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WEDNESDAY 1/14 WEDNESDAY 1/14 Cabaret Elvis ...

| 16 Feb 2015 | 06:33

    FACE="New York" SIZE=5>

    WEDNESDAY 1/14

    Cabaret

    Elvis Has Entered the Building! See dead-on impersonator of the side-burned king of rock 'n roll, occasionally all jazzed up in glitter & gold; Trailer Park Lounge, 271 W. 23rd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-463-8000; 8:30, free .

    Lucky Stiff "sucks you into a netherworld where you will be seduced by clowns & sexy sword swallowing strippers"?better leave the kids at home; Pussycat Lounge, 96 Greenwich St. (Rector St.), 212-349-4800; 9, $11.

    Norman's Big Night Out Norman Gosney pres. vaudeville reminiscent of Moulin Rouge (minus Nicole Kidman)?feat. singers, dancers, comedians, acrobats, jugglers & fire workers; Show, 135 W. 41st St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-278-0988; 9:30, $25.

    Comedy

    Boxed Laughter Stand-up comedy solves all your problems w/laughter; Jack Dempsey's Pub, 36 W. 33rd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-629-9899; 8, $5 & 1 drink min.

    Comedy Therapy Maureen Marren cures you w/laughs from nationally known comics; Otto's Shrunken Head, 538 E. 14th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-228-2240; 10, free .

    Ray Ellin performs stand-up alongside Kevin Flynn, Steve Byrne, Sherod Small, Carrie Karavas & Steve Marshall; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45, $12.50 [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 8:45, Fri. at 8:30 & 10:30, Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30].

    Girls! Girls! Girls! NY's funniest females?not a shy one in the bunch; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

    My Pony's in the Garage Eileen Kelly reminisces about her disturbing childhood & the various "childhood rites of passage" undergone before the days of child safety; the Tank, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; 9, $5.

    Colin Quinn makes you laugh w/Dov Davidoff, Pete Correale, Godfrey & Jim Norton; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. at 9 & 11, Fri. at 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m. & Sat. at 7:30, 9:15, 11 & 12:45 a.m.].

    Joan Rivers Vulgar funny lady delivers "raunchy, politically incorrect evening" of stand-up?proceeds benefit God's Love We Deliver & Guide Dogs For the Blind; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 8, $25.

    Stand-up Every hour, on the hour, for five hours hear the best from a weekly rotation of comics; HA! Comedy Club, 369 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th), 212-977-3884; 6:30 p.m.-12:30 a.m., $7-$15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs.-Tues.].

    Uncensored Comedy Greg Wilson pres. a great line-up of comedians, incl. Dustin Chafin, Laura Levites, Katy Olsen & Kareem Green; Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 917-406-6957; 9 & 11, $4 & 1 drink min. [repeats Thurs. at 9 & 11, Fri. at 11:30, Sat. at 8:30, Mon. & Tues. at 9:30].

    THURSDAY 1/15

    Cabaret

    "All Wear Bowlers" Two silent film clowns find themselves "in a surreal world of venomous ventriloquists & belligerent bowlers"?feat. Trey Lyford & Geoff Sobelle; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-868-4444, www.here.org; 8:30, $15.

    "The Rat Pack Review" Kevin James & Frank Bray perform hits by "ol' blue eyes" & the dashing Dean?plus comedy from Al Del Bene; Nolita Tavern, 30 Spring St. (Mott St.), 917-237-1901; 9 & 11, free .

    WOW Moves Dance Fest pres. "Brrrr-lesque" feat Erika Bernabe; Wow Cafe, 59 E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-777-4280; 8, $10 [repeats Fri. & Sat.].

    Comedy

    Automatic Vaudeville Weekly comedy/variety show w/Hilly & Gavin Souchet; Ars Nova, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-981-9722; 10, $5.

    Comedy Soapbox All-Stars Different stand-up line-up each week! Today, Dan Cronin, Eddie Ifft & Danny McDermott; Nevada Smith's, 74 3rd Ave. (betw. 11th & 12th Sts.), 212-982-2591, www.comedysoapbox.com; 9, $10.

    Gilbert Gottfried Maybe it's the drugs, but we think the man's a god?though a short god; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 8, $20.50.

    Put It In You! The Sex Ed Musical Julie Brister & Gideon Evans show you what happens when "two dorky middle school music teachers are forced to teach sex ed"; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves), 212-366-9176; 8, $5.

    "Revolutionary Chickens" Rob Lok's one-man comic take on his family's experiences escaping communist China; Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Aves.), 877-246-3537; 8, $10.

    Shang HBO & BET comedian/poet helps you celebrate MLK Day w/political charged humor?plus, DJ Mano on hand w/the music; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 10, $19-$24 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sun.].

    Thursday Night Comedy Show Hogwild hosts a set of new comics each week; Hiroko's Place, 75 Thompson St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts.), 212-625-1303; 8, 1 item min.

    Dance

    Danceoff! Non-competitive dance competition?for explanation see www.danceoff.net; Leonard Nimoy Thalia, Peter Norton Symphony Space, 2537 B'way (95th St.), 212-864-5400; 8:30, $21, $18 st./s.c. [repeats Fri.].

    "Dancing Henry Five" William Drakespeare: no longer just your favorite Ducktales character! Cruise down in your Lincoln Mark VIII to see a dance rendition of Henry V, feat. recorded voices of past greats w/narration & score; Danspace Project at St. Mark's Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-0910, RSVP 212-674-8194; 8:30, $15 [repeats Fri.-Sun.].

    "House of No More" Caden Manson's "theater of images for the new century is born: rapid, without concessions, violent & consuming itself at 100 miles an hour"; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; 8:30, $17 [repeats Fri.-Sat. at 8:30, Sun. at 5].

    "IYEZ" "Sight, sound & movement as seen through a lovers eyes"?a "choreopoem" rooted in the works of Ntozake Shange. Opening night reception 30-minutes before curtain; Producer's Club II, 616 9th Ave. (betw. W. 43rd & W. 44th Sts.), 212-868-4444; 7:30, $15, $12 st./s.c. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 7:30, Sun. at 1:30 & 7].

    "Journey to Gold Mountain" H.T. Chen & Dancers pres. the untold stories of the Chinese experience in America; Mulberry Street Theater, 70 Mulberry St. (Bayard St.), 212-349-0438; 10:30 a.m., $10, $5 st./s.c. [repeats Tues.].

    FRIDAY 1/16

    Cabaret

    The Bindlestiff Family Cirkus Winter Cabaret Eclectic troupe of vaudeville virtuosos, incl. talented members of Ringling Bros. & Cirque du Soleil, in their winter line-up; Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Aves.), 877-246-3537; 11, $15 [repeats Sat., through 2/28].

    Floating Vaudeville Night Von Von Von hosts tango-trapezeing, rowdy, raunchy fun feat. burlesque w/Ruby Valentine; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), 718-782-5188; 10 p.m.-1 a.m., $5.

    Happy Hour Salon Singer/comic Joanna Parson hosts performer salon feat. stand-up from Jonathan Corbett, esayist Elizabeth Payne, one-woman show Mary Purdy, craziness from Zero Boy & music by Alec Berlin; Siberia, 356 W. 40th St. (9th Ave.), 212-333-4141; 6, $5.

    The Karaoke Show The Donkey Show creators bring you their rendition of The Comedy of Errors?feel free to rock the mic or grind after the show; China Club, 268 W. 47th St. (8th Ave.), 212-398-3800; 7, $35-$55 [repeats Sat.].

    Let's Duet: A Celebration of Friendship & Song Singers Connie Pachl & Bill Daugherty perform Broadway & jazz standards w/several original pieces; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 9, $15 & 2 drink min.

    Comedy

    Bruce Bruce Host of BET's "Comic View" does it solo this weekend; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 8 & 10:30, $28.50 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m. & Sun. at 8].

    Jim David Tough Crowd regular does dark stand-up w/Ben Bailey & Mike Birbiglia; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30 & 10:30, $16 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].

    Gilligan's Island: the Lost Episodes Marc Adam Smith directs cast of castaways through totally unauthorized parody of the series, revealing secrets incl. how Mrs. Howell packed all her clothes for the three-hour tour; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7:30, $10, $8 adv.

    Komedy Kebob Tim Brennan & Pat Rigby host live comedy in da burg?if you still dare go; Bar 107, 107 N. 6th St. (betw. Berry & Wythe Sts.), Williamsburg, 718-302-3313; 8:30, free .

    The Nasty Show gets nastier w/KC Armstrong?the Howard Stern producer, who looks a little like a date-rapist; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 12:30 a.m., $22.50 & 2 drink min.

    "Sara Schaefer is Obsessed With You" Improv/sketch comedy in "talk show" format explores the subject of "obsessions & deep-down hidden feelings"; the Sage Theater, 711 7th Ave. (48th St.), 212-868-4444; 10, $8, $6 st./s.c.

    William Stephenson hosts stand-up feat. Kurt Metzger, Ellen Cleghorn, Rick Mann, Vanessa Hollingshead & Cory Kahaney; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8:30, 10:30 & 12.30 a.m., $17 & $12 min.

    Sweet Paprika Weekly comedy show w/special guests?but not special in a bad way!; Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-260-7993; 8:30, $5.

    3-Way Mexican Lei Try the Berkovits wit & the nachos grande. Floridian Duncan Jay & Long Islander Allegra Barnett also pres. stand-up; Maui Tacos, 330 5th Ave. (betw. 32nd & 33rd Sts.), 212-868-9720; 8, 6:30 sign-up, 1 item min.

    Rich Vos Tough Crowd guest performs classic NY stand-up w/fellow comics Corey Kahane, Jim Norton & that Insomniac, Dave Attel; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 7:30, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

    Dance

    "The Bucket" Kick the aforementioned pail w/an hour-long trio incorporating awkward objects in a fantasy on the theme of Trinity?like Zelda, but w/three dancers from Utah instead of none; Williamsburg Art neXus, 205 N. 7th St. (betw. Driggs Ave. & Roebling St.), Bklyn, 718-599-7997; 8, $12 [repeats Sat. at 8, Sun. at 6].

    "Hocus Pocus" A night of ridiculous dance theater?the only kind of dance theater!; Joyce Soho, 155 Mercer St. (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-7479; 8, $15, $12 st./s.c.

    SATURDAY 1/17

    Cabaret

    Le Scandal Striptease, magic & sideshow acts put "downtown edge & dash of Coney Island" on nouveau burlesque & vaudeville show; Cutting Room, 19 W. 24th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-691-1900; 10, $20.

    "Little Bit of Love: Evening with Lubka Bubkova & Friends" Margaret Dodge channels cosmetologist Bubkova, to bring you a little bit of comedic & musical madness; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; 10, $8.

    Isaac Mizrahi Über designer, who gave up dressing supermodels to outfit middle America via Target, returns belting standards, w/help from Ben Waltzer's jazz quintet; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 7:30, $20.

    "Rock 2: the New Rock Albers Show" Albers parodies American icons w/hilarious songs & "killer" comedy; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-352-3101; 5, $10 & 2 drink min.

    The Scott Walker Songbook David Driver returns to perform the songs of obscure glam songwriter Scott Walker, w/the Losers Lounge Band; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8770, www.joespub.com; 9:30, $15.

    Sinatra Saturdays Cary Hoffman performs Sinatra classics w/the Stan Rubin Orchestra; Carnegie Club, 156 West 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-957-9676; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.

    Comedy

    The Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Ritch Duncan hosts stand-up feat. the talent of Erin Foley, Allison Castillo, Adam Wade, Greg Wilson, Ray Field, Jen Kirwin, Larry Getlen, Jessi Klein & Rebecca Tingley; Boudoir Bar at East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), Carroll Gardens, 718-624-8878; 9:30, $5 & 2 drink min.

    Ray Ellin emcees stand-up from Kerry McNally, Tim Young, Johnny Lampert, Cory Kahaney, Ellen Cleghorn & JJ Ramirez; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 6, 8, 10:15 & 12.30 a.m., $17 & $12 min.

    Neal Medlyn The Paris Hilton of performance art unveils his latest show; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; 8, $7.

    Poole Party! Ron Poole hosts comedy/variety show feat. stand-up & musical comedy from Maryanne Murray, Marci Lacenere, Liz Lark Brown, Amy Wolf, Vijai Nathan, Lisa Nunn, Nancy Witter & Sidney Myer; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min. [through 3/27].

    "Rock 2: The New Rock Albers Show" MAC award-winner returns w/musical parodies of James Bond, Britney Spears, The Golden Girls & Oklahoma?the state?performed in a Brooks Brothers suit, paired w/fuzzy pink bunny ears; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 5, $10 & 2 drink min. [through 1/31].

    $andy Kane's New York Blew Comedy Show Unforgettable cable tv legend & comic stripper performs "I Love Dick" & lights up her tits, while Seymour Swan, Ron Jackson & Mark De Maeo look on?she's definitely going to blow that resolution; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 11:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

    Dance

    The Construction Company pres. choreographers Christopher Caines, Ezra Caldwell, Catherine Gallant & Carolyn Lord?plus, specially imported Italian musicians; Merce Cunningham Studio, 55 Bethune St. (Washington St.), 718-482-3512; 8, $20, $15 st./s.c. [repeats Sun.].

    SUNDAY 1/18

    Cabaret

    Cher: Four Decades Live Devon Cass looks & sounds just like her! Don't "Believe" us? He'll get you at "Babe"; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 8, $20.

    Kim Cea Live Smokey Joe's Cafe star Cea shares more than you wanted to know about "her Cher encounters, family faux pas, Internet obsession & hot pocket addiction" through song; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 7, $20.

    Hayden Tee performs a solo cabaret show; Mama Rose's, 219 2nd Ave. (betw. 13th & 14th Sts.), 212-533-0558; 4, $15 & 2 drink min.

    Comedy

    "The Keith Show!" Comedy variety entertainer Keith Evesage brings his Californian ways to Times Sq; Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Aves.), 877-246-3537; 9:30, $15 [repeats Mon.].

    MONDAY 1/19

    Cabaret

    Jackie Hoffman kvetches alongside pianist Dave Brunetti under the direction of Michael Schiralli; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 7:30, $20.

    Monday Evening Burlesque Classic, tassle-twirling fun & gets naughty w/guests incl. temptress Polly Peabody & redhead Ruby Valentine; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), 718-782-5188; 9:30, free .

    Show & Tell The crazy O'Debra Twins host a "wet & wild open mic"?performers "have seven minutes in heaven to do whatever the heck they want"; Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery (betw. Bleecker & Houston Sts.), 212-614-0505; 10, $3.

    Comedy

    Blue Mondays Tony Woods pres. super stand-up from Todd Lynn, Dean Edwards, Steve Byrne, Kyle Grooms, Dawnel Rawlings & Rondel Hartley; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:30, $5 & 1 drink min.

    Richie Byrne performs stand-up alongside Greg Rogell, Steve Marshall, Russ Meneve & Jessica Kirson; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45, $12.50 [repeats Tues.].

    Eating It Audres duBouchet hosts cult comedy series feat. stand-up from Jen Kirwin, Adam Wade, Tom McCaffrey, Bang Balutanski & Andrea Rosen?catch them before they're asked to give commentary on a VH1 show!; Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323; 8, $8 incl. free drink.

    Ed Sullivan On Acid Pat O'Shea hosts stand-up feat. D.C. Benny, Becky Donahue, Tim Brennan, Dave Greenberg, Rebecca Tingley, Larry Getlen, Sharif Coronaldi & Pat Galante?if you wanna dose, bring your own; Freddy's Backroom, 485 Dean St. (6th Ave.), Bklyn, 718-622-7035; 9:30, free .

    Colin Quinn Funny man performs stand-up w/Adam Ferrara, Mitch Fatel, Godfrey & Greg Giraldo; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Tues.].

    TUESDAY 1/20

    Cabaret

    Lilly Lipid's Open Mic Variety Night Share the stage w/acrobats, jugglers, magicians, dancers, clowns, drag kings & queens, creepy mimes & aerialists, or just sit back & enjoy the madness?9 p.m. sign-up; Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Aves.), 877-246-3537; 9:30, $5 [through 2/24].

    Comedy

    Chicken Parmigiana Sassy stand up starlet, Tracy Esposito tells her story of a care-free 20-year old girl whose world changes when her mother's life is put on the line?sounds hilarious!; Sanford Meisner Theater, 164 11th Ave. (betw. 22nd & 23rd Sts.), RSVP 212-560-5589; 8:30, $15.

    Steve Marshall Popular NYC club regular does one night only; Carolines on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 7, $15.

    "The Orphanage" Comedy in Exile pres. a dozen comics incl. special guest, Clonan; Siberia, 356 W. 40th St. (9th Ave.), 212-333-4141; 8, $5.

    THEATER

    IN PREVIEWS

    King Cowboy Rufus the Universe "evokes a nightmare world in which an imitation of George Bush finds himself attacked by bears, babies & statues of the dead. Turning away from romance, he lunges toward the eroticized terror of an unknowable future"; the Ontological Theatre, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-533-4650; Thurs.-Sun. & Tues. at 8, $15-$25 [opens 1/15].

    Valhalla I am coming..."a comic and affecting look at two desperate and passionate individuals both searching for a life of operatic beauty" by Paul Rudnick; New York Theatre Workshop, 79 E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $20, $15 st. [opens 2/5].

    RECENTLY OPENED

    Abundance "was created by Marty Pottenger through three years of interviews with multi-millionares and minimum-wage workers across the United States"; Dance Theater Workshop, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 7, mat. Sat. at 2, $25 [through 1/24].

    Anna in the Tropics Jimmy Smits makes his B'way debut in Pulitzer-Prize winning play; Royale Theater, 242 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $21.25-$81.25.

    The Architecture of Loss Man returns to family he abandoned to find radical changes; New York Theatre Workshop, 83 E. 4th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-460-5475; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 7:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 1:30, $20.

    Aunt Dan and Lemon Star of Princess Bride, co-author of My Dinner with Andre & son of famed New Yorker editor William Shawn offers new production of his "political horror story"; Kirk Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; call for times, $50 [through 1/31].

    Beckett/Albee Hear their monologues back to back & begin to wonder who plagarized whom; Century Center for the Performing Arts, 115 E. 15th St. (betw. Park & 3rd Aves.), 800-490-1175; call for times, $65 [through 2/1].

    Birdy A new play by Naomi Wallace, adapted from the novel by William Wharton (which the Nick Cage film was based on); the Women's Project Theatre, 424 W. 55th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $45 [through 2/8].

    Carnival Knowledge "A gasp-inducing journey into the subculture of circus and sideshow"; Soho Playhouse, 15 Vandam St. (6th Ave.), 212-691-1555; Thurs. & Fri. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $35-$45.

    Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Starring Ashley Judd, Jason Patric & Ned Beatty; Music Box Theatre, 239 W. 45th St. (6th Ave.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $86.25-$66.25.

    The Changeling Children's Theatre troupe puts on Harry-Potter backlash play about "an awkward fairy child who can't seem to fit in among the creatures of Fairyland. But when he's left behind in the human world, Alfred gets a chance to prove his worth and find a home at last"; Vital Theatre Co., 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-592-0129; mats. Sat. & Sun. at 1 & 3, $14 [through 2/15].

    Charles Phoenix's God Bless Americana: The Retro Holiday Slide Show "Celebrate the holidays like you never have before: with other people's amazing old Kodachrome slides of their best New Year's Eves, Halloweens, Thanksgivings, and of course, Christmas days"; Pyramid Club, 101 Ave. A (6th St.), 212-228-4888; call for times, $17-$20 [through 1/22].

    "A Christmas Carol" as Dickens Would Have Wanted It Special holiday reading as Dickens performed the piece?alone; Eagles Dare Theatre, 347 W. 36th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; call for times, $10-$30 [through 1/18].

    Christmas with Tommy Makem "joyous blend of festive holiday songs, poems and stories, including a reading of Dylan Thomas' A Child's Christmas in Wales"; Irish Repertory Theatre, 132 W. 22 St. (6th Ave.), 212-727-2737; call for times & prices [through 1/25].

    The Colleen Bawn "A mother desperate to save her home, a son desperate to hide his bride and a servant desperate enough to do anything set in motion a raucous chain of events, though happy endings are the order of the day in this Victorian melodrama"; Irish Repertory Theatre, 132 W. 22 St. (6th Ave.), 212-727-2737; call for times, $40-$45 [through 1/18].

    Crown Heights "Inspired by the still unresolved events of 1991 in the neighborhood that became synonymous w/racial strife"; All Stars Project, 543 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-941-1234; call for times, $25-$35 [through 3/7].

    Culture Mart 2004 "Sixteen days of groundbreaking, 'hybrid' performance"; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; call for times, $15 [through 1/15].

    Demon Baby "An American couple move to London for his work where she knows few people and misses home...a lot. While he's away she is spurred to extreme and peculiar behavior by her anxiety?which shows up, sits on her chest and gives devilish advice"; Ohio Theater, 66 Wooster St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts.), 212-966-4844, 212-358-3657; call for times, $15, $10 st. [through 1/31].

    Diss Diss and Diss Dat "A new hiphop musical based on the music of the Funke Natives, well-known Harlem rappers of the late 80s and early 90s"; Henry St. Settlement Abrons Arts Center, 466 Grand St. (Pitt St.), 212-598-0400; Weds.-Fri. at 7:30, Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30 [through 1/25].

    Dolphin Up a Tree Children's musical feat. Tina Talkington, who turns herself into many things incl. a dolphin & a tree; 78th Street Theater Lab, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-873-9050; Sun. at 11 a.m., $12.95 [through 4/8].

    Eat Fest: Fall 2003 "Ambitious, short-play festival"; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-206-1515; call for times & prices [through 2/1].

    The Exonerated Four real-life, former death-row inmates who were eventually acquited portray themselves for one week in long-runnng, off-B'way play; 45 Bleecker St., 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; call for times & prices.

    Golda's Balcony Tova Feldshuh portrays "the rise of Golda Meir from impoverished Russian schoolgirl to prime minister"; Helen Hayes Theatre, 240 W. 44th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times & prices.

    The Good Faith: 1940-1990 "Musical drama of good intentions, betrayal & misplaced devotion among Jehovah's Witnesses"; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-475-7710; call for times, $15 [through 1/25].

    Gutenberg: The Musical! "The true story of Johann Gutenberg?the man who invented the printing press"?we should've known from the missing "t," it wasn't about heartthrob Steve; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves), 212-366-9176; Weds. at 8 [through 2/25].

    H.M.S. Pinafore w/the New York Gilbert & Sullivan Players; City Center, 131 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; call for times & prices [through 1/25].

    Holiday From the author of The Philadelphia Story; Gallery Players, 199 14th St. (betw. 4th & 5th Aves.), Park Slope, 718-595-0547; call for times, $15, $12 st./s.c. [through 1/25].

    The Hunger Waltz Woman finds out how she would fare in the 18th, 20th & 22nd centuries w/same set of dilemmas (and no, none of them involve food); M.E.T., 55 Mercer St. (Broome St.), 212-239-6200; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 2, $15 [through 1/25].

    Instructions for Forgetting "Somewhere between a performance and an idiosyncratic lecture, this unusual piece interweaves original text with found video, letters, interviews, and tapes from friends alongside recordings of world events"; Theater for the New City, 155 1st Ave. (betw. 9th & 10th Sts.), 212-254-1109; call for times, $20 [through 1/25].

    The Lark "In this classic drama, which is surprisingly humorous, this fabled telling by Jean Anouilh about the life and legend of Joan of Arc is literally dramatized in front of Joan's persecutors"; Sanford Meisner Theater, 164 11th Ave. (betw. 22nd & 23rd Sts.), 212-543-9662; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $25 [through 2/1].

    The Last Supper "Honest-to-God dinner theater" in the playwright's own pad; Ed Schmidt's Apartment, 154 W. 27th St., #4W (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 718-499-7758; Fri. & Sat. at 7, $50-$75.

    Life Interrupted Spalding Gray's latest work-in-progress; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; Sun. & Mon. at 7:30, $20 [through 2/9].

    Lilia! Libby Skala plays her grandmother, a Hitler refugee turned zipper factory employee turned Broadway star; Eagles Dare Theatre, 347 W. 36th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; Mon. & Tues. at 7, $20 [through 2/3].

    Love & Taxes Josh Kornbluth's comedy monlogue finally makes its way east; Bank Street Theatre, 155 Bank St. (betw. Washington & West Sts.), 212-561-9635; call for times & prices [through 1/18].

    Madama Fortuna "If you enjoy the show it is because I have been a kind and generous performer. And if you do not, it is entirely your fault"; Dixon Place at Chashama, 111 W. 42nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-219-0736; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 5, $10-$15.

    Mahler: the Man Who Was Never Born "A stranger from another universe...a troubled young man...and a beautiful woman seer will embark upon a journey to change the course of history, but the history of which world"?just a wee bit over our heads; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; call for times, $15-$20 [through 2/1].

    Matt & Ben "What if the only thing standing between you and destiny was Ben Affleck?"; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; call for times, $22.50.

    Menopause The Musical "is the parody that chronicles the meeting of four women at a lingerie sale in Bloomingdale's fighting over a black lace bra with nothing in common but memory loss, hot flashes, night sweats, chocolate binges, wrinkles, plastic surgery, hormones, not enough sex, too much sex, and much more"; Playhouse 91, 316 E. 91st St. (2nd Ave.), 212-307-4100; call for times & prices [through 1/14].

    Mercury: The Afterlife and Times of a Rock God One-man show all about everyone's favorite Queen, Freddy Mercury; the Triad, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), 212-352-3101; Sun. at 7, $30.

    Moms "Veteran stage and television actress Clarice Taylor is resurrecting America's first female stand-up comedienne, Jackie "Moms" Mabley, for the off-Broadway stage"; Kirk Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; call for times & prices.

    Moo! The Twisted Tale of Dinky Farms "Animal Farm meets 'Looney Tunes'"; Manhattan Theatre Source, 177 MacDougal St. (W. 8th St.), 212-501-4751; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15.

    The Musical of Musicals?The Musical! "In a comic satire of musical theater genres, one story becomes five musicals, each in the distinctive style of a different master of the form, from Rodgers and Hammerstein to Stephen Sondheim"; St. Peter's Church, 619 Lexington Ave. (54th St.), 212-935-2200; call for times, $20-$50 [through 2/8].

    My Big Gay Italian Wedding Needless to say, the plot revolves around a few obstacles to a traditional Catholic affair...; Actor's Playhouse, 100 7th Ave. S. (betw. Bleecker & Christopher Sts.), 212-239-6200; Fri. at 10, mat. Sat. at 3, $40 [through 2/28].

    No Exodus "A barefoot and stuttering Shepard is approached by God and asked to go back to Egypt to confront the powerful Pharaoh. Armed with little more than a phrase, 'I am that I am,' he unhappily obliges"; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-206-1515; call for times & prices [through 1/17].

    The Nuclear Family You decide which family member each of these three men portray, they make up the songs; Zipper Theater, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $20.

    Radiohole Is Still My Name "Radiohole and their half-brother Joe 'Shoot 'Em Up' Silovsky are up to their old tricks in this spaghetti docu-drama guest-starring Guy Debord"; Bucky's Fijian Lounge, 146 Metropolitan Ave. (Wythe Ave.), Williamsburg, 718-388-2251; call for times, $10 [through 1/31].

    The Rivals Richard Brinsley Sheridan's 18th century farce; Theatre 80, 80 St. Mark's Pl. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-598-9802; call for times & prices [through 1/18].

    Roadhouse: The Stage Version of the Cinema Classic that Starred Patrick Swayze, Except This One Stars Taimak from the 80s Cult Classic The Last Dragon Wearing a Blonde Mullet Wig It seems obvious there is only one, or rather two, things to add: Who will replace Jeff Healey & Sam Elliott; Clemente Soto Velez Cultural Center, 107 Suffolk St. (betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts.), 718-637-3527; call for times & prices [through 1/17].

    A Rockette's Tail Just in time for the holidays, but leave the kiddies at home; Eagles Dare Theatre, 347 W. 36th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-868-4444; Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7, $20 [through 2/15].

    Russian Strip Set in 1950s-era Soviet Union, plays in conjunction w/An American Heart (about "Jebediah Hankering, an aging, alcohol-swilling reprobate, ensconced in a medical center by his self-righteous sister"; Wings Theatre, 154 Christ