WED Wed. 9/3 The Epoxies Their self-titled EP on ...
The Epoxies
Their self-titled EP on Dirtnap suffers from tired covers?Adam Ant's "Beat My Guest" and Alice Cooper's "Clones"?but the three originals rank these new-wavers as rising stars. Despite their silly shades, the Epoxies sound utterly sincere, mixing their melodic punk with synth squiggles and hiccuping vocals. If the Karen O. backlash has to begin, let frontwoman Roxy Epoxy dance on the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' grave. Pianos, 158 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-505-3733, 8, $7.
Thurs. 9/4
Joe Heaps Nelson Painting Auction
There's plenty of artwork out there and plenty of cheerleader porn, but very rarely are the two combined. Joe Heaps Nelson's one-man sale of delectable oil paintings of cheerleaders in action, cheerleaders in repose and cheerleaders in profile gives you a chance to take one home. None of them are overtly sexual, but many are overtly disturbing. Kicked out of his studio space in DUMBO for lack of funds, Heaps needs to carry less baggage and more liquid assets. Hence free drinks during the silent auction, which begins at 5 with host Lulu Savage holding the gavel for a live auction at 8. Paintings start at $100. 133 Norfolk St. (betw. Rivington & Stanton Sts.), 646-602-2338.
Si-Se
Close your eyes and you can almost feel the soft waves of Carol C's voice licking at your face. Ryan Farley's beats take over for your heart as the bass, keyboard and violas send your body swaying with an invisible current. This is Si-Se. Their eclectic, electric repertoire mixes hiphop, salsa, rock, classical and jazz. They'll be playing selections from their self-titled Latin Billboard-nominated album to their diverse and broad fan base. El Museo del Barrio, 1230 5th Ave. (104th St.), 212-831-7272, 6, free.
Fri. 9/5
Annie Sprinkle
Oh, really now. Annie Sprinkle as humorous porn star isn't funny. Nor is Annie Sprinkle as New Age performance artist. We'll give her one more chance: Annie Sprinkle, portrait photographer. Though Sprinkle has been exhibited around the world for the past 30 years, this is the first solo showing of her photography in the U.S. We're not entirely convinced that this installation will be any more interesting than her less-than-interesting antics, but as we said: one more chance. Art@Large, 630 9th Ave. #707 (betw. 44th & 45th Sts.), 212-957-8371, 11-6, free.
Painkiller
What's the best drug for a Painkiller show? Their ambient sheets of sound and free-time rhythm would suggest acid. But the intensity of the music and the volatile shrieks of the vocals call for speed. And of course, the jarring, occasional shots of heavy metal sludge shout beer and good weed. Further complicating the conundrum is that the John Zorn, Bill Laswell-led Painkiller is at least nominally an upscale experimental jazz group?white wine, then? Nope. Painkiller calls for an over-the-counter solution: Robitussin and No-doz is the way of the walk. Tonic, 107 Norfolk St. (betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts.), 212-358-7501, 8 & 10, $25, $20 adv.
Nina Nastasia
Such pretty, spare songs would be fine if only Nina Nastasia and her crisp six-string took on playing duties, but with a full (and seemingly smacked-out-of-their-minds) band of sawists, violinists and cellists behind her, these laments and memories come beautifully, sadly to life. If you still haven't heard May's Run to Ruin (Touch & Go), come to the Bowery Ballroom tonight and scream requests for the new stuff. 6 Delancey St. (betw. Bowery & Chrystie Sts.), 212-533-2111, 10, $15.
CHIPS CD release
How much funk can two men create? If the two men are Hub drummer Sean Noonan and former Yusef Lateef sideman Aram Bajakian, it's a whole lot. The squirrelly virtuosos combine their chops in CHiPS, jumbling genres like funk, sludgy metal, electronica and Armenian folk music. In case you were worried, they have zero connection with Eric Estrada. The Hub and DJ Loose will play in support of a new CHiPS cd. Knitting Factory Old Office, 74 Leonard St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-219-3006, 9, $8.
Sat. 9/6
Squiggy
The Rumblers must be biting their knuckles with excitement! Their hero, David Lander, better known as Squiggy in Laverne & Shirley, is speaking today! Lander will be discussing multiple sclerosis, but maybe you can ask him about Sha Na Na or muscle cars or something. Hilton New York, 1335 6th Ave. (betw. 53rd & 54th Sts.), 800-522-5185, 9:30 a.m, free.
Mogwai
The perfect time to hear Mogwai's stormy elegies would be: a) immediately after a hurricane that destroyed your home but left you unscathed, b) while finding a note from your dead girlfriend in a jacket you haven't worn in years, c) after your pet gremlin, Gizmo, whom you were told to keep dry at all costs, is soaking wet and replicating ill-mannered versions of himself? (Answer: c. Obviously c.) Mogwai is a slow-burning fireball that invites abstract thought and questions. How do they make deafening noise seem so quiet? Why do their concert audiences seem so shell-shocked and relieved after the show? And why do sad songs remind them of their friends? Irving Plaza, 17 Irving Pl. (15th St.), 212-777-6800, 8, $20, $18 adv.
Aviate
The arts conglomerate extraordinaire known as Aviate brings you flavor in every medium imaginable (installation, photo, film, video, sculpture, live acts, DJs), by artists of every level (amateur, grad student, established pros), on all of Knitting Factory's levels?and all for one price. 74 Leonard St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-219-3006, 8, $10, $5 adv.
Sun. 9/7
James Madison Papers
Politics got you down? As part of its ongoing Presidential Manuscripts exhibition, the New-York Historical Society is currently showing the papers of James Madison. Madison was one of the main intellectual forces behind the Constitution, an author of the Federalist Papers and the president during the War of 1812. Documents from all of these are on display, just so you don't forget that we haven't always had jackasses occupying all manner of public offices. 2 W. 77th St. (Central Park W.), 212-873-3400, 11-6. $8, $5 st./s.c./child. under 12 free.
Mon. 9/8
Paul Krugman
New York Times columnist and Princeton Economics professor Paul Krugman's last name is pronounced "kroogman." Trust us. We called the Princeton econ department and everything. It will indeed be instructive and fun to watch him share a stage with Wall Street Journal writer Tom Herman discussing economics and such, but we really want to hear what his voice sounds like. We've always assumed that he sounded like a hyper-exasperated Richard Dreyfuss, but there's the chance he could roll out the smooth basso of Barry White. 92nd St. Y, 1395 Lexington Ave. (92nd St.), 212-415-5500, 8, $25.
Tues. 9/9
The Ex
Don't miss this band of avant lunatics from Amsterdam. They are one of the world's top live acts, and in a time when people get excited over red and white uniforms, it's good to know that creativity and intelligence still exist. The Ex matches angry leftwing politics with some of the most thrilling and disturbing music you'll see this moon. Last time we caught them, one guitarist was resting his instrument on the club's air conditioning, letting the roar bleed through his amps and effects pedals while the other played with a saucer and spoon. Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-219-3006, 9, $10.
War Against the Weak Reading
The ideas behind eugenics go back centuries, but not enough people realize that a concentrated, widespread and officially sanctioned eugenics movement existed in the States through the first half of the 20th century. It's clear it didn't work, but from 1904 into the 50s, blacks, Jews, Indians, poor whites, drunks, crazies, the retarded, immigrants and more were faced with everything from forced sterilization to "passive euthanasia" to get those nasty chromosomes of theirs out of the gene pool. Tonight investigative journalist Edward Black will read from his new book, War Against the Weak, in which he details the history of the American eugenics movement, and explains how it was directly responsible for the Holocaust. Barnes & Noble, 2289 B'way (82nd St.), 212-362-8835, 7:30, free.
Contributors: CXB, Jennifer Blowdryer, Adam Bulger, Lily Gordon, Jim Knipfel, Tony Leonardo, Hana Nakamura, Dennis Tyhacz and Alexander Zaitchik.