STAGE WEDNESDAY 2/19 Cabaret "Close Enough for Love" ...

Cabaret

"Close Enough for Love" Martha Lorin, w/Tedd Firth on piano & Jay Leonhart on bass, proves it's all about proximity; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min..

The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita update the lounge act w/classics like "Stairway to Heaven" & cheesy renditions of Eminem hits; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].

"One For the Road" Californian cabaret & jazz performer Shelly Cullin performs elegant classics from the Great American Songbook & her faves w/Michael Lavine on piano; the Triad, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), RSVP 212-787-7921; 7:30, $20 & 2 drink min.

Comedy

"Play Ball" Comedy benefit feat. performances by stars from SNL, Comedy Central & HBO?all proceeds benefit Harlem RBI, providing year round programs for East Harlem youths; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), RSVP 212-861-9386; 8, $25 & 2 drink min.

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Nick DiPaolo, Godfrey, Lisa Lampanelli & Tom Papa at great comedy venue; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10-$15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 9 & 11, Fri. at 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., Sat. at 7:30, 9:15, 11 & 12:45 a.m.].

Reverend Jen's Anti-Slam Rev. Jen hosts open mic, seven years strong, where writers, comedians, sketch comics, musicians & freaks do their thang for six minutes; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; 7:30 sign-up, $3.

Dance

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. Sally Silvers & Dancers in "Spaced Out" at DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, call for price [through 3/9].

New York City Ballet continues its winter repertory season at the New York State Theater, Lincoln Center Plaza, B'way (63rd St.), 212-870-5570; call for times, prices & complete sched. [through 3/2].

Wendy Osserman Dance Co. pres. "The Politics of Being More Than One" at the Kitchen, 512 W. 19th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-255-5793; 8, $20, $10 st./s.c. [repeats Thurs.-Sat.].

THURSDAY 2/20

Cabaret

"Journeys of the Heart" Jan Prokop returns to Judy's w/Frank Ponzio on piano; 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min. [repeats Sun. at 5:30].

Comedy

MC Robert Cohen Talk show host Cohen (AKA "the White Oprah") interviews Jessi Klein; Siberia, 356 W. 40th St., upstairs (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), www.mcrobertcohen.com; 8, $5 don. to medical marijuana research?yeah right!

"Comic Rhythm" San Francisco's comedy/variety showcase pres. the best stand-up, sketch, music & alternative performers around; the Mustang Grill, 1633 2nd Ave. (85th St.), RSVP 800-529-2765; 8, $5.

Dance

Annual Spring Dance Performances, regardless of the weather, commence today at Juilliard Theater, 155 W. 65th St. (betw. B'way & Amsterdam Ave.), 212-721-6500; call for times, prices & complete sched. [through Sun.].

Kate Gyllenhaal/MoCo Two premieres plus live music by Las Senoritas & "Chromozone," a "dance film," at Symphony Space, 2537 B'way (95th St.), 212-864-5400; 8:30.

Life's Tango Tango musical of passion & elegance; Thalia Spanish Theater, 41-17 Greenpoint Ave., Sunnyside, Queens, 718-729-3880, www.thaliatheatre.org; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. at 3, Sun. at 4, $22-$28 [through 3/16].

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. Peggy Peloquin in "Strategies Stabilizing" & Amy Sue Rosen/Derek Bernstein Projects in "Break/Broke"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, call for price [repeats Fri., through 3/9].

Peggy Baker from Toronto performs "Home" today as part of the "Global Exchange" series at Danspace Project in St. Mark's Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-8194; 8:30, $15 [Fri. & Sat. at 8:30, Sun. at 7:30].

FRIDAY 2/21

Cabaret

"It's all about love?" John DeMarco w/Daryl Kojak on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

Comedy

"Above Kleptomania Improv & Sketch Comedy Theatre" Erik Marcisak pres. 108 long-form improv artists, in teams w/names like "Dr. Awesome," "My Kickass Van," "The Team with No Name" & "Your Mom," performing pieces based on audience suggestions; Show World, Theatre #2, 671 8th Ave. (betw. 42nd & 43rd Sts.), 917-214-8252, www.abovekleptomania.com; 8 & 10, $10, $8 st./s.c. [repeats Sat.].

Rob Magnotti Stand-up w/Jim Gaffigan (Sat. only); Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30 & 10:30, $15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].

Big Jay Oakerson hosts stand-up feat. Lisa Lampanelli, Tony Rock, Dan Naturman, Ross Bennett & Vinnie Brand; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., $15 & 2 drink min.

The Porno Jim Show Start off your weekend right! With porn! Porno Jim & sexy Bex give you what you really want?adults only; Chasama, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 877-BINDLES; 8, $10.

Dance

Amy Kail Dance Troupe of nine perform "From Here" at Merce Cunningham Studio, 55 Bethune St. (betw. West & Washington Sts.), 212-924-0077; 9, $12 [repeats Sat. & Sun. at 8].

Lana Gonzalez Dance Theater modern dance w/Latin twist at the Harry De Jur Playhouse, 466 Grand St. (Pitt St.), 212-722-4128; 8, $10-$16 [repeats Sat. at 2 & 8].

"We Sink As We Run" Evening of dance & theater by Alexandra Beller & Mira Kingsley; Dixon Place at University Settlement Auditorium Theater, 184 Eldridge St. (Rivington St.), 212-219-0736, www.dixonplace.org; 8, $40 [repeats Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7, through 3/2].

SATURDAY 2/22

Cabaret

Cary Hoffman performs Frank Sinatra's "most celebrated 50s classics" w/an 11-piece orchestra?and listen, this guy sounds exactly like Frank; Carnegie Club, 156 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-843-8073; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.

Judy Garland Live! Tommy Femia, as Judy, wows w/perfect renditions of "Stormy Weather" & "By Myself," even performing songs Garland missed out on incl. "Fifty Percent" & "New York, New York"; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 11, $20 & 2 drink min. [through 4/26].

Nancy McGraw w/David Maiocco on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

Va Va Voom Room Miss Astrid hosts night of burlesque, vaudeville, strippers, magicians & clowns at Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 10:30, $15 & 2 drink min.

"What's It All About Albee?" David Vernon quizzes pianist Albee Barr; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 11, $12 min.

Comedy

"Boston Comic Night" Michael Birch, Bricken Sparacino & the 10:17 Comedy Troupe bring you Beantown's best comics Patrick Borelli, Ritch Duncan & Val Kappa?plus music from the Rob & Mark Show, the Mike Birch Caucasian Experience & if you're wearing a Red Sox hat, a can of beans could be yours; Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-932-3767; 10, $5.

Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Find out if there is such a thing as too many comics when Ritch Duncan emcees stand-up feat. Damion Sammarco, Andres du Bouchet, Dan Allen, Eddie Pepitone, Shelagh Ratner, Debbie Shea, Deke Haylon, Denver J. Smith, Nicole Korkolis, Erin Foley & Paul Horrocks; the Boudoir Bar, East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), Brooklyn, 718-624-8878; 9, $5 & 1 drink min.

Kerry McNally hosts stand-up feat. Lenny Marcus, Moody McCarthy, John Bush, Ellen Cleghorn & Joe Vega; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 6, 8, 10:15 & 12:30 a.m., $15 & 2 drink min.

"Poole Party!" Host Ron Poole brings his crazy comedy-variety show back to Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788, www.ronpoole.com; 9, $10 & 2 drink min.

Dance

Ballet Builders Choreographers from Ballet Florida, Sewell Ballet of Minneapolis & the Norweigan National Ballet display their work at the French Institute's Florence Gould Hall, 55 E. 59th St. (betw. Madison & Park Aves.), 212-355-6160; 8, $25 [repeats Sun. at 3].

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. Steven Sapp & Mildred Ruiz in "Eyewitness Blues"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, call for prices [repeats Sun. at 2].

Thunderbird American Indian Dancers Pow-wow tonight at American Indian Community House, 404 Lafayette St. (betw. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-598-0100; 8.

SUNDAY 2/23

Cabaret

"Blackbird" Final encore performance feat. Julie Reyburn w/Suzanne Abbott, Mark Janas on piano & Ritt Henn on bass; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

Jennifer DiLeo debuts w/Fran Minarick on piano at her side; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 3, $12 min. [repeats Tues. at 8:30].

"Working My Way Down" Penny Arcade's solo show, too cool to be called stand-up, breaks down life's idiosyncrasies incl. "Jenny from the Block"; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), RSVP 212-462-9077; 8, $15 & 2 drink min.

Comedy

Tom Soter's Sunday Night Improv See comedy legends mix w/up-&-comers for night of improved skits, games & musical numbers; the Little Theater at the West Side YMCA, 5 W. 63rd St. (Central Park W.), 212-353-7716; 7, $10.

MONDAY 2/24

Cabaret

"I Love to Sing!" So says Jeffrey Miller w/David Brunetti on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

"Monday Evening Burlesque" Classic burlesque entertainment, complete w/"tassel-twirling fun", returns to the front room cabaret stage at Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Kent & Wythe Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-782-5188; 9:30, free.

Comedy

"Blue Mondays" Tony Woods hosts comedy from the best incl. Todd Lynn, Dean Edwards, Steve Byrne, Kyle Grooms, Dawnel Rawlings & Rondel Hartley; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:45, $5 & 1 drink min.

"Eating It: Comedy With No Standards" Andres du Bouchet hosts cult-comedy series feat. no holds barred comics incl. Jon Fisch, Debbie Shea, Eddie Brill, Todd Barry, Becky & Noelle, first timer Allison Silverman, Moody McCarthy & Randy Rush; Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323; 8, $7 incl. free drink.

"Red Room Riot" 10:17ers Mike Birch & Bricken Sparacino takeover this Brazilian restaurant to bring you stand-up, music & surprises from a crew feat. Ritch Duncan; Calvin's Redroom, 319 5th Ave. (32nd St.), 212-684-0087; 8, $5, 2-for-1 adm. for New York Press readers.

"6:30 Mondays" Greg Contreras hosts stand-up open mic w/fresh new talent working out the kinks in their routines?one drink gets you five glorious minutes on stage; Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Sullivan & Thompson Sts.), 212-260-7993; 6:30, 1 drink min.

TUESDAY 2/25

Cabaret

"Carol's Cabaret Cavalcade" Evoking Carol Channing, host Richard Skipper pres. music from Marnie Baumer, Ellen Bollinger, Stephanie Cheek, Linda Fields, Helen Klass & Bryon Sommers w/Michael Lavine on piano; the Triad, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), RSVP 212-787-7921; 7, $20 & 2 drink min.

"A Night with Adam Roth & the Jaded Six" Musical comedy show feat. talents of Joe Vincent, Alec Morton, George Gilmore & C.P. Roth performing original songs & covers in "Stump the Band"?a take off on "Name That Tune," stump 'em & win a prize; Arlene Grocery, 95 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.), 212-358-1663; 9:30, $5.

Comedy

Between A & B: Scenes from Our Apartment Chicago improv transplants & married couple Dan & Jill Shely Fleming share practical relationship advice, based on knowledge they reaped from cohabiting in a 400 sq. ft. East Village walk-up; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; 8, $15, $10 adv.

Dance

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. Dawn Akemi Saito in "Blood Cherries"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, call for prices [through 3/16].

THEATER

Performance times follow the paper's publishing schedule (Weds.-Tues.). We recommend calling theaters to verify.

IN PREVIEWS

Barbra's Wedding Actor Daniel Stern (Breaking Away, Diner, Home Alone, City Slickers) makes his playwrighting debut at Westside Theater, 407 W. 43rd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8., mats. Sat. at 2:30, Sun. at 3, $60 [opens 3/5].

Erendira Adaptation of Gabriel Garcia Marquez story?"The Sad and Incredible Tale of Innocent Erendira and Her Heartless Grandmother"; Here, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; call for times [opens 2/24, through 3/15].

Our Lady of 121st Street New play by Stephen Adly Guirgis (directed by heart throb Philip Seymour Hoffman) decamps for off-Broadway; Union Sq. Theater, 100 E. 17th St. (Park Ave. S.), 212-505-0700; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30-$65 [opens 3/6].

Polish Joke Comedy dares to ask the question, "Is being Polish a destiny?"; City Center, 131 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; Weds.-Sun. & Tues. at 7:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $20-$45 [opens 3/18, through 4/20].

Showtune "Celebrating the words and music of Jerry Herman" w/cast of seven at the Theater at St. Peter's Church, 619 Lexington Ave. (54th St.), 212-935-5820; call for times, $65 [opens 2/27, through 3/30].

The Two Gentlemen of Verona Shakespeare at Theater Ten Ten, 1010 Park Ave. (85th St.), 212-288-3246, ext. 3; call for times, $19 [opens 2/22, through 3/23].

Veins and Thumbtacks Jimmy Bonaparte is pissed (Weds. show to benefit City Harvest); Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-712-7922; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sat. at 3, call for prices [opens 2/20].

Worm Day "A transforming encounter with an earthworm and the magic of public radio" (?) force two bibliophiles together at DR2 Theater, 103 E. 15th St. (betw. Park Ave. S. & Irving Pl.), 212-505-0858; call for times, $15 [opens 2/23, through 3/9].

RECENTLY OPENED

Adult Entertainment Danny Aiello & Jeannie Berlin star in new Elaine May comedy about porn; Variety Arts Theatre, 110 3rd Ave. (betw. 13th & 14th Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.- Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 6, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $25-$65.

Aftermath: Seven Original One-Act Plays "Wide array of comedy & drama?from today's up and coming playwrights"; Sande Shurin Theater, 311 W. 43rd St. 6th fl. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.) 212-592-0310; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7, $15 [through 2/23].

Almost Live from the Betty Ford Clinic Michael West's biting one-man show explores the bizarre mental landscapes of more than 20 celebrities; Douglas Fairbanks Theater, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds. & Thurs. at 8, $20.

At Sea Between the Wars David Gilman (Ghost in the Machine) offers comic take on dreams of a man considering his own death; 345 W. 45th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, $15 [through 3/1].

Bartenders "There are 1,259,874 bartenders working in the United States today. This is a story about six of them"; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5, mat. Sun. at 3.

Betty Rules Musical tracks life of female-fronted rock band; Zipper Theater, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times & prices.

The Blacks: A Clown Show Jean Genet's "story of a troupe of black actors who reenact the ritualistic rape & murder of a white woman before a court of black actors elaborately masked as caricatures of the English upper class"; Harlem School of the Arts, 645 St. Nicholas Ave. (141st St.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $19 [through 2/23].

Call It Peace: Meditations from North America New play written by Anthony P. Pennino inspired by the kidnapping of Daniel Pearl; 13th St. Rep, 50 W. 13th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-675-6677; Thurs.-Sat. at 7, $10-$15 [through 3/1].

Comedians Trevor Griffith's adaptation of 1974 British play about stand-up comics debating stardom; Acorn, Theatre Row Complex, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $35-$50 [through 2/23].

Cookin' at the Cookery: The Music & Times of Alberta Hunter Musical traces life of blues singer whose first recorded track, "Down Hearted Blues" (1921), became Bessie Smith's first hit; Theater 3, 311 W. 43rd St., 3rd fl. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45 [through 3/2].

The Exonerated Bob Balaban directs Jessica Blank & Erik Jensen's controversial drama based on interviews w/falsely imprisoned death row inmates found innocent & freed; 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, Sun. at 3 & 7, $55.

Far and Wide English language version of Arthur Schnitzler's Das Weite Land at the Mint Theater, 311 W. 43rd St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-315-0231; call for times, $19-$35 [through 3/9].

Fear: An Issues Project Previous Naked Angels Co. "issues projects" incl. censorship, gun control, etc.; Greenwich St. Theater, 547 Greenwich St. (betw. Charlton & Vandam Sts.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Mon. at 8, $15 [through 3/2].

Fifth of July First Lanford Wilson play in Talley Trilogy follows the lives of 60s radicals during two-day reunion & stars Robert Sean Leonard & Parker Posey; Signature Theater Company, 555 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-244-PLAY; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $55 [through 3/9].

Flower Drum Song Story based on novel by C.Y. Lee about Chinese woman who moves to San Francisco; Virginia Theater, 245 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65-$95.

Four Play Four one-acts: Pinter's The Lover, Pillow Talk, After Loyal & Bachelorette at Abingdon Theater, 432 W. 42nd St., 4th Fl. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-560-4343; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $15 [through 3/1].

Frederick Douglass Man of letters/former slave's story on stage at church where he worshipped, married & spoke; Mother AME Zion, 140-146 W. 137th St. (Lenox Ave.), 212-307-7171; Weds., Fri. & Sat. 8, mats. Weds., Fri. & Sat. at 3, $35.

From the Top A new comedy by Scott C. Sickles & Max Montel; the Workshop, 312 W. 36th St. (8th Ave.), 212-695-4173; Thurs.-Mon. at 8, $15 [through 2/22].

The Gifted Program Shit hits the fan when four "gifted" D&D freaks get transferred to?gasp, public school!; Center Stage, 48 W. 21st St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 2, $15 [through 2/23].

Guys & Babies, Sex & Gods Saturday Night Live alum Julia Sweeney, in her "late 30s," adopts toddler to see if dating is easier as a single mom; Ars Nova Theater, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Fri. at 8, Sat. at 7, $20 [through 2/22].

Hairspray Musical based on John Waters' film about plump girl's attempts to racially integrate teen dance show; Neil Simon Theater, 250 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$100.

Hank Williams: Lost Highway Musical celebrates wild life of a country music legend; Manhattan Ensemble Theater, 55 Mercer St. (betw. Broome & Grand Sts.), 212-925-1900; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $40-$45 [through 2/23].

Heartbreak House Typical Shaw, where "romance springs ever eternal but never mutual, and the only stable marriages have the least to do with love." The old rascal works in a few riffs on WWI, as well; Theatre 80, 80 St. Mark's Pl. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-598-9802; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 2, $10-$40 [through 4/6].

Helen "Theodora Skipitares re-tells the myth of Helen of Troy"; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sun. at 7:30, $20 [through 2/23].

Hopscotch: the New York Sex Comedy Written & directed by Wendy R. Williams (not to be confused w/the star of Reform School Girls); the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-206-1515; Weds. at 8, $15 [through 3/5].

It Just Catches Scenes from Hemingway's short stories set to the music of Cole Porter; Cherry Lane Theater, 38 Commerce St. (Bleecker St.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $55.

Julius Caesar 24th season on the theme of betrayal continues at Lucille Lortel Theater, 121 Christopher St. (betw. Hudson & Bleecker Sts.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $55 [through 3/2].

Kerouac Tom O'Neil (Soldier's Death) directs new production blending fact & fiction; Producer's Club II, 616 9th Ave. (betw. 43rd & 44th Sts.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Sun. at 8, $35 [through 2/23].

La Boheme Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge, Strictly Ballroom) re-imagines Puccini's opera (w/English supertitles); Broadway Theatre, 1681 B'way (betw. 52nd & 53rd Sts.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $20-$95.

A Life in the Theatre David Mamet's play about two different actors w/two different takes on the profession; Wings Theater, 154 Christopher St. (betw. Greenwich & Washington Sts.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $19 [through 3/8].

Ma Rainey's Black Bottom Whoopi Goldberg & Charles S. Dutton star in revival of August Wilson tale about one group's recording session in 1920s-era Chicago; Royale Theater, 242 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $50-$80 [through 6/29].

Mandatory Field Trip "An evening of short plays, stop-motion animation & the chance to win a mohair thong"; Manhattan Theater Source, 177 MacDougal St. (8th St.), 212-501-4751; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15 [through 3/1].

Medea Euripedes' classic tale of woman's unrelenting & terrible revenge on her husband, starring Fiona Shaw; Brooks Atkinson Theater, 256 W. 47th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sat. at 2, $60-$80 [through 2/22].

Mrs. Warren's Profession George Bernard Shaw captures battle between youth & experience at Looking Glass Theater, 422 W. 57th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-307-9467; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 5, mat. Weds. at 2, $12-$15 [through 3/16].

The Nastiest Drink in the World Vital Theatre Company pres. Mark Lowenstern's folk tale that follows King Fredipus & the silly, unopposed laws of his kingdom; 432 W. 42nd St., 3rd fl. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-592-4508; call for times, $14 [through 2/23].

Nobody Knows I'm a Dog The anonymity of the internet allows six characters to lose themselves in wishful personas & fictional lives, until reality returns w/a vengeance; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-457-5498; Sun. at 8, $15.

Radiant Baby New musical based on life of pop artist Keith Haring at the Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, call for prices.

Requiem for William Based on the plays of Jack Cummings III; Connelly Theater, 220 E. 4th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15-$50 [through 3/2].

Say Goodnight Gracie Frank Gorshin plays George Burns, taking you on a guided tour of the famed performer's life incl. his unlikely marriage to Gracie Allen (the words "Together Again" are now engraved on she & George's headstone); Helen Hayes Theatre, 240 W. 44th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65-$70.

The Seagull Still Chekhov, though not the same?this being the "laugh-out-loud, Americanized version"; Trilogy Theater, 341 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $18.50.

Sleeping with Straight Men Based on true story, gay man admits to crushing on hetero during national talk show & is subsequently killed (starring Mink Stole); Maverick Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 7, mat. Sun. at 3, $35-$45.

Three Women in Indecision Couple of gals who've forgotten, despite trashy reality shows, that this remains greatest country on earth work out their angst; West Side Dance Project, 357 W. 36th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-330-7120; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15 [through 3/1].

Tuesdays with Morrie David Esbjornson directs Mitch Albom's touching autobiographical tale feat. Alvin Epstein as Morrie & Jon Tenney as Mitch; Minetta Lane Theater, 18 Minetta La. (6th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 3, $45-$65.

Twelfth Night/Uncle Vanya Sam Mendes (director of American Beauty & stage production of Cabaret) pres. new renditions of Shakespeare & Chekhov, performed by London's Donmar Warehouse (cast incl. Emily Watson); BAM's Harvey Theater, 651 Fulton St. (betw. Rockwell & Ashland Pls.), Fort Greene, 718-636-4100 for sched.; $30-$75 [through 3/9].

Who Killed Woody Allen? Apparently this play as a certain control freak's panties in a bunch. It resumes at the Triad Theatre, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), 212-352-3101; Thurs. & Fri. at 9, $15 [through 3/7].

The Winter's Tale Shakespeare returns to Classic Stage Co. after 16 years; 136 E. 13th St. (betw. 3rd & 4th Aves.), 212-315-2120; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $35-$50 [through 2/23].

The Woman from the Sea Based on Ibsen's original Norwegian script, The Lady from the Sea; T. Schreiber Studio, 151 W. 26th St., 7th fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-741-0265; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 2/23].