This Week's Horoscope

| 16 Feb 2015 | 04:40

    Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You're like the boy/girl in the bubble. At some point, someone decided that you had so many players and props in your life that there wasn't room for any more. Since then, you've occupied a sort of sphere, totally busy with the jobs, duties, responsibilities, relationships, projects, tasks and neuroses that comprise your life. Meanwhile, new people, opportunities and obsessions are batting feebly at the plastic barrier, like moths fluttering against a lighted window. You probably never noticed them before. Maybe you're happy in your unchanging, safe balloon. Fine: stop reading. As for the rest of you: it's time to slice open the side. Let those risky new elements in. Some of your long-term pet projects will escape, but I'm gambling you'll be so amused and excited by your new Fidos and Rovers you won't even notice. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) You're just finishing a long, soothing bath, surrounded by candlelight and the exotic aromas of scented oils. You feel open, relaxed and too vulnerable to emerge into the world outside, with its ringing phones, pressing engagements and social obligations. I wish I could sew you a dress of flower petals and steel. Its smooth, velvety interior would help you carry some of this serenity into the chaos outside, while the sparkling hardness of its exterior would preserve your tenderness. The bad news is, in the physical world, such a garment would be completely impractical. The good news is, in the emotional one, it's not only possible, it's exactly what you need. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Believe me, I'm familiar with the thrill of the extreme. But one doesn't need to live there all the time. There's a middle ground. Sure, that's where the boring people live, but so do many possibilities that aren't allowed on the fringes of the spectrum. Your new thing is special, but it can't survive long in the extravagant niche you've created for it; that's like asking a bird to live in a submarine. Give it some room to breathe. Don't think: "This is the love of my life," if you can imagine: "This is a love of my life." This may seem like a cop-out at first, but in actuality it's even more revolutionary (and realistic). It'll last a lot longer, too?which makes it even more special. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) I spotted a black widow spider in her lair. Swaddled by thousands of nearly invisible threads of web and the dangling husks of her many victims, she seemed the epitome of gothic elegance. I pointed out the beauty of her shiny black abdomen with its scarlet hourglass to the friends in whose home she resided. They freaked. I understand. You might flip out, too, when you discover the danger that's nearby. But just like the venomous arachnid, it's not as great a danger as it appears, especially now that you're aware of it. And by allowing it to stay close, you'll not only be privy to great beauty, but you might learn something about yourself, too. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Oh, shit. Daddy's leaving the firm. He's bored?apparently, reason enough to part ways with the partners who've stood by him and made him a lot of money. Next week he's taking up with Mercury, that shifty-eyed, devious and wickedly clever ruler of both Virgo and Gemini. Though you're dubious about Papa Saturn's new alliance, you can't deny it sounds exciting. Though you personally wouldn't trust him farther than you could throw him, Mercury is fun to be around and admittedly brilliant. The point is, if the stalwart ruler of your careful sign makes a change like this, maybe you could?or should?consider one, too. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Are you the devil? It occasionally seems that way. I can certainly see evidence of your wickedly subtle, insidious brand of evil and powerful effect on others. You Avatar of Darkness, you! Other times, I perceive you as an angel, shedding light into people's lives and, once in a while, actually inspiring someone to do something cool or funny or great. Actually, you're angelic and demonic, and everything in between, capable of great good or evil. Sometimes you don't know which it is until after the fact, but sometimes (like this week), you get to choose. Which will it be? Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) I'm a chocolate snob. I only eat trash chocolate in the most desperate of situations. "If it's not at least 65 percent cocoa," I sneer, pointing my nose skyward, "why bother?" It's just that I've had the best?anything else is a pale, almost pointless imitation. I gather that really high-quality cocaine can inspire similar loyalty; I wouldn't know, I've never had any. All I know is that if all I'd ever had were Kit Kats and Snickers bars, I'd never be the chocojunkie I am today. So count yourself lucky?you may be addicted to love (in all the best and only some of the worst ways), but it's only because you've had a taste of the good stuff. Aries (March 21-April 19) Yeah, I know, I have what they call an "artistic temperament." Yeah, so the fuck what? Fuck off! Shit. I'm sorry. Forgive me. I need you. Come back. But not that close. I mean, give me some fucking space! How's a guy supposed to write with you breathing down his neck all the time? Shit. I'm sorry again. I don't know what came over me. Maybe I'm just living up to what other people say about me, letting others define what my life's about, instead of the other way around. Sound familiar? Taurus (April 20-May 20) My fortune cookie tells me: "Cooperate with those who have both know-how and integrity." Easier said than done. Knowledge is power?it can get you money or political clout or practically anything else. It corrupts. Fortunately for the rest of us, there're a few characters who can resist the temptations of greed or power and live up to the highest standard of their professions. Most are Taureans. When tantalized by the forbidden fruit this week, prove me right. You'll thank yourself later for being able to resist, and I'll thank you for giving me someone to cooperate with. Gemini (May 21-June 20) According to some feng shui book I glanced at once, it's a bad idea to sleep with your body pointed toward an open door or window. Why did this tidbit (which probably isn't even accurate) stick with me, and not some trivia about the placement of mirrors or where to plant a tree? Probably the same reason you're fixated on an idea you heard years ago: Not because it's truly factual or relevant to your life, but because it appeals to your sensibilities. No more, no less. So if you're tired of this self-imposed limitation, shrug it off. It's that simple. Cancer (June 21-July 22) As a Cancer, ruled by water, you're subject to great tides, cataclysmic changes, and responsible for great power to support life or wreak destruction. Ironically, the key to your stability and overall contentedness (no one alive is ever totally free from ups and downs) is flow. When water freezes into rigid ice, it can crack, splinter and break. Ouch. When it's superheated (as you feel when consumed with jealousy or anger) it vaporizes and disperses. Only in liquid state is it at once completely flexible and vastly powerful. Isn't that how you'd like to be? So be that way: flow. [Caeriel@yahoo. com](