The Moonlighters at Otto's Shrunken Head; "Matisse Picasso," on Sale Now; Donnie Darko; Witness Protection Program at Arlene Grocery; "Chabrol/Huppert"; Burns Night Supper at Bowery Poetry Club; Larry Kramer Speaks

We prefer to think of ourselves as "spontaneous," but the truth is we don't plan ahead. Most of the time we get shut out of stuff we'd like to see and do. Our New Year's resolution is to drag our ass out of our normal sluggish rut and actually...buy tickets ahead of time. At the top of the ticket-buying list is what will likely be the blockbuster art show of the spring, "Matisse Picasso" at the Museum of Modern Art. The two titans of 20th-century art were the Beatles/ Rolling Stones of the art world in the early 1900s, and this exhibition follows their lifelong artistic give-and-take. The MOMA QNS rolls out this monster show on Feb. 13, but tickets are on sale now. You won't get into the museum without a timed ticket and chances are every culture vulture passing through New York will be circling this one on the calendar. Plan ahead and beat the mobs. (Quick hint to greenhorns: Smart New Yorkers are savvy enough go to museums on Friday evening when the tourists are just settling down to their 6 p.m. dinners at Planet Hollywood. Plan accordingly for the most peaceful visit.) 33 St. (Queens Blvd.), Long Island City, 708-9400, www.moma.org; $20.

"Do you believe in time travel?" asks Frank, clad in a malevolent bunny costume, standing after midnight on a golf course. The next morning, a tired and confused Donnie (Jake Gyllenhaal) walks home to discover he's missed a brutal death from a jet engine that has plunged through the roof of his house. Released in 2001, the haunting and bittersweet Donnie Darko is currently enjoying a cult following and extended life as a midnight movie. The story's complex internal logic and paradoxes continue to intrigue and mystify audiences, however, and the additional DVD footage and commentary have done little to clarify matters. After the midnight show on Sat., Jan. 11, fans will finally have their chance to pay their respects?and then ask director Richard Kelly just what the hell it was all about. At the Pioneer Theater, 155 E. 3rd St. (Ave. A), 254-3300; $8.50, $6 st./s.c. & Pioneer members.

Witness Protection Program don't need to sell themselves with anything beyond a description: two white MCs (MC Absurd and Benny from the Burbs), each sounding like one of Eminem's many voices, rap intricately with the backing of a live band featuring a smokin' guitar player and a keyboardist named "Dr. ATM." They also go to Harvard. And they have killer singles. It's one of those things that goes down so easy, live rap from Harvard, that you always knew it would happen. Catch WPP this Sat., Jan. 11, at Arlene Grocery, 95 Stanton St (betw. Orchard & Ludlow Sts.), 358-1633; 11 p.m., $5.

During January and February, the YWCA Cine-Club offers "Chabrol/Huppert," a series highlighting works by director Claude Chabrol (who according to IMDB.com is "considered a master in the mystery genre" and "is credited with starting the 'nouvelle vague' French film movement") and actress Isabelle Huppert (La Pianiste). This Sat.-Sun., Jan. 11-12, brings 1997's comedy/thriller The Swindle (Rien ne va plus), about two con artists rolling in the dough?in French w/English subtitles. Film critic Elliott Stein introduces each screening. YWCA, 610 Lexington Ave. (53rd St.), 735-9717; 4:30, $7.

If your love is like a red, red rose?or if, from drink, you've got a red, red nose?dinna miss the Burns Night Supper at the Bowery Poetry Club on Sun., Jan. 12. Robert?"dear old Rabbie" to the wearers o' tha tweed who brood into their dark ale over the Bard of Ayrshire?Burns' birthday on Jan. 25 is normally the traditional day for Burns celebrations, but the crazy wankers at the Club are recitin' his ditties a fortnight early. These things are usually festivals of haggis-eating and reciting the lovely poems that Burns wrote in Scottish dialect ("The best laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley"; "Auld Lang Syne"), liberated into the Celtic mists by cups o' kindness and the Scottish spirit that's unleashed therein. This time out the Club scotches the entrails, substituting good company and fine whisky. 308 Bowery (Bleecker St.), 614-0505/431-7920; 7, $100.

It's easy to think of AIDS as a manageable disease, especially if your perspective is based on what's happening in America, since a majority of the more than 40 million people infected with HIV worldwide are living in sub-Saharan Africa. Fortunately, Larry Kramer?writer, activist and founder of Gay Men's Health Crisis?is a longtime advocate of bringing anti-AIDS drugs to Africa and other countries being ravaged by the disease, and has been urging pharmaceutical companies to provide low-cost HIV-fighting medication to Third World countries. Kramer, who also founded the hyper-aggressive group ACT UP, is speaking on Mon., Jan. 13, 5 p.m., at Weill Cornell Medical College's Uris Auditorium, 1300 York Ave., (E. 69th St.), 821-0560; free.