Too Long at the Fair?

THE HEADLINE in the leftist publication Editor & Publisher will later gush that "Journalists Rock at First Media Bash in Big Apple." That sounds better than saying a bunch of journalists are milling around the giant mall that is the Time Warner Center at Columbus Circle. The occasion is the NYC Media Welcome gala for the Republican National Convention, and it's a pretty neat way to spend a Saturday night. The stores are available for shopping, and there's an open bar every six feet. The entire place has also become an upscale free food court.

The food is especially welcome, since I'm not even on the third floor before I've combined plenty of alcohol and pharmaceuticals in an irresponsible fashion. I'm not being some kind of gonzoid, either. The pharmaceuticals are over-the-counter, and the alcohol is nothing more manly than Kahlua-mostly because the pastel drinks look even more like an assortment of candy.

This isn't a gathering of hard-drinking, right-wing tough guys. You can tell because there's only one protestor outside. All the other hippies are showing respect for their corporate leftist allies. Things are so bad that James Taranto even speaks to me. The popular conservative columnist for OpinionJournal.com must really be lonely if he's bothering to try and remember my name.

As it turns out, Taranto's trying to convince a nice Asian gal that he's some kind of noted figure. This involves a Sophie's Choice between socializing with me, or New York Sun social columnist Gary Shapiro. Them's slim pickings. At least Shapiro will helpfully later report that Taranto is seen inside the Borders bookstore. He doesn't note that Taranto's in the store to show that Asian gal a copy of his acclaimed book Presidential Leadership: Rating the Best and the Worst in the White House.

You can't really blame the guy for taking advantage of an opportunity like that-especially since the Borders is showing a rare bipartisan approach by even displaying books like Taranto's and Unfit for Command. Anyway, it isn't long before Taranto is surrounded by plenty of other admirers who are far more important than I am. I can tell because Taranto doesn't bother introducing me to any of them.

That's okay, though. I'm trying to avoid insular New Media types creating a conservative cocoon that might well cost Republicans the election. It's also tough to successfully head out while avoiding the CNN personalities paraded by Time Warner. I'd have rather avoided Jim McLaughlin summing up media elitism while heading up an escalator, gesturing to his fellow journalists and saying, "I like my public, but?"

Anyone wondering how great life was during the RNC could see for themselves from the Sky Club at the Met-Life building during Tuesday's gathering for the Republican Majority for Choice. The view is even more impressive when accompanied by the sight of Park Ave. deserted at rush hour. This will turn out to be the only actual RNC event that I bother attending. It'll also be the only RNC event that writers from the Boston Globe and New York Times will attend with anything like an open mind.

After all, what's not to like about Republicans who are in favor of abortion rights? There's more of us than the mainstream press will ever care to admit, but they're always ready to act like we're an endangered minority. It's pleasant to be at a right-wing gathering where the media actually provides some sympathetic coverage. Nobody even minds that it's a real socialite scene, punctuated with fabulous nametags for the likes of Dot Straight and Prue Bliss.

That mainstream media includes Christine Kearney, who's covering the event for the Reuters "news" service. I ask her if she's reporting to Todd Eastham, the impartial Reuters news editor who recently responded to a press release from the National Right to Life Committee with a ludicrous and insulting email. She claims to have never heard of Eastham. "I'm sure it couldn't have been Reuters," she adds. "It must have been someone else." Kearney's laughing while she says that, though. Maybe she just forgets to include the wink.

I'm more troubled by the presence of a representative from Planned Parenthood. I'm usually fine with NARAL, but Planned Parenthood's many idiocies don't need to be dignified with Republican support. I decide to get a quote about this, and remember how New York State senator Nancy Larraine Hoffman was eager to drone on about herself while I was trapped in an elevator with her earlier.

Hoffman's certainly smiling as I turn on my tape recorder and ask, "Does the Republican Majority for Choice have to be so inclusive that they align themselves with organizations that promote irresponsible sex for 13-year-old girls? I'm referring, of course, to Planned Parenthood and their Teenwire website."

"Um," replies Hoffman, "I'm sorry, but we're not on the same page at all here. When you ask leading questions with value judgments built in, and erroneous information-"

"It's not erroneous. I can?"

I'm trying to say, "I can provide many examples from the site," but Hoffman's already hightailing away from me. In fact, she's off to chat with that Planned Parenthood rep. I'm left to consider pursuing a similar line of questioning with the other politicians, but decide there's really no reason to dwell on guilt by association.

Besides, anything confrontational would interfere with my taking advantage of a socially liberal open bar. And this is, after all, a time to celebrate.

The food and drink are eventually interrupted by a long series of speakers. Libby Pataki best summarizes simple conservative logic, noting how "personal freedom includes a woman's right to choose." Former senator Alan Simpson also provides some inspiring thoughts on common sense. Mayor Bloomberg also shows up, and boasts of how amazed he is that there are Republicans who are offended that he supports abortion rights and gay rights. Bloomberg then shows his own prejudice by suggesting that he was also real brave to attend the Latino Coalition event. I suddenly understand why James Taranto voted for Mark Green.

We could also do without a celebration of choice from District Attorney Jeannine Pirro, whose own history of choice-ranging from a past husband to recent cosmetic surgery-is less than inspiring. Things sadly end on a really lame note with the aforementioned Sen. Hoffman. She's up for reelection, and she thinks it's terribly unfair that her 20-year stint of living off our taxes is endangered by a Republican challenger who thinks she's too leftist. "This isn't the liberal state we imagine it to be," she warns. More appallingly, Hoffman dramatically yelps that her opponent's candidacy is a "terrorist assault on New York!"

At least Hoffman won't have to worry about her idiocy being reported by the sycophants in the mainstream press. They're temporarily our sycophants. In that same spirit, nobody's going to goof on former California governor Pete Wilson for claiming that being pro-choice means that you would never "impose [an abortion] on anybody else."

Then I'm walking along E. 44th, and pass an old lady waving a sign about the evil Republicans wanting to take away abortion rights. Just for laughs, I flash my Republican Majority for Choice nametag and ask what she's complaining about. My big angle is that the Republicans certainly allow more debate within their party. Our conversation's fairly polite, but gets creepy when the woman leans in to make an important point.

"Remember," she intones, "diversity dispenses opposition." Yeesh. Leave it to a Democrat to rationalize dispensing with diversity. o