This Week's Horoscope

Mid-November, my friends and I bundled up and sat on the roof to watch the Leonid meteor shower, supposedly the most dramatic display of "shooting stars" in 33 years. It was cold. We'd stayed up all night to witness a few distant blazes of light in our barren, light-polluted New York City sky. Despite the best of intentions, my friends didn't last long. They were huddled by the fireplace inside within 15 minutes. For whatever reason, I didn't join them. I was determined to witness astronomical history, and I'm glad I did. But to endure the chill, I had to give myself a goal. You can bet your ass that three seconds after my 101st meteor I was thawing my butt by that fire and feeling pretty damn smug. No judgment on your ambition; it might be just as frivolous as mine. Nevertheless, you can (and should) make use of my technique to help you reach it.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Following the Taliban's flight from Kabul, The New York Times ran images of young Afghan boys playing with GameBoys in the streets and announced that tv sales were up and burqa (the head-to-toe veil the Taliban required women to wear) sales were down. It's easy to identify with their celebration of freedom. Look to them this week when you regain certain privileges you'd lost; and this time, appreciate them instead of abusing them, so you don't lose them again.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

I haven't worn a watch in years. In fact, other than my computer, I have only one small timepiece, which I keep face-down in my room. Although I acknowledge that honoring time commitments is often necessary simply out of respect for the other people involved, I prefer running my life to my own internal clock as much as possible. Lately, you've allowed certain details of your daily existence to be determined by outside factors. Ignore them. You know what (and when) is best for you. Listen to that knowledge, and honor it, out of respect for yourself.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

There's something comforting about bounty. Enter a bakery. Loaves upon golden loaves of steaming, fresh-baked bread infuse you with a serenity you can't explain?it's not like you could personally eat most of that bread before it became inedible. But it's good practice to surround yourself with copiousness, to remind yourself that you exist in an economy of abundance, not scarcity. In case you've forgotten, food and money and stuff aside, the things that mean the most to you are available in more than sufficient amounts. That's right?there's plenty of love, affection and sex to go around.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Ken Kesey, a 60s psychedelic pioneer, died last month. Although I'm not sure he was 100 percent proud of his legacy, he should have been. The ideas and philosophies explored during that time helped shape so much of our time?including, arguably, things we take for granted, like the Internet, and much of popular entertainment. The most powerful and lasting things we can leave behind are ideas. He left the seeds for so many. This week, reflect on what your legacy might be, and even though you have plenty of time to shape and expand upon it, get started.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Stick up for yourself. You're no victim. Yeah, yeah, you got fucked over pretty bad when you least expected it: on your way to Grandma's house with red cape and picnic basket in hand. It's not fair, but so what? Come on, you ought to know by now that wolves wait for moments like these. As soon as they spot you, happily skipping and singing with your head in the clouds, they eagerly pounce. I'm sorry you got waylaid by an ill-intentioned fucker. But you're stronger than a little girl from a fairytale. Don't whine. Kick that wolf's ass.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Whew, the social scene just got Arctic. Nuclear winter would be less harsh than the cold shoulders you've been getting. Even though the logistics of your life prevent you from going into hibernation, you can take some measures. Bundle up, but don't settle for that puffy down jacket. Choose something that will keep you warm and safe, like a polar bear skin with teeth and claws intact. Obviously, you can't take this horoscope literally, but in preparation for your social forays, equip yourself with multipurpose gear, stuff that'll keep you warm in frigid conditions, fascinating in boring ones and comfortable in awkward ones.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

You are so lucky, only you don't know it. I'm not talking the kind of luck where you simply avoid accidents through happy happenstances. I'm referring to discovering the unlocked back door to the local candy factory, finding a winning lottery ticket or stumbling upon your long-lost stepsister. The only problem is, these things aren't being presented to you on silver platters, and aren't even in your line of sight. The doors and windows of opportunity are opening?once you've stepped past them. My only tips: don't rush, take lots of side-trips and look over your shoulder as often as possible.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Your coldness can be like a flagpole in February?those who dare to touch you might just get stuck against their will. Is it all that practical, though?to have your detractors by their tongues, just so you can wave your own virtues high overhead and out of reach? It seems as if you're approaching your goals in the most unrealistic ways possible, like trying to construct a raincoat out of quilted paper towels. Take a step back and gain some perspective. Isn't it time you tried to do things the old-fashioned way? Get your friends by being cool and, um, friendly, and stay dry by garbing yourself in waterproof materials or, better yet, staying out of the weather altogether.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

I love some of the far-out ideas I've seen dancing through your head lately. No, I haven't suddenly become that psychic?it's you who's become transparent. Hey, don't get embarrassed. Your naked brain is an appealing place lately. The regimented days of hyper-organization appear to be past, replaced with the far more creative, and yes, messy, ideas of the present. Embrace them. You've been spiritually starved for sloppy imaginative discourse. Indulge yourself, for once, and don't return to your usual much stricter mental diet until your soul is as fat and jolly as Santa Claus.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Your fear of the ugly has reached terrifying new proportions. I can understand your desire to surround yourself with beautiful things and people, but I'm disappointed to see how narrow your vision of beauty has been lately. Like you, I enjoy being near things and people I find gorgeous?who wouldn't? But it ain't all about surface. Embrace the swans if you must, but at least be imaginative enough to see the beauty in the lost lonely ducklings you encounter, too.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Your idealism is astonishing?even while the Titanic plunges beneath the icy waters, you cling to your beloved and beg her to hold her breath and hang on as long as possible. Oh wait, that was fellow Scorpio Leonardo. But still, the idea is there?although your ship appears to be sinking and sucking you down with it, you can't let go of the hope that somehow you'll be saved. The good news is, you won't have to go down with your ship; the rescue choppers are already on their way. The bad news is, you will have to let go of the ideas (the ship) that got you this far; they've got too many holes to stay afloat. Don't worry, the new ideas you replace them with will take you much farther, much faster than that old tub ever could.

[Caeriel@yahoo.com](mailto:caeriel@yahoo.com)