How many shootings will it take? Is gun control such an anathema to the American consciousness that we'll continue letting children die instead of requiring legislative action? Believe me, I wish the government didn't have to intervene. I wish that every gun-owner would take seriously the intense personal responsibility that must accompany his weapon. Clearly, some don't, or can't. Strict governmental restrictions (as exist in virtually every other developed nation; opening fire at school is purely an American phenomenon) are necessary, and desirable. You probably find such necessities repugnant. Sometimes, though, like this week, you just have to weigh evils and make a decision. Do so, before more people suffer for the status quo.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
My choices this week: pay rent or parking tickets? Feed my dog or eat well myself? Could I be more broke? Probably, but when it's down to basic decisions like these (naturally, house and dog take precedence over myself and those despicable meter maids), the distinction seems irrelevant. It's been ages since you've been as poor as me, but that doesn't exempt you from difficult decisions. Actually, like mine, the decisions themselves are easy?it's the reality of having to make them that's hard to accept. Nevertheless, you're eligible for the same comfort I am: There are many people on this planet subject to much more heart-wrenching choices than those before you. Make your selection and shut up about it. Spend the time you would've spent bitching thanking your lucky stars you're not in their shoes.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
Back off. Let the poor victim of your verbal knockout catch his breath. Although it's tempting to deliver a few extra kicks while your target is laid out gasping for air, maintain some restraint. The cheers onlookers delivered as you administered a righteous beating to a longtime oppressor would quickly turn to jeers if you turned spiteful. The difference between justified revolt and petty meanness can be a subtle one. Begin the new social order with fairness and generosity, the lack of which spurred this confrontation in the first place. This week, be a benevolent enforcer of justice, not a tyrannical dictator of your own will.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
When it comes to defending your home turf and the people who preside there, you can get downright nasty. You may draw the line before kicking the shit out of homeless people or prank-calling old ladies at 3 a.m., but not far short of it. While your ethics have been vacationing in Tahiti or Baja (certainly nowhere near home), you've been waltzing on morally precarious ground. You sometimes look at yourself as ruler, defender and provider for your tiny kingdom. Consider this: What happens when the denizens discover their king is tyrannical, their knight-protector amoral and their nourishment stolen? They revolt. Look to your code of honor this week, and make sure all your actions (not just one or two of them) abide by it, or you'll be the only one sitting at your round table before long.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
I love Friday the 13th. It's not that I don't believe in bad luck. Unfortunately, I'm a firm believer in the fickle tides of circumstance. I just don't think this combination is anything to fear. Perhaps it's unlucky for superstitious Christians, horror movie aficionados or blind followers of unreasoning tradition. According to pagans, though, the number 13 is fortunate. The natural world concurs (it's the number of moons per year). So is it good or bad? The truth is, you have the power to make your own luck, especially this Friday. You decide?it's sure to work out exactly as you imagine it.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Ancient myths are rife with forested glades, lush mountainsides and sparkling grottoes filled with sex-crazed satyrs, nymphs and mer-people, all eagerly welcoming any visitor who happened upon their charmed idyll. Most of these legends end tragically when the cries of "Fresh meat!" that greeted wanderers became obviously about more than just sexual hunger. Not so for you. You may encounter your own fantastic version of a flock of fawning fauns, all of whom are much more likely to eat you out than literally eat you. Being consumed by your own desires is not a huge risk here, due to your lifetime of self-control, so why not indulge them at least a little?
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Your holographic camouflage suit may help you blend in at raves, but only makes you stand out, glaringly, anywhere else. Your outspoken sarcasm is delightful among your hip, urban friends but it's a bit off-putting to strangers and intergenerational relations. Your charming chitchat may go over well at parties and on the talk-show circuit, but it's not appropriate when a friend needs you to help cope with the death of a parent. Is it possible you've become too specialized? Branch out. Revive, remember or resurrect some forgotten facets of yourself, and restore your status as a versatile and competent general practitioner of life.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
I see coyotes daily. They're as reclusive and alluring as celebrities, darting out of sight whenever they can, and clearly more comfortable among their own kind. In some places, coyotes are feared and destroyed, because of the potential damage they can cause to livestock. There's very little consideration given to the fact that in many local ecosystems, coyotes represent a much-needed key predator, necessary to keep other species from breeding out of control, and the impact they actually have on cows and sheep is almost negligible (especially when compared to things like foot-and-mouth disease). Ranchers still demonize them, irrationally. Your own current antagonist is only doing what it was designed, born or trained to do. Don't fight nature. Try running with the wild dogs and howling at the moon instead; it's more fun.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
I so rarely draw up the sharpened portcullis guarding my most vulnerable places. But you have a way of making people lower their drawbridges, extending pathways over their lethal moats. It's your honest enthusiasm and obvious goodwill that open so many doors for you. This week is no exception. In fact, your smile will open so many gates, windows and zippers this week you won't have time to go through them all. Choose wisely, and don't look back.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
I used to be more obviously "enlightened," in the politically correct sense. For example, I espoused aversion to mainstream, mindless diversions like television, renounced politics in favor of spiritual pursuit and eschewed superfluous trends like fashion or current events. But after years of maintaining the same tenets, I realized that to be a dynamic, growing person, I needed to change. That meant opening myself to things I never used to be open to. The moment you feel like you have all the answers is when you're actually furthest from that point. Renew your quest for universal truth and discover it again, in the journey itself, even if that means watching the idiot box or relearning the mindless joys of professional sports.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Brilliant. In a McCarthy-esque gesture of Cold War renewal, President Bush ordered the deportation of 50 Russian diplomats. His callous banishment of Russian diplomats seems to reflect old, conservative ideas about Russia, not so much a modern assessment of their situation. I mention it because your own motives might seem founded in fearful or vengeful ideas, at least to someone who doesn't know better. Make sure you're on the up-and-up with everything you do. It's too early to impeach you, but that won't always be true.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
You poor dog. Trapped in the solar oven of your car under a relentless sun, ventilated only by inadequate slivers of open window, you have no recourse but to watch and wait for your benefactor to return. It's a cruel world when the ones we love the most unwittingly plunge us into these little hells. Luckily, your own unpleasant circumstances aren't as bad as they seem. For instance, if you were that poor hound, you'd still have blessings to count: your savior is likely to return before the heat gives you brain damage, and having the longest and most talented tongue of anyone you know is nothing to bark at, either.
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