WED Wed. 9/24 Dr. Ruth Speaks Believe ...

Wed. 9/24

Dr. Ruth Speaks

Believe it or not, Dr. Ruth Westheimer had a life and career long before helping middle-aged couples spice up their sex lives on national radio. Find out the truth about Dr. Ruth before she became the Ann Landers of sex advice?and hear what she thinks of Dan Savage. Museum of Jewish Heritage, 18 First Pl. (Little West St.), 212-968-1800, 7, free.

Elvis Costello

It's so funny to be seeing you after so long, Elvis. And the way we look, you understand that we are not impressed. OK, maybe a little impressed. Your last record was pretty good and your cameo in the second Austin Powers movie was neat; still, it doesn't make up for coasting on your first three records for nearly 20 years. Now you're back with Steve Nieve, croaking out pretty little pop songs, accompanied by expert piano playing. And sometimes we wish that we could stop you from singing when we hear the silly things that you say, but there are worse ways to see you than this way. Town Hall, 123 W. 43rd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-840-2824, 8, $45-$75.

Orson Welles' The Trial

Franz Kafka, Charles Foster Kane and Norman Bates converge in The Trial, and their union is one of the strangest lost moments of 20th century cinema. As the film opens, the lies that someone must have been telling about Joseph K have caused his arrest, and he is sent into a world of long shadows, strange angles and weird but expert acting. The film's negative was believed lost for years, which somehow seems fitting. This screening marks the 40th anniversary of the film. Makor, 35 W. 67th St. (betw. Columbus Ave. & Central Park W.), 212-601-1000, 7:30 & 9:45, $9.

Thurs. 9/25

Built To Spill

You know them. You love them. They're Built to Spill. We could splash some ink on the page about their catchy songs and occasional epic turns. We could tell you how their newest record, Ancient Melodies of the Future, is a chrystaline return to the bite-size pop of their classic Keep It Like a Secret. We could tell you that their shows dependably rock and move and this is nearly a guaranteed pretty good time. But judging from how the first night of their stint at Irving was sold out so quickly, you already know that. See you there. With the Delusions, the Solace Bros. Irving Plaza, 8, $17, $16.75 adv.

Tribute to Pablo Neruda

Remember that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa said, "Pablo Neruda said that laughter is the language of the soul," and Bart replied, "I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda"? That was awesome. Be like Bart and familiarize yourself with the beauty of the Chilean poet and Nobel laureate tonight. New Neruda translations will be read by literary notables, including Ariel Dorfman, April Bernard, Roberty Bly, Rafael Campo, Martin Espada, John Felstiner, Edward Hirsch, Jane Hirschfield, Galway Kinnell, Margaret Sayers Peden & Gary Soto. CUNY Graduate Center, 365 5th Ave. (34th St.), 7, $7.

Regime Change in 2004?

The World Policy Institute sponsors this talk called "The Bush Doctrine & the 2004 Presidential Race," but we promise it will be more interesting than a WPI policy paper on falling water tables in Mexico. They've lined up Harper's editor Lewis Lapham and former Clinton advisor Sidney Blumenthal to lead a panel discussion on the impact of Bush's preemptive war doctrine on the upcoming election. Consider it an anti-Bush public strategy session. Swayduck Auditorium at, New School University, 65 5th Ave. (betw. 13th & 14th Sts.), RSVP 212-229-5808 x101, 6, free.

Fri. 9/26

Lyndon Johnson AND the 1964 Presidential campaign

Sadly, this is not the name of a band. Happily, it should be an informative and lively discussion of the historic 1964 landslide election of Lyndon Johnson, involving high civil rights drama at the Democratic convention, the nutty opposition of Barry Goldwater and that commercial with the little girl, the flower and the nuclear bomb. CUNY Graduate Center, 365 5th Ave. (34th St.), 212-817-8215, 2, $10.

Sat. 9/27

M.E.A.N.Y. Fest

Last year, the first annual M.E.A.N.Y. Fest, sponsored by Guitar World and run by longtime scenester Denise Gerardi, sent Stellastarr off to a major-label record deal. Who will it be this year? The best and hungriest NYC bands are up in a very high-school-type competition where the audience fills out slips of paper to rate what they like onstage. It's fun, cheap and chock full of talent. Saturday's the final installment, so the desperation should be electrifying. It starts in the afternoon and features 3rd Degree, Charm School, Seizuki Ton and others. Arlene's Grocery 95 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.,) 212-358-1633, 6, $10.

Rock 'n' Roll High School

There are no shootings, racial tensions or meth heads in Rock 'n' Roll High School. So what, then, makes it so rock 'n' roll? Four scruffy Queens natives called the Ramones, whose presence anywhere turns a place into the most rock 'n' roll place on earth. Originally conceived of as Disco Roller Skate High, but kicked down an income bracket, RNRHS follows Ramones fan and aspiring songwriter Riff Randall (P.J. Soles) in her attempts to liberate Vince Lombardi High from the oppressive machinations of its new principal, who hates Ramones music because it makes lab mice explode. Clint Howard's Eaglebauer is hilarious as the teenage wheeler-dealer. And don't miss Dee Dee's single word of dialogue. Which, for the record, is "pizza." Landmark Sunshine Cinema 143 E. Houston St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 800-555-TELL, 12 a.m., $10, $6.50 s.c.

Sun. 9/28

Louque

They started as a computer music project, then evolved into a powerful mix of electronic and organic music. Louque's music has beats that zag when you expect them to zig and support hypnotic and soulful sounds that are sometimes joyful and often just spooky. Sin-é, 150 Attorney St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-388-0077, 8, $7.

Mon. 9/29

The Fortress of Solitude: A Novel

We haven't gotten to the new Jonathan Lethem book yet; its weight is intimidating, and we're awful busy with our Bible study group. But his last full-length novel, Motherless Brooklyn, rocked like a hurricane and almost deserved its massive popularity and National Book Critics Circle Award. He'll be reading tonight at Astor Place Barnes & Noble, so sit in the front and yell "eat me Bailey," every five or 10 minutes, just to let Lethem know what a horrible beast he has birthed onto the world. 4 Astor Pl. (betw. B'way & Lafayette St.), 212-420-1322, 7:30, free.

A Traveler's Guide to Mars

From H.G. Wells to the Misfits, Mars has dizzied intellectuals and visionaries with its mystery. That's understandable: It is near to Earth, it's red and, some contend, may contain life. William Hartmann, who bills himself as a "scientist" and was involved with Mariner 9 and Mars Global Survey, offers historical information, current theory and future hope for inhabiting that red planet. American Museum of Natural History, Central Park W. (79th St.), 212-769-5200, 7:30, $16, $14 st/s.c.

WW3 Release Party

Celebrate "Taking Liberties," the latest issue of WW3 Illustrated, the longest-running zine in history and home to some of New York's best artist-activists. At Theater for the New City, you'll be joining Mac McGill, Sabrina Jones and Seth Tobocman for a release party that will feature multimedia presentations and video footage from the recent WTO protests in Cancun. Pick up a copy of WW3 itself?Sue Coe's center spread is medieval and lush, and Eric Laursen's article on Bush's war is razor-sharp. 155 1st Ave. (betw. 9th & 10th Sts.), 212-254-1109, 7:30, $5.

TUES. 9/30

Marie Roberts' Sideshow Banners

Since the late 90s, Marie Roberts has been carrying on a century-old tradition with her painted banners that adorn the front of Sideshows by the Seashore. Vibrant, semi-truthful portraits of human pincushions, blockheads, fire eaters, sword swallowers, snake charmers and killer clowns?she convinces passerby that what's inside the tent will live up to what's outside. It rarely does, but in the end no one much minds. Several of her banners, together with other artworks celebrating Coney culture, will be on display in a one-woman show at the Bowery Gallery, 530 W. 25th St., 4th Fl., (10th & 11th Aves.), 646-230-6655, 11-6, free.

Arthur Miller Reconsidered

If the last time you thought about Arthur Miller was while reading The Crucible Cliff Notes in high school, then here's your chance to make amends. Arthur Miller biographer (and former Post drama critic) Martin Gottfried tonight discusses his Arthur Miller: His Life and Work, a robust defense of a writer who is much more than Marilyn Monroe and his most famous plays. Barnes & Noble, 2289 B'way (82nd St.), 212-362-8835, 7:30, free.