Two Virgins Two Virgins I lost my virginity on my ...

I lost my virginity on my 16th birthday, on the night of my high school's junior prom. The prom theme was "End of the Innocence"?after the Don Henley song, not my deflowering, though I've always wondered how many others took advantage of that unfortunate title. I wore a white dress for the occasion, with white flowers in my hair. My date was a guy named James, my first real boyfriend, who lived in Connecticut. He came down to New Jersey for the entire weekend, and we spent the whole time trying to dodge my parents and practice our new horizontal hobby.

James wrote to me from the train on his way back to Connecticut after that weekend. And again from math class, and chemistry class, and on the school bus every day going home. Our year-long relationship was filled with daily love letters, both passionate and inane.

Now both sides of the correspondence live in a pink flowered box in the back of my closet. I was idly hoping that one of us would become famous someday, and the letters would become valuable. No luck yet. But reading about my sex life at age 16 is, as they say, priceless.

May 29, 1990

Dearest Meredith,

Well, here's my first piece of correspondence since leaving you in Moorestown. God, I miss you so much! All I can think about is seeing you again. I can't bear to think about all of this time away from you. My mind is constantly preoccupied with either thoughts of spending time with you in the future, or with the memories of this last weekend. I love you, Meredith, and I hope that I made you feel happy. I don't think that any sexual joy could come close to how happy and excited you make me feel simply by loving me.

I'm glad that we made love. Not only for the physical aspects, but also because it drew us closer (or at least I hope so). I don't take sex lightly. I shared myself with you because I love you, and you mean the world to me. As you know, I'm shy?even prudish?when it comes to sex. It took a great deal for me to be able to expose myself to you. Usually I'm self-conscious as hell. It's hard enough for me to take a shower in the boys' locker room, much less lay next to a beautiful girl in her bedroom in broad daylight. I love you, so it was a tad easier, but in some ways that makes me even more nervous. I fear that you'll reject me.

You have a gorgeous body. There's nothing I'd enjoy more than to sit for hours and explore your body. A guided tour would be nice. The next time I see you I'd like to take you someplace where we don't have to rush, or fear being caught. Someplace where we can be together, take our time, and enjoy ourselves to the fullest. Someplace I can bask fully in your beauty. I love you.

I wish there was some way we could go further. I mean, we are "going out," and we've become sexually active together. I just wish there was some way we could consummate our relationship more. Maybe I'm talking marriage? I don't know. I just want you to be mine forever.

Please love me forever.

I love you.

Love,

James

December 6, 1990

Dear Meredith,

Hello. Just a quick note to ask you to please return those ugly, Goodwill items of mine that you still have. True, I have not been able to send back all of your stuff, but most of it, and I have not received anything from you.

I know, I should be used to it. But anyway? I have found quite a bit of the things I should have sent you before, but I am not going to send them quite yet, not until I receive a nice big package in the U.S. Mail. You got what you wanted, for me to have to wait like you did, but now I'm tired of playing this game. All I want is to get rid of your stuff, and get my stuff back ASAP. Please don't extend this any further. I am certain, for you have told me as well as shown me through your actions, that you want to end this finally.

As I have moved from New London and now live near my parents in Holliston, I am giving you their address below. Please send the package care of my mother. I haven't gotten my new phone number yet, but even if I had, I'd prefer that you write, because I don't feel comfortable with the possibility of having to talk to you directly, or having Rebecca answer your call. So, if you need to contact me, please send anything to my parents' address in Holliston.

By the way, considering you'll be getting this letter around that time, happy anniversary?December 10, 1989.

James

February 6, 1991

Dear Meredith,

I am writing to you regarding James' possesions that you still have, and your possesions that he still has. I am eager, as you probably also are, to return these items to you. While unpacking James' things when he moved we set aside all of your belongings. They are boxed and ready to go, but we are just waiting for James' things to be returned before we send them to you. James just wants to send them to you directly, but I feel that it's best if we wait for you to send his belongings to his parents' house first. According to him, he has sent you part of what he owes you, and you have sent him nothing, nor have expressed why you haven't.

Please send all of James' things in care of his mother in Holliston. As soon as it is received, the box containing your things will be sent out to you.

It contains various pictures, assorted jewelry, and clothing. We expect to hear from you within a month. If we don't, then I won't be responsible for what happens to your belongings. We just want to return them to you as quickly as possible, as we keep tripping over the box.

Thank you,

Rebecca

February 8, 1991

James, darling?

Once again, I'm staggered by your maturity. I should like to think that by the time one nears the age of 18, one reaches the stage where one can write one's own letters?obviously, in your case, this is not so.

I'm not wasting my time feeling hostility toward you, but it's nice to know that you and Rebecca are thinking about me.

Please stop harassing me.

I did feel somewhat sorry for you, since you must be utterly bereft without me, but your consistently infantile behavior has erased all respect I may have had for you. Face the fact that you'll never replace me in your life, and stop trying to invade my much improved existence.

Tell me, is English Rebecca's native language? It certainly didn't seem that way, judging from her lovely epistle. It was terribly quaint, James?it was also hideously puerile. A piece of advice for you and the missus: if you continually trip over my belongings, move them. Or, take the most expedient route and return them. I still have your grandmother's locket, and I'm going to pawn it if my things are not returned within a week.

Hope to hear from you soon!