Crane, Art Janik, Mallory Jensen, Hana Nakamura, Jill Ruchala, J. R. Taylor, Andy Wang, Alexander Zaitchik.