WEDNESDAY 1/21 WEDNESDAY 1/21 Cabaret Elvis ...
Cabaret
Elvis Has Entered the Building! See dead-on impersonator of the side-burned king of rock 'n roll, occasionally all jazzed up in glitter & gold; Trailer Park Lounge, 271 W. 23rd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-463-8000; 8:30, free .
Comedy
Boxed Laughter Stand-up comedy solves all your problems w/laughter; Jack Dempsey's Pub, 36 W. 33rd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-629-9899; 8, $5 & 1 drink min.
Comedy Therapy Maureen Marren cures you w/laughs from nationally known comics; Otto's Shrunken Head, 538 E. 14th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-228-2240; 10, free .
Invite Them Up Original stand-up hosted by Eugene Mirman & Bobby Tisdale; RiFiFi, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-677-5368; 8, $5 sugg. don.
Colin Quinn Funny man performs stand-up w/Adam Ferrara, Mitch Fatel, Godfrey & Greg Giraldo; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-348, www.comedycellar.com; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 9 & 11, Fri. at 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., Sat. at 7:30, 9:15, 11 & 12:45 a.m.].
The Rejection Show Bob Wiltfong ( The Daily Show) joins this monthly staple, built around comic bits & cartoons rejected by everyone from SNL to The New Yorker; the Tank, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; 8, $5.
Joan Rivers Vulgar funny lady delivers "raunchy, politically incorrect evening" of stand-up?proceeds benefit God's Love We Deliver & Guide Dogs For the Blind; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 8, $25.
Stand-up Every hour, on the hour, for five hours hear the best from a weekly rotation of comics; HA! Comedy Club, 369 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th), 212-977-3884; 6:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m., $7-$15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs.-Tues.].
Dance
"Journey to Gold Mountain" H.T. Chen & Dancers pres. the untold stories of the Chinese experience in America; Mulberry Street Theater, 70 Mulberry St. (Bayard St.), 212-349-0438; 10:30 a.m., $10, $5 st./s.c [repeats Fri. & Tues.].
THURSDAY 1/22
Cabaret
Heeb Storytelling Eric Drysdale (The Daily Show) hosts production described as "part cabaret, part Catskills," feat. Lee Gutkind & Mark Katz; Lansky Lounge & Grill, 104 Norfolk St. (betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts.), 212-677-9489; 8, $5.
Starshine Burlesque Master Jack Fetterman & the Meat Mistress join Dirty Martini & Eva Svensson; RiFiFi, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-677-5368; 10, $5.
Comedy
Automatic Vaudeville Weekly comedy/variety show w/Hilly & Gavin Souchet; Ars Nova, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-981-9722; 10, $5.
Mario Cantone Funny stand-up from Sex and the City comedian; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 8, $26.50-$28.50 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 8 & 10:30, Sun. at 8].
Comedy Hang Suite Ardie Fuque hosts hip, downtown stand-up showcase feat. fast-rising comedians incl. DC Benny, Donnell Rawlings, Godfrey & Bill Burr; Cutting Room, 19 W. 24th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-691-1900; 11, $8.
Comedy Soapbox Danny McDermott, Lenny Marcus & Rusty Ward join others up on the stand-up soapbox; Nevada Smith's, 74 3rd Ave. (betw. 11th & 12th Sts.), 212-982-2591; 9, $10.
T.K. Kirkland Stand-up from comic previously seen on ComicView & Def Comedy Jam; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 10, $19.50-$22.50 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. at 8 & 12:30 a.m., Sat. at 12:30 a.m., Sun. at 10].
Put It In You! The Sex Ed Musical Julie Brister & Gideon Evans show you what happens when "two dorky middle school music teachers are forced to teach sex ed"; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves), 212-366-9176; 8, $5.
"Revolutionary Chickens" Rob Lok's one-man comic take on his family's experiences escaping communist China; Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Aves.), 212-740-6022; 8, $10.
Thursday Night Comedy Show Hogwild hosts a set of new comics each week; Hiroko's Place, 75 Thompson St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts.), 212-625-1303; 8, 1 item min.
Uncensored Comedy Greg Wilson pres. great line-up of comedians, incl. Dustin Chafin, Laura Levites, Katy Olsen & Kareem Green; Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-260-7993; 9 & 11, $4 & 1 drink min. [repeats Fri. at 11:30, Sat. at 8:30, Mon. & Tues. at 9:30].
Dance
City/Dans: K.J. Holmes & Bebe Miller Co. pres. "Salvage" & "Landing Space" respectively; Danspace Project at St. Mark's Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-0910, RSVP 212-674-8194; 8:30, $15 [repeats Fri.-Sun.].
"dAMNATION rOAD" First evening-length program from caps lock king, Miguel Gutierrez & the Powerful People; Kitchen, 512 W. 19th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-255-5793; 8, $20 [repeats Fri.-Sat. & Tues.].
"House of No More" Caden Manson's "theater of images for the new century is born: rapid, without concessions, violent & consuming itself at 100 miles an hour"; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; 8:30, $17 [repeats Fri.-Sat. at 8:30, Sun. at 5].
FRIDAY 1/23
Cabaret
The Bindlestiff Family Cirkus Winter Cabaret Winter line-uo of eclectic troupe of vaudeville virtuosos, feat. talented members of Ringling Bros. & Cirque du Soleil; Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Aves.), 877-246-3537; 11, $15 [repeats Sat., through 2/28].
Floating Vaudeville Night Von Von Von hosts tango-trapezeing, rowdy, raunchy fun feat. delicious acts from Racoco & the It Girls?"ya gonna luv it"; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), 718-782-5188; 10 p.m.-1 a.m., $5.
The Karaoke Show The Donkey Show creators bring you their rendition of The Comedy of Errors?feel free to rock the mic or grind after the show; China Club, 268 W. 47th St. (8th Ave.), 212-398-3800; 7, $35-$55 [repeats Sat.].
Comedy
Comedy Soap Box Stand-up w/some of NYC's funniest, incl. Kerri Louise, Dante Nero & Liam McEneaney?repeats Saturday w/different line-up; the Underground Lounge, 955 West End Ave. (107th St.), 212-531-4759; 10, $8.
Sue Costello performs alongside Steve Marshall & Walli Collins; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9 & 10, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 8, 10 & 12:30 a.m.].
Gilligan's Island: the Lost Episodes Marc Adam Smith directs cast of castaways through totally unauthorized parody of the series, revealing secrets incl. how Mrs. Howell packed all her clothes for the three-hour tour; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7:30, $10, $8 adv.
Komedy Kebob Tim Brennan & Pat Rigby host live comedy in da burg?if you still dare go; Bar 107, 107 N. 6th St. (betw. Berry & Wythe Sts.), Williamsburg, 718-302-3313; 8:30, free .
The McKellog Report Billed as "News You Can't Trust," this improv show skewers the news media ; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 9, $7.
No Relation Comedy Show Hosts Anthony & Joe DeVito bring NY club comedians & alternative comics to the Pub; Jack Dempsey's Pub, 36 W. 33rd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-629-9899; 9, free .
Off the Top of Our Heads Fast-paced, short-form improv from one of the city's best groups; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7, $7 [repeats Sat. at 7].
"Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You" Improv/sketch comedy in "talk show" format explores the subject of "obsessions & deep-down hidden feelings"; the Sage Theater, 711 7th Ave. (48th St.), 212-382-8818; 10, $8, $6 st./s.c.
Sweet Paprika Weekly comedy show w/special guests; Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-260-7993; 8:30, $5.
3-Way Mexican Lei Try the Berkovits wit & the nachos grande?also, stand-up from Floridian Duncan Jay & Long Islander Allegra Barnett; Maui Tacos, 330 5th Ave. (betw. 32nd & 33rd Sts.), 212-868-9720; 8, 6:30 sign-up, 1 item min.
Dance
"Blue Triangle" New choreography from Sue Bernhard & Maggie Gillis; Merce Cunningham Studio, 55 Bethune St. (Washington St.), 718-482-3512; 9, $12 [repeats Sat. at 8 & Sun. at 7:30].
Division 13 Productions w/Hoffbauer/Sanchez Works & Antonio Ramos?see www.bax.org for info; Brooklyn Arts Exchange, 421 5th Ave. (betw. 7th & 8th Sts.), Bklyn, 718-832-0018; 8, $15 [repeats Sat.].
Carlos Hayre Peruvian Guitar Legend Carlos Hayre performs w/his band of musicians & dancers in "Global Beat of the Boroughs 2: Peru & Colombia"; Leonard Nimoy Thalia, Peter Norton Symphony Space, 2537 B'way (95th St.), 212-864-5400; 8, $26, $21 st./s.c.
Kids Cafe Festival 2004 pres. opening night benefits?festival continues Saturday & Sunday w/swing dance celebrations, feat. over 150 young performers (3 p.m.); Brooklyn Music School Playhouse, 126 St. Felix St. (betw. Lafayette Ave. & Hanson Pl.), Ft. Greene, 718-638-5660; 7, call for prices.
SATURDAY 1/24
Cabaret
Judy Garland Live! Dead-on impersonation of the famed singer by Tommy Femia, w/ musical direction from David Maiocco; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 11, $15 & 2 drink min.
Le Scandal Striptease, magic & sideshow acts put "downtown edge & dash of Coney Island" on nouveau burlesque & vaudeville show; Cutting Room, 19 W. 24th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-691-1900; 10, $20.
Sinatra Saturdays Cary Hoffman performs Sinatra classics w/the Stan Rubin Orchestra; Carnegie Club, 156 West 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-957-9676; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.
Winter Follies Third-annual "Local Produce" pres. mixed salad of five-minute performance pieces; Spoke the Hub Re:Creation Center, 748 Union St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), Park Slope, 718-857-5158; 8, $15, $5 s.c./child. [repeats Sun. at 5].
Comedy
The Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Larry Getlen emcees stand-up by Susan Prekel, Nicole Korkolis, Liz Laufer & Bryan Olsen; Boudoir Bar at East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), Carroll Gardens, 718-624-8878; 9:30, $5 & 2 drink min.
Ray Ellin emcees stand-up from Kerry McNally, Tim Young, Johnny Lampert, Cory Kahaney, Ellen Cleghorn & JJ Ramirez; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 6, 8, 10:15 & 12.30 a.m., $17 & $12 min.
No Name & a Bag o' Chips "NYC's best damn comedy/variety show" gives away free bags of chips, raffles off door prizes & tells a lot of jokes; Common Basis Theater, 750 8th Ave. (46th St.), 212-414-5420; 11:30, free .
POD v2.4 See how low you can go, at long-form improv show, Mission: L.I.M.B.O., feat. Brad Barton, Lulu French & special guests; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 9, $7.
Poole Party! Ron Poole hosts comedy/variety show feat. stand-up & musical comedy from Maryanne Murray, Marci Lacenere, Liz Lark Brown, Amy Wolf, Vijai Nathan, Lisa Nunn, Nancy Witter & Sidney Myer; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.
"Rock 2: The New Rock Albers Show" MAC award-winner returns w/musical parodies of James Bond, Britney Spears, The Golden Girls & Oklahoma?the state?performed in a Brooks Brothers suit, paired w/fuzzy pink bunny ears; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 5, $10 & 2 drink min. [through 1/31].
Dance
"Double Feature" Susan Stroman's first full-length ballet; NY State Theater, 20 Lincoln Center, B'way (64th St.), 212-870-5570, tkts 212-307-7171; 2 & 8 [repeats Sun. at 3 & Tues. at 7:30].
Lunar New Year Festival of Chinese dance, music & Peking Opera feat. the Chinese Folk Dance Co. of all people; Jack H. Skirball Center for the Performing Arts, 566 LaGuardia Pl. (Washington Sq. S.), 212-992-8484; 2 & 7:30, $25 [repeats Sun. at 2].
SUNDAY 1/25
Cabaret
Cher: Four Decades Since the niped & tucked singer has retired, Devon Cass fills her shoes?singing everything from "I've Got you Babe" to "Believe"; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 8, $20.
Comedy
Gotham City improv Shampoo Rinse Repeat, Crux, How Bazaar & pembo! groups in two-hour improv show; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7:30, $5.
Gotham City Sketch Ensemble New sketch comedy show; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 9:30, $5.
Kids 'N Comedy They may not be old enough to drink, but these funny kids still warrant a drink minimum; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-877-6115 res. req.; 3 p.m., $15 & 1 drink min.
This and That Improv, music & stand-up are on tap in a "dirty 1950s variety show," hosted by Alison Blanche Mayer; RiFiFi, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-677-5368; 9, $5 sugg. don.
Dance
Royal Danish Ballet The Royal Danish has returned to Brooklyn?& we don't mean the White Castle breakfast special?still soaring like a Jon Dahl Tomasson free kick, since 1722; Brooklyn Center for the Performing Arts, Brooklyn College, Campus Rd. (Flatbush Ave.), Bklyn, 718-951-4500; 2, $35.
MONDAY 1/26
Cabaret
Jackie Hoffman kvetches alongside pianist Dave Brunetti, under the direction of Michael Schiralli, who directs the complaints; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 7:30, $20.
Monday Evening Burlesque Classic, tassle-twirling fun & gets naughty in the front room; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), 718-782-5188; 9:30, free .
Comedy
"Blue Mondays" Tony Woods pres. super stand-up from Todd Lynn, Dean Edwards, Steve Byrne, Kyle Grooms, Dawnel Rawlings & Rondel Hartley; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:30, $5 & 1 drink min.
Eating It Marc Maron hosts alternative comedy show feat. Bill Burr, Steve Byrne & Shauna Lane; Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323; 8:30, $8 incl. free drink.
Three's Company II Veteran actors recreate two episodes from the classic sitcom, Three's Company?who will collect the rent, Mr. Roper or Mr. Furley?; Freddy's Backroom, 485 Dean St. (6th Ave.), Bklyn, 718-622-7035; 9:30, free .
Dance
Movement Research pres. Chrysa "Teenwolf" Parkinson, Mark "hipsters get off at" Lorimer, Pedro "Big Baby Jesus" Osorio & Bryan "the Yiddish word for head is" Kepple?we may have taken some liberties w/the names...; Judson Memorial Church, 55 Washington Sq. S. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-0351; 8, free .
TUESDAY 1/27
Comedy
Funny Film Shorts Screening of shorts submitted by comics & filmmakers; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 7, $12 & 2 drink min.
Dance
Buglisi/Foreman Dance grills up a night w/choral & string accompaniment; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (19th St.), 212-242-0800; 7, $38.
THEATER
Abundance "was created by Marty Pottenger through three years of interviews with multi-millionares and minimum-wage workers across the United States"; Dance Theater Workshop, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; Weds.-Sat. at 7, mat. Sat. at 2, $25 [through 1/24].
Anna in the Tropics Jimmy Smits makes his Broadway debut in Pulitzer-Prize winning play; Royale Theater, 242 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $21.25-$81.25.
The Architecture of Loss Man returns to family he abandoned to find radical changes; New York Theatre Workshop, 83 E. 4th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-460-5475; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 7:30, mats Sat. & Sun. at 1:30, $20.
Aunt Dan and Lemon Wallace Shawn, star of Princess Bride, co-author of My Dinner with Andre & son of famed New Yorker editor William Shawn, offers new production of his "political horror story"; Kirk Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; call for times, $50 [through 1/31].
Banjee "Two Latin hustlers and their girlfriends"; Wings Theatre, 154 Christopher St. (Washington St.), 212-502-0318; Thurs.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $19.
Beckett/Albee Hear their monologues back to back & begin to wonder who plagarized whom; Century Center for the Performing Arts, 115 E. 15th St. (betw. Park & 3rd Aves.), 800-490-1175; call for times, $65.
Birdy A new play by Naomi Wallace, adapted from the novel by William Wharton (which the Nick Cage film was based on); the Women's Project Theatre, 424 W. 55th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $45 [through 2/8].
Carnival Knowledge "A gasp-inducing journey into the subculture of circus and sideshow"; Soho Playhouse, 15 Vandam St. (6th Ave.), 212-691-1555; Thurs. & Fri. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $35-$45.
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Starring Ashley Judd, Jason Patric & Ned Beatty; Music Box Theatre, 239 W. 45th St. (6th Ave.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $86.25-$66.25.
The Changeling Children's Theatre troupe puts on Harry Potter backlash play, about "an awkward fairy child who can't seem to fit in among the creatures of Fairyland. But when he's left behind in the human world, Alfred gets a chance to prove his worth and find a home at last"; Vital Theatre Co., 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-592-0129; mats. Sat. & Sun. at 1 & 3, $14 [through 2/15].
Charles Phoenix's God Bless Americana: The Retro Holiday Slide Show "Celebrate the holidays like you never have before: with other people's amazing old Kodachrome slides of their best New Year's Eves, Halloweens, Thanksgivings, and of course, Christmas days"; Pyramid Club, 101 Ave. A (6th St.), 212-228-4888; call for times, $17-$20 [through 1/22].
Christmas with Tommy Makem "joyous blend of festive holiday songs, poems and stories, including a reading of Dylan Thomas' A Child's Christmas in Wales"; Irish Repertory Theatre, 132 W. 22 St. (6th Ave.), 212-727-2737; call for times & prices [through 1/25].
Crown Heights "Inspired by the still unresolved events of 1991 in the neighborhood that became synonymous w/racial strife"; All Stars Project, 543 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-941-1234; call for times, $25-$35 [through 3/7].
Demon Baby "An American couple move to London for his work where she knows few people and misses home...a lot. While he's away she is spurred to extreme and peculiar behavior by her anxiety?which shows up, sits on her chest and gives devilish advice"; Ohio Theater, 66 Wooster St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts.), 212-966-4844, 212-358-3657; call for times, $15, $10 st. [through 1/31].
Diss Diss and Diss Dat "A new hiphop musical based on the music of the Funke Natives, well-known Harlem rappers of the late 80s and early 90s"; Henry St. Settlement Abrons Arts Center, 466 Grand St. (Pitt St.), 212-598-0400; Weds.-Fri. at 7:30, Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30 [through 1/25].
Dolphin Up a Tree Children's musical feat. Tina Talkington, who turns herself into many things incl. a dolphin & a tree; 78th Street Theater Lab, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-873-9050; Sun. at 11 a.m., $12.95 [through 4/8].
The Duchess of Malfi Always reminds one of that English class in college where your gay-male peer grabbed your face & kissed you open-mouthed to "prove a point about the text"...a remark that nobody, incl. the professor, understood?right, girls?; St. Peter's Church, 346 W. 20th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-691-6263; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15 [through 1/24].
Eat Fest: Fall 2003 "Ambitious, short-play festival"; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-206-1515; call for times & prices [through 2/1].
Golda's Balcony Tova Feldshuh portrays "the rise of Golda Meir from impoverished Russian schoolgirl to prime minister"; Helen Hayes Theatre, 240 W. 44th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times & prices.
The Good Faith: 1940-1990 "Musical drama of good intentions, betrayal & misplaced devotion among Jehovah's Witnesses"; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-475-7710; call for times, $15 [through 1/25].
Gutenberg: The Musical! "The true story of Johann Gutenberg?the man who invented the printing press" (shit, we thought this was about Police Academy cadet, Steve); Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves), 212-366-9176; Weds. at 8 [through 2/25].
Holiday From the author of The Philadelphia Story; Gallery Players, 199 14th St. (betw. 4th & 5th Aves.), Park Slope, 718-595-0547; call for times, $15, $12 st./s.c. [through 1/25].
The Hunger Waltz Woman finds out how she would fare in the 18th, 20th & 22nd centuries w/same set of dilemmas (and no, none of them involve food); M.E.T., 55 Mercer St. (Broome St.), 212-239-6200; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 2, $15 [through 1/25].
Instructions for Forgetting "Somewhere between a performance and an idiosyncratic lecture, this unusual piece interweaves original text with found video, letters, interviews, and tapes from friends alongside recordings of world events"; Theater for the New City, 155 1st Ave. (betw. 9th & 10th Sts.), 212-254-1109; call for times, $20 [through 1/25].
King Cowboy Rufus Rules the Universe "evokes a nightmare world in which an imitation of George Bush finds himself attacked by bears, babies & statues of the dead. Turning away from romance, he lunges toward the eroticized terror of an unknowable future"; the Ontological Theatre, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-533-4650; Thurs.-Sun. & Tues. at 8, $15-$25.
The Lark "In this classic drama, which is surprisingly humorous, this fabled telling by Jean Anouilh about the life and legend of Joan of Arc is literally dramatized in front of Joan's persecutors"; Sanford Meisner Theater, 164 11th Ave. (betw. 22nd & 23rd Sts.), 212-543-9662; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $25 [through 2/1].
Life Interrupted Spalding Gray's latest work-in-progress; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; Sun. & Mon. at 7:30, $20 [through 2/9].
Lilia! Libby Skala plays her grandmother, a Hitler refugee turned zipper factory employee turned Broadway star; Eagles Dare Theatre, 347 W. 36th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; Mon. & Tues. at 7, $20 [through 2/3].
Little Pitfall "A dark comedy set in a mythical Czech forest about two sisters...and the sexual favors of a young ranger"; Theatre 54, 244-250 W. 54th St. (B'way) Weds.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $20, $16 st./s.c. [through 2/8].
Madama Fortuna "If you enjoy the show it is because I have been a kind and generous performer. And if you do not, it is entirely your fault"; Dixon Place at Chashama, 111 W. 42nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-219-0736; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 5, $10-$15.
Mahler: the Man Who Was Never Born "A stranger from another universe...a troubled young man...and a beautiful woman seer will embark upon a journey to change the course of history, but the history of which world"?just a wee bit over our heads; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; call for times, $15-$20 [through 2/1].
Matt & Ben "What if the only thing standing between you and destiny was Ben Affleck?"; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; call for times, $22.50.
Menopause The Musical "is the parody that chronicles the meeting of four women at a lingerie sale in Bloomingdale's fighting over a black lace bra with nothing in common but memory loss, hot flashes, night sweats, chocolate binges, wrinkles, plastic surgery, hormones, not enough sex, too much sex, and much more"; Playhouse 91, 316 E. 91st St. (2nd Ave.), 212-307-4100; call for times & prices.
Mercury: The Afterlife and Times of a Rock God One-man show all about everyone's favorite Queen, Freddy Mercury; the Triad, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), 212-362-2590; Sun. at 7, $30.
The Mikado w/the New York Gilbert & Sullivan Players; City Center, 131 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; call for times & prices [through 1/25].
Moms "Veteran stage and television actress Clarice Taylor is resurrecting America's first female stand-up comedienne, Jackie "Moms" Mabley, for the off-Broadway stage"; Kirk Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; call for times & prices.
Moo! The Twisted Tale of Dinky Farms "Animal Farm meets 'Looney Tunes'"; Manhattan Theatre Source, 177 MacDougal St. (W. 8th St.), 212-501-4751; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15.
The Musical of Musicals?The Musical! "In a comic satire of musical theater genres, one story becomes five musicals, each in the distinctive style of a different master of the form, from Rodgers and Hammerstein to Stephen Sondheim"; St. Peter's Church, 619 Lexington Ave. (54th St.), 212-935-2200; call for times, $20-$50 [through 2/8].
My Big Gay Italian Wedding Needless to say, the plot revolves around a few obstacles to a traditional Catholic affair...; Actor's Playhouse, 100 7th Ave. S. (betw. Bleecker & Christopher Sts.), 212-239-6200; Fri. at 10, mat. Sat. at 3, $40 [through 2/28].
No Exodus "A barefoot and stuttering Shepard is approached by God and asked to go back to Egypt to confront the powerful Pharaoh. Armed with little more than a phrase, 'I am that I am,' he unhappily obliges"; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-206-1515; call for times & prices.
The Nuclear Family You decide which family member each of these three men portray, they make up the songs; Zipper Theater, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $20 [through 10/31].
Nymph Errant "Cole Porter's own favorite among his many musicals"; Medicine Show, 549 W. 52nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-262-4216; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 4, $20, $15 st./s.c [through 2/15].
Radiohole Is Still My Name "Radiohole and their half-brother Joe 'Shoot 'Em Up' Silovsky are up to their old tricks in this spaghetti docu-drama guest-starring Guy Debord"; Bucky's Fijian Lounge, 146 Metropolitan Ave. (Wythe Ave.), Williamsburg, 718-388-2251; call for times, $10 [through 1/31].
A Rockette's Tail Just in time for the holidays, but leave the kiddies at home; Eagles Dare Theatre, 347 W. 36th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7, $20 [through 2/15].
Russian Strip Set in 1950s-era Soviet Union, about "Jebediah Hankering, an aging, alcohol-swilling reprobate, ensconced in a medical center by his self-righteous sister"?plays in conjunction w/An American Heart; Wings Theatre, 154 Christopher St. (Washington St.), 212-502-0318; Mon. & Tues. at 8, $19 [through 2/3].
Sholom Aleichem?Now You're Talking! "Humorist and icon of Jewish literature will once again entertain a new generation with Saul Reichlin, international hit"; DR2 Theatre, 103 E. 15th St. (Park Ave. S.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $36 [through 2/1].
Sleepless Fishes "An elctro-accordian, pirate-puppet sea odyssey"?what, no shanties?; Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery (betw. Bleecker & Houston Sts.), 212-614-0505; Fri. at 10, $7 [through 2/20].
Stampede Theatre Festival "Month-long, midtown staging of new works is downtown in spirit"; Trilogy Theater, 341 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-316-0400; call for times & prices [through 2/8].
Tangomania "A tango love triangle in music, song and dance"; Thalia Spanish Theatre, 41-17 Greenpoint Ave. (betw. 41st & 42nd Sts.), Sunnyside, 718-729-3880; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 4, $25-$30 [through 3/28].
Tape "pits two best friends against each other when one tries to get the other to reveal that he date raped a girl they both went out with in high school ten years before"; the Flatiron Playhouse, 119 W. 23rd St. (6th Ave.), 212-868-4444; call for times, $15 [through 1/31].
These Very Serious Jokes "is the phrase Goethe used to describe his masterpiece, just before he died"; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; Weds.-Sun. & Tues. at 7, mat. Sat. at 2, $15 [through 1/24].
Three Sisters by Anton Chekhov; Manhattan Theatre Source, 177 MacDougal St. (W. 8th St.), 212-501-4751; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15 [through 1/24].
Valhalla I am coming..."a comic and affecting look at two desperate and passionate individuals both searching for a life of operatic beauty" by Paul Rudnick; New York Theatre Workshop, 79 E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $20, $15 st.
Weights "Lynn Manning tells how he turned 'from a black man into a blind man'"; Urban Stage, 259 W. 30th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, call for prices [through 2/1].
What's Your Karma? English clairvoyant Lilith Dove selects audience members at random (via raffle) to reveal their past lives & "hidden talents"; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; call for times, $35 [through 2/20].
Who is Sarah Davis? "As the AIDS virus spreads during the 80s, an African-American family is confronted as the disease hits home"?proceeds to benefit HIV/AIDS research; The Harlem Theatre Company, 473 W. 150th St. (betw. Amsterdam & Convent Aves.), 718-670-3643; call for times, $20 [through 2/1].
Who Killed Woody Allen Drew & loads of Woody's exes have schlepped downtown to see it behind his back?why not you?; the Triad, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), 212-362-2590; call for times & prices [through 3/6].
Wicked New musical inspired by the novel inspired by the novel/movie The Wizard of Oz (& starring Joel Grey); Gershwin Theatre, 222 W. 51st St. (6th Ave.), 212-307-4100; call for times, $40-$100.
Women on Fire Starring Judith Ivey; Cherry Lane Theater, 38 Commerce St. (Bleecker St.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $35 [through 2/8].