I picture fame as this rough staircase with huge steps; clambering up it is almost impossible. Some lucky fools catch rush elevators straight to the top, but that's so rare. Luckily, I'm not alone in my pursuit of fame, happiness and fortune. A lot of my friends are climbing right along with me, and we're helping each other over the rough spots as they present themselves. In that light, I enjoy trading in my meager bit of renown to promote their endeavors when I get a chance. If nothing else, I'm psyched to be one of the first to publicly recognize huge talent. In that light, couldn't you at least consider lending a hand to one of your friends' goals (whether you agree with it or not)? It'll probably come back to you in some positive way, and even if it doesn't?it's good karma.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Desire creates suffering. You know this: The more you want something, the more it hurts if you don't get it. Wouldn't it be great if you could just want nothing? Maybe?perhaps then you'd be an enlightened Zen Buddhist teacher. But denying your desires and numbing yourself to their delicious pain is almost not living. It's fine to let rationality be the ultimate arbiter of your life. But if you deny it the tasty spice of emotion, would your existence be a meal even you'd want to keep tasting, in the long run?
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
My mind craves the smooth, clean whiteness of motion. I love coursing down the slopes on my board. I don't do much thinking while I'm whizzing past trees and skiers, and the thinking I do do is just a little deeper, more relevant and?dare I say it??more inspired than the mundanity of my everyday thoughts. The city is like black coffee: stimulating, a little muddling. Snowboarding, for me, is its antithesis. It sort of cleans my head out and lets me be free of the petty plainness and repetition of too much city life. You've sort of let yourself get too addled with thoughts and emotions reflective of stagnancy. Do something that will get yourself and your sluggish brain moving this week.
Aries (March 21-April 19)
I have a friend who's always teasing me that I'm on the road to morbid obesity. It's my predilection for Oreos, chocolate and croissants that will get me in the end, conspiring with my declining metabolism. I have a counterplot, though, involving a gradually increasing regimen of activity, to provide the balance. Will I be able to stick with it? In the day to day?probably not. In the long run, though, I'm banking on my giant, stubborn determination that seems to always prevail in the end (similar to yours?). So in the small picture you're a little inconstant; slightly irrelevant details distract you. In the big picture, though, you have the potential to accomplish huge things?as long as you keep coming back to the same big picture. This is a good week to at least make a preliminary decision about which one that is.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Living in Hollywood, I see some pseudo-celebrity or other every day: the guy from that sinus-med commercial, the chick (with a dick) from Ally McBeal. I'm hardly fazed when my dog decides to sniff Ellen DeGeneres' crotch on our walk. It's not like he hasn't smelled lesbian cootch before, and I'm unconvinced hers is any more special than anyone else's. Before you start bidding for Backstreet Boys' pubic hair on eBay, think about what it is you're doing. Can anyone possibly be worth this kind of scrutiny, attention and worship? Perhaps a better question to ask: How would you feel if it were you? Even if it's not a celebrity you're devoting so much of your energy to, perhaps it's appropriate for you to take a moment and decide how much they're really worth.
Gemini (May 21-June 20)
The fat older cat just ain't buyin' it. Ever since my roommate brought home the feisty kitten, Feline Sr. has learned a whole new repertoire of vicious growling and hissing noises. She has also engaged in a series of claw-slashing run-bys, and some serious spats. It's a losing battle, though she probably won't admit it?it was galling enough to have to yield to my 100-pound dog when he moved in. But Kitty Jr. already has the upper paw, and she's only going to get bigger. Same thing is happening to you?you've got to either change your tactics, drastically, or resign yourself to moving one notch down on the totem pole.
Cancer (June 21-July 22)
I was on the phone with one of my manliest friends. You know the type; big, football-player kind of guy, lives in the woods, likes power tools and hunting. We spent an hour processing our boy troubles before he observed that we sounded "like a couple of gossipy secretaries on lunch hour." Male egos seriously confounded, I think we were also secretly pleased that we didn't let gender rules get in the way of what we really wanted to do: commiserate and share our emotions. You'd be well advised to follow our example. Do what you want to do, and society's petty rules be damned. It's the new millennium, right? So join that football team or put on that dress, already.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Leos must have their courts. You're always surrounded by at least a handful (and sometimes a huge entourage) of loyal devotees. Your fans put up with an awful lot of arrogance, vanity, self-absorption and self-indulgence (on your part, obviously), though. Don't they mind? Sometimes?that's why it's important to let them know how great you think they are. Your awareness of the shit they have to deal with in knowing you will go a long way toward making it okay. So will you sharing with them?this week, preferably?just how fantastic you think they are, in no uncertain terms.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
In you strut, clad in black leather with four svelte bleached-blonde escorts at your side, all garbed in fitted black suits and matching your pace. You don't pursue glamour or drama for its own sake, but I can tell you're slightly intrigued with this image. Let me put it this way: you're interested in getting things done, right? Sometimes the shortest and easiest way to achieve your goals is with a little showmanship and allure. So embrace drama this week?it's the best way to get what you want done how you want it.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Kids are a handful, aren't they? Always getting into what they're not supposed to, sticking their fingers and heads in odd places (and sometimes getting stuck there). So are boyfriends (and occasionally, girlfriends), though. Especially yours, this week. Just try to be patient as you extract his hand from the gumball machine. Concentrate on this: there's all kinds of fun to be had with your admittedly immature boyfriend that simply isn't available or appropriate with children. And, unlike kids, if you really get sick and tired of your beau, you can dump him.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
I'd never be disloyal to you; especially not in the way you'd consider betraying some of the people in your life. Of course, you wouldn't be friends with me if I were capable of that level of treason; your suspicion knows no bounds, especially of fellow Scorpios?since you know better than anyone exactly what they're capable of. However, temporary alliances with them are sometimes necessary?like this week. The harsh, dangerous part is relaxing your guard and extending your trust. The payoff? Twice the stinging power.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
I'm a sucker for blue eyes. They make me melt. They're hardly a prerequisite for my lovers, but those who possess them have an added edge in handling me. Everyone has ridiculous, irrational vulnerabilities, even you. But not everyone gets totally swept up in them as I suspect you may be this week. I may enjoy pursuing a pair of alluring cerulean eyes, but they don't blind me to other, perhaps less appealing factors (like belonging to an obese serial murderer). Don't let your otherwise harmless little fetish dazzle you. See the big picture, not just the part.
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