This Week's Horoscope

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

In Edgar Allan Poe's The Tell-tale Heart, the narrator is moved to confess his murderous crime by the sound, real or imagined, of his victim's heart, beating from beneath the floorboards where he's hidden the body. Your own flooring's been talking, too, and not just with the noise of your annoying downstairs neighbor. Is it a colony of mice? Or is it your guilty conscience, throbbing with pangs of your own? It doesn't matter that your "crime" is minor, and may not be a crime at all, except in your mind. What matters is that you clean up the messes that the vermin, furry or emotional, are living off of.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

So far, you think there's simply no such thing as too much of a good thing. Unfortunately, this week carries a slightly harsh lesson on how magnificent blessings can come with unpleasant repercussions. So that this week's lucky breaks don't catch you off guard, here's an example of what I mean: imagine having to choose between the once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity you've waited years for and the person you're madly in love with. Even if the choice seems obvious, you may wish you never had to make it. Do yourself a favor, though. Blessings require enjoyment; once you've made your decision, milk the path you've chosen for all it's worth, and let go of the one you had to leave behind.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Encourage your detractors. Your own hype campaign isn't generating enough buzz. Harness the forces that have helped Christian fundamentalists unwittingly create public awareness of the pro-choice and queer rights movements, among others. Countless books and movies have topped profit expectations, thanks to those who sought to get them banned. Need some sparks to get an exciting conflagration under way? Try locking horns, or just rubbing someone the wrong way. Sometimes, like this week, your enemies can be your best friends.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

While of course I cherish the virtual heaps of glowingly adulatory e-mails I receive, I covertly prefer the bitter black seeds of hate mail I get nearly as often. So now you know: if you love me, send me your impassioned spite. If you only like me, send me praise. And if you hate me, well, you're kinda screwed: pretty much the worst thing you could do is not write anything at all. How does this relate to you? I felt you could learn something from my attitude; put simply, instead of letting your critics get you down, let them pull you up.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

If you saw X-Men, you'll get this. In it, the mutant Cyclops has to wear a ruby visor to shield people from the devastating force of a concussive beam that's constantly blasting from his eye. Sounds a bit like your recently discovered new superpower, eh? You've long been aware of the healing potential of your loving attention, but you've never before brandished such might when it comes to tearing down people's walls, almost without trying. This ability hasn't consistently shown before because you weren't ready to wisely wield it. Now, you are?just barely. Your greatest challenge in the weeks to come will be learning when to don your version of the ruby visor and when to take it off.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Fuck the new-age jargon. That's bullshit. I'd rather give it to you straight; the bartender's closing time advice. So, siddown: we both know you're great; in fact, your shine is turned up a little brighter than it's been in ages. But that ego? The bottom line is, it's getting in the way of the final evolutionary step of your current head-trip. The moment you accept that the only person whose world revolves around you is you?as unjust as that surely is?will be the moment you can finally let yourself have what you've wanted all along.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Virgos are not, traditionally, hipsters. They don't flock to trendy neighborhoods, keep up on the latest fashions or obsessively frequent the "places to be." Generally, you have way more important things to do, or at least way more practical ones. That's fine. I'm not asking you to become a fashion slave or anything, but the stars indicate that a change of perspective is desperately called for, and "where it's at" is where it's at. You may not see the point of walking a mile in someone else's shoes, especially if they pinch or make you six inches taller, but that is the point. You'll never know what you'll get out of it until you try.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Let it get scary. I know, scary doesn't exactly fit in with your view of an harmonious and sweet life. But it should; because when things start getting really close and really real, they also get at least a little terrifying. Don't settle for mediocre pleasantry, not when the real deal is so close you can touch it. It may seem like trouble?hell, it may even be trouble. But take my word that it's the good kind of trouble, the type that stirs things up and whose silver lining is so magnificent it soon outshines the black thunderhead that preceded it. Stop running, or if you can't do that, do this: when you see the good kind of trouble, run toward it.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I told Libras to let things get scary, but you merit the opposite advice. While I want those Libras to get to that place that's so tender, deep and real it has them quaking deliciously in their suede boots, you've never shied away from that kind of experience, so you don't need that kind of counsel. Although your lovers are drawn to you because of the possibility of that passion, they're not as consistently brave as you are. Sometimes?like this week?they can't take so much unremitting intensity. I'm sure you're familiar with the desire to feel safe and sheltered. What may surprise you is how good you can be at providing that sanctuary. Since the one(s) you adore need that more than anything right now, can't you lay off the intensity for a while and give it to them?

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

The brilliant Michael Moore is politically radical, if that's what you call a persistent desire to know and reveal the truth. But that's no reason for his publisher to shelve his new book, Stupid White Men (almost, in fact, shredding hundreds of already printed copies), in the wake of 9/11, on the grounds that "the new America" would be hostile to a critical view of government debacles. Finally, after months of pressure, his publisher agreed to stop sitting on his labor of love. One result: the book recently hit #1 on Amazon.com's bestseller list and headed to its fifth printing by its third day out. Take heart: once you push past the resistance that's held back your truth-telling, it'll receive the same enthusiastic reception.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

For me, work is about managing distractions. I don't try to eliminate them; I find silence as deafening as the cliche suggests. I simply work at diminishing the really nasty ones, like physical discomfort and crying babies, while fostering the positive ones that help me keep my flow, like nearby cute guys and good coffee. It's a fine line?as you well know, since you've been dancing on the far side of it for a while now. Since you're going to have to get back to walking that tightrope soon enough?but not right away?I suggest you jump over to the other side while you still can.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

I'd dearly love to see the scandalous actions of governments and corporations spawn the kind of outraged media coverage that would elicit a real?and entirely appropriate?response from the public. How great would it be to see: "BUSH LIES TO COVER HIS OWN ASS" emblazoned across the front page of the Times, in regards to his evasiveness regarding Enron's Kenneth Lay, or his family's longstanding relationship with the bin Ladens? However, we both know that's not going to happen. Still, despite the similar impracticality of your idealism, don't give up on it. Instead, do what little you can?like me?to put it out there anyway.