Subway Status Report; Macy's Takes Over the FDR; Swingers Precedes Made; P. Diddy Brings It Back to Dr. Seuss Steez; Ike Reilly @ Bowery Ballroom; Scarecrow Collection @ the Bitter End

"It's a computer-regulated climate control system we have," says MTA spokesperson James Anyansi. "The air conditioning is now just on top of the car instead of on top and under the seats."

The trains still run slowly from station to station, but they have seemed more frequent in the past two weeks?the result of my Six Trains an Hour mini-campaign, perhaps?

"Well, not really. No. You might have noticed some more late-night service because of all the service diversions we have going on."

Anyway. Don't attempt to sleep on these new trains. The light makes it impossible. Bring hot soup from a deli and try some Pilates in the fresh IRT air.

...Mass transit will be a necessity this Wednesday, when, unsatisfied with its annual disruption of traffic at the Thanksgiving Day Parade, Macy's takes over the FDR Dr. for the Fourth of July Spectacular (info at 494-4495). The FDR, aka the aorta of New York, will be closed to vehicular traffic from Houston to 63rd Sts. and open to pedestrians at the 23rd, 38th, 42nd and 48th St. on-ramps. You'd better take advantage, because a whole lot of Americans who don't really care about the Fourth of July are going to have one hell of a night driving on 1st and 2nd Aves.

To be fair, it is Macy's, and they put on a proper show. Starting at 9 p.m., the world's biggest fireworks display will spark up above four barges on the East River. The Fire Dept. will spray red, white and blue water from its fireboats; illuminated floats on the barges will depict patriotic icons like the Liberty Bell and Statue of Liberty (which you could probably see yourself if you craned your neck out far enough).

Do not go to the Brooklyn Heights Promenade for the fireworks, a prime viewing spot in years past. You need to be somewhere with an unobstructed view of the middle of the East River?if you don't want to use the FDR, try the Brooklyn Bridge walkway, a Lower East Side rooftop or that little island south of Roosevelt Island that you've always wanted to commandeer. Good luck and bring a pocket fan.

...Your alternative to a Macy's Fourth of July is spending time in the air-conditioned Screening Room (54 Varick St. at Canal St., 334-2100) watching Swingers (1996). Five years of hindsight have solidified the film's status as one of the funniest things to come out of the 90s, up there with the first six episodes of South Park and the footage of that guy driving a tank through San Diego. Swingers screens at 5:45, 7:45 and 9:45 p.m. on Wednesday; admission is only $5 (free if you dine at the spacious Screening Room restaurant beforehand) in honor of the venue's five-year anniversary. The low ticket prices run through Thursday.

...The Swingers screening anticipates Jon Favreau's next comedy vehicle, Made, which debuts July 13 at United Artist's Union Square Stadium 14 (the big theater near the Virgin Megastore, 850 B'way at 14th St., 253-6266). Made is a mob comedy?an overworked genre of late?that probably won't come near Swingers, but it does feature P. Diddy in his first film role, as "downtown Manhattan gangster" Ruiz.

The P. Dizz was victimized last week, as some tracks from his new record, P Diddy and the Bad Boy Family: The Saga Continues, were stolen by unscrupulous studio hangers-on and leaked to the public before the album's official release date of July 10 (gasp). Here we have it, from the tune "That's Crazy": "They had the nerve to say I had a gun/Man, for 12 years I had a run/And they done threatened my family dog/Courthouse got my name in the log."

P. Diddy is clearly harking back to the early days of hiphop, when rappers could use lines like, "Keep my hand on the gun/'Cause they got me on the run" (Grandmaster Flash, circa '82), and didn't need the minimal skills required to fashion an interior rhyme scheme. Not sure if leaking those lyrics was a good marketing move, P. Dizza, but hey?marketing is your thing. Maybe this will be the record that truly makes you a superstar.

...Scarecrow Collection play Saturday at the Bitter End (147 Bleecker St., betw. La Guardia Pl. & Thompson St., 673-7030), and although the downstairs lounge at Wetlands (161 Hudson St. at Laight St., 386-3600) is the preferred place to see them, any chance you get is one you should take. They're a jam band from New Jersey?five boys laying down serious free-form grooves, many of them driven by a freak on the mandolin. Look for eight-minute songs with minimal lyrics about trains, irreverent covers and bass workouts that make even the whitest peach-fuzzed white kids move with abandon.

The crowd will be lots of stoner girls, half with boyfriends, and all young enough to still look good. There might be a sundress or hippie lace-trim number in the crowd, and there will definitely be someone selling tapes (like, cassettes, remember?) of previous Scarecrow Collection shows. Look for a tape that has a cover you recognize; you won't be disappointed. The show starts at 10:30 p.m. with a $5 entry fee.

...In other concert news, a Chicago indie-rocker named Ike Reilly has gotten himself signed to Republic and released one of 2001's most interesting albums: a dirty cross between Lou Reed, the Violent Femmes and Beck called Salesmen and Racists. It comes out July 31; Mr. Reilly comes to the Bowery Ballroom July 10 (6 Delancey St. at Bowery, 260-4700).

Reilly looks like the "bad boy" in a vocal pop band of serial killers, and it's not surprising that he spent time as a hotel doorman in Chicago?that's the kind of job where you see the losers and freaks that occupy his songs. On his album's opener, "Last Time," we find a guy who makes up for his substance-abusing impotence by cracking jokes: "Last time/I couldn't make you come/Last time/You didn't fake me out/Last time/I got a little bit wasted/But this time, I don't think you mind/Because I'm funny." That's not just a chorus; it's useful advice.

Salesmen and Racists was recorded in a home studio; its tossed-off vocals, endearing demo drum loops and singalongs recall Pinkerton with the vocals mixed high. (And if you're into Pinkerton, the second Weezer record, a gorgeous website has cropped up at [www.pinkertoncampaign.com](http://www.pinkertoncampaign.com) praising the album and trying to convince Rivers Cuomo to write more like it.) Tickets for Ike Reilly are $12 and he goes on at 9. Can't wait to see what he does live.