WED WED. 6/25 Eye Wash Choreographer Eric Dunlap and media artist ...

Eye Wash

Choreographer Eric Dunlap and media artist Holly Daggers have grafted technology to biology for Forward Motion Theater since 1995. Their latest project, Eye Wash, is a biweekly event where invited VJs bathe a bar/restaurant in Chelsea Market with loops and layers of high-impact motion graphics, video, and animation. This week features Giles Hendrix, Feedbuck/Galore and VJ SpuTNiK. Go to forwardmotion.org to view some mind-bending clips. And don't miss the FMT VJ reel-Daggers is a knockout in a nurse's uniform. Freight, 410 W. 16th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-242-6555, 9, free.

The Murder Junkies

We can't believe it's been more than a decade since he passed the way of most rock stars. His stench of vomit, urine, feces and Jack Daniels still stings our noses, while his missed personality tugs our hearts-and who could forget his insane stage shows? Now G.G. Allin's kid brother, Merle, is bringing it all back for us at Don Hill's. Reunited are G.G. and Merle's band, the Murder Junkies, minus the dead guy. It will be nice to see Bill, their Satanic guitarist, and Dino the naked drummer once again, even if Dino isn't shoving furniture up his rectum. We're sure Merle still has one ugly-ass beard, and we're glad to see Jeff Clayton from Anti-Seen on vocal doodies for the night. Don Hill's, 511 Greenwich St. (Spring St.), 212-219-2850, 8, $15.

THURS. 6/26

Lloyd Kaufman

For the past 30 years, Lloyd Kaufman and his Troma team of low-, under-, and unpaid would-be filmmakers, actors and girls who'll take their clothes off have made some of the most gloriously crude films of all time, from the Toxic Avenger series, to Surf Nazis Must Die, to Tromeo and Juliet. Kaufman's 1998 book, All I Need to Know About Filmmaking I Learned from the Toxic Avenger, an anecdote-heavy memoir concerning the first 25 years of his little schlockhouse, was so popular that he decided to write another. In Make Your Own Damn Movie!, he offers to tell your favorite aspiring Ed Woods wasting their time at NYU film school how to use guerrilla tactics to make and distribute a really awful film for almost no money! He'll be reading from the book and telling a few fart jokes tonight at Borders, 461 Park Ave. (57th St.), 212-980-6785, 7:30, free.

XAR

Professional Idiot Michael Portnoy has been pissing people off for years with his performance-art provocations, such as jumping onstage at Luna Lounge and sabotaging a lame Colin Quinn set. (Is there any other kind?) Most infamously, Portnoy crashed the live broadcast of the 1998 Grammy's when he danced topless next to Bob Dylan with "SoyBomb" written on his chest, thus raising the bar for all future live television interruptions. Maybe you've seen him around town as "Professor Kiffy Apocobe," a phony CUNY professor of experimental jokes compiled from around the globe. Whatever guise he's using, he's consistently smart, bizarre and surprisingly talented. What many of his random fans don't know is that he's also a skilled musician and singer and his new project, XAR, performs his unique "majestro" music this evening. (That's "majestic-electro", but it sounds to us more like operatic-prog-metal-electro.) Watch out for his blistering cover of "Man from La Mancha." Also on the bill is the unusual Thomas Truax, who builds homemade instruments like a musical Dr. Frankenstein. Sin-e, 150 Attorney St. (btwn. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-388-0077, 9, $8.

FRI. 6/27

Pericles

The ancient Greeks loved epics filled with raw emotions, fickle immortals and disasters at sea. This modern adaptation of Shakespeare's telling of Pericles is just that, a romance about a young prince that begins with father-daughter incest, is riddled with murder and loss, but produces a happy ending. The simplicity of the sets-a gray floor and some pillows-magnifies this ensemble's great acting. No relation between the venue and the energy drink. Red Bull Theater, 45 Bleecker St. (betw. Lafayette St. & Bowery), 212-352-3101, 8, $15-$30.

Wilco & Sonic Youth

It seems that Sonic Youth has turned its back on putting out listenable music over the last 10 years or so. But whenever "Teenage Riot" comes on the jukebox, all the love comes flooding back. Relive the moment in high school when owning Sister meant you were the coolest nerd on the block. Weather permitting, Wilco's polite alt-country will be an excellent soundtrack for a fading Central Park evening. Central Park Summer Stage, Central Park, 212-307-7171, 6:30, $30.

SAT. 6/28

Django Haskins

Hearthrobby Django Haskins takes his memorable melodies and nostalgic lyrics north from his native Chapel Hill tonight at Fez. We hope to spot the tour bus in the parking lot so we can apologize to Django for flashing him at the last show...or to do it again. 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000, 7, $10 & 2 drink min.

Anti-Hunger Benefit

The numbers are overwhelming. In New York State, 2,050,000 people struggle to find enough food to eat, including 784,000 children. In an effort to change this, Hunger Free America and Friends of the United Nations are staging a concert and food drive to benefit the Food Bank for New York City. Kendall Jane Meade of Mascott, dub poet ANTON and Angela McKenzie will perform at Ramscale Daylight Studios tonight with refreshment support care of Sundance Corporate Caterers. 55 Bethune St. (entrance at 463 West St.), 212-368-6745, 8, $20 donation plus one or more non-perishable foods.

Gay and Lesbian Day of Meditation

Breathe! Diamond Metta, an LGBT Buddhist society, is hosting a Gay and Lesbian Pride Day of Meditation. The fabulously terse Enkyo O'Hara, Sensei, one of the spiritual advisors to Diamond Metta and Abbess of the recently uprooted Village of Zendo, will preside over five hours of Shamatha Vipassana, a basic, unifying meditation/mindfulness practice of sitting silently in a simple posture and following the breath. Village Zendo, 588 B'way, Suite 910 (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-340-4656, 12 p.m., donation suggested.

SUN. 6/29

Ocularis

Despite Manhattan's snootiness about being the best place to find cutting-edge independent film, Brooklynites know that cinematic treasures abound over the bridge. Non-profit Ocularis started out in 1996 with the best venue of all: a rooftop. For the last seven years it has been screening the newest, artiest films out there. Each season it has a special program of short pictures (under 12 minutes) made in the last year. Local filmmakers from various genres who have submitted their works are known to come and discuss with the audience and their peers. Think of it as a night of diamonds in the rough, with you as the person who helps the jewel to emerge. Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-388-8713, 7, $6.

MON. 6/30

Isle of wight Festival Documentary

If the Isle of Wight Festival documentary simply captured Jimi Hendrix's last public performance, it would still be indispensable. But it offers much more: This is a music nerd's feast. Classic rock festival movie mainstays like The Who and Ten Years After are featured alongside stranger candidates, like party rocker Leonard Cohen and that cuddly teddy bear of jazz, Miles Davis. Joni Mitchell's onstage meltdown and footage of the production that went into the festival (as well as the riots that resulted) give the movie a human interest and a serious sense of tragedy. It's like watching Woodstock and Gimme Shelter at the same time. Part of the "Hang Ten" Documentary series, possibly followed by a Q&A with the director. Remote Lounge, 327 Bowery (2nd St.), 212-228-0228, 7, free.

TUES. 7/1

The Annotated Book of Five Rings

Written more than 300 years ago as a treatise on combat and strategy, The Book of Five Rings is one of the original self-help books, a classic used today by managers, martial artists and ordinary folk looking for an ancient wisdom-based "edge" over the competition. What secrets, if any, does it hold for you? Come find out when Hidy Ochiai discusses his new translation, A Way to Victory. Barnes & Noble, 675 6th Ave. (21st St.), 212-727-1227, 7, free.

Contributors: Adam Bulger, Christopher X. Brodeur, Chris Dohse, Art Janik, Mallory Jensen, Jim Knipfel, Hana Nakamura and Alexander Zaitchik.