This Week's Horoscope

The travelogue of your week, converted to road-trip format for easier navigation: The first five days we swerved around twisting, narrow mountain roads. We were constantly rewarded with stunning scenic views and the satisfaction of navigating challenging terrain with ease, but we didn't get very far, as the crow flies. Just as we emerged from the foothills at week's end, the stereo died, somewhat mysteriously, but we chose not to investigate because we'd just hit the highway, which was straight and flat and pierced the distant horizon. It was our chance to really make some headway, so we said screw having a stereo, rolled down the windows, gunned the engine and sang.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Dislike can be objective, but more often it stems from something I call The Mirror Effect: your own worst facets reflected in someone else. It's painful to be around someone who constantly reminds you of your shortcomings. Surmounting this kneejerk reaction requires a conscious act of will, along with a widened margin of self-acceptance. You have some amazing incentive to overcome your aversion to reflections of your own worst traits, since those you hate the most can be your best allies this week?and, depending on how well you transcend your judgment, possibly for a long time to come.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Some scientists believe that early man's partnership with wolves may have given our species the edge over the brawnier Neanderthals. It certainly makes sense; by all accounts early homo sapiens were, by far, smaller and frailer, and possibly not as intelligent in certain ways. Now that your survival is as tenuous as that of our ancient ancestors, consider duplicating their strategy to deal with your adversary, who's bigger, stronger or faster than you: they teamed up with packs of efficient killers in a mutually beneficial arrangement that has survived millennia. This week, pick your allies as well as they did, and you'll kick ass too.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

I don't buy the astrological bullshit that arbitrarily assigns an area of the human body to each sign (Aries gets the forehead, with each consecutive sign getting the next section down, leaving you guys with those humble, underrated appendages, the feet). However, I'm willing to go out on a limb with my own radical conclusion: you can tell how a Pisces treats her heart by how she takes care of her feet. If they're callused, does she pumice them and slather them in lotion to make them soft and resilient again? Does she paint the nails and show them off, or keep them smothered and hidden at all times? Could you be kinder to your feet? Yes? I bet you could be kinder to your heart, too.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Even new beginnings are a process. You might have to start over seven times before you get it right. But that's okay; you understand that it's nearly impossible to get from starting point A to destination D without stopping by B and C along the way. Wielding that awareness, start making your New Year's resolutions this week, while it's still a month away. You have a chance for some phenomenal?and spiritually lucrative?changes, come 2003, if you can hit upon the right combination of new attitudes and ideas. That's going to entail some experimenting, trial-and-error, which will require time. Get started now.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

According to the Evangelical Environmental Network, their Lord and Savior is pissed about pollution. They're launching a campaign called "What Would Jesus Drive?" to encourage people to use more environmentally friendly vehicles. Putting aside the concept of ecological irresponsibility as sin, can you follow their example? When was the last time you applied what you purport to believe in to your daily life? Astrological conditions indicate this would be an excellent time to implement concrete changes that bring your life closer to your own ideological ideal.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

People joke about your split personality, but secretly they're impressed with your keen efficiency. Unlike some other duality-embracing signs, your inner diversity doesn't slow you down. You're capable of encompassing contradiction without getting bogged down grappling with indecision. However, despite your phenomenal talent for swift and shrewd choices, I'm begging you to slow down. Impulsively choosing a path would be as bad as overthinking it (another mistake to avoid). Some of your possible roads lead to unfinished bridges or thick, impassable barriers. Take a minute or three to really consider which way is best; despite the delay, it's bound to be quicker than having to retrace your steps.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Tradition sucks. Thanks for being courageous or desperate enough to break free of limiting ideas about "how things are done." You know better. Last time, you followed all the rules and the situation still blew up in your face. You're justifiably bored with that illusion of predictability. It may be much scarier being a pioneer into emotional frontier land, but that's all that's left. Now it's just you and the truth of how it's been all along: You can never know what to expect, despite what you're taught or told. Don't be afraid, venturing into that unknowable landscape. Be thrilled.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Psychologically, you're smack dab in the middle of your two best astrological allies: Aries may be 70 percent enthusiasm?it's easy to get him excited about a project?but only 30 percent follow-through, so you can't bank on him sticking with it. It's much harder to wrangle a commitment from those self-reliant Sagittarians, but once you do, they can usually be counted on to see it through. That information could help you choose confederates for your current plots, but more importantly, it could give you insight into your own psyche: right now you need more Sagittarian energy in your life?internally and externally. In other words, be wary of jumping onto a new wagon this week, but if you do, ride it all the way to the end of the road?and bring some friends.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

My Virgo roommate Amy couldn't stand the infestation of mice that plagued our house in Santa Fe?it bothered her so profoundly and persistently that she could barely sleep at night. But she was also too kindhearted to be effective. She tried an endless and oft-comical variety of imaginative solutions to rid our home of the little vermin, including everything from asking them, in her nicest voice, to go, to humane new-age traps they were much too smart for. Occasionally, like poor Amy, you'll be faced with choosing between a beloved idea about yourself and actually solving a problem. The worst thing you can do is waffle. Kill the damn rodents, already, or add their names to the lease.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Your internal seesaw is whacked. It may be depressing if you're one of those Libras with her scale out of balance, with so much on one side you can barely move, but consider yourself fortunate. Most of you are in a worse quandary, switching dramatically from one extreme mode to another, forgetting that any state between comatose and caffeine-tweaked even exists. Luckily this is an excellent week to bring your psychic scale to a balanced state that's actually reasonable. If your teeter-totter is all play or all toil, it's easy to fix: get to work, or take time off. But if it's overloaded on both sides, it's time to ditch some stuff and give yourself some slack. There's a huge spectrum between frenetic and unconscious. Occupy some new spaces on it.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Public opinion regarding your sign is flying so high, it'd be hard to find a jury to convict you of the crimes your tribemates are traditionally accused of. In the past year, your astrological brethren have remade the Scorpio image more successfully than any high-paid p.r. firm ever could. You've shaken past impressions that you're a petty, vicious, poisonous motherfucker. Now, you're a thoughtful, sensitive and powerful warrior with the courage to stand by your convictions. Of course, the public is fickle. This week, you have the opportunity to perform another locally great deed, and solidify your upstanding new image. Or not?if you're feeling a bit trapped, you could skip the good deed, wait for opinion to turn, then whip out your sting.

[Caeriel@yahoo.com](mailto:cariel@yahoo.com)