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WEDNESDAY 3/17 WEDNESDAY 3/17 Cabaret Elvis ...

| 16 Feb 2015 | 06:35

    FACE="New York" SIZE=5>

    WEDNESDAY 3/17

    Cabaret

    Elvis Has Entered the Building! See dead-on impersonator of the side-burned king of rock 'n roll, occasionally all jazzed up in glitter & gold; Trailer Park Lounge, 271 W. 23rd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-463-8000; 8:30 & 10, free .

    Sunny Leigh's Opera Night Soprano Sunny Leigh sings arias & popular Italian songs w/Sheldon Forrest on piano; Buona Sera, 94 University Pl. (12th St.), 212-627-9200; 7-9, free .

    Shelly Mars There's not a goy in sight when wild & raunchy Jewish girl Mars sings, tells jokes & hosts lots of dancing girls; the Marquee, 356 Bowery (betw. Great Jones & E. 4th Sts.), 212-475-1975; 9, $10.

    Comedy

    Alien Comic/Jack Bump It's a Battle Royale feat. Alien Comic & his evil twin Jack Bump?get ready for "an evening of rudeness"; the Marquee, 356 Bowery (betw. Great Jones & E. 4th Sts.), 212-475-1975; 7:30, $10.

    Billy Burr performs stand-up w/Jessica Kirson, Richie Byrne, Sherrod Small & Steve Marshall; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45, $12.50-$20 [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 8:45, Fri. at 8:30 & 10:30, Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].

    Chicago City Limits gets AmBUSHed What better way to protest the Bush Administration than with sketch comedy & improv? Use that tax refund & get some tickets!; Chicago City Limits Theater, 1105 1st Ave. (61st St.), 212-888-5233; 8, $20 [repeats Thurs. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 8 & 10:30].

    Lenny Clarke Film & tv actor returns to his stand-up roots; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 7:30, $22.50-$30 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 8 & 10:30].

    Comedy Salsa feat. NYC's best Latin-American comics; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

    Comedy Therapy Maureen Marren cures you w/laughs from nationally known comics; Otto's Shrunken Head, 538 E. 14th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-228-2240; 8, free .

    Invite Them Up Original stand-up hosted by Eugene Mirman & Bobby Tisdale; RiFiFi, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-677-5368; 8, $5 sugg. don.

    Colin Quinn Funny man performs stand-up w/Keith Robinson, Greg Giraldo, Godfrey & Nick DiPoalo; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10-$15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 9 & 11, Fri. at 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., Sat. at 7:30, 9:15, 11 & 12:45 a.m.].

    The Rejection Show Jon Friedman and Adam Cole-Kelly host this monthly staple built around comic bits & cartoons rejected by everyone from SNL to the New Yorker; the Tank, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; 8, $5.

    Joan Rivers "Raunchy, politically incorrect evening" of stand-up from the trendsetting plastic surgery poster lady?proceeds benefit God's Love We Deliver & Guide Dogs For the Blind; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 8, $25.

    St. Patrick's Day Comedy Spectacular Poppi Kramer hosts an all-star line-up incl. Erin Foley, Mitchell Olson, Shelagh Ratner, Nancy Witter & Michael Conley?don't forget to wear green; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 7, free .

    Dance

    Peter Boal & Co. The NY City Ballet Principal & his elegant crew do some grooving; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (19th St.), 212-242-0800; 8, $40 [repeats Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 2 & 7:30].

    Wally Cardona Quartet w/live drummers, fake grass & Brahams for piano?not to mention "an air of romantic apocalypse"; the Duke, 229 W. 42nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-415-5552; 8, $20, $15 st./s.c. [repeats Thurs. & Sat. at 8, Sun. at 2 & 7].

    Le Vu Long & Maura Nguyen One's based in Hanoi, the other stateside, both have companies that can shake it like a polaroid picture; Dance Theater Workshop, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, $20 [repeats Thurs.].

    THURSDAY 3/18

    Cabaret

    Girlsalon Robin Cloud hosts queer variety show w/Angela Jiminez, Tami Hart, Dirty Phoenix, Chris Gross, Jen/Ed, Michele Balan & Goddess Perlman?preceded by reading feat. Michelle Walsh, Raimy Rosenduft & Robin Pickering (8 p.m.); Starlight Bar & Lounge, 167 Ave. A (betw. 10th & 11th Sts.), 212-475-2172; 9, $5.

    "Hello Boys" Michael Conley & Matthew Loren Cohen sing original songs in a hilarious musical comedy examining the "life of a performer living in NYC"; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

    Megan MacKenzie Lawrence does her thing on the microphone; Miss Elle's, 226 W. 79th St. (betw. B'way & Amsterdam Ave.), 212-864-1829; 9, $15.

    Comedy

    Comedy Soapbox Dan Cronin, Rick Mann & Betsy Wise are up on the stand-up soapbox; Nevada Smith's, 74 3rd Ave. (betw. 11th & 12th Sts.), 212-982-2591; 9, $5.

    Obsessively, Sam One-act about a brother who can't forget his one true love?his sister! Murder, drama & laughs galore!; Under St. Marks, 94 St. Marks Pl. (betw. Ave. A & 1st Ave.), 212-696-7949; 8, $12, $8 st. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 8, Sun. at 4].

    Shang HBO & BET comic/poet tickles your funnybone; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 10, $18-$22.50 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 12:30 a.m., Sun. at 10].

    Thursday Night Comedy Show Hogwild hosts a set of new comics each week; Hiroko's Place, 75 Thompson St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts.), 212-625-1303; 8, 1 item min.

    Uncensored Comedy Greg Wilson pres. great line-up of comedians, incl. Dustin Chafin, Ted Alexandro, Laura Levites & Jim Norton; Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-260-7993; 9:30, $4 & 1 drink min. [repeats Fri. at 11:30, Sat. at 8:30, Mon. & Tues. at 9:30].

    Dance

    Lydia Johnson Dance pres. new & recent works for blue indecent jerks?just kidding, Lyd; Dicapo Opera Theater, 184 E. 76th St. (betw. Lexington & 3rd Aves), 212-288-9438; 8, $25, $10 st./s.c./artists [repeats Fri. & Sat.].

    Charles Linehan Co. Award-winning English act graces our shores; Danspace Project at St. Mark's Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-0910, RSVP 212-674-8194; 8:30, $15 [repeats Fri.-Sun.].

    Katherine Profeta pres. her first independent show, "131," based on Beethoven's "Opus 131 in C-sharp minor"; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; 7:30, $5 [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 7:30, Sun. at 5].

    FRIDAY 3/19

    Cabaret

    Julie Foldesi appears w/the cast of the Lovesphere's new show, American Eyeball & noted urban country free Jazz quartet GENeraLHOspiTAL; the Belt Theatre, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-629-6572; 8, $8.

    "Get Up & Jive: Even More Songs of Joni Mitchell" Obie-winning experimental theater artist John Kelly does Mitchell in drag; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 8, $20 [repeats Sat., through 3/27].

    Happy Hour Salon Singer-comic Joanna Parson hosts salon feat. singer-songwriter Jen Harris, stand-up comics Anne Altman & Eric Vetter, one-woman show Emmy Gay & performance artist The Bitter Poet; Siberia, 356 W. 40th St. (9th Ave.), 212-333-4141; 6, $5.

    The Karaoke Show The Donkey Show creators bring you their rendition of The Comedy of Errors?feel free to rock the mic or grind after the show; China Club, 268 W. 47th St. (8th Ave.), 212-398-3800; 7, $35-$55 [repeats Sat.].

    Naked Slumber Party Party all night at the O'Debra Twins' sleepover w/guests like Johanna Buccola, Jessica Delfino & The Black Cat Burlesque; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; 8, $6.

    Comedy

    Eat and Get Gas Here Classy sketch comedy in the heart of Times Square; the Sage Theater, 711 7th Ave. (48th St.), 212-382-8818; 8, $15, $10 st./s.c. [through 4/23].

    The McKellog Report Improv show feat. "news you can't trust"; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 8:30, $7.

    The Next Big Broadway Musical Improvised two-act musical comedy, where audience participation is a must; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 9, $10 & 2 drink min.

    Off the Top of Our Heads Fast-paced, short-form improv from one of the city's best groups; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7, $7 [repeats Sat. at 7].

    Piece of Bullshit Pie "The truth is bitter?bullshit pie is delicious!"; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 8, $7.

    Ray Ellin hosts stand-up feat. Sue Costello, Tim Young, JJ Ramirez, Keri Louise & Kurt Metzger; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., $17 & $12 min.

    Sweet Paprika Ophira Eisenberg & Allison Castillo host this weekly comedy show w/special guests; Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-260-7993; 8:30, $5.

    3-Way Mexican Lei Try the Berkovits wit & the nachos grande?also, stand-up from Floridian Duncan Jay & Long Islander Allegra Barnett; Maui Tacos, 330 5th Ave. (betw. 32nd & 33rd Sts.), 212-868-9720; 8, 6:30 sign-up, 1 item min.

    Dance

    Yvone Curry pres. "An Evening of Tap" w/guests & a tribute to Gregory Hines; Third St. Music School Settlement, 235 E. 11th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-777-3240; 7:30, free .

    Flamenco Latino sings & dances w/guests Rick Santiago & Barbara Martinez; Alegrias Restaurant, 239 W. 14th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 917-880-9737; $10.

    Thomas/Ortiz Dance Ted & Frances choreograph, while others join them in dance; Merce Cunningham Studio, 55 Bethune St. (Washington St.), 718-482-3512; 9, $15, $10 st./s.c. [repeats Sat. at 8 & Sun. at 7:30].

    Ellis Wood Dance but he doesn't feel like it?Ha! Thank you, thank you?new work has sections named Earth, Air, Fire & Water?working title was "Captain Planet," but it's now called "Haereticus"; Tribeca Performing Arts Center, 199 Chambers St. (betw. Greenwich & West Sts.), 866-941-FEST; 7, $10, $8 st./s.c. [repeats Sat.].

    SATURDAY 3/20

    Cabaret

    "Coney Island Freak Show" feat. classic freaks & human curiosities incl. fire & sword swallower Tyler Fyre, bug eater Insectivora, python charmer Serpentina & glass muncher Professor Scott Baker?plus dirty jokes & legions of strippers; Cutting Room, 19 W. 24th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-691-1900; 10, $15.

    Glorya Wholesome's Living Legends feat. "Manhattan's top Madonna impersonator," the One Madiva, the Ravishing Miss Reality, the Gorgeous Gia, the Enticing Egypt & the Radiant Rajene; Now Bar, 22 7th Ave. S. (Leroy St.), 212-293-0323; 10, $15-$20.

    Jennie Litt & David Alpher "Commie Cabaret" from husband/wife team celebrating 20-century communist culture in the songs of Earl Robinson, Woody Guthrie & more; Peoples' Voice Cafe , 45 E. 33rd St. (betw. Park Ave. S. & Madison Ave.), 212-787-3903; 8, $10.

    Sinatra Saturdays Cary Hoffman performs Sinatra classics w/the Stan Rubin Orchestra; Carnegie Club, 156 West 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-957-9676; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.

    Spring Fling Billed as "The Main Event II," this looks like it'll be the event of the spring w/the Pontani sisters hosting a star-studded show feat. Miss Imodesty Blaize from London, NYC comic Murray Hill, DJ Brother Cleve & other tassle-twirling stars of the burlesque; Southpaw, 125 5th Ave. (betw. St. John's & Sterling Pls.), Park Slope, 718-230-0236; 9, $15.

    Comedy

    All Aboard the U.S.S. Boatship Elephant Larry group pres. new maritime-themed sketch show; the Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-539-7686; 8, $10, $7 st.

    The Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Larry Getlen runs da show feat. Tom McCaffrey, Jon Corbett, Bruce Cherry, Nellie Stevens, Brendan Galivan, Gilad Foss, Dave Greenberg & Carmen Lynch; Boudoir Bar at East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), Carroll Gardens, 718-624-8878; 9:30, $5 & 2 drink min.

    Gay & Lesbian Comedy Fest Wave that rainbow flag & enjoy a good laugh w/Chuck Sweeney as Peggy Lee, Lisa Kaplan, Shelagh Ratner, Danny McWilliams, Sidney Myer & Ted McElroy; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 11, $10 & 2 drink min.

    Bill McCarty emcees stand-up from Vanessa Hollingshead, Eddie Iffit, Ardie Fuqua, Lenny Marcus & Ted Alexandro; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 6, 8, 10:15 & 12.30 a.m., $17 & $12 min.

    New Faces of Comedy MAC Award-winner Nancy Witter introduces you to Lauren Antler, David Hodorowski Carol Ann Doner, Lena Martinez, Caroline Durham, Melanie McCarthy & Richard Green?be nice!; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

    No Name & a Bag o' Chips "NYC's best damn comedy/variety show" gives away free bags of chips, raffles off door prizes & tells a lot of jokes; Common Basis Theater, 750 8th Ave. (46th St.), 212-414-5420; 11:30, free .

    Poole Party! Ron Poole hosts long-running comedy/variety show feat. NYC's funniest; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

    "Rock 2: The New Rock Albers Show" MAC award-winner returns w/musical parodies of James Bond, Britney Spears, The Golden Girls & Oklahoma, the state, performed in a Brooks Brothers suit, paired w/fuzzy pink bunny ears; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 5, $10 & 2 drink min.

    The Viy Drawing on influences from Mel Brooks to German Expressionism, this comedy is adapted from a Nikolai Gogol short story; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; 7:30, $15 [through 4/10].

    Dance

    Moving Kids Salon Moving Arts Projects pres. talented, professional dancers in an informal setting where the audience is invited to join in; Children's Aid Society, 219 Sullivan St. (betw. W. 3rd & Bleecker Sts.), 212-254-3074, RSVP 646-613-8668; 2, don.

    Christine Suarez pres. "Dope," a dance drawing upon 2001 Zephyr skating team documentary, Dogtown and Z Boys; Tribeca Performing Arts Center, 199 Chambers St. (betw. Greenwich & West Sts.), 866-941-FEST; 3, $10, $8 st./s.c. [repeats Sun.].

    12-Hour Marathon as part of huge centennial celebration of George Balanchine; Peter J. Sharp Theater, Symphony Space, 95th St. (B'way), 212-864-5400; call for times & prices.

    SUNDAY 3/21

    Cabaret

    An Intimate Evening of Song Aimee Steele & Robert Mannis sing the jazz, pop & rock songs of Todd Almond, Eli Bolin, Lance Horne, Gabriel Kahane, Georgia Stitt & Benjamin Toth; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 7, $15.

    Comedy

    Friends & Family Kick off the week on a gentle note, when Josh Haness hosts comedy night w/a "friendly & familial atmosphere"; Beauty Bar, 231 E. 14th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-539-1389; 8, free .

    Sunday Night Improv Tom Sorter's long-running improv group yuk it up; Chicago City Limits Theater, 1105 1st Ave. (61st St.), 212-888-5233; 7, $10.

    Wildfire All-star improv feat. funny people from the nation's best improv acts; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 8, $7.

    Dance

    "Hats Off, Taps On For Gregory" Tribute to Gregory Hines for the whole family?see www.lincolncenter.org for details; Walter Reade Theater, Lincoln Center, 165 W. 65th St. (B'way), 212-721-6500; 11:30 a.m. & 2, $16, $9 kids.

    MONDAY 3/22

    Cabaret

    Good Jewish Girls Gone Bad Goddess Perlman hosts regulars, incl. poet Vanessa Hidary, songwriter Michelle Citrin, comedian Cynthia Levin & the Shiksa Dancers, w/special guests; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 9:30, $12.

    Monday Evening Burlesque Julie Atlas Muz pres. classic, tassle-twirling fun w/Veronika Sweet, Amber Ray & all the rings of Miss Saturn; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-782-5188; 9:30, free .

    Show & Tell Those crazy O'Debra Twins host a "wet & wild open mic" as performers "have seven minutes in heaven to do whatever the heck they want"; Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery (betw. Bleecker & Houston Sts.), 212-614-0505; 10, $3.

    Comedy

    Steve Byrne performs stand-up alongside Nancy Redman, Sherrod Small, Rob Magnotti & Pete Correale; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45, $12.50 [repeats Tues.].

    Eating It Bill Burr hosts the show w/Kid in the Hall Scott Thompson, Tami Vernekoff, David Feldman, Marina Franklin, Marc Maron, Andy Borowitz & Tammy Faye Starlite; Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323; 8:30, $8 incl. free drink.

    Hysteria Weekly stand-up showcase that'll have you in stiches; Lion's Den, 214 Sullivan St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-477-2782; 9-11, free .

    Initial Stages Production built around works-in-progress, incl. stand-up, sketches, one-person shows & improv; Workshop Theater Co., 312 W. 36th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-695-4173; 9, $5.

    Mamalogues Hayden Ward's funny one-mama show about growing up with her mother in Georgia?paired with Jayne Napier's "Rattled"; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 8, $5.

    New Talent Night Stand-up comedy from fresh new talent?second show features Rash Behaviour improv/sketch group; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 7 & 9:30, $15 & 2 drink min.

    Colin Quinn Funny man performs stand-up w/Robert Kelly, Kevin Brennan, Godfrey & Jim Norton; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Tues.].

    Dance

    "Crossing Boundries" feat. Monica Bill Barnes, "the blithe maiden of decades-ago dance"; Dance Theater Workshop, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 8, $12, $10 st./s.c.

    Dance Jam Everyone's invited to the Children's Aid Society's weekly dance improv?open to all movers, even those lacking backgrounds in modern or other dance forms, incl. contact improv, martial arts, acting or release techniques; Children's Aid Society, 219 Sullivan St. (betw. W. 3rd & Bleecker Sts.), 212-254-3074; 8:15, $8.

    Gypsy Spirit Dancers of the Budapest Ensemble & the Gypsy band pres. "Journey of the Roma"; Peter J. Sharp Theater, Symphony Space, 95th St. (B'way), 212-864-5400; 8, $15-$35.

    TUESDAY 3/23

    Cabaret

    "The Amazing Russello Magic Hour" Rabbits pulled from a hat! Scarves of every color drawn from a sleeve! You never know what to expect when Russello hits the stage...but you know it'll be magical; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 7:30, $15.

    Relative Harmony Sister team Ann Hampton & Liz Callaway pres. their blend of pop & jazz tunes; Feinstein's at the Regency, 540 Park Ave. (61st St.), 212-339-4095; 8:30, $60 & $30 min. [through 4/3].

    Comedy

    Chopshtick NYC's best Asian comics keep it real; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

    "Funny Film Shorts" Watch comedy shorts submitted by "up-and-coming" filmmakers; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 7, $12 & 2 drink min.

    Get Starkers Comedy Night Take in some improv at this new Willy B bar; Alligator Lounge, 600 Metropolitan Ave. (Lorimer St.), 718-599-4440; 9, free .

    New Class Clowns Go back to school w/host Bryan Kennedy & his funny cohorts; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 9:30, $12 & 2 drink min.

    Shirts & Shots Comedy showcase feat. sketch comedy troupe Big Bucket Head, musical comics Stuckey & Murray & stand-up from Steve Rosso, Mike Catayo & Kelly Peck; Siberia, 356 W. 40th St. (9th Ave.), 212-333-4141; 8, $5.

    Dance

    "Performance Mix Festival" Six-evening event starts tonight?experimental dance, music & multi-disciplined works; Joyce Soho, 155 Mercer St. (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-7479; 8, $15.

    THEATER

    IN PREVIEWS

    From Door to Door Three generations of women become very different mothers; Westside Theatre, 447 W. 43rd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $55 [opens 3/24].

    Johnny Guitar "A new musical based on the 1954 cult film favorite"; Century Center for the Performing Arts, 115 E. 15th St. (betw. Park & 3rd Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times & prices [opens 3/23].

    The Journals of Mihail Sebastian "chronicles the rise of anti-Semitism in World War II era Bucharest"; Phil Bosakowski Theatre, 354 W. 45th St., 2nd Fl. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 2, $19 [opens 3/23, 4/4].

    The Marijuana-Logues "Catch the buzz"; Actor's Playhouse, 100 7th Ave. S. (betw. Bleecker & Christopher Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Thurs. & Tues. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 8 & 10, mat. Sun. at 4:20, $55 [opens 3/30].

    Mr. Fox: A Rumination "A reflection on the life and work of America's first celebrity clown"; Signature Theater Company, 555 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-244-PLAY; call for times & prices [opens 3/28, through 5/2].

    Silent Laughter Pre-talkie cinema w/live music, pratfalls, pranks, pies in the face, sultry vamps, little tramps & a conundrum of Keystone Cops; Lamb's Theater, 130 W. 44th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times & prices [opens 3/18].

    Sixteen Wounded Play about friendship betw. aging Jewish baker & young Palestinian starring Judd Hirsch & Martha Plimpton; The Walter Kerr Theater, 219 W. 48th St. (6th Ave.), 212-239-6200; call for times & prices [opens 4/15].

    The Sound of a Hammer Hitting the Head Uh...pres. by "Kwatz! The Tibetan Project"; West End Theater Church of St. Paul & St. Andrew, 263 W. 86th St. (betw. B'way & West End Ave.), 212-362-3328; call for times, $10-$40 [opens 3/24, through 4/11].

    The Truth About Blayds and Mr. Pim Passes By, two plays by Winnie the Pooh author A.A. Milne; Mint Theater, 311 W. 43rd St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-0255; call for times & prices [opens 4/14].

    Well Star Lisa Kron describes it as a solo show w/other people in it; Joseph Papp Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $50 [opens 3/28].

    RECENTLY OPENED

    All About Sneakers "An old-fashioned story of love"; Wings Theatre, 154 Christopher St. (Washington St.), 212-502-0318; call for times, $15 [through 3/24].

    Aunt Dan and Lemon Wallace Shawn, star of Princess Bride, co-author of My Dinner with Andre & son of famed New Yorker editor William Shawn, offers new production of his "political horror story"; Kirk Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; call for times, $50 [through 3/27].

    Bee-Luther Hatchee "Shelita Burns, an up-and-coming African-American book editor in New York City, publishes the memoirs of an elderly, Southern black woman named Libby Price, only to discover that the author is not exactly who she seems"; Blue Heron Arts Center, 123 E. 24th St. (betw. Park Ave. S. & Lexington Ave.), 212-868-4444; call for times, $15 [through 4/4].

    Big Bill "Bill Tilden was considered one of the greatest tennis players of all time, dominating the sport in the 1920s by winning seven U.S. championships. He was also a closeted homosexual"; Mitzi E. Newhouse Theater, 150 W. 46th (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $60 [through 5/16].

    Carnival Knowledge "A gasp-inducing journey into the subculture of circus and sideshow"; Soho Playhouse, 15 Vandam St. (6th Ave.), 212-691-1555; call for times, $35-$45.

    Cirque Jacqueline: Behind the Facade of Jackie O. History of the former first lady incl. her turbulent childhood; the Triad, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), 212-362-2590; Weds. at 7:30, $15-$22 [through 3/31].

    Dolphin Up a Tree Children's musical feat. Tina Talkington, who turns herself into many things incl. a dolphin & a tree; 78th Street Theater Lab, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-873-9050; Sun. at 11 a.m., $12.95 [through 4/8].

    EatFest: Spring 2004 "Semi-annual short play festival features work of over 60 artists"; Douglas Fairbanks Theater, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $15 [through 4/4].

    The Falcon's Magic Feather Children's theater piece about princess & enchanted falcon based on Russian folklore; Vital Theatre Co., 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-592-0129; mats. Sat. at 1, Sun. at 1 & 3, $14 [through 3/28].

    Fiddler on the Roof Alfred Molina stars as Tevye...although you can get the same thing, plus potato pancakes & a smokin' version of "Satisfaction" over at Sammy's Roumanian on Chrystie Street; Minskoff Theatre, 200 W. 45th St. (7th Ave.), 212-307-4100; call for times.

    Golda's Balcony Tova Feldshuh portrays "the rise of Golda Meir from impoverished Russian schoolgirl to prime minister"; Helen Hayes Theatre, 240 W. 44th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times & prices.

    Great Men of Gospel "Follows the evolution of gospel music in America"; Henry St. Settlement Abrons Arts Center, 466 Grand St. (Pitt St.), 212-598-0400; Weds.-Fri. at 7:30, Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30 [through 4/11].

    Gutenberg: The Musical! "The true story of Johann Gutenberg?the man who invented the printing press" (shit, we thought this was about Police Academy cadet, Steve); Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-366-9176; Weds. at 8.

    Henry IV Meet Hal, Shakespeare's most charismatic hero; Workshop Theater Co., 312 W. 36th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-695-4173; call for times & prices [through 4/3].

    Internal "An evening of mental spring cleaning"; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; call for times, $10-$15.

    Jack! Family-friendly "rock-bluegrass musical based on the Appalachian version of the medieval fairy-tale, Jack and the Beanstalk"; Looking Glass Theater, 422 W. 57th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-307-9467; call for times, $12, $10 child [through 4/10].

    The Last Days of Don Juan Nick Dear adapts Tirso de Molina's drama about history's most infamous lover; Juilliard Drama Theater, 155 W. 65th St. (betw. B'way & Amsterdam Ave.), 212-769-7406; Fri-Mon. at 8 [through 3/22].

    Match Couple interview famous, aging choreographer & find out they have connection to him; Plymouth Theater, 236 W. 45th St. (6th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, call for prices [through 4/4].

    Matt & Ben "What if the only thing standing between you and destiny was Ben Affleck?"; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; call for times, $22.50.

    Menopause The Musical "is the parody that chronicles the meeting of four women at a lingerie sale in Bloomingdale's fighting over a black lace bra with nothing in common but memory loss, hot flashes, night sweats, chocolate binges, wrinkles, plastic surgery, hormones, not enough sex, too much sex, and much more"; Playhouse 91, 316 E. 91st St. (2nd Ave.), 212-307-4100; call for times & prices.

    Mercury: The Afterlife and Times of a Rock God One-man show all about everyone's favorite Queen, Freddy Mercury; the Triad, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), 212-362-2590; Sun. at 7, $30 [through 3/21].

    A Midsummer's Night's Dream Shakespeare by the UK-based Watermill Theatre Production Co.; BAM Harvey Theater, 651 Fulton St. (betw. Rockwell & Ashland Pls.), Ft. Greene, 718-636-4100; call for times, $25-$60 [through 3/28].

    Moms "Veteran stage and television actress Clarice Taylor is resurrecting America's first female stand-up comedienne, Jackie "Moms" Mabley, for the off-Broadway stage"; Kirk Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; call for times & prices.

    Moo! The Twisted Tale of Dinky Farms "Animal Farm meets 'Looney Tunes'"; Manhattan Theatre Source, 177 MacDougal St. (W. 8th St.), 212-501-4751; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15.

    The Moonlight Room Two highschool students spend Saturday night waiting in the ER for news of a friend?we've all been there!; Samuel Beckett Theatre, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; call for times, $45, $15 st.

    More Yeardley Smith, the voice of Lisa Simpson, in one-woman show about fame, or rather a lack of it; Union Square Theater, 100 E. 17th St. (Park Ave. S.), 212-505-0700; call for times, $20-$60.

    Mrs. Dally Has a Lover Summer of '42 during a New York City winter; the Pantheon Theater, 303 W. 42nd St., 2nd Fl. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-981-8702; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 3/21].

    My Big Gay Italian Wedding Needless to say, the plot revolves around a few obstacles to a traditional Catholic affair...; Actor's Playhouse, 100 7th Ave. S. (betw. Bleecker & Christopher Sts.), 212-239-6200; Fri. at 10, mat. Sat. at 3, $40 [through 5/29].

    My Kitchen Wars "A declaration of food, infidelity and emancipation"; 78th Street Theater Lab, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-873-9050; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7:30, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2:30, Sun. at 3, $35.

    No Exodus "A barefoot and stuttering Shepard is approached by God and asked to go back to Egypt to confront the powerful Pharaoh. Armed with little more than a phrase, 'I am that I am,' he unhappily obliges"; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-206-1515; call for times & prices.

    Nocturnal Commissions New play will be auctioned at 6:30, followed by dinner & then a performance; New Dramatists, 424 W. 44th St. (10th Ave.), 212-757-6960; Mon. at 9, call for prices.

    Open Heart "New musical [takes] comic look at how we discover and determine life's priorities"; Cherry Lane Theater, 38 Commerce St. (Bleecker St.), 212-206-1515; call for times, $50 [through 4/25].

    Orchidelirium "Take the journey across two centuries and explore the one flower that can cause a fever in the brains of humans; a desire to possess, to create and to control so strong that it h