This Week's Horoscope

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

For the first time, a solar system remarkably similar to ours has been identified, orbiting a star like our sun called 55 Cancri, in the constellation Cancer. Its immense, Jupiter-like planet helps create conditions for a habitable zone that could contain an Earth-like planet. Naturally, as we determine the likeliest places for similar life to exist, our chances of making contact with alien intelligence increase. Of course we now face the dilemma you're confronting (since the likelihood of your own longed-for "first contact" has just increased exponentially): What to say?

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Despite your brilliance, comparing yourself to the great masters is just depressing. Any one of them outclasses you, and their combined work is enough to seriously daunt ordinary mortals. So you'll never be as prolific an inventor as Thomas Edison, or as witty a speaker as Mark Twain or as inspired a sculptor as Camille Claudel. That's no excuse to slink to your dumpy hometown to see the high school classmates who got stuck there, saddled with pedestrian lives. Yeah, doing so would make you feel momentarily good about yourself, but it would also avoid the lesson you really need to learn: Why compare yourself to anyone, great or pathetic? The only standard that really matters is your own.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

The impracticality of the adage, "Problems should be solved by those who see them," is obvious: some people, like you observant Virgos, see more problems than you personally have the power to fix, and you often wear yourselves too thin trying to do it all anyway. Create a saner reality for yourself: amend the motto to read, "Problems should be addressed by those who see them." In other words, remember that delegation is not a sin. The next time your inner goad nags, "If you don't, who will?" tell it: "I'll find someone."

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Usually, the word "educational," especially when disguised as something fun or, God forbid, artistic, makes you?and most people?retch. Still, that doesn't mean that art shouldn't make more than a casual attempt to instruct or inform. You have important lessons to share with the world. Don't tone down their influence in your work?whatever it is?because you think it will impinge on your success or popularity. It's possible to be wildly successful and still keep it smart (I cite The West Wing or anything by Barbara Kingsolver as current evidence). Try it and see.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Not so long ago, you opened the floodgates to your core. Someone asked you to. Unfortunately, you were both washed away by the tidal force of all that stored-up passion. You ended up in the tallest tree in town with other flotsam and jetsam, while your suitor was swept all the way out to sea, never to be seen again. Since then, you've been hard at work on a new emotional infrastructure, one that can help you control the flow so it's never more than a little overwhelming. Now that it's almost time to test your new heart-design, consider opening it all the way. The fact that your last wooers were washed away speaks more to their quality than yours. Your new one might settle for nothing less than the full force of your uncensored soul.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

As an exercise, I order you to construct a fort made from overturned chairs, bedsheets and pillows. Have a water-balloon fight with someone. Play tug-of-war with a dog until he gets tired of it. I mean it. Really do these things. Your most precious childlike impulses are at risk of slipping away, for lack of use. Believe me, losing your ability or desire to play?even temporarily?is no laughing matter, which is part of the problem. Don't let it happen. Go outside and spin until the only thing you can do is fall down laughing while trying not to puke.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

It's enough to make anyone cynical?to see corporations and governments now suffering because of the shortsighted actions of their predecessors, and still pursuing short-term gain at the expense of long-term sustainability. Even now, when myriad disasters seem imminent, almost nothing changes, not when there's money to be made by maintaining the status quo. I'm appealing to you Caps because you often occupy positions of power. I don't expect you to save the world (though I hope you'll choose to do that, anyway), just do your part: Are the activities you're personally responsible for safely sustainable? I don't think I'm being too much of a hardass if I ask you to make sure that the world will be slightly better off for your having been here.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In Minority Report, crime prevention is given new dimensions, since they've developed a way to predict misdeeds and apprehend offenders before they have a chance to break the law. This whole concept might seem eerily familiar to you, since the last couple weeks you've had a keen eye for potential troublemakers and accurately pointed the finger?at least in the privacy of your own heart?at more than one wrongdoer. Still, you shouldn't get carried away with your own infallibility. I predict you'll be mistaken at least once in the near future, and you'll be glad you didn't come riding in on your high horse. It's a long way down from up there.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

I dreamt you were directing the production of a mythic porno, with mighty centaurs fucking in a sunlit glade, Perseus playing show-and-tell with Medusa in the mirror and the Kraken finally having his way with a gorgeous young virgin on the rocks amid crashing surf. This sexy epic was hardly your life's work; in fact, it was merely a side project you'd taken on as a lark. But I saw the potential for it to become one of your proudest, most acclaimed achievements. A tiny little venture you've been contemplating (or even begun) could sprout into something big. Acknowledge that potential: give it room enough to do so.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

A tick values its own life. I know this much because I picked 33 of them off my dog this morning. Roughly half of them were bloated with his blood, yet I still had to momentarily grapple with remorse before I drowned them in the toilet bowl. As they feebly struggled to save themselves, I wondered if anything else valued ticks. (Do they pollinate any plants, or feed some creature?) If I knew their eco-worth, I'd at least have to feel guiltier before I killed them. Now, you're nothing like a tick. But there are those who doubt your usefulness. You might want to prove how helpful?even vital?you are to the project at hand, before those assholes do their best to pick you off and flush you.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Taureans are famously good confidence-keepers, and you're also renowned for being tight-lipped about certain specifics, like your income or emotions. But you're not good at tolerating secrets you're not in on. Still, won't you consider the possibility that you're better off not knowing? Mystery is often preferable to certainty; the former can be alluring and glamorous, the latter dreary. Which is better: a fabulously spooky haunted house or an old man in a rubber mask wielding ropes and pulleys? Be more inspired than the Scooby gang and allow the minor villains in your life their illusions?they're better than the horrifyingly boring realities underneath.

Gemini (May21-June 20)

This week holds your best opportunity all summer for swift multiplication of your personal fortune. Naturally, it all depends on what you're willing to wager in the first place. It would be safer to not bet anything at all and improve your lot the old-fashioned way, through slow and steady hard work. You don't have much time to deliberate; the roulette wheel is already in motion. Will you take the long odds and put all your money on your best guess? In the last few seconds before you make up your mind, consider this factor: If you win too many times in a row, they kick you out of the casino.