The Intro
"You can't use that word," he said, while eviscerating me for a nasty little bit that appeared in last week's 50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers feature. "You're not in the club." He wasn't wrong. I'm not in the club. I don't lay down with men, and because I don't lay down with men, he felt it inappropriate for me to use an offensive term to refer to men who do lay down with men.
So, to the individual who took offense and called, I hereby apologize for describing the cast members of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy as "annoying faggots."
"Annoying queers," though lacking in zing and causing an echo with the title of the program, would have been more acceptable.
I honestly didn't mean any offense.
The episode brought to mind a discussion I had years ago with a crunchy zine dude who was in town for a small-press convention. Fresh-faced and carrying a stack of Xeroxes in his knapsack, he put one question to me:
"What's the purpose of the artist?" "To provoke," I answered, without hesitation. Crunchy zine dude didn't like my answer; he suffered from a prejudiced vocabulary. I probably should've said "to inspire" or "to support" or "to explore," all of which I also believe; I thought I was only allowed one infinitive.
I wondered, would he know that "dank" actually means "wet"? The dark part-as in "a dank cellar," most certainly meant to suggest a dark and wet cellar-is an incorrect association.
Similarly, to provoke is unjustly associated with "to provoke a fight"; the definition of "to incite to anger" is archaic. In my mind, to provoke is to prompt discussion, or thought, or action. I was trying to prompt a little discussion-but only because I've grown bored with lazy stereotypes.
I've also grown bored with most social commentary, with simple-minded do-gooders, with traditional divisions. The real question, then: As a straight, white, middle-class male, can I comment on social issues pertaining to minority groups? I'm on the right side, after all. In my own way, I do fight for the oppressed; I do stand up for the little guy. I hate whitey as much as the next straight, white, middle-class male who went to college in the late 80s. Don't doubt me, for pete's sake-it was the late 80s, I was programmed to hate whitey.
Right or wrong, I'm also prone to using inappropriate words and telling inappropriate jokes with what some might describe as inappropriate aggression. But isn't that why I'm here? Or has the city been turned upside down? Is tip-toeing around the slumbering LCD the new black? Did I miss the memo that told everyone to coddle thy neighbor, else the terrorists will have won?