STAGE WEDNESDAY 7/16 Cabaret The Lounge-O-Leers ...

WEDNESDAY 7/16

Cabaret

The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita update the lounge act covering classics incl. "Stairway to Heaven" & pop hits w/retro style; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5-9, free [repeats Thurs.].

Magical Madness Cadabra, Cardone & Gorlick perform weird rituals & the "warlock test," plus tricks incl. voice-throwing & mind-reading; Tagine Dining Gallery, 537 9th Ave. (40th St.), 212-564-7292; 8, $10.

Norman's Big Night Out Norman Gosney ups the ante for fabulous w/song, dance, comedy & vaudeville incl. lasso specialists, acrobats & jugglers; Show, 135 W. 41st St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-278-0988; 10:30, $25.

Comedy

Eight is Never Enough Recently moved from the Shea Theatre, this show feat. good ol' sketch comedy & improv?plus plenty of satire & impersonations; Club Esquilita, 301 W. 39th St. (8th Ave.), 718-204-4987; 10:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

Vic Henley raises the laugh bar w/Steve Byrne, John Priest, Pete Correale, Russ Meneve & Jackson Perdue; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; call for times, $12.50-$20 [through 7/20].

Littleman w/the Sunshine Gang; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 307 W. 22nd St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves), 212-366-9176; 9:30, $5.

Colin Quinn headlines bill incl. Tony Rock, Greer Barnes, Greg Giraldo & Godfrey; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts), 212-254-3480; call for times, $10-$15 [through 7/21].

Dance

Barefoot Dancing Irish step dance has its turn in the naked foot series; join Jerry O'Sullivan & his ensemble in 18th century traditional step dance, complete w/performance on the Uillean Pipes; Wave Hill, 675 W. 252nd St. (Independence Ave.), Bronx, 718-549-3200; 7, $4, $2 st./s.c.

Midsummer Night Swing 2003 David Ostwald's Gully Low Jazz Band opens this week's dance party/lesson/performance w/traditional swing "dedicated to the preservation of the great music of the 1920s and 30s"?also, Thursday revives Paris' 1920 dance hall craze (Parisian Cafe Valse Musette, Rumba, Bolero & Gypsy Swing); Friday is Polka night; Saturday gets sweet when Sugar Ray & the Bluetones, w/Monster Mike Welch, paint the plaza blue; Josie Robertson Plaza, Lincoln Center, Columbus Ave. (betw. 62nd & 65th Sts.), 212-721-6500; 6:30, $15 [repeats Thurs.-Sat., through 7/26].

THURSDAY 7/17

Cabaret

Starshine Burlesque Weekly smorgasboard feat. local stars performing comedy, music, magic & titillating stripteases?plus Meat Mistress womans the turntables; RiFiFi, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Ave.), 212-677-5368; 10, $5.

Comedy

American Treacle: A Musical Sketch Comedy! "Send-up of reality shoes like American Idol, where groups of hopeful singers vie to be the next big thing!"; the Abingdon Theatre, 312 W. 36th St. (8th Ave.), 212-279-4200; call for times, $15, $12 st./s.c. [through 8/3].

Gotham All Stars The professionals take over the mic tonight; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sun.].

The Happy Hour Drink yourself silly w/ha-ha honchos incl. Tim Halpern, DC Benny & Rod Reyes; Downstairs at Porters, 216 7th Ave. (betw. 22nd & 23rd Sts.), 212-242-2422; 8:30, $7 & 1 item min.

Dance

Tap City Spectacular I, II & III Tony Waag, Gregory Hines & Hoagy "Bix" Carmichael's "New York City Tap Festival" gives tap masters incl. Karen Callaway, Cintia Chamecki, Jeannie Hill, Tap and Tray, the Tap Collective, Tapeplas & Max Pollak a venue to shuffle on?first in three-part series. Also, Hoofer Award presentation (Fri.) & Tap Dance Hall of Fame Awards (Sat.); the Duke, 229 W. 42nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-415-5552; 7 & 9:30, $35 [repeats Fri. & Sat. ].

FRIDAY 7/18

Cabaret

"The Human Heart" Former Miss USO 2001, Jennifer Del Rio, sings about love in a Pathmark, 9/11 & everything in between; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $15 & 2 drink min [repeats Sat. at 7:30, Sun. at 7:15].

"Ringside Seats" The Pumpkin Pie Show pres. a musical tale of death row serial killer?sounds hilarious!; the Belt, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; 8, $15, $10 st./s.c. [repeats Sat.].

"Shock and Awe A-Go-Go!" Hosts Epstein & Hassan, aka "the Black & the Jew," pres. "wet-dream play" feat. fetish acts & eroctic circus entertainment for gays & breeders alike; Cutting Room, 19 W. 24th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-691-1900; 11, $15 [through 8/30].

Uncle Jimmy's Dirty Basement Never go in the basement, unless you're prepared for "the lowest level of entertainment humanly possible" feat. warped puppets & "bubble-gum/brown-metal" sounds; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 9:30, $15 [repeats Sat.].

Comedy

"Above Kleptomania Improv & Sketch Comedy Theatre" Erik Marcisak pres. 223 long-form improv artists, in teams w/names like "the Royal We," "Fade In," & "Your Mom," performing pieces based on audience suggestions; Show World, 671 8th Ave. (betw. 42nd & 43rd Sts.), 212-586-7829; 8 & 10, $10, $8 st./s.c. [repeats Sat.].

The Grown-Ups Playground & Undiscovered Treasure Pretend you're a pirate & dig for hidden booty in the sandbox w/your drunk friends at this comedy/improv event; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 6, $10 & 2 drink min.

Komedy Kebob Meat to make you laugh on a stick. Comics from MTV, Comedy Central & other places; Bar 107, 107 N. 6th St. (betw. Berry & Wythe Sts.), Bklyn, 718-302-3313; 8:30, free.

Latino Laughter Latin types let loose; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 8, $10 & 2 drink min [repeats Sat. at 9].

The Next Big Broadway Musical! Two-act, completely improvised comedy; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 10, $10.

William Stephenson hosts stand-up feat. JJ Ramirez, Ellen Cleghorn, Buddy Bolton & Vanessa Hollingshead ; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., $17 & $12 min.

Steve White The mastermind behind the White Stripes; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., $16 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

Women Clearly Want Monkeys Right? Sketch comedy by Rob Blatt & Sam Riegel; People's Improv Theater, 154 W. 29th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-563-7488; 8, $8.

SATURDAY 7/19

Cabaret

Cary Hoffman performs Sinatra classics w/the Stan Rubin Orchestra...and listen, this guy sounds exactly like Frank; Carnegie Club, 156 West 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-957-9676; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.

"Judy Garland & Barbra Streisand Live!" Divas Tommy Femia & Steven Brinberg reprise the duos' classic CBS duets from 40 years ago w/a few new tunes; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 11, $25 & 2 drink min.

The Sexy Man Show Male revue produced by women, for women, feat. drag host, comedy & hunky dancers?www.thesexymanshow.com; Discotheque, 17 W. 19th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-352-9999, info 212-807-6795; 7:30, $25-$30.

Comedy

Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Causing a ruckus w/stand-up comedy in the Boudoir (Bar); East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), 718-624-8878; 9:30, $5 & 2 drink min.

The Fifth Dentist "Live Saturday Night" pres. improv & sketch troupe; Joyous Life Center, 119 W. 23rd St. #700 (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), res. req. 212-352-9910; 8, $10.

"The Tommy Koenig Show" T-Dogg hosts comedy & musical guests Joe Polacik, Sheila Mallon, Lisa Casillo & the Tommy Koenig Show Band (!); Dillons Restaurant & Bar, 245 W. 54th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-9797; 10, $10 & $10 min.

Kerry McNally hosts stand-up feat. Laurie Kilmartin, Brad Trackman, Todd Lynn, Ellen Cleghorn, Joe Vega & Tony Rock ; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 6, 8, 10:15 & 12:30 a.m., $17 & $12 min.

"The 9 O'Clock 10:17 Comedy Night" "It's the: Singer and Saw Variety Show!"; Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-545-8000; 9, $5.

Off the Top of Our Heads "Whose Line Is It Anyway"-style show involves audience in good old-fashioned improv games; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7, $7.

Pod v2.1 Time travellers from 5047 have returned to make fun of us & our backward ways...; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 9, $7.

"Poole Party!" Ron Poole returns w/his hit comedy-variety show feat. stand-up, musical & improv-provoked laughs; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

Dance

Catch #1: CatchQuickBeforeItHitsYouInTheFace Emerging Artist Series No bruises here?we're letting you know in advance; program feat. amazing work of Felicia Ballos & Flora Wiegmann. Also, Sakura Shimada's dance improvisation w/music from the Missing Teens; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), 718-782-5188; 7, $8.

Havana on the Hudson The sounds of traditional Cuban mambo played by Don Adolfo & his Orquesta Organizacion make up for the absence of Cuban sandwiches at this music feast. The brass, woodwinds, African drums, piano, & coro will make it hard for any downtowner to stand still; Battery Park City, Esplanade Pl., Liberty St. (West St.), 212-267-9700; 6:30, free.

Salsa for Kids Cha-Cha it up w/Stepping Out Studios' Dianne Lachtrupp; Lincoln Center, 63rd St. (Columbus Ave.), 212-875-5391; 4-5:30, $5.

SUNDAY 7/20

Cabaret

De La Guarda Cast-Aways The Argentians are at it again! Squeezing every last drop out of De La Guarda w/scaled-down version of their hit show feat., of course, music, gravity defying acrobatics & theater; Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-614-0505; 9, $5.

Downtown Revivals Special, one night performance by the brightest & best stars of cabaret. Tonight singer/songwriter Julie Gold illustrates why her timeless songs incl. "From a Distance" become fast hits; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 7, $12 & 2 drink min.

The Kick Ass Clown Cabaret Is free beer worth volunteering for full clown immersion? You decide when multiple clown troupes, incl. the John Brown Clowns & Mr. Mustard, give you nightmares inspiration?also live music from the Depressionaries; People's Improv Theater, 154 W. 29th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-563-7488; 8, $12, $6 w/tie.

"Make Love" Just another controversial performance artist (Karen Finley) doing the 'Liza Minneli as an exploration of the current chaotic state of the union' thing; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), RSVP 212-533-2680; 8, $20 [through 8/10].

MONDAY 7/21

Cabaret

An Evening with Brett Somers Star of stage, silver screen & boob tube performs her musical memoir w/help from musical director Mark Cherry; Danny's Skylight Room, 346 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-265-8133; 7, $15 & $10 min.

An Evening with Carol Channing Richard Skipper gives you Carol, platinum hair & all; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 7, $20 & 2 drink min.

Laura & Amber Songwriter Amber Rhodes & Hairspray's Laura Bell Bundy perform feel-good pop diddies w/just a twang of country; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-2680; 8, $10.

Teresa Sareo Singer/songwriter Sareo, w/eric Cortwright on piano & Ethan Hartshorn on drums, works jazz standards & pop classics; the Bubble Lounge, 228 W. B'way (betw. Franklin & White Sts.), 212-431-3433; 8, 2 drink min.

Comedy

Dangerfield's Comedy Shows Hee-hee people from all over the country are coming to perform for you?yes, just for you, so don't miss it; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; call for times, $12.50 [repeats Tues.].

Psychotherapy Live Lisa Levy works out the problems of her audience patients in "reality theater"; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-239-6200; 9:30, $12.

Dance

"Jazzdance" There's nothing but heart in Danny Buraczeski's NY-premiere of "Beat," dancers are costumed in blood-red & make thier way through the cardiovascular system. Also, "Las Quatro Estaciones," inspired by Thoreau & Emerson's poetic versus & signature piece "Swing Concerto" feat. the music of Benny Goodman & Artie Shaw; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (19th St.), 212-242-0800; 7, $38 [repeats Tues. at 8].

TUESDAY 7/22

Cabaret

Automatic Vaudeville Weekly series hosted by Hilly & Gavin Souchet attracts comedy, music & performance artists; Ars Nova, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-206-1515; 8, $5.

Cyre' Go back in time to hear Holiday & Sinatra classics w/songstress Cyre'; the Bubble Lounge, 228 W. B'way (betw. Franklin & White Sts.), 212-431-3433; 8, 2 drink min.

Comedy

Upright Citizen's Brigade takes on Bedford Avenue U.; Northsix, 66 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-599-5103; 9.

THEATER

RECENTLY OPENED

Barbra's Wedding Actor Daniel Stern (Breaking Away, Diner, Home Alone, City Slickers) makes his playwriting debut w/comedy about the singer & her neighbor; Westside Theater, 407 W. 43rd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8., mats. Sat. at 2:30, Sun. at 3, $60.

Boobs! The Musical "The world according to Ruth Wallis" w/songs from her old catalog & book by Steve Mackes & Michael Whaley; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Fri. & Mon. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 7, mat. Sun. at 3, $50-$55.

The Daughter-in-Law D.H. Lawrence wrote this play?about tension-filled marriage (blame the mother)?in 1911, but no one even knew about it until 1965; Martin L. Platt dir. this resurrection; Mint Theater, 311 W. 43rd St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-0255; tkts 212-315-0231; Wed. & Thurs. at 7, Fri. & Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $19.

Dream a Little Dream Denny Doherty stars in musical about former bandmates John & Michelle Phillips & Cass Elliott; Village Theatre, 158 Bleecker St. (betw. Sullivan & Thompson Sts.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2:30 & Sun. at 3, $45-$100.

Enchanted April E.M. Forster-esque tale of British on holiday in Italy; Belasco Theatre, 111 W. 44tth St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45-$80.

The Exonerated Bob Balaban directs Jessica Blank & Erik Jensen's controversial drama based on interviews w/falsely imprisoned death row inmates found innocent & freed; 45 Bleecker St., 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, Sun. at 3 & 7, $55 [through 8/31].

The Fisherman of Beaudrais Unpublished screenplay by Ring Lardner & Dalton Trumbo about an aging, 1940s-era French tramp who passes himself off as resistance hero for free wine, only to sacrifice & become true patriot in the end; Bank Street Theatre, 155 Bank St. (betw. Washington & West Sts.), 212-561-9635; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $10-$15 [through 7/20].

Flesh and Blood Adapted from the best-selling novel by Michael Cunningham, not the platinum-selling Poison album; New York Theatre Workshop, 79 E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $60 [opens 7/16].

Getting Into Heaven Writer/actress Polly Draper ("Thirtysomething") in drama about "sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll & motherhood"; The Flea Theater, 41 White St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-206-1515; Wed.-Sat. at 7, mat. Sat. at 3, $25 [through 8/2].

Hairspray Musical based on John Waters' film about plump girl's attempts to racially integrate teen dance show; Neil Simon Theater, 250 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$100.

Hamlet Shakespeare in the Park(ing) Lot's 2003 season continues; Ludlow Ten, 85 Ludlow St. (Delancey St.) call for times, free [through 7/26].

Hank Williams: Lost Highway But what about Bocephus? Guess Broadway ain't ready for "O.D.'d in Denver"...(this week's Wed. performance is open captioned for the hearing impaired); Little Shubert Theater, 422 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times & prices.

Henry V Heart-throb/literary lunkhead Liev Schreiber as Shakespeare's most charasmatic king; Delacorte Theater, Central Park at 79th St. (betw. Central P.W. & 5th Ave.), 212-539-8750; call for times & ticket info, free.

I Am My Own Wife "Real-life German transvestite manages to survive both the Nazi onslaught and the following, repressive communist regime" in play by Doug Wright (Quills) & Moises Kaufman (The Laramie Project, Gross Indecency); Playwrights Horizons, 416 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $15-$50 [through 7/20].

Icarus & Aria Kirk Wood Bromley & Aaron Beall (who directs) update Romeo & Juliet to the modern Southwest; Cheetah, 12 W. 21st St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves), 212-206-7770; tkts 212-581-6232; Sun. & Mon. at 7:30, mat. Sat. at 4, $20.

Mack the Knife: the Life and Music of Bobby Darin "From teen idol to Copacabana hipster, Bobby Darin topped the charts, melted hearts and broke all the rules of pop music"; St. Peter's Church, 619 Lexington Ave. (54th St.), 212-935-5820; Wed.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Wed. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3.

Mixed Stage Monday Eight themes for eight nights of "theatrical happenings"; 92nd St. Y, 1395 Lexington Ave. (92nd St.), 212-415-5500; Mon. at 7:30, $10 [through 8/25].

Mono "Interactive play" moves into new space; 320 W. 37th St.(betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-358-3447; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $15, $10 st.

Our Lady of 121st Street New play by Stephen Adly Guirgis (directed by heartthrob Philip Seymour Hoffman) decamps for off-Broadway; Union Sq. Theater, 100 E. 17th St. (Park Ave. S.), 212-505-0700; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30-$65 [through 7/27].

Out From Under It Rip Van Winkle wakes to find he's starring in chic lit; Vital Theatre Co., 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-592-0129; call for times & prices [through 7/19].

The Play What I Wrote Directed by Kenneth Branagh & starring surprise celebrity guests; Lyceum Theatre, 149 W. 45th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, call for prices.

Rock Stars NYC "The newest off-Broadway, live, rock 'n' roll-theater experience" w/music from Copper Pot, Jana Peri, Zeta Bane & Electric Magic Side Show; Polly Esthers, 186 W. 4th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-249-7373; call for times & prices.

Slap & Tickle "serves as a generational portrait of those who grew up knowing about AIDS before sex, and condoms before kisses"; the Independent Theatre, 52 W. 8 St. (6th Ave.), 212-868-4444; call for times, $15 [through 7/27].

St. Crispin's Day The battle of Agincourt from perspective of the soliders of Shakespeare's Henry V; St. John's Church in the Village, 224 Waverly Pl. (betw. 6th Ave. & Christopher St.), 212-490-6274; call for times, $15-$37.50 [through 7/20].