WED WED. 5/14 The José Flatfix We hesitate to use the ...

The José Flatfix

We hesitate to use the phrase "old-time string band" to describe the José Flatfix, because that might suggest humorless revivalists who do not rock. These guys do rock, but they do so without amplifiers, bad tattoos or much at all in the way of fanfare. In fact, they could probably tear shit up just sitting in your living room. Barring that, you're best off finding a homey place to enjoy this band, which features the genuine talents of local banjo legend Sean Condron and the lovely Sarah Alden, who can lay a fiddle over her shoulder and whup it like a bad boy. They're playing every Wednesday through 6/25 at Cafe Moto, 394 Broadway (Hooper St.), Williamsburg, 718-599-6895, 10:30, free.

Pandora's Box

An emulsion is a mixture in which all the constituent parts are whipped together without losing their unique character?mayonnaise, say, or a vinaigrette. How appropriate, then, that Galapagos Art Space, which is housed in a former mayonnaise factory, is hosting Pandora's Box, a show that combines the diverse talents of an elderly but hard-rocking poet, a variety performance artist, and three musical groups whose sounds in themselves are emulsions of the grandest kind?and all of them stirred down in good measure by sax queen Matana Roberts. In contrast to the outcome of the Greek myth referred to in the show's title, this night promises pleasant surprises for everyone. 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-782-5188, 7:30, $5.

THURS. 5/15

Nancy Sinatra

Any time, any place a Nancy Sinatra show is announced, the rumors start circulating that Lee Hazelwood's gonna make a surprise guest appearance and join her on stage for "Some Velvet Morning" or "Sand." Take our word for it?he's not. But you will get to see the very well-preserved Ms. Sinatra do that song about boots. Probably a couple of times. She'll likely do a few things from her more recent albums, too. And given that she's playing in her daddy's hometown, expect a few stories, a few old-timers in the crowd, and her abysmal post-mortem song, "It's For My Dad." Maxwell's, 1039 Washington St. (betw. 10th & 11th Sts.), Hoboken, 201-653-1703, 9, $20.

Chris Dohse

He doesn't dance every day, and he hasn't debuted choreography in six years. These days, Chris Dohse, the former director of dance/theater company Toothmother, spends more time in the critic's chair than in front of an audience. That all changes for the next three days. Why should you care? Because not only does his work not suck (as dance sometimes does), it's stellar. Tonight through Saturday, the Haphazard company, featuring Johanna Hegenscheidt, Aislinn MacMaster and Marta Miller, dances his new work, rongwrong, among other repertory. Dohse also recreates his arresting 1997 solo, RememBury Mine. Mulberry Street Theater, 70 Mulberry St. (Bayard St.), res. req. 212-349-0438, 8, $12 [through 5/17].

FRI. 5/16

Fetish Cocktail Party

Join The Baroness tonight for a Latex photo exhibit, a Cyber-fetish Latex fashion show, hors d'oeuvres and cocktails. No. Really. Tonight's party is part of the ongoing four-day NYC Fetish Marathon. With their intricately coded language and active interest in role-playing, it's clear that fetish enthusiasts are the D&D players of sexual deviants. Expect chains, whips and conversations about sex that teeter between the totally banal and the gutbustingly hilarious. The Baroness is offering a 20 percent discount on her latex products, so pick up something special for your next Rocky Horror screening. Fetish apparel required for entry. Alphabet Lounge, 104 Ave. C (7th St.), 212-780-0202, 5, $13.

SAT. 5/17

Kimya Dawson

This Moldy Peaches member's solo arrangements are spare, and her lyrics are straightforward. Alternately tender and tart, Kimya Dawson's wordplay's got more carnival than Coney Island: "Where Aleister Crowley milks cows in the dairy and the cows are the dowry for the dead girls he marries... The farmer in the dell is the devil." The entirety of her latest full-length, My Cute Fiend Sweet Princess, has been whirring in our brain for a solid six weeks, and we're not cranky in the slightest. We may, in fact, be smarter for it: One song spurred us to research the Schroedinger Equation. With Toby Goodshank, Phoebe Kreutz and others. Sidewalk Cafe, 94 Ave. A (6th St.), 212-473-7373, 9:30, free, two-drink min.

Survivor: Vietnam!

If you haven't yet been appalled by the depths to which the networks are sinking with their reality-tv programming, you probably will be sometime soon?a dozen or more are probably in the making for the summer. Amnesia Wars, a long-form improvisational comedy troupe, is getting a jump on the gun and carrying the tastelessness of the craze to its inevitable conclusion. They take as their starting point for their show the question of who would be sick enough to volunteer to be on a game show that takes place in a war zone and what would happen in such a contest. No doubt the satire will be bitingly funny, but let's just hope no tv executives get any bright ideas. Peoples Improv Theater, 154 W. 29th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-563-7488, 12 a.m., $5.

SUN. 5/18

Uberjerk

If you haven't heard any interesting live music yet this weekend, think about checking Uberjerk, a noise-folk act that writes mean pop songs then covers them with keyboard sludge and guitar grease. The lack of drums makes them a little freeform for some people, but you should find it strangely cleansing, despite the surface mess. No matter what your state of mind, we promise you'll walk out feeling melancholic and thoughtful. Korova Milk Bar, 200 Avenue A (betw. 12th & 13th Sts.), 212-254-8838, 9, free.

Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Whether or not you believe it, spring is in progress. And despite the alternating days of sunshine and rain, there is a place in the city where flowers are always blooming and calm prevails?the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. Live blues music, poetry readings and botanical art discussion serve as sideshow to the main attraction: the flowers. This Sunday's event is the second in the SpringFest celebration, which runs until June 15. Somewhere between the bluebells, wisteria and cherry blossoms, one is destined to find sanctuary, if not sanctity. Brooklyn Botanic Garden, 1000 Washington Ave. (Eastern Parkway), Brooklyn, 718-623-7200, 12, events free with admission.

MON. 5/19

Ichi the Killer

Tonight is the much-anticipated New York premiere of the viciously delicious Japanese import Ichi the Killer, so get to Anthology Film Archives early. It's tempting to use cliches like "brutal" or "controversial" in describing the film adaptation of the notorious comic book, but those words don't go deep or far enough. This is 129 minutes of Technicolor ultraviolence from the unique mind of director Takashi Miike and star Shinya Tsukamoto, who brought us Tetsuo: Iron Man. Lucky for blood, guts and torture hounds, Ichi the Killer has twice the violence as that classic with only half the concept. Critics call this the most disturbing piece of Japanese art ever made, which is not an easy thing to agree on. Dinner is not recommended beforehand. 32 2nd Ave. (2nd St.), 212-505-5181, 7 and 9:30, $8 [repeats Tues.].

TUES. 5/20

The Cramps

Still together after all these years?the original rockabilly band that's so popular and so old that their name serves as an adjective. Beyond veteran, beyond camp, beyond belief that they can still rock like it's 1976, the Cramps bring it home tonight for $25 a head. Expect that familiar and pathetic spectacle of punk-rock nostalgia: the leather-jacket-wearing guys with receding hairlines trying to pogo and then complaining about their bad knees, and their pink-haired wives worrying that the babysitter is too busy blowing her hoodlum boyfriend to watch lil' Taylor. Irving Plaza, 17 Irving Pl. (15th St.), 212-777-6800, 8, $27, $25 adv.

Contributors: Adam Bulger, Katharine Crane, Morgan Intrieri, Jim Knipfel, Alexander Zaitchik.