WEDNESDAY 12/10 WEDNESDAY 12/10 Cabaret Elvis ...
Cabaret
Elvis Has Entered the Building! See dead-on impersonator of the side-burned king of rock 'n roll, occasionally all jazzed up in glitter & gold; Trailer Park Lounge, 271 W. 23rd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-463-8000; 8:30 & 10, free .
Norman's Big Night Out Norman Gosney pres. vaudeville reminiscent of Moulin Rouge (minus Nicole Kidman)?feat. singers, dancers, comedians, acrobats, jugglers & fire workers; Show, 135 W. 41st St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-278-0988; 9:30, $25.
Santa's Nuts, Cracker...a White Trash Holiday Burlesque Spectacular feat. the Bombshell girls, Bunny Love & MC Bradford Scobie; Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (Stanton St.), 212-253-7246; 9, $7.
Seasons of Love Uptown Express pres. songs by Ann Hampton Callaway, Maltby & Shire, Gloria Estefan, & Kern & Hammerstein; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 9, $15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs.].
Comedy
Comedy Therapy Maureen Marren cures you w/laughs from nationally known comics; Otto's Shrunken Head, 538 E. 14th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-228-2240; 8, free .
Garlic Breath A fun mixture of comedy, poetry & open-mic; Infra-Red Lounge, 210 Rivington St. (betw. Pitt & Ridge Sts.), 212-254-5043; 8, free .
Ms. Jackson All girl, all gay improv; People's Improv Theater, 154 W. 29th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-563-7488; 9:30, $8.
Suckin' Down the Holidays & yet they don't suck, not really. A comedy, variety & musical extravaganza; Trilogy Theater, 341 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-316-0400; 8, $15. [repeats Thurs-Sat].
Dance
Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Legendary Co. on staff through January; City Center, 131 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; call for times & prices.
Balanchine's The Nutcracker New York City Ballet's opening night feat. holiday performances of the children's classic?we always loved the rat king, what a stud!; NY State Theater, 20 Lincoln Center, B'way (64th St.), 212-870-5570; 7, $20-$93. [repeats Thurs. at 6, Fri. at 8, Sat. at 2 & 8, Sun. at 1 & 5].
The Flight Project continues w/choreography from Dwight Roden & Bebe Miller; BAM Harvey Theater, 651 Fulton St. (betw. Rockwell & Ashland Pls.), 718-636-4100; 7:30, $20-$45. [repeats 12/12].
mech[a] & OUTPUT New dance & mixed media project by koosil-ja; Élan, 70 Washington St. (betw. York & Front Sts.), Dumbo, 212-375-0186; 8, $15. [repeats Thurs.-Sun.].
THURSDAY 12/11
Cabaret
The Glamazons Some big ladies entertain you with music & more; Cutting Room, 19 W. 24th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-691-1900; 12 a.m., $10 min.
Ixion The original 1868 burlesque play feat. the World Famous *Bob*, blues diva Lex Grey, Miss Lora Marie & Albert Garzon; Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (Stanton St.), 212-253-7246; 9:30, $7.
Little Annie pres. carols, musings & scientific anecdotes; Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (Stanton St.), 212-253-7246; 8, $7. [repeats Fri-Sat.].
The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita update the lounge act w/classics like "Stairway to Heaven" & cheesy renditions of Eminem hits; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free .
"The Rat Pack Review" Kevin James & Frank Bray perform hits by "ol' blue eyes" & the dashing Dean?plus comedy from Al Del Bene; Nolita Tavern, 30 Spring St. (Mott St.), 917-237-1901; 9 & 11, free .
Starshine Burlesque Master Jack Fetterman & the Meat Mistress join Dirty Martini & Eva Svensson; Cinema Classics, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-677-1027; 10, $5.
Comedy
Uncensored Comedy Greg Wilson pres. a great line-up of comedians; Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-260-7993; 9 & 11, $4 & 1 drink min. [repeats Fri. at 11 & Sat. at 9].
Automatic Vaudeville Weekly comedy/variety show; Ars Nova, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-981-9722; 8, $5.
Laurie Kilmartin joins Colin Quinn & Ellion Chaing for hillarious stand-up; Sam's, 263 W. 45th St. (8th Ave.), 212-719-3020; 8, $10 & $10 min.
Lick the Spoon Saves Christmas An ensemble troupe of professional actors & clowns brings color & life to improv; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7, $10.
Lisa Lampanelli The "Queen of Mean" talks dirty & funny?just the way you like it; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), res. req. 212-757-4100; 10:30, $21.50 & 2 drink min.
Thursday Night Comedy Show Hogwild hosts a set of new comics each week; Hiroko's Place, 75 Thompson St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts.), 212-625-1303; 8, 1 item min.
Dance
Central Station Zoltan Nagy & the Phobos Dance Co. of Hungary take part in the citywide series of Central/Eastern European Dance?don't be confused by the Phobos that he got, he's still Zoltan from the bloc?plus Ioana Popovici's Requiem for a Dog; Danspace Project at St. Mark's Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-0910, RSVP 212-674-8194; 7:30, $10-$15. [repeats Fri. & Sat.].
Chris Elam is to the Misnomer Dance theater what Jason Elam is to the Denver Broncos: an inspiring kicking machine; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; 7:30, $15. [repeats Fri.-Sat. at 7:30, Sun. at 5].
Flamenco con cuerpo y alma, frijoles y medium pepsi. Actually, Spanish dancers from Spain?if their show is half as passionate as their flyer...hot damn!; Thalia Spanish Theatre, 41-17 Greenpoint Ave. (betw. 41st & 42nd Sts.), Sunnyside, 718-729-3880; 8, $28. [repeats Fri. at 8, Sat. at 3 & 8, Sun. at 4].
Maria Elena Anaya pres. "De Passiones Sin Returno," boasting passions & no returns; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-475-7710; 7:30, $20. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 7:30, Sun. at 2:30 & 7:30].
Nai-Ni Chen Dance Co. pres. "Unbroken Thread," which some vociferous, Village-based, free publication said was "like visual poetry"; Baruch Performing Arts Center, Nagelberg Theater, 250 E. 25th St. (Lexington Ave.), 212-387-1136; 8, $25, $15 st./s.c. [repeats Fri.-Sun.].
FRIDAY 12/12
Cabaret
Amateur Burlesque Win $500 for taking it all off at Great American Amateur Striptease contest feat. progressive house & techno beats by DJ Moody; Webster Hall, 125 E. 11th St. (betw. 3rd & 4th Aves.), 212-353-1600; 10, $30.
The Bindlestiff Family Cirkus Winter Cabaret The ecclectic troupe of vaudeville virtuosos incl. talented members from Ringling Brother & Cirque du Soleil in their winter line-up; Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Aves.), res. req. 877-246-3537; 11, $15. [repeats Sat.].
Floating Vaudeville Night Von Von Von hosts a night of tango-trapezeing, rowdy, raunchy burlesque fun w/Ruby Valentine; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), 718-782-5188; 10 p.m.-1 a.m., $5.
Guys as Dolls Joe Posa & Joe Schmitz's belt the best of the one-named ladies: Liza, Madonna & Britney!; Iridium Room, 1650 B'way (51st St.), 212-582-2121; 7, $25-$27.50. [repeats Sat. & Sun.].
Have Yourself A Judy Garland Christmas The cast of Golden Girls Live pres. their take on the girls: Judy, Bea Arthur & Carol Channing; Rose's Turn, 55 Grove St. (betw. 7th Ave. & Christopher St.), 212-366-5438; 8 & 10:30, $20 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat].
Jennifer Grimm pres. songs from her Christams Album. Cash only; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), RSVP 212-255-5438; 11, $15 & 2 drink min.
A Murray Hill Christmas When the weather outside is frightful, Dirty Martini, the World Famous *Bob*, the Wau-Wau Sisters & the Stiff Gimlets can warm you up; Cutting Room, 19 W. 24th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), RSVP 212-868-4444, www.smarttix.com; 8:30, $19.95. [repeats Sat. at 8:30 & 11].
Pants Wanna Rock Right Now Madame Funnypants, the sketch duo of Negin Farsad & Alexander Zalben, pres. hillarious & poignant comedy; the Tank, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; 9:30, $7.
Pink Rhino Revue Acrobats, sexy chorus girls (one for each finger...um...) & the best talent from Broadway to bohemia, incl. Angelo Iodice (Cirque Du Soleil), Lady Ace, Miss Tickle, and Miss Dita Von Teese; Show, 135 W. 41st St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-278-0988; 8:30, $25.
Wali Collins does stand-up w/Gregg Rogel & Tom Cotter; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30 & 10:30, $16 & 2 drink min.
Comedy
Komedy Kebob Come for the comedy, stay for the strippers; Pussycat Lounge, 96 Greenwich St. (Rector St.), 212-349-4800; 7:30.
The McKellog Report News you can't trust?at least they're honest about it. Reliably unpredictable improv comedy; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 9, $7.
Noo Yawk Tawk NY Times touted this improv team, "a superb multi-ethnic group"; Sofia's, 221 W. 46th St. (B'way), 212-719-5799; 11, $10.
Paula Poundstone Comedy diva pres. her "unauthorized autobiography"?sure to contain more info than you ever wanted to know!; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 7, $30, $25 adv.
$andy Kane's New York Blew Comedy Show Cable TV legend & comic stripper performs "I Love Dick," w/Seymour Swan & Ron Jackson; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 11:30, $10 & 2 drink min.
The Strange Box of Dr. Oddbody The Doc calls forth talks of revenge, dark desire, madness & horror from his Strange Box?odd indeed; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 10:30, $7.
3-Way Mexican Lei Try the Berkovits wit & the nachos grande. Floridian Duncan Jay & Long Islander Allegra Barnett also pres. stand-up; Maui Tacos, 330 5th Ave. (betw. 32nd & 33rd Sts.), 212-868-9720; 8, 6:30 sign-up, 1 item min.
William Stephenson pres. stand-upers Kurt Metzger, Ellen Cleghorn, Rick Mann, Vanessa Hollingshead & Cory Kahaney; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30, $17 & 2 drink min.
Dance
ThreeTwo Festival Tonight, see Concert I w/dancers moving between real & virtual (video) space, Concerts II & III on Sat. & Sun. at 8; Merce Cunningham Studio, 55 Bethune St. (Washington St.), 718-482-3512; 9, $15, $12 st.
SATURDAY 12/13
Cabaret
Glorya Wholesome's Living Legends Gil T. Pleasures roasts your chestnuts to DJ Grim's evil beats; Now Bar, 22 7th Ave. S. (Leroy St.), 212-293-0323; 10, $15-$20.
Judy Through the Holidays Tommy Femia brings you a Judy-licious Chrismas; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 11, $15 & 2 drink min.
The Karaoke Show The creators of "The Donkey Show" bring you their rendition of The Comedy of Errors. Feel free to rock the mic & grind after the show; China Club, 268 W. 47th St. (8th Ave.), 212-398-3800; 7, $35-55.
The One Madiva! No cash to see the real Madonna? See her favorite faux instead, along w/her "ravishing," "sinsational," "goddess" friends, feat. singer/songwriter Miss Glorya Wholesome; Now Bar, 22 7th Ave. S. (Leroy St.), 212-802-9502; 10 p.m.-4 a.m., $15-$20.
Sinatra Saturdays Cary Hoffman performs Sinatra classics w/the Stan Rubin Orchestra; Carnegie Club, 156 West 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-957-9676; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.
Comedy
Comedy Night Nuyorican Rule creator Angelo Lazada pres. different lineup of the best Latino comics every week; Club Rhumba, 396 E. Treemont Ave. (betw. Anthony & Carter Aves.), Bronx, 718-294-1100; 8, free .
Poole Party Ron Poole celebrates Nancy Witter's b'day w/Chuck Sweeney as Ms. Peggy Lee & Ann Scobie; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.
The Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Ophira pres. stand-up by Ritch Duncan, Larry Getlen, Nicole Korkolis & Todd Womack; East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), Carroll Gardens, 718-624-8878; 9:30, $5 & 2 drink min.
Comedy Soapbox pres. stand-up w/ Lynn Koplitz & Danny McDermott,; the Underground Lounge, 955 West End Ave. (107th St.), 212-531-4759; 10, $8.
Don Slovin's JamProv pres. his stand-up; Otto's Shrunken Head, 538 E. 14th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-228-2240; $5.
Gilligan's Island: the Lost Episodes Marc Adam Smith directs cast of castaways through totally unauthorized parody of the series, revealing secrets incl. how Mrs. Howell packed all her clothes for the three-hour tour; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 10:30, $10, $8 adv.
No Name & a Bag o' Chips The best damn comedy/variety show seeks to learn the meaning of... Chanukah?; Common Basis Theater, 750 8th Ave. (46th St.), 212-414-5420; 11:30.
Plants Need Water Emmy-award winning writer Jason Reich & Geoff Kirsch pres. random yet funny sketch; the Tank, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; 9:30, $10.
"The Tommy Koenig Show" Get your palm read & have a laugh w/psychic & a different set of stand-up comics every week; Dillons Restaurant & Bar, 245 W. 54th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-9797; 10, $10 & $10 min.
Dance
Alessandra Belloni & I Giullari di Piazza pres. Tarantelle & Canti D'Amore?healing trance dances, musical exorcisms, love songs, lullabies & prayers to the Black Madonna (Whitney?); Satalla, 37 W. 26th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-576-1155; 8 & 10, $20.
A Brooklyn Nutcracker Tchaikovsky comes to the 'hood for its 5th season?holiday classic set in contemporary Bklyn; Brooklyn Music School Playhouse, 126 St. Felix St. (betw. Lafayette Ave. & Hanson Pl.), Ft. Greene, 718-638-5660; 7:30, $20. $15 st. & under 18. [repeats Sun. at 3].
Dance Improv Kitchen curator Treva Offutt hosts non-competitive?yeah right!?interactive family event where kids & improv experts decide what happens on stage; Kitchen, 512 W. 19th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-255-5793; 2, $10.
Freeman Repertory Dance Co. pres. Places and People, music & dance representing indigenous cultures of Uyghur, India, USA, Japan, Sri Lanka, Uzbekistan, Tajikstan & Armenia; Lotus Fine Arts Center, 109 W. 27th St., 8th fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-627-1076; 7:30, $20, $15 adv. [repeats Sun. at 2].
Marie-Christine Giordano Dance Co. w/Kara Tatelbaum?highly anticipated continuation of the Draftwork series (those anticipating are all high); Danspace Project at St. Mark's Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-0910, RSVP 212-674-8194; 3, free.
SUNDAY 12/14
Cabaret
Big Spender & the Naughty 5 Make your waiters really work for their tips. They act, they sing & they dance, all for you; Marion's, 354 Bowery (betw. 3rd & 4th Sts.), 212-475-7621; 8:30, $3.
"A Little This & That" Alison Blanche Mayer revives 1951 variety show w/sketches, improv, shorts, song, and dance; RiFiFi, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-677-5368; 9, $5.
Mirage pres. glamour, glitz & tits! Incl. 2 drinks; the Marquee, 356 Bowery (betw. Great Jones & E. 4th Sts.), res. req. 212-475-1975; 8, $20.
Phenomenal Women Vocalist Capathia Jenkins & composer Louis Rosen pres. their newest collaborations feat. pianist Joseph Thalken; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 9:30, $20.
Sinema Sideshow Variety show feat. spoken word, grass-roots films & lyrical observations from Andrew J. Lederer?plus live sitcom, "The Talented Ten"; RiFiFi, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-677-5368; 7, $7, $5 adv.
Comedy
Mario Cantone Classic, unforgettable stand-up at Caroline's; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 8, $22.50 & 2 drink min. [repeats Mon. 7:30].
Kids 'N Comedy They may not be old enough to drink, but they're still funny.; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), res. req. 212-877-6115; 3 p.m., $15 & 1 drink min.
Rabbit Stand-up, open-mic feat. funny-bunny comics; Revival Lounge, 129 E. 15th St. (betw. Irving Pl. & 3rd Ave.), 212-253-8061; 8, free .
$andy Kane's N.Y. Blew Comedy Show Cable tv princess & comic stripper makes her tits light up to her hit, "I Love Dick!"?don't we all?!; The Lounge at Elmo, 156 7th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-242-0612; 9, free .
MONDAY 12/15
Cabaret
Monday Evening Burlesque Miss Saturn & Julie Atlas Muz lead classic, tassle-twirling fun; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), 718-782-5188; 9:30, free .
Live Jazz Nights feat. Mercy Monet performing classic & contemporary jazz. Mention NY Press for a 10% discount on food; Fuzion On A, 211 Ave. A (E. 13th St.), 212-533-5188; 6-9, $10 min.
Maritess combines dramatic dialogue w/live magic, mind reading & slight of hand. Prepare to have your mind boggled; Blue Velvet, 227 1st Ave. (betw. 13 & 14 Sts.), 212-260-9808; 7, $10 & 2 drink min.
Wintertime Peace Lady Geeta Citygirl pres. a mixture of theater, film, dance & comedy, incl. Brownstone, the tale of 3 "brown" actors struggling w/racial stereotyping; Salaam Theatre, 16 W. 32nd St, 10th Fl. (betw. Broadway & 5th Ave.), 212-330-8097; 7, $10.
Comedy
"Blue Mondays" Tony Woods pres. super stand-up from Todd Lynn, Dean Edwards, Steve Byrne, Kyle Grooms, Dawnel Rawlings, and Rondel Hartley; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:30, $5 & 1 drink min.
Colin Quinn pres. stand-up w/Jim Norton, Robert Kelly, Allan Havey, Godfrey & Sherrod Small; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min.
Eating It Janeane Garofalo pres. stand-up w/Allan Havey, Ed Helms, Jonathan Corbett & Gregg Proops; Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323; 8, $8 incl. free drink.
Stand-up feat. a different set of comics every week; HA! Comedy Club, 369 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th), 212-977-3884; 6:30. 7:30. 8:30, 9:30, 10:30, 11:30, 12:30, $15 & 2 drink min.
TUESDAY 12/16
Cabaret
A Christmas w/Family & Friends Singer Jennifer Grimm celebrates the release of her new CD w/some classic holiday tunes?cash only; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 11, $15.
Michael Feinstein This Grammy-nominee will enchant you w/his soothing piano renditions of jazz classics; Feinstein's at the Regency, 540 Park Ave. (61st St.), 212-339-4095; 8:30, $60 & $30 min.
Loving You Teri Lynn Paul pres. the stories & songs of Elvis Presley?cash only!; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 7, $15 & 2 drink min.
The Savage Breast Rock 'n' roll variety show feat. comedy, music & burlesque; the Hook, 18 Commerce St. (betw. Richards & Columbia Sts.), Red Hook, 718-797-3007; 10, $7.
Comedy
Look on the Bright Side Kimmy Gatewood performs her rock 'n' roll comedy album every week; the Tank, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; 9, $5.
Dance
Kurt Ralske & Chantal Yzermans pres. "Radical Low: 'RL.1'"?the furturistic name is indicative of the dance project's multimedia theme; Location One, 26 Greene St. (betw. Canal & Grand Sts.), 212-334-3347; 12-6, free .
THEATER
The Last Letter "A new play adapted and directed by Mr. Wiseman from Vasily Grossman's now classic novel of Russia during World War II"; Lucille Lortel Theatre, 121 Christopher St. (betw. Hudson & Bleecker Sts.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $60. [opens 12/18].
The Last Supper "Honest-to-God dinner theater" in the playwright's own pad; Ed Schmidt's Apartment, 154 W. 27th St., #4W (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 718-499-7758; Fri. & Sat. at 7, $50-$75. [opens 12/14].
Sholom Aleichem?Now You're Talking! "Humorist and icon of Jewish literature will once again entertain a new generation with Saul Reichlin's international hit"; DR2 Theatre, 103 E. 15th St. (Park Ave. S.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $36. [opens 12/14].
RECENTLY OPENED
Anna in the Tropics Jimmy Smits makes his B'way debut in Pulitzer-Prize winning play; Royale Theater, 242 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Wed.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Wed. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $81.25-$21.25..
As You Like It goes mod, literally, in this swinging-60s update; American Theatre of Actors, 314 W. 54th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-868-4444; call for times, $10-$15 [through 12/14].
Beckett/Albee Hear their monologues back to back & begin to wonder who plagarized whom; Century Center for the Performing Arts, 115 E. 15th St. (betw. Park & 3rd Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $65 [through 1/4].
Birdy A new play by Naomi Wallace, adapted from the novel by William Wharton (which the Nick Cage film was based on); The Women's Project Theatre, 424 W. 55th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $45 [through 1/11].
Carnival Knowledge "A gasp-inducing journey into the subculture of circus and sideshow"; Soho Playhouse, 15 Vandam St. (6th Ave.), 212-691-1555; Thurs. & Fri. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $35-$45..
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Starring Ashley Judd, Jason Patric & Ned Beatty; Music Box Theatre, 239 W. 45th St. (6th Ave.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $86.25-$66.25..
The Chalk Garden Play by Enid Bagnold made into film starring Hayley Mills; Center Stage, 48 W. 21st St., 4th fl. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves), 718-274-7966; Wed.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $10..
Charles Phoenix's God Bless Americana: The Retro Holiday Slide Show "Celebrate the holidays like you never have before: with other people's amazing old Kodachrome slides of their best New Year's Eves, Halloweens, Thanksgivings, and of course, Christmas days"; Pyramid Club, 101 Ave. A (6th St.), 212-228-4888; call for times, $17-$20 [through 12/25].
Christmas Revels "Celebration of winter solstice transports audiences to the Florence of Leonardo Da Vinci" (American Sign Language Performance Sun. at 2); Leonard Nimoy Thalia, Peter Norton Symphony Space, 2537 B'way (95th St.), 212-864-5400; call for times, $21-$42 [through 12/14].
Christmas with Tommy Makem "joyous blend of festive holiday songs, poems and stories, including a reading of Dylan Thomas' A Child's Christmas in Wales"; Irish Repertory Theatre, 132 W. 22 St. (6th Ave.), 212-727-2737; call for times & prices [through 12/28].
Diss Diss and Diss Dat "A new hiphop musical based on the music of the Funke Natives, well-known Harlem rappers of the late 80s and early 90s"; Henry St. Settlement Abrons Arts Center, 466 Grand St. (Pitt St.), 212-598-0400; Wed.-Fri. at 7:30, Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30 [through 12/28].
Eat Fest: Fall 2003 "Ambitious, short-play festival"; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-206-1515; call for times & prices [through 1/4].
An Evening w/Johnny Valiant Two-time World Wide Wrestling Federation champion in monologue about life on the mat; Theater for the New City, 155 1st Ave. (betw. 9th & 10th Sts.), 212-254-1109; Sat. at 10, call for price..
The Exonerated Four real-life, former death-row inmates who were eventually acquited portray themselves for one week in long-runnng, off-B'way play; 45 Bleecker St., 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; call for times & prices..
Fathers and Sons Based on the novel by Ivan Turgenev; Florence Gould Hall, French Institute, 55 E. 59th St. (betw. Madison & Park Aves.), 212-355-6160; Sat. & Mon. at 7:30, mat. Sun. at 2, $20 [through 12/15].
The Good Faith: 1940-1990 "Musical drama of good intentions, betrayal & misplaced devotion among Jehovah's Witnesses"; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-475-7710; call for times, $15 [through 12/28].
Holiday From the author of The Philadelphia Story; Gallery Players, 199 14th St. (betw. 4th & 5th Aves.), Park Slope, 718-595-0547; call for times, $15, $12 st./s.c [through 12/28].
Hoopla, Such Is Life "Theater and music in roaring-twenties Berlin"; Center for Jewish History, 15 W. 16th St. (5th Ave.), 212-294-8301; Wed. at 7..
The Lark "In this classic drama, which is surprisingly humorous, this fabled telling by Jean Anouilh about the life and legend of Joan of Arc is literally dramatized in front of Joan's persecutors"; Sanford Meisner Theater, 164 11th Ave. (betw. 22nd & 23rd Sts.), 212-543-9662; Wed.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $25 [through 1/4].
Life Interrupted Spalding Gray's latest work-in-progress; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; Sun. & Mon. at 7:30, $20 [through 1/12].
Lilia! Libby Skala plays her grandmother, a Hitler refugee turned zipper factory employee turned Broadway star; Eagles Dare Theatre, 347 W. 36th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; Mon. & Tues. at 7, $20 [through 1/6].
Mahler: the Man Who Was Never Born "A stranger from another universe...a troubled young man...and a beautiful woman seer will embark upon a journey to change the course of history, but the history of which world"?just a wee bit over our heads; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; call for times, $15-$20 [through 1/4].
Matt & Ben "What if the only thing standing between you and destiny was Ben Affleck?"; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; call for times, $22.50..
Moo! The Twisted Tale of Dinky Farms "Animal Farm meets 'Looney Tunes'"; Manhattan Theatre Source, 177 MacDougal St. (W. 8th St.), 212-501-4751; Wed.-Sat. at 8, $15 [through 12/13].
My Big Gay Italian Wedding Needless to say, the plot revolves around a few obstacles to a traditional Catholic affair...; Actor's Playhouse, 100 7th Ave. S. (betw. Bleecker & Christopher Sts.), 212-239-6200; Fri. at 10, mat. Sat. at 3, $40..
No Exodus "A barefoot and stuttering Shepard is approached by God and asked to go back to Egypt to confront the powerful Pharaoh. Armed with little more than a phrase, 'I am that I am,' he unhappily obliges"; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-206-1515; call for times & prices [through 12/20].
The Nuclear Family You decide which family member each of these three men portray, they make up the songs; Zipper Theater, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $20..
Precious "is a raucous comedy about the friendship between 17 year-old girls Maxine Weinstein, a transplanted New Yorker, and Precious, an eccentric debutante in Dallas, Texas"; Common Basis Theater, 750 8th Ave. (46th St.), 212-868-4444; call for times & prices [through 12/14].
The Rivals Richard Brinsley Sheridan's 18th century farce; Theatre 80, 80 St. Mark's Pl. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-598-9802; call for times & prices [through 12/21].
Roadhouse: The Stage Version of the Cinema Classic that Starred Patrick Swayze, Except This One Stars Taimak from the 80s Cult Classic The Last Dragon Wearing a Blonde Mullet Wig It seems obvious there is only one, or rather two, things to add: Who will replace Jeff Healey & Sam Elliott; Clemente Soto Velez Cultural Center, 107 Suffolk St. (betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts.), 718-637-3527; call for times & prices [through 12/20].
A Rockette's Tail Just in time for the holidays, but leave the kiddies at home; Eagles Dare Theatre, 347 W. 36th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7, $20 [through 1/18].
Russian Strip Set in 1950s-era Soviet Union, plays in conjunction w/An American Heart (about "Jebediah Hankering, an aging, alcohol-swilling reprobate, ensconced in a medical center by his self-righteous sister"; Wings Theatre, 154 Christopher St. (Washington St.), 212-502-0318; Mon. & Tues. at 8, $19 [through 1/6].
Taboo Boy George & Rosie O'Donnell pull a Thelma & Louise...but will someone yell "cut" before they go over the edge?; Plymouth Theater, 236 W. 45th St. (6th Ave.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $80-$100..
Tales from the Manhattan Woods New musical based on Die Fledermaus; Wings Theatre, 154 Christopher St. (Washington St.), 212-502-0318; call for times, $24.50-$37.50 [through 1/17].
Tape "pits two best friends against each other when one tries to get the other to reveal that he date raped a girl they both went out with in high school ten years before"; The Flatiron Playhouse, 119 W. 23rd St. (6th Ave.), 212-868-4444; call for times, $15 [through 1/3].
Terrotica: An Erotic Nightmare "is about the link between fear and arousal"; Ohio Theater, 66 Wooster St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts), 212-966-4844 or 212-358-3657; Wed.-Sat. at 8, $15-$20 [through 12/13].
Under Milk Wood Dylan "do not go gentle" Thomas' lyrical drama; Theatre 3, 311 W. 43rd St. (8th Ave.), 212-868-4444; Wed.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15-$50 [through 12/21].
What's Your Karma? English clairvoyant Lilith Dove selects audience members at random (via raffle) to reveal their past lives & "hidden talents"; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; call for times, $35 [through 1/23].
Wicked New musical inspired by the novel inspired by the novel/movie The Wizard of Oz (& starring Joel Grey); Gershwin Theatre, 222 W. 51st St. (6th Ave.), 212-307-4100; call for times, $40-$100..