WED Wed. 8/27 Best American Crime Writing 2003 In ...

Best American Crime Writing 2003

In the second-annual collection of the country's most enthralling true crime reporting, editors Otto Penzler and Thomas H. Cook cull pieces from the usual sources?GQ, Vanity Fair, Atlantic, The New Yorker. To their credit, in most cases they avoid the obvious?the big splashy crimes we heard so much about, like Chandra Levy, Elizabeth Smart or Robert Blake. There's an Enron piece in here, but there's also Maximillian Potter's wonderful "The Body Farm," about that poor fucker who scattered bodies around the University of Tennessee campus. Our favorite, though, is "The Boy Who Loved Transit," Jeff Tietz' profile of the New York kid who loved subway trains so much, he kept hijacking them. The editors will read and discuss the collection at Barnes & Noble, 675 6th Ave. (21st St.), 212-727-1227, 7, free.

Thurs. 8/28

Nervous Cabaret

Imagine Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan singing with members of the Stray Cats and the Clash, only more intense, and you've got Nervous Cabaret. Elyas "Kid Sic" Khan's Pakistan-trained voice belts out songs about getting drunk, falling out of love and selling out over endlessly evocative coronet by Fred Wight, fierce contrabass (Matt Morandi), drums (Brian Geltner) and now they've added a second drummer. You're guaranteed to both dance and cry within half an hour. Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (Stanton St.), 212-253-7246, 10, $5.

Anthrax

They're Anthrax and they take no shit/they're one thrash combo that can survive a hit. Heads best recognize that Anthrax is straight out of the boogiedown Bronx, made the only good rap/metal song ever ("Bring the Noise") and provided the soundtrack for smoking joints outside of the Dairy Queen throughout junior high school. With Lacuna Oil and Dry Kill Logic. Irving Plaza, 17 Irving Pl. (15th St.), 212-777-6800, 8, $22, $19.50 adv.

Fri. 8/29

The Toasters

A few years back, ska bands could be found weekly at almost any venue on this little island of ours. The Cooler, now known as Rare, Continental and the now-defunct Wetlands are just three joints that attracted a loyal herd of skinheads and their rudegirls. Tonight, go back to more musical times via a quick ride aboard the MTA's magic way-back trains?the F and the G?out to the not-so-far reaches of Red Hook to catch a classic Toasters' set at this appropriately titled bar. They may have traveled a bit far into the realm of rock to please die-hard fans, but their brass-blown tunes will give you something to skank to at the Hook. 18 Commerce St. (betw. Richards & Columbia Sts.), Red Hook, 718-797-3007, 8:30, $10.

Shock & Awe A-Go-Go

"The Black and the Jew" invite you to sit on their coach, relax, take a deep breath and spread your legs?this is a different type of couples therapy. The interracial comedy team cum relationship experts, Epstein and Hassan are all about making you tingle in those naughty places with their risque troupe of strippers (male and female), fetish acts and erotic circus performers. If you are the type that blushes at the drop of a pair of panties, then this erotic enterprise is not for you. Or is it? Final Performance. Cutting Room, 19 W. 24th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-868-4444, 11, $15.

Sat. 8/30

The O'Debra Twins

We've written about these saucy broads before?they deserve more attention than most of this city's conventional comedians?and so here we plug them again. The O'Debra Twins are two of the smartest, most perverse gals in the city. Imagine a much-bigger-busted Sarah Silverman and her twin sister, with more garish costumes and more avant-garde cred. Get this: They're both Anglo-Saxon sexy. They keep adding new personalities to their stable, but we'll be happy if they just give us their classic "Eurotrash" bits. (Duchess Lichtenslopp's most charming joke: "What do you do when you finish killing basket of kittens? [long pause] Kill next basket of kittens!"). The Twins are doing their first solo show, "The Entire World Thinks We're Famous!!!" though they'll be bringing along a few guests, like Mantits, Hank Flynn, Mike Amato, Shauna Lane and a few others, all of whom are smart and funny but thankfully askew. Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277, 10, $6.

Afrika Bambaataa

Is it over already? The summer Warm Up music series culminates in a closing party with a special appearance by the king of the Zulu Nation tribe and old-school originator, Afrika Bambaataa. Together with Kool Herc and Grandmaster Flash, Bambaataa was nurturing hiphop at impromptu block parties before most kids in the game today were even born. In the early 80s, his "Planet Rock" also helped lay the foundation of electro. The perfect choice to bid farewell to summer at P.S. 1 Contemporary Art Center, 22-25 Jackson Ave. (46 St.), Long Island City, 718-784-2084, 3, $6.

Sun. 8/31

Lightning Bolt

Hard to believe the critics love this power-duo, as they're a lot closer to much-reviled jazz fusion than the kind of retro dullards populating the Voice's Pazz & Jop polls. The Lightning Bolt are terrifyingly ferocious noise-splitters on nothing but bass and drums (and effects-laden vocals), and they make a racket that is surprisingly distinctive amongst the paint-by-numbers posers of the noise rock world (though their freakouts do all start to sound the same after a while). We're not kidding: bring earplugs. Northsix, 66 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), 718-599-5103, 9, $10.

Flesh for Frankenstein

We're still waiting for the screening gurus over in Astoria to get their hands on a 3-D version of the Italian horror classic, Nude for Satan, but until that glorious day, you are invited to settle for Warhol's more widely appreciated Flesh for Frankenstein. This interpretation of the exhausted text sees Baron Frankenstein attempt to create a new race out of human body parts?makes sense?but when the directors decided it was easier to make low-budget porn than low-budget thrills, the Baron's wife understandably becomes hungry for love (and it's feeding time). What does it all mean for you? More boobs and ketchup than the Westchester County Fair. That's right: 3-D soft porn. Bring the kids. American Museum of the Moving Image, 35 Ave. (36th St.), Astoria, 718-784-4520, 4:30, $10, $7.50 st./s.c., $5 child.

Mon. 9/1

N.E.R.D. and the Roots

Ready for an afternoon of upscale hiphop? Sprite, that seltzer-looking lemon-lime soda that tastes like carbonated cruelty, is continuing its inroads into the urban market by presenting a coterie of rap/R&B cats that you could almost take home to meet the moms. The gurus of N.E.R.D. make beats as refined as Domino's sugar and the Roots, as you all know by now, are the world's most dependably solid live hiphop act. PNC Bank Arts Center, Holmdel, NJ, 212-307-7171, 2, $14.25.

Tues. 9/2

Azure Ray

You know that feeling when you've been up on speed for four days straight, and you're lying against your wall surrounded by dirty clothes and the cold of dawn and thinking about that straight razor in the bathroom, and then the sun shines in, bathing your squalid surroundings in warmth and honey? That ray's name is Azure Ray. With their desperate but soothing pleas for sleep and acceptance, the dreamy, gushy Atlanta duo will make you stand still like no one else?except maybe Low. With Martha Wainwright. Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778, 7, $10.

Contributors: CXB, Adam Bulger, Lily Gordon, James Griffith, Jim Knipfel, Dan Migdal, Sarah Shanok, Lucia Udvardyova and Alexander Zaitchik.