STAGE WEDNESDAY 3/19 Cabaret "An American ...
Cabaret
"An American in Paris" Supper club welcomes back singer & pianist Steve Ross, performing French-inspired songs written by Americans incl. Cole Porter & Oscar Hammerstein & trib. to French performers incl. Maurice Chevalier; Stanhope Park Hyatt, 995 5th Ave. (betw. 80th & 81st Sts.), 212-650-4737; 8:30, $40 & $25 min. [repeats Thurs. & Tues. at 8:30, Fri. & Sat. at 8:30 & 10:30].
"Let's Fall In Love" KT Sullivan w/Larry Woodard on piano, salutes Harold Arlen, performing his greatest hits incl. "Stormy Weather," "It's Only a Paper Moon" & "If I Only Had a Brain"; Algonquin Hotel, the Oak Room, 59 W. 44th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), RSVP 212-419-9331; 9, $50 & $20-$50 min. [repeats Thurs. & Tues. at 9, Fri. & Sat. at 9 & 11:30].
The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita update the lounge act w/classics like "Stairway to Heaven" & cheesy renditions of Eminem hits; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].
Norman's Big Night Out feat. song, dance, comedy & vaudeville, Norman Gosney's cabaret ups the ante for fabulous; Show, 135 W. 41st St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-278-0988; 10:30, $25.
"The Raelian Cabaret" Brooklyn's new performance space hosts cabaret performers all month. This week Rima Fand, Blueberry & the Church of Betty Trio rock the joint; Barbes, 376 9th St. (6th Ave.), Park Slope, 718-965-9177; 8, free.
"Women of Note" Joan Crowe w/Tedd Firth on piano & Ritt Henn on bass; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.
Comedy
"Fancy" Julie Klausner embodies, then attacks, female stereotypes incl. "bratty debutantes," Rules gals & "female friars" in one-woman show feat. original songs-plus distractions from Andy Milonakis, Paul Scheer & the Fancy Dancers; Chelsea Playhouse, 125 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 10, $5.
The Morning After Pill Egyptian-American comic Nasry Malak pokes fun at post-Sept. 11th NY incl. family urgings to turn in his father in an attempt to appear more patriotic; the Underground Lounge, 955 West End Ave. (107th St.), 212-531-4759; 8:30, $6.
Gregg Rogell Stand-up w/Steve Byrne, Nancy Redman, Jackson Perdue, Jessica Kirson & Steve Marshall; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45 to closing, $12-$20 [repeats Thurs. & Sun. 8:45 to closing, Fri. at 8:30 & 10:30, Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].
Dance
Eliot Feld's Ballet Tech returns for their annual five-week season, the co. pres. Mikhail Baryshnikov in new solo "Mr. XYZ," created for him by Feld. Repertory also incl. "Behold The Man" feat. music by Brian Eno & David Lang; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (19th St.), 212-242-0800; 8, $40 [repeats Thurs.-Sat., Tues. at 8, Sat. & Sun. at 2].
Mark Jarecke Dance premieres Endo, a full-evening piece exploring relationships between dance & architecture feat. music from Sonic Youth-part of 92nd St. Y's annual modern dance festival; the Duke, 229 W. 42nd St. (7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200, 212-415-5552; 8, $20 [repeats Thurs. & Sat. at 8, Sun. at 2 & 7].
THURSDAY 3/20
Cabaret
"Badomi DeCesare: Almost Texas" Globe-trekking chanteuse DeCesare returns performing country western songs incl. "Love Me Tender" & "I Fall to Pieces" w/the help of a seven-piece country band; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 & $10 min.
MC Robert Cohen Talk show host Cohen, aka "the White Oprah," interviews Ed Helms & Andres du Bouchet; Siberia in Exile Bar, 356 W. 40th St. (9th Ave.), 646-674-1710; 8, $5 don. to medical marijuana research-yeah right.
"Fisherman's Famous San Francisco Burlesque" feat. live music & performances by weekly headliners Harvest Moon & Julie Atlas Muz backed by the Xylophonic Orchestra; the Marquee, 356 Bowery (betw. Great Jones & E. 4th Sts.), 212-475-7621; 10 & 11:30, $5.
Girlsalon Janine Avril hosts lesbian/queer variety show feat. Penny Arcade and Susana Cook; Meow Mix, 269 E. Houston St. (Suffolk St.), 212-254-0688; 8, $7.
Comedy
Joan Rivers Her less-than-supportive wishes to her I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here daughter Melissa were merely a warm-up to her upcoming critiques of non-related Oscar night red carpet walkers-proceeds benefit God's Love We Deliver & Guide Dogs for the Blind; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-2680; 7, $25.
Dance
Jean Vitrano Evening of three solos incl. "Shift," new work exploring "repetition and its tendency to disintegrate and transform," w/ "In My Skin" & "Night Blooming Jasmine"; Joyce Soho, 155 Mercer St. (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-7479; 8, $15 [repeats Fri. & Sat.].
Sideways Choreographer Eliza Miller joins composer Alan Bern to pres. collaborative works incl. 2001's "Maerchen" and this year's premiere "Sideways"; St. Marks Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-8194; 8:30, $15 [repeats Fri.-Sun.].
FRIDAY 3/21
Cabaret
Burlesque on the Bowery Murray Hill hosts the World Famous Pontani Sisters and other performers incl. *BOB* & The Washed Up Blondes for a night of "baudy burlesque and Murray magic"; the Marquee, 356 Bowery (betw. Great Jones & E. 4th Sts.), 212-475-7621; 10, $10.
"Coney Island Freak Show" feat. classic freaks & human oddities incl. fire & sword swallower Tyler Fyre, bug eater Insectivora, Python charmer Serpentina, glass muncher Professor Todd Robbins & twat twitcher Julie Atlas Muz-plus lewd humor & legions of strippers; Cutting Room, 19 W. 24th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), info 718-372-5159; 8:30, $15.
"Power Boat!" Nautical rock puppet festival-what ever the hell that is!; Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery (betw. 1st Ave. & Bleecker St.), 212-614-0505; 11, $8.
Comedy
"Above Kleptomania Improv & Sketch Comedy Theatre" Erik Marcisak pres. 108 long-form improv artists, in teams w/names like "The Royal We," "The Cowboy & John," "Fade In" & "Your Mom," performing pieces based on audience suggestions; Show World, 671 8th Ave. (betw. 42nd & 43rd Sts.), 917-214-8252; 8 & 10, $10, $8 st./s.c. [repeats Sat.].
Ben Bailey Stand-up w/Wali Collins, Jim David & Tom Cotter; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30 & 10:30, $15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].
"Law & Odor" Improv'd crime, victim & plot twists in this Law & Order rip off where you are the jury; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves), RSVP 212-591-2631; 10:30, $5.
William Stephenson hosts stand-up feat. JJ Ramirez, Ellen Cleghorn, Buddy Bolton & Vanessa Hollingshead; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., $17 & 2 drink min.
"A Very Special Sketch Show" Four original sitcom sketches & video performances entitled "One of the Goys," "the Sisters of Beaver Hall," "Shhh!" & "Make Room for Uncle"; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; 10, $8 [repeats Sat.].
SATURDAY 3/22
Cabaret
"Anthony, Felicia, Dorothy, David and Me" Judy Kreston & Daivd Lahm salute Newley, Sanders, Fields & Lahm w/Tim Ferguson on bass, Michael Lauren on drums; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.
"The Flotilla DeBarge Minstrel Show: One More Time...Twice!" Drag "cross between Angela Bassett and LaWanda Page" performs an encore of her wacked-out solo song and comedy act; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-2680; 7:30, $12.
Cary Hoffman performs Frank Sinatra's "most celebrated 50s classics" w/an 11-piece orchestra-and listen, this guy sounds exactly like Frank; Carnegie Club, 156 West 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-843-8073; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.
"Judy Garland Live!" Tommy Femia, as Judy, performs Garland classics & hits she never got to incl. "Stormy Weather"; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 11, $20 & 2 drink min.
The Lady LoveLace Underground Cabaret Antonee, Ekayani & Miss "L" LoveLace entertain w/song & dance wearing upscale lingerie that's guaranteed to entice; Bar B, 188 Allen St. (Houston St.), 212-982-5336; 7, free.
Va Va Voom Room Miss Astrid hosts night of burlesque, va va vaudeville, strippers, magicians & clowns; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 10:30, $15 & 2 drink min.
Comedy
The Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Ritch Duncan hosts stand-up feat. Christian Finnegan, Larry Getlen, Andy Vastola, Rusty Ward, Rena Zager, Liz Laufer, Eddie Pepitone, Deke Haylon, Ben Morrison, Sara Polon, Sue Brewer & Joe DeVito; East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), 718-624-8878; 9, $5 & 1 drink min.
Kundalini Komedy Comedy Troupe performs; Joyous Life Center, 119 W. 23rd St. #700 (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), RSVP 212-352-9910; 8, $10.
Kerry McNally hosts stand-up feat. Laurie Kilmartin, Brad Trackman, Todd Lynn, Ellen Cleghorn, Joe Vega & Tony Rock; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 6, 8, 10:15 & 12:30 a.m., $17 & 2 drink min.
"Meat" Female troupe feat. Elizabeth Ellis, Reggan Holland, Margot B. Leitman, Becky Poole & Livia Scott serve up raw sketch that makes Mad Cow seem safe; Cinema Classics, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Ave.), 212-677-5368; 7, $7.
"No Name...And a Bag O' Chips" Eric J. Vetter & Dawn J. Owens host variety show w/guests incl. Roger Hailes, Jodi Young, Joe Dixon, Liz Laufer & Todd Montesi-plus delightfully dumb door prizes, an after party & free bag o' chips.; Common Basis Theatre, 750 8th Ave. (betw. 46th & 47th Sts.), 212-928-1950; 11:30, free.
"Poole Party!" Ron Poole returns w/his hit comedy-variety show feat. stand-up, musical & improv provoked laughs; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.
"The Rock Albers Show: An Evening of Comedy & Songs" Albers, wearing his trademark Brooks Bros. suit & fuzzy pink bunny ears & tail, performs crafty comedy song critiques of Martha Stewart-he did it before it was cool!-state flags & the Berenstain Bears; Rose's Turn, 55 Grove St. (betw. 7th Ave. & Christopher St.), tkts 212-206-1515; 9, $10 & 2 drink min.
10:17 Comedy Night: Show Number 99 Michael Birch, Bricken Sparacino & the 10:17 Comedy Troupe pres. sketches counting down to their 100th & last show & stand-up from Laurie Kilmartin, Jason O'Connell & Andres du Bouchet-plus Oscar Mayer awards to the worthy; Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-545-8000; 10, $5.
Dance
"The Dance Game" Broadway's From the Horse's Mouth dancers incl. Martine van Hamel & Dudley Williams join tap great Harold Cromer & others in discussions feat. demos of their inspiring mentors-plus dance clips from movies incl. Billy Elliot and the Little Colonel; Walter Reade Theater, Lincoln Center, 165 W. 65th St. (B'way), 212-875-5570; 11:30 & 2, $16.50, $8.50 children.
SUNDAY 3/23
Cabaret
"High Standards" Susan Speidel becomes elated w/Peter Candela on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 3, $12 min [repeats Mon. & Tues. at 8].
Judy's Annual Academy Awards Telecast Watch last year's winners hand-out golden boys while munching complimentary cinema snacks-will there be Whoppers?; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8, $12 min.
The Priesto Magic Spectacular Father Jerry Jecewiz-aka Priesto-performs magic, illusions & comedy incl. making animals appear & disappear at his high school alma mater; St. Thomas the Apostle Aud., Jamaica Ave. (88th St.), Woodhaven, 718-847-3904; 3, $8, $7 adv.
"Sixth-Annual Fez Oscar Party" Drag king Murray Hill hosts the best Oscar party in town feat. Joan Rivers' E! pre-show & awards broadcast on a giant screen, movie trivia games w/memorabilia prizes, Murray acting out his favorite nominated-film scenes & the Wau-Wau Sisters; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-2680; 7:15, $10.
Comedy
Asssscat 3000 Upright Citizens Brigade temporarily moves down the block but keeps on keeping on w/unique long form improv feat. guests from SNL & Conan; Chelsea Playhouse, 125 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 7:30 & 9:30, $0-$7.
MONDAY 3/24
Cabaret
The Best Things in Life Are Free: The 1920's With DeSylva, Brown & Henderson" Historian Max Wilk & Broadway cast perform Tin Pan Alley hits written between 1925 & 1931 by Buddy DeSylva, Lew Brown & Ray Anderson-followed by reception; 7, $20-$30.
Comic Rhythm Variety showcase feat. stand-up, sketch, musical & alternative acts from comedians incl. Wendy Spero, Jen Kirwin, Joe Dixon & Jeff Kreisler; Three of Cups, 83 1st Ave. (5th St.), 212-388-0059; 8, $3.
"Have A Little Paris on Me" Former Moulin Rouge performer Debbie de Coudreaux celebrates her debut CD's release at show w/the same name; Danny's Skylight Room, 346 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), RSVP 212-265-8133; 9:15, $15 & $10 drink min.
Leer Mondays Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita rock us weekly w/unique renditions of TLC's "No Scrubs" & Las Ketchups' "Hey Hah"-no pop hit is safe!; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10, $12 min.
Comedy
"Blue Mondays" Tony Woods hosts comedy from Rondel Hartley, Peaches Rodriguez, Steve Byrnes, Marina Franklin, Travis Postin, Todd Lynn & Marc Theobald; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:45, $5 & 1 drink min.
"Eating It: Comedy With No Standards" Patrick Borelli hosts cult-comedy series feat. no-holds-barred comics incl. Dan Cronin, Kyria Abrahams, Chris Regan, D.J. Hazard, Mike Dorval, Ophira Eisenberg & Gregg Rogell; Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323; 8, $7 incl. free drink.
John Priest Stand-up w/Jessica Kirson, Al Ducharme, Greg Carey, Jackson Perdue & Richie Byrne; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45 to closing, $12 [repeats Tues.].
The Redroom Riot The 10:17ers takeover this Brazilian restaurant bringing you stand-up, music & surprises from a crew feat. Bricken Sparacino, Amanda Melson, Matt Goldich & Mike Birch; Calvin's Redroom, 319 5th Ave. (32nd St.), 212-684-0087; 8, $5, 2-for-1 adm. New York Press readers.
"6:30 Mondays" Greg Contreras hosts stand-up open mic feat. comedians working out the kinks in their routines-one drink gets you five glorious minutes on stage; Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-260-7993; 6:30, 1 drink min.
Dance
"Movement Research at the Judson Church" Michael Mahalchick, Mariangela Lopez, Rebecca Davis & Stephanie Lazzara pres. three new pieces at ongoing experimental performance series; Judson Memorial Church, 55 Washington Sq. S. (Thompson St.), 212-477-0351. 8, free.
TUESDAY 3/25
Comedy
Between A and B: Scenes from our Apartment Midwest couple Dan & Jill Shely Fleming nit-pick via standup, sketch & improv about life, love & the challenges of living together in a 400 sq. ft. E. Village apartment .; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; 8, $15.
"Big Daddy's Addy's Variety Review" Musical comedy show feat. the talents of Adam Roth & the Jaded Six performing original songs & covers in "Stump the Band"-a take off on "Name That Tune"; Arlene Grocery, 95 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.), 212-358-1633; 9:30, $6.
"If We Were Men, We'd Be Famous" Bitter femmes incl. Darcy Casteleiro, Nancy Giles, Gilda Konrad, Suzanne O'Neill & Janet Rosen perform stand-up, storytelling, political humor & dysfunction; Rose's Turn, 55 Grove St. (betw. 7th Ave. & Christopher St.), 212-366-5438; 7, $5 & 2 drink min.
"No Relation" Unrelated hosts Anthony & Joe Devito pres. stand-upers from Comedy Central & Letterman; Rose's Turn, 55 Grove St. (betw. 7th Ave. & Christopher St.), 212-366-5438; 9, $5 & 2 drink min.
"Rick Shapiro: Repeat Offender" Outlaw comic rains on your parade w/edgy stand-up, semi-autobiographical storytelling & plenty of mania; Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery (betw. 1st Ave. & Bleecker St.), 212-614-0505; 9, $12.
Dance
Mark Morris Dance Group returns to BAM for its 18th season w/two old favorites & two NY premieres incl. "Kolam," feat. accompaniment by Indian tabla master Zakir Hussain & pianist Ethan Iverson; BAM Opera House, 30 Lafayette Ave. (Ashland Pl.), 718-636-4100; 7:30, $20-$60.
Life X 3 Helen Hunt, John Tuturro & the phenomenal Brent Spiner (Lt. Cmdr. Data, Lore, Mark Twain, etc.) star in dinner party that serves "cruel observations and high comedy resulting in a hilarious and poignant examination of our most personal intimacies and private longings"; Circle in the Square Theater, 1633 B'way (50th St.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $80 [through 6/29].
Polish Joke Comedy dares to ask the question, "Is being Polish a destiny?"; City Center, 131 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; Weds.-Sun. & Tues. at 7:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $20-$45 [through 4/20].
RECENTLY OPENED
Adult Entertainment Danny Aiello & Jeannie Berlin star in new Elaine May comedy about porn; Variety Arts Theatre, 110 3rd Ave. (betw. 13th & 14th Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 6, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $25-$65.
Almost Live from the Betty Ford Clinic Michael West's biting one-man show explores the bizarre mental landscapes of more than 20 celebrities; Douglas Fairbanks Theater, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds. & Thurs. at 8, $20.
Ballad of Yachiyo "Story of young Japanese-American girl's sexual awakening & tragic end, set against the back-drop of Hawaii's early 20th-century sugar-cane plantation system"; Theatre on Two, 432 W. 42nd St., 3rd fl. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-352-3101; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $15 [through 3/22].
Barbra's Wedding Actor Daniel Stern (Breaking Away, Diner, Home Alone, City Slickers) makes his playwrighting debut; Westside Theater, 407 W. 43rd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8., mats. Sat. at 2:30, Sun. at 3, $60.
Bartenders "There are 1,259,874 bartenders working in the United States today. This is a story about six of them"; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5, mat. Sun. at 3 [through 5/4].
Betty Rules Musical tracks life of female-fronted rock band; Zipper Theater, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Thurs., Tues. at 8, Fri. & Sat. 7 & 10, $30-$45.
Boro Tales: Brooklyn Playwrights spin yarns like "The Dancing Princesses" & "Snow White" (!) B'town style in cabaret environment; BRIC, Fulton St. (Rockwell Pl.), Ft. Greene, 212-352-3101; Fri. & Sat. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $15 [through 3/23].
Buicks Car salesman gets closer to his family via road trip w/"feisty young Mexican secretary"; McGinn/Cazale Theater, 2162 B'way (betw. 76th & 77th Sts.), 212-206-1515; call for times, $15 [through 3/30].
Chemistry Lab "Drama about secret, same-sex relationships between New England high-schoolers in the 70s"; Workshop Theater Co., 312 W. 36th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-695-4173; call for times, $15 [through 3/15].
Erendira Adaptation of Gabriel Garcia Marquez story-"The sad and incredible tale of innocent Erendira and her heartless grandmother"; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; Weds.-Sat. at 8:30, $15 [through 3/15].
The Exonerated Bob Balaban directs Jessica Blank & Erik Jensen's controversial drama based on interviews w/falsely imprisoned death row inmates found innocent & freed; 45 Bleecker St., 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, Sun. at 3 & 7, $55.
The Feast of the Goat Mario Vargas Llosa's play about dictatorship in the Dominican Republic; National Arts Club, 15 Gramercy Park S. (20th St.), 212-475-3424; call for times & prices.
Flower Drum Song Story based on novel by C.Y. Lee about Chinese woman who moves to San Francisco; Virginia Theater, 245 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65-$95.
Frederick Douglass Man of letters/former slave's story on stage at church where he worshipped, married & spoke; Mother AME Zion, 140-146 W. 137th St. (Lenox Ave.), 212-307-7171; Weds., Fri. & Sat. 8, mats. Weds., Fri. & Sat. at 3, $35.
The Gun Club Hunt Holman's treatise on teen angst; Cherry Lane Theater, 38 Commerce St. (Bleecker St.), 212-206-1515; Weds. & Thurs. at 7, Fri. & Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15-$19 [through 3/23].
Hairspray Musical based on John Waters' film about plump girl's attempts to racially integrate teen dance show; Neil Simon Theater, 250 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$100.
Heartbreak House Typical Shaw, where "romance springs ever eternal but never mutual, and the only stable marriages have the least to do with love." The old rascal works in a few riffs on WWI, as well; Theatre 80, 80 St. Mark's Pl. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-598-9802; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 2, $10-$40 [through 4/6].
Hospital Axis Theatre's 5th-annual installment of serial about man in terminal coma. ("He has arrived at this state by various means: an illness, a house fire, drowning in a swimming pool and being lost in the snow-this year he is murdered in error by people in the wrong apartment"); 1 Sheridan Sq., 1 Sheridan Sq. (7th Ave.), 212-807-9300; Fri. & Sat. at 8, $10 [through 4/12].
Kerouac Tom O'Neil (Soldier's Death) directs new production blending fact & fiction; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Sun. at 8, $35 [through 3/16].
La Boheme Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge, Strictly Ballroom) "re-imagines" Puccini's opera (w/English supertitles); Broadway Theatre, 1681 B'way (betw. 52nd & 53rd Sts.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $20-$95.
The Last Two Jews of Kabul Comedy based on true story of "last two Jews" in 2001-era Afghanistan who were found holed up in a synagogue-not speaking to each other; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sun. at 8, mat. Sun. at 2:30, $15 [through 3/16].
Lovecraft: Nightmare Suite "Gothic horror of H.P. Lovecraft on stage for first time"; Common Basis Theater, 750 8th Ave. (46th St.), 212-414-5420; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15, $12 st./s.c. [through 3/30].
Ma Rainey's Black Bottom Whoopi Goldberg & Charles S. Dutton star in revival of August Wilson tale about one group's recording session in 1920s-era Chicago; Royale Theater, 242 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $50-$80 [through 6/29].
MetLife Foundation Play Writing Competition Free reading of the finalists; Gramercy Arts Theater, 138 E. 27th St. (betw. Lexington & 3rd Aves.), 212-889-2850; Tues. at 7 [through 3/25].
Mrs. Warren's Profession George Bernard Shaw captures battle between youth & experience; Looking Glass Theater, 422 W. 57th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-307-9467; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 5, mat. Weds. at 2, $12-$15 [through 3/16].
Nobody Knows I'm a Dog The anonymity of the internet allows six characters to lose themselves in wishful personas & fictional lives, until reality returns w/a vengeance; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; Sun. at 8, $15.
Our Lady of 121st Street New play by Stephen Adly Guirgis (directed by heartthrob Philip Seymour Hoffman) decamps for off-Broadway; Union Sq. Theater, 100 E. 17th St. (Park Ave. S.), 212-505-0700; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30-$65.
Radiant Baby New musical based on life of pop artist Keith Haring; Joseph Papp Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 2, call for prices.
Rhapsody in Seth Growing up gay on Long Island; Actors' Playhouse, 100 7th Ave. (betw. Grove & Bleecker Sts.), 212-239-6200; Thurs. & Fri. at 10, mat. Sat. at 2, $25.
Roses in December This play, like the first novel, is a series of epistles; Urban Stage, 259 W. 30th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $35 [through 3/23].
Say Goodnight Gracie Frank Gorshin plays George Burns, taking you on a guided tour of the famed performer's life incl. his unlikely marriage to Gracie Allen (the words "Together Again" are now engraved on she & George's headstone); Helen Hayes Theatre, 240 W. 44th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65-$70.
Showtune "Celebrating the words and music of Jerry Herman" w/cast of seven; St. Peter's Church, 619 Lexington Ave. (54th St.), 212-935-5820; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds. at 2, Sat. & Sun. at 3, $65 [through 3/30].
Sleeping with Straight Men Based on true story, gay man admits to crushing on hetero during national talk show & is subsequently killed (starring Mink Stole); Maverick Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 7, mat. Sun. at 3, $35-$45.
String Fever New play by Jacquelyn Reingold starring Cynthia Nixon & Evan Handler; Ensemble Studio Theater, 549 W. 52nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sun. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 5, $35 [through 3/23].
Sun-Up 1920s-penned saga inspired by Appalachian army inductee whom, upon arrival at boot camp, asked, "Are this here France?"; Metropolitan Playhouse, 220 E. 4th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-995-5302; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 4, $15, $12 st./s.c. [through 3/30].
Tea at Five Kate Mulgrew (Star Trek Voyager, Ryan's Hope) portrays Katharine Hepburn in new, biographical play by Matthew Lombardo; Promenade Theatre, B'way (76th St.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $25-$60.
The Two Gentlemen of Verona Shakespeare, sir; Theater Ten Ten, 1010 Park Ave. (85th St.), 212-330-1478; call for times, $19 [through 3/23].
Veins and Thumbtacks Jimmy Bonaparte is pissed & he proves it; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sat. at 3, call for prices.
Wrestling Ladies The chance for easy alliteration must have escaped the author (unless of course these women are indeed ladies), an opportunity surely "Stealth Factor," "La Gringita" & "Queen B" would have seized; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (betw. 9th & 10th Sts.), 212-477-5288; call for times, $15 [through 3/16].
Zoo Human Show juxtaposes natures (and in the case of monkeys, gestures) of people & animals; Trilogy Theater, 341 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-316-0400; Thurs. & Sat. at 8, Fri. at 8 & 10:30, $12 [through 3/15].