WED Wed. 5/21 REV 99 Hosted by Captain Donald O’Finn at ...

REV 99

Hosted by Captain Donald O'Finn at Freddy's Bar in Prospect Heights, REV 99's shows are best described as a celebration involving the "sonic and visual collision" of videos and live music. With old B-film installations that will make you laugh, cringe and reflect, we're looking forward to throwing back some drinks and having our brains massaged at their last show this season. 485 Dean St. (6th Ave.), Bklyn, 718-622-7035, 9, free.

Jewish Comedy

What's the difference between a Jewish woman and a gentile one? The gentile tells her husband to take Viagra; a Jewish woman tells her husband to invest in Pfizer. What's the difference between Jewish comedy and non-Jewish comedy? In America there probably wouldn't be comedy as we know it without the Jewish humor of Mel Brooks, Sid Caesar, the Marx brothers and innumerable others (Johnny Carson doesn't celebrate Christmas, either). Tonight, women assert their place at the table of Jewish comedy with performances by Judy Gold, Jennifer Kirson and Karen Bergreen at an historic Lower East Side synagogue. Work up an appetite laughing, then hit Katz's Delicatessen. Eldridge Street Project, 12 Eldridge St. (betw. Canal & Division Sts.), 212-978-8800, 6, $6, $4 st./s.c.

Thurs. 5/22

Tomahawk & Friends

No, not the cruise missile. Tomahawk, featuring Mike Patton (of Faith No More, Fantomas and Mr. Bungle fame?did we just write "Mr. Bungle fame"?), throws down a geekshow for sure, with Dälek's dark, gritty grooves, in bizarre counterpoint to the pendulous rock/metal swoon of the Melvins. In other news, the first time we saw Skeleton Key was at a Celebrate Brooklyn! show at the Prospect Park bandshell with They Might Be Giants in 1995. Now that was some serious counterpoint. Irving Plaza, 17 Irving Pl. (15th St.), 212-777-6800, 7:30, $30.

Fri. 5/23

Monkey Town

"Lie on beds. Eat and drink. Watch and listen." That's how the organizers of this dinner-theater-esque performance describe Monkey Town. In Episode 1: Islands in the Stream, participants lie and eat in bed while watching one of four screens showing simultaneous 30-minute videos. The rotating soundtracks include Mat Maneri, Gold Sparkle and members of Antibalas. Four performances each Friday and Saturday in May result in a different experience every time. The 32 spots at each showing are filled on a first-come, first-served basis, and your ticket gets you a free drink. 222 Leonard St. (betw. Grand & Powers Sts.), Williamsburg, 718-482-3664, 7:30, 8:50, 10 & 11:10, $4.

New York Burlesque

Festival people in the know scoffed when the Village Voice did its splashy cover story about the return of burlesque?"Burlesque was back and it's over again!" they said. The 40-plus performers in the three-day New York Burlesque Festival beg to differ: MCed by the ever-present Murray Hill and happening at three venues, this bash is bound to tease and please even the most discriminating audience. Friday's show is at the Slipper Room; Saturday it's the Knitting Factory and Sunday it's brunch at the Marquee; with dancers ranging from Tofu Honey Pie to Jo Boobs, burlesque shows are alive and kicking. Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-253-7246, 9, $10.

Alex Skolnick

Falling somewhere between tweaker speed metal and squirrely Knitting Factory-style nerd-jazz: Alex Skolnick. The former lead guitar player for forgotten thrash also-rans Testament has maybe the best schtick in boho rock 'n' roll right now, performing expansive, improvisational explorations of stodgy classic rock and hair metal classics. His trio's album, Goodbye to Romance, contains weird, jazzy extrapolations of Ozzy, Scorpions and Aerosmith songs. Part of the night's fun will be figuring out which 6/8 time signature inverted melody piece is "Stairway to Heaven." Detour, 349 E. 13th St., (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-533-6212, 9:30, free.

Sat. 5/24

Rediscovering the Gowanus Canal

While stories about toxic creatures carrying off Brooklyn maidens remain completely unfounded, the mighty, glowing Gowanus Canal endures as a source of both fascination and horror. Yet over the past few years, the notorious waterway has seen a dramatic turnaround. The water's cleaner, for one, and for the first time in a long time, actual life can exist along its banks. To celebrate the rebirth of the Gowanus, Captain Bill Sheehan and the Red Dive performance group are combining forces to present an artistic, scientific and historic tour of the Gowanus aboard a 16-passenger pontoon boat. While Capt. Bill discusses species renewal, Red Dive will create an "episodic, multi-sensory" happening along the way, with film, performance and more. It'll be like Disney's "Adventureland" ride?but with industrial waste! Meet at 400 Carroll St. (betw. Bond & Nevins Sts.), 212-615-6797, hourly 12-4, $20 [repeats Sun. & Mon.].

Sun. 5/25

Night of a Shitload Of Stars

One day last year, the O'Debra Twins appeared out of nowhere and blew away much of the downtown performance scene with their deviant, unique and commanding?uh?comic perversity? If Lorne Michaels weren't a first-class imbecile, he'd hire these garishly dressed nasty girls with their wicked art to take over Saturday Night Live. Favorite bits include the two sharing a list of hobbies: "You know what I like to do? I like to crank call myself and hurt my own feelings." "Well, you know what I like to do? I like to freeze gonorrhea into a popsicle and then I lick it." You can catch them all around town doing their thing or you can see them in the Night of a Shitload of Stars with many other unusual talents, including Nachi (irresistably offensive rock anthems), the Lotus (two well-dressed maniacs destroying Electro), Radio Shack (two "robots" who play light-activated future-music) and much, much more. Arlene Grocery, 95 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.) 212-358-1633, 8, $5.

Mon. 5/26

Voices of Peace and Dissent

Ordinarily we avoid serious thought like the plague, but we dropped by the Tribeca Playhouse a few weeks back to check out the Worth Street Theater Company's ongoing Monday night reading series, Voices of Peace and Dissent from Ground Zero, and we weren't sorry. The series features New York actors reading poetry, letters, jokes, commentary, betises of the day and wisdom from the past, and it's a real whiff of the 60s?the good part, that is. Among the actors who have taken part are Kathleen Chalfant, Clare Higgins, Denis O'Hare and Donna Murphy?some of whom, we gather, are eager to return. 111 Reade St. (betw. W. B'way & Church St.), 212-868-4444, 8, $20.

Tues. 5/27

REMEMBERINGKenneth Rexroth

Yeah, yeah, he organized Ginsberg's first reading of "Howl," but Kenneth Rexroth is best remembered in his own right. A painter, translator, essayist, poet and philosopher, the co-founder of the San Francisco Poetry Center was giving new shape to American poetry and criticism as early as the 1920s. When the Beats rolled around, he was immediately dubbed the "godfather," and his Cellar readings helped define the West Coast Beat scene. Remember his voice tonight with readings from the newly published Complete Poems of Kenneth Rexroth, on Copper Canyon Press. Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery (betw. 1st Ave. & Bleecker St.), 212-614-0505, 7, $8.

Contributors: Christopher X. Brodeur, Adam Bulger, Art Janik, Mallory Jensen, Jim Knipfel, Mimi Kramer-Bryk, Kristina M. Ramos, Ned Vizzini, Alexander Zaitchik.