WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY Fantastic Fiction A. KGB is a claustrophobia-inducing, darkly ...

Fantastic Fiction

A. KGB is a claustrophobia-inducing, darkly lit, red-walled bar. B. Peter Straub and Stewart O'Nan are two of America's best writers, depending on what kind of writing you like. C. Straub writes horror books and O'Nan, normally a more "high lit" writer, has just written his first bit of macabre, a highbrow ghost story called The Night Country. D. Halloween is coming. Time to get your spine tingled by two masters while drinking in a place that would make your heart rate and paranoia increase anyway. KGB, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-505-3360, 7, free.

Scrabylon

Scrabble babble? Yep. And on the championship level, no less. This documentary about what the press-people for the movie call "the cut-throat world of tournament Scrabble" documents the head scratching, vocabulary-wracking tale of the tour to the 2001 Championships in Las Vegas. Scrabylon is a look into a subculture that is a fascinating mix of the twisted and banal. Tonight is the New York premiere. Millennium, 66 E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-673-0090; 7:30 p.m., $6.

Jamie Oliver

Oh, that adorable scamp, with his marble-mouth accent and cute wife and do-gooder restaurant and baby on the way? Unlike Emeril, whose mannerisms and quirks quickly became as annoying as those of a 30-year spouse, it's hard to hate Jamie Oliver-despite the overexposure. If you missed the Monday night debut of Jamie's Kitchen, the once-Naked Chef's third series on the Food Network, you can catch a five-episode marathon Sunday evening starting at 6. Tonight, he talks and signs books at Barnes & Noble Union Square. 33 E. 17th St. (betw. Park Ave. S. & B'way), 212-253-0810, 7, free.

Estrogenius

Week three of Estrogenius, the unfortunately named chick-power theater festival now in its fourth year, kicks in tonight with a quartet of one-acts at the small but comfortable space of Manhattan Theatre Source. On the bill are Catherine Zambri's Brown Paper Bag Picnic Gunch, Just a Second by Fiona Jones, Courting Monsters by Elizabeth Anderson and Molly. Molly. by Mac Rogers. If the five plays staged during week two are any indication, the second half of this four-week celebration will be worth a look-see. 177 MacDougal St. (betw. W. 8th St. & Waverly Pl.), 212-260-4698, 8, $15.

One Acts

Red-alert to lovers of lean and mean theater: Century Center has opened a run of Beckett/Albee one-acts that's on until the end of the year. Not for the faint of heart, the program is acted by Marian Seldes and Brian Murray and directed by Lawrence Sacharow. Seldes plays two of Beckett's great female solos: May, creeping through Footfalls in a dialogue with her mother's voice, and the nonstop mouth in Not I. Mouth's spotlit torrent is one of avant-garde theater's indelible mis-en-scenes, appropriated on the big screen for Rocky Horror's opening song.

Murray delivers A Piece of Monologue, a feat of theater swallowing its own tail as the narrator describes events that must've happened on the spare set. The two actors go mutual for Edward Albee's Counting the Ways, as a couple recounting scenes from their marriage (Sacharow directed Seldes in Albee's comeback play, Three Tall Women).

The Century Center evening is a much-needed update for these two great playwrights. Beckett's brief works, initially mauled by critics pining for Godot's existential slapstick, deserve their hard-won stature, while Albee's reputation suffered after not meeting the promise of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Lately, the latter has enjoyed a resurgence of praise, thanks in part to last year's The Goat. Humor's not the only thing deeply entrenched in these short plays, reminding one about laughing last. Century Center for the Performing Arts, 111 E. 15th St. (betw. Park & 3rd Aves.), 212-239-6200, call for times, $65.

THURSDAY

The Inevitable Breakups

Funny name aside, this four-piece is all about the power-pop-rock crunch. With infectious vocal harmonies reminiscent of the Raspberries, Weezer, the Cars and Cheap Trick, they combine those artists' musical qualities to kick-ass results. Unlike those bands/commodities, however, these guys sound like they're actually having fun and don't give a shit about anything other than rocking out and making their ex-girlfriends cry. Get ready to jump off the bar and leap into a pop frenzy. With AeroVox. Sin-é, 150 Attorney St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-388-0077, 8, $8.

The Revenge of Frankenstein

The second Hammer-studios foray into the Frankenstein legend. Director Terence Fisher and star Peter Cushing (both of whom would make several others as the years passed) finds the notorious doctor escaping the guillotine, returning to his castle in Germany and making a new life for himself in the dry cleaning business. Keep your eyes peeled for Lionel Jeffries as the grave-robber and one of the worst fight scenes ever, ever filmed. At the Sony Wonder Technology Lab (which makes us wonder what's really going on there), 550 Madison Ave. (56th St.), 212-833-8100, RSVP 212-833-7858, 6, free.

One Acts

Red-alert to lovers of lean and mean theater: Century Center has opened a run of Beckett/Albee one-acts that's on until the end of the year. Not for the faint of heart, the program is acted by Marian Seldes and Brian Murray and directed by Lawrence Sacharow. Seldes plays two of Beckett's great female solos: May, creeping through Footfalls in a dialogue with her mother's voice, and the nonstop mouth in Not I. Mouth's spotlit torrent is one of avant-garde theater's indelible mis-en-scenes, appropriated on the big screen for Rocky Horror's opening song.

Murray delivers A Piece of Monologue, a feat of theater swallowing its own tail as the narrator describes events that must've happened on the spare set. The two actors go mutual for Edward Albee's Counting the Ways, as a couple recounting scenes from their marriage (Sacharow directed Seldes in Albee's comeback play, Three Tall Women).

The Century Center evening is a much-needed update for these two great playwrights. Beckett's brief works, initially mauled by critics pining for Godot's existential slapstick, deserve their hard-won stature, while Albee's reputation suffered after not meeting the promise of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Lately, the latter has enjoyed a resurgence of praise, thanks in part to last year's The Goat. Humor's not the only thing deeply entrenched in these short plays, reminding one about laughing last. Century Center for the Performing Arts, 111 E. 15th St. (betw. Park & 3rd Aves.), 212-239-6200, call for times, $65.

FRIDAY

Camp Lo

The Bronx duo Camp Lo burst onto the scene in 1997 with a debut album featuring the smash hit "Luchini (aka This Is It)." The album, a free-spirited soul-funk-jazz fusion, became an instant underground classic, and it looked as though Camp Lo might emerge as the next New York hiphop group to break the gangsta-rap mold. Then, their follow-up, Let's Do It Again, was universally panned as the latest sophomore slump in the long history of second-round hiphop failures. These days, Camp Lo has moved away from the carefree revelries of the honorable underclass and has embraced the standard indulgences of popular hiphop. The lyrics may have changed, but their delivery is smooth as it was six years ago, and continue to validate them as key members of the underground. Southpaw, 125 5th Ave. (betw. Sterling & St. John's Pls.), Park Slope, 718-230-0236, 9, $15, $12 adv. door.

UkUk, Split Me Wide Open, The Vespers

It's Friday night and you've just been set free. Is there anything more to be said to your coworkers? Do you really need to talk more shop? Skip happy hour, catch an early show at the Knitting Factory. Headliners UKUK are a little bit punk, a little bit surf, a whole lot of loose-like bopping around, while supporters Split Me Wide Open are the same proportion of punk to electro artkid (and were recently named one of 16 bands to watch by New York). Both should follow nicely the Thunders-like pop of the Vespers, featuring former members of the poppy Jumping Bomb Girls. Knitting Factory Old Office, 74 Leonard St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-219-3006, 8, $17.

Pussy Benefit Party

A jaw-droppingly awesome night of punk, with daring girl-garage band Mz. Pakman and the fabulous Psychos, featuring Tourette's Syndrome screamer Johnny Murder on vocals. DJ Ill Mess Syndrome'll play the tunes as you buy one of P5!'s new bubblegum-flavored cupcakes or a back issue of her zine, Pussy. Four other bands are playing, including the Hawaiian-themed Fisherman. Otto's Shrunken Head, 538 E. 14th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-228-2240, $5, 9.

One Acts

Red-alert to lovers of lean and mean theater: Century Center has opened a run of Beckett/Albee one-acts that's on until the end of the year. Not for the faint of heart, the program is acted by Marian Seldes and Brian Murray and directed by Lawrence Sacharow. Seldes plays two of Beckett's great female solos: May, creeping through Footfalls in a dialogue with her mother's voice, and the nonstop mouth in Not I. Mouth's spotlit torrent is one of avant-garde theater's indelible mis-en-scenes, appropriated on the big screen for Rocky Horror's opening song.

Murray delivers A Piece of Monologue, a feat of theater swallowing its own tail as the narrator describes events that must've happened on the spare set. The two actors go mutual for Edward Albee's Counting the Ways, as a couple recounting scenes from their marriage (Sacharow directed Seldes in Albee's comeback play, Three Tall Women).

The Century Center evening is a much-needed update for these two great playwrights. Beckett's brief works, initially mauled by critics pining for Godot's existential slapstick, deserve their hard-won stature, while Albee's reputation suffered after not meeting the promise of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Lately, the latter has enjoyed a resurgence of praise, thanks in part to last year's The Goat. Humor's not the only thing deeply entrenched in these short plays, reminding one about laughing last. Century Center for the Performing Arts, 111 E. 15th St. (betw. Park & 3rd Aves.), 212-239-6200, call for times, $65.

SATURDAY

Jonas Mekas

Travel Songs burst with feeling onto the big screen, and the Venice Biennale pavilion featured Williamsburg, Brooklyn (1949) this year. Both works by Jonas Mekas show in the "diaristic" master's program at New York Film Festival's Views from the Avant-Garde. Walter Reade Theater, Lincoln Center, 165 W. 65th St. (B'way), 212-721-6500, 7, $9.50, $7 st.

Evan Dando

We are very excited about this show, and for only the cruelest of reasons. During the flannel-draped days of the mid-90s, the sourest lemonhead had a magic ability to make all the cute indie-rock girls swoon. Then, Evan Dando peaked and sloped, and we're quite enjoying the downfall. Though, to be honest, there are moments when we get past our petty jealousies and remember singing along to that Simon and Garfunkel cover or even-just how old are we?-recall fondly driving down a New Jersey highway with "Hate Your Friends" blaring-and we figure, yeah, it sorta still is a shame about Ray. With Vic Chesnutt and the Sharp Things. Bowery Ballroom, 6 Delancey St. (betw. Bowery & Chrystie St.), 212-533-2111, 9, $17.

One Acts

Red-alert to lovers of lean and mean theater: Century Center has opened a run of Beckett/Albee one-acts that's on until the end of the year. Not for the faint of heart, the program is acted by Marian Seldes and Brian Murray and directed by Lawrence Sacharow. Seldes plays two of Beckett's great female solos: May, creeping through Footfalls in a dialogue with her mother's voice, and the nonstop mouth in Not I. Mouth's spotlit torrent is one of avant-garde theater's indelible mis-en-scenes, appropriated on the big screen for Rocky Horror's opening song.

Murray delivers A Piece of Monologue, a feat of theater swallowing its own tail as the narrator describes events that must've happened on the spare set. The two actors go mutual for Edward Albee's Counting the Ways, as a couple recounting scenes from their marriage (Sacharow directed Seldes in Albee's comeback play, Three Tall Women).

The Century Center evening is a much-needed update for these two great playwrights. Beckett's brief works, initially mauled by critics pining for Godot's existential slapstick, deserve their hard-won stature, while Albee's reputation suffered after not meeting the promise of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Lately, the latter has enjoyed a resurgence of praise, thanks in part to last year's The Goat. Humor's not the only thing deeply entrenched in these short plays, reminding one about laughing last. Century Center for the Performing Arts, 111 E. 15th St. (betw. Park & 3rd Aves.), 212-239-6200, call for times, $65.

SUNDAY

Silent Slapstick Family Tree

You simply cannot consider yourself a movie fan, especially a fan of comedies, unless you've seen a couple Buster Keaton films. The Brooklyn Public Library is showing four of them, including one of The Great Stone Face's early match-ups with Fatty Arbuckle, in the Buster After Arbuckle installment of their Silent Slapstick Family Tree series. Arbuckle was the first person to notice Keaton's solemn comedic genius, and the two made numerous movies together before Arbuckle's career and personal life were destroyed when he was falsely accused of murder. A perfect Sunday afternoon. Grand Army Pl., Flatbush Ave. (Prospect Park W.), Park Slope, 718-230-2100, 2, free.

American Oligopoly

Bedwetting liberals take note. Today, at Union Square there's an interactive theatrical performance where foreign policy is presented as a giant game of Monopoly. Play against the major players in the Bush administration in the game. And then, when it's over, enjoy some nice herbal tea and an old Billy Bragg record. Union Square Park, 17th St. (betw. B'way & Park Ave.), 212-252-3700; 12, free.

Fushitsusha

The Japanese are just weird. Maybe it's some sort of post-Hiroshima thing (by the way guys, we feel just awful about that, really.). Perhaps something atomic in the water led to anime, their sideways approach to music and all that weird porn. Improv guitar genius' Keiji Haino creates music that's the aural equivalent of bukake. It's heavy and weird and by the time it makes sense, you're in it too deep to get out. Tonic ,107 Norfolk St. (betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts.), 212-358-7501, 8, $12.

One Acts

Red-alert to lovers of lean and mean theater: Century Center has opened a run of Beckett/Albee one-acts that's on until the end of the year. Not for the faint of heart, the program is acted by Marian Seldes and Brian Murray and directed by Lawrence Sacharow. Seldes plays two of Beckett's great female solos: May, creeping through Footfalls in a dialogue with her mother's voice, and the nonstop mouth in Not I. Mouth's spotlit torrent is one of avant-garde theater's indelible mis-en-scenes, appropriated on the big screen for Rocky Horror's opening song.

Murray delivers A Piece of Monologue, a feat of theater swallowing its own tail as the narrator describes events that must've happened on the spare set. The two actors go mutual for Edward Albee's Counting the Ways, as a couple recounting scenes from their marriage (Sacharow directed Seldes in Albee's comeback play, Three Tall Women).

The Century Center evening is a much-needed update for these two great playwrights. Beckett's brief works, initially mauled by critics pining for Godot's existential slapstick, deserve their hard-won stature, while Albee's reputation suffered after not meeting the promise of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Lately, the latter has enjoyed a resurgence of praise, thanks in part to last year's The Goat. Humor's not the only thing deeply entrenched in these short plays, reminding one about laughing last. Century Center for the Performing Arts, 111 E. 15th St. (betw. Park & 3rd Aves.), 212-239-6200, call for times, $65.

MONDAY

Superchunk

We apologize for recommending that you take the PATH train two nights in a row, but believe us, it'll almost be worth the negligible hassle. Here's the thing: now that Superchunk's not cool anymore, you can enjoy their pre-adolescence in peace. The band's lead singer, guitar player and former boyfriend of the girl bass-player hasn't changed up his style since No Pocky For Kitty, but he's still one slack mother-so shut your mouth. With the Essex Green. Maxwell's, 1039 Washington St. (11th St.), Hoboken, 201-653-1703 9, $12.

Sebastiao Salgado and Bob Sacha

The Casa Italiana at NYU opens an exhibit of photographs taken by the renowned documentary photographers Sebastiao Salgado and Bob Sacha in Parma, Italy. Today they're holding a gala shindig open to the public. Salgado is famous for photos from war-ravaged Afghanistan and for iconic work in open-air mines in Brazil, while Sacha's work has been featured for years in Life and National Geographic. Their Parma essays are an opportunity to see two intimate views of one of Europe's vibrant small cities, famous for Verdi and opera, prosciutto and Parmigiano Reggiano cheese, and home of filmmakers Bertolucci and Pasolini. The exhibit runs through Nov. 18, with lectures this month on Parma's elaborate Baptistry building, a landmark of proto-Gothic architecture, and Wallis Wilde-Menozzi's chronicle of contemporary life in Parma, Mother Tongue. Casa Italiana, 24 W. 12th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-998-8730, 10-5, reception 6-8, free.

TUESDAY

Brian Jonestown Massacre

Best band name ever? Debatably, yes. But more important is the musical Kool-Aid offered by cult favorite Brian Jonestown Massacre. They sort of sound like an updated version of classic Stones, and that makes sense. If they had the same name and didn't sound like the Stones, the whole enterprise would be in questionable taste. With the High Strung and the Deathray Davies. Maxwell's, 1039 Washington St. (11th St.),Hoboken, 201-653-1703, 8:30, $10.