STAGE WEDNESDAY 1/8 Cabaret The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel ...

Cabaret

The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita update the lounge act w/classics like "Stairway to Heaven" & cheesy renditions of Eminem hits; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].

"A New Show" Tennie Leonard encores her fabulous show w/David Brunetti on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min. [repeats Thurs.]

"So in Love: The Love Songs of Cole Porter" Andrea Marcovicci celebrates her 15th year at the Algonquin w/new show feat. hits "Why Can't You Behave?" & "Let's Not Talk About Love"; the Oak Room, Algonquin Hotel, 59 W. 44th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-944-3109; 9 [repeats Thurs. at 9, Fri. & Sat. at 9 & 11:30].

Comedy

Jessica Kirson Stand-up w/John Rizzo, Carrie Karavas, Nancy Redman, Kevin Brennan & Steve Marshall; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45 to closing, $12.50-$20 [repeats Thurs. & Sun. 8:45 to closing, Fri. at 8:30 & 10:30, Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Tom Papa, Lisa Lampanelli, Godfrey & Greg Giraldo at great comedy venue; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10-$15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 9 & 11, Fri. at 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., Sat. at 7:30, 9:15, 11 & 12:45 a.m.].

Dance

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. ChameckiLerner in "Visible Content"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7 [repeats Sat. & Sun., through 1/26].

New York City Ballet continues its winter repertory season at the New York State Theater, Lincoln Center Plaza, B'way (63rd St.), 212-870-5570; call for times, prices & complete sched. [through 3/2].

THURSDAY 1/9

Comedy

Joan Rivers Catch her celebrity bashing show here before she attempts to take it to Broadway; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 6:30, $25.

Dance

"Everybody Dance Alphabet" Easy to learn! w/Anita Cheng Dance at Merce Cunningham Studio, 55 Bethune St. (betw. West & Washington Sts.), 212-924-0077; 9, $15, $12 st./s.c. [repeats Fri. at 9, Sat. at 8].

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. Jeanine Durning in "Half Urge"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7 [repeats Fri., through 1/19].

Wally Cardona Quartet in "Morph: Live Remix" at Danspace Project at St. Mark's Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-8194; 8:30, $15 [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 8:30, Sun. at 7:30].

FRIDAY 1/10

Cabaret

"Lovely" Kelly Briggs & Jerry Christakos star in this musical comedy feat. John McMahon on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

Comedy

"Laughter is the Sound of Bliss" Comedian Chris Rush shares the gift of laughter in hopes of bringing you closer to your inner self?plus the show's produced by George Carlin, so how can it go wrong!?; the Maverick Theatre, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), tkts. 212-206-1515; 8, $10 [repeats Sat. & Sun.].

Tom Schilue Stand-up w/Andrew Kennedy, Walli Collins & Russ Meneve; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9 & 10, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 8, 10 & 12:30 a.m.].

Spanky (Stephen Kent) Stand-up w/Jessica Kirson, Andrew Kennedy & John Baitsell; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 8, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

Dance

"Crossroads" Jette Performance Co. offers a "jazz/modern/funk ballet celebrating the history of dance in America"; Broadway Dance Center, 221 W. 57th St. (B'way), 212-582-9304; 10, $12-$15 [repeats Sat. at 8].

A Dos Vidas "blends memories of love, death, insanity & a life torn between Nicaragua & New York"?text, choreography & performance by Eva Gasteazoro; Brooklyn Arts Exchange, 421 5th Ave. (8th St.), Bklyn, 718-832-0018; 8, $8-$15.

SATURDAY 1/11

Cabaret

Cary Hoffman performs Frank Sinatra's "most celebrated 50s classics" w/an 11-piece orchestra?& listen, this guy sounds exactly like Frank; Carnegie Club, 156 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-843-8073; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.

"I Love to Sing!" Jeffrey Miller performs w/David Brunetti on piano. The question remains, will we love to listen?; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min. [repeats Tues.].

Va Va Voom Room Miss Astrid hosts night of burlesque, vaudeville, strippers, magicians & clowns at Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 10:30, $15 & 2 drink min.

Comedy

"Gay & Lesbian Comedy Fest!" The fabulous Michael Conley hosts night of stand-up & musical comedy from the queer set incl. Sidney Meyer, Alana Devich, Kristine Zbornik, Craig Coursey, Amanda Melson & Poppi Kramer; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

"No Name?And a Bag O' Chips" Eric J. Vetter & Dawn J. Owens host variety show w/guest incl. Tonya Nash, Joanna Parson, Roger Hailes & Pete Glismann & feat. delightfully dumb door prizes, an after party & a free bag o' chips; Common Basis Theatre, 750 8th Ave., 5th fl. (betw. 46th & 47th Sts.), 212-928-1950; 11:30, free.

Stand-up Comedy at Sam's feat. stand-up comedians from Comedy Central & late-night tv making appearances; Sam's Restaurant, 263 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-719-5416; 8:30, $10 & $10 min.

"The Wide, Wide World of Surf Comedy" Proprietor Robert Pricher raises funds for his soon-to-be homeless venue (Surf Reality) w/benefit feat. Henry Faulkner, Johnny McGovern, Shauna Lane, Via Satellite, Zeroboy, Rev. Jen, Andrew Katz, Jamie Sneider, house band Dweller & go-go girls Faith Fearless & Becky Hermos?as part of HA! Comedy Fest; Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St., 1st fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; 8, $10 don.

SUNDAY 1/12

Cabaret

Cabaret Night Ann DeSign hosts as comedians Patrick Lamb, Sheila Ratner & Stephanie Blum pray for the luck of the Irish; Irish Art Center, 553 W. 51st St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-757-3318; 7, $5 don.

"Magical Madness" Albert Cadabra, Adam Cardone & George Gorlick pres. ancient torture rituals, mind reading, voice throwing & "the blood & flames of hell" during vaudevillian magic show; the Bindlestiff Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 877-BINDLES; 8, call for prices.

Julie Sher returns to Judy's w/the Robert Fekstein Duo; 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

Comedy

Tom Soter's Sunday Night Improv See comedy legends mix with up & comers for night of improved skits, games & musical numbers; the Little Theater at the West Side YMCA, 5 W. 63rd St. (Central Park W.), 212-353-7716; 7, $10.

Dance

"Dance Sampler" Works by Dance Council, Jette Performance Co., Feraba African Rhythm Tap & many more; Broadway Dance Center, 221 W. 57th St. (B'way), 212-582-9304; 7 & 9, $12-$15.

MONDAY 1/13

Cabaret

Astrid Hadad The Mexican singer & her band Los Tarzanes perform visually stimulating cabaret (that borders on performance art) feat. costumes, eclectic influences & tequila; Joseph Papp Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-239-6200; 9:30, $20.

"Leer Mondays" Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita rocked us into the New Year w/unique renditions of TLC's "No Scrubs" & Las Ketchups' "Hey Hah," what's next?; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10, $12 min.

Ute Lemper German cabaret legend shares a sneak preview of her upcoming 2004 tour, "All That Jazz" feat. international cabaret classics; Joseph Papp Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-239-6200; 11:30, $20.

Comedy

Steve Marshall Stand-up w/Greg Vacarello, Billy Burr, Greg Rogell, Jackson Perdue & Jessica Kirson; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45 to closing, $12.50 [repeats Tues.].

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Kevin Brennan, Mitch Fatel, Godfrey & Robert Kelly at great comedy venue; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Tues.].

"6:30 Mondays" Greg Contreras hosts stand-up open mic feat. fresh talent working out the kinks in their routines?one drink gets you five glorious minutes on stage; the Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Sullivan & Thompson Sts.), 212-260-7993; 6:30, 1 drink min.

TUESDAY 1/14

Dance

"The Bridge" New works-in-progress series feat. Tracy Bersley w/Teatro de la Culebra, Holly Handman, Ali Kenner & the Immediate Theater Company; Williamsburg Art Nexus, WAX, 205 N. 7th St. (betw. Driggs Ave. & Roebling St.), Williamsburg, 718-599-7997; 8, $10.

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. Cynthia Oliver in "AfroSocialiteLifeDiva"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7 [through 2/2].

 

THEATER

Performance times follow the paper's publishing schedule (Weds.-Tues.). We recommend calling theaters to verify.

IN PREVIEWS

Art, Life, & Show-Biz, A Non-Fiction Play "Life in the theater and the theater in life" created by Ain Gorden?pieces together true stories, research, myths & interviews at P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; Weds.-Sun. at 7:30, $15 [opens 1/9, through 1/26].

Comedians Trevor Griffith's adaptation of 1974 British play about stand-up comics debating stardom; Samuel Beckett Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $35 [opens 1/15, through 2/23].

Cookin' at the Cookery: The Music & Times of Alberta Hunter Musical traces life of blues singer whose first recorded track, "Down Hearted Blues" (1921), became Bessie Smith's first hit; Theater 3, 311 W. 43rd St., 3rd fl. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Tues. at 8, $45 [opens 1/22, through 3/2].

Corner Wars Tale follows drug trade in Philly w/original hiphop music; 47th St. Theater, 304 W. 47th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Mon. & Tues. at 8, $40-$45, $25 st./s.c. [opens 1/19, through 2/2].

Kerouac Tom O'Neil (Soldier's Death) directs new production blending fact & fiction; Producer's Club II, 616 9th Ave. (betw. 43rd & 44th Sts.), 212-352-3101; Sat. & Sun. at 3, Mon. at 8, $35 [opens 1/26, through 2/23].

Love/Sad Pilot crashes on the moon & befriends mysterious girl; Clemente Soto Vélez Cultural Center, 107 Suffolk St. (Delancey St.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15 [opens 1/11, through 1/25].

The Mystery of Attraction Brothers Ray (attorney) & Warren (cop) struggle w/temptation of all things scandalous; Tribeca Playhouse, 111 Reade St. (betw. W. B'way & Hudson St.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, Sun. at 5, $15 [opens 1/12, through 1/27].

The Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert & Sullivan Players; City Center, 145 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; Fri. & Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $35-$65 [through 1/26].

Shanghai Moon Murder/mystery set in 1931 China, written by & starring Charles Busch; Greenwich House Theater, 27 Barrow St. (7th Ave. S.), 212-633-9632; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 7, $35 [opens 1/16, through 2/9].

RECENTLY OPENED

Adult Entertainment Danny Aiello & Jeannie Berlin star in new Elaine May comedy about porn; Variety Arts Theatre, 110 3rd Ave. (betw. 13th & 14th Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7:30, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $25-$65.

Almost Live from the Betty Ford Clinic Michael West's biting one-man show explores the bizarre mental landscapes of more than 20 celebrities; Douglas Fairbanks Theater, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds. & Thurs. at 8, $20.

Angry Jellow Bubbles Eva Minemar's production allowing women to perform their memoirs on stage?now in its fourth year at the Workshop Theater Co., 312 W. 36th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-465-3410; Tues. at 7, $12 [through 1/19].

The Art of the Fugitive: The Paradoxical Life of Paul Celan One-off play on European/Jewish writer; 92nd St. Y, 1395 Lexington Ave. (92nd St.), 212-415-5500; Mon. at 8, $40.

Betty Rules Musical tracks life of female-fronted rock band; Zipper Theater, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Thurs. & Tues. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 5, $29.90-$44.90 [through 2/2].

Class Mothers '68 Priscilla Lopez becomes a seductive divorcee, a Puerto Rican seamstress, a Holocaust survivor, a sculptor's wife, a yenta & a community theater director. The goal: produce a musical tribute to their children, about to graduate from high school; Theatre Row Complex, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45 [through 2/9].

Debbie Does Dallas Cumming-of-age story based on film of same name feat. original music & new cheers?but the girls keep their clothes on. Hilariously funny & still slightly crude; Jane Street Theatre, 113 Jane St. (betw. Washington St. & 10th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Thurs., Mon. & Tues. at 8, Fri. at 8 & 10:30, Sat. at 7 & 10, $30-$50, $25 st.

The Exonerated Bob Balaban directs Jessica Blank & Erik Jensen's controversial drama based on interviews w/falsely imprisoned death row inmates found innocent & freed; 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, Sun. at 3 & 7, $55.

Flower Drum Song Story based on novel by C.Y. Lee about Chinese woman who moves to San Francisco; Virginia Theater, 245 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65-$95.

Gone Home A young writer returns home, trying to reconstruct his childhood & make sense of his adult life; City Center, 131 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; Weds.-Sun. & Tues. at 7:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $45, $20 st. [through 1/26].

Hairspray Musical based on John Waters' film about plump girl's attempts to racially integrate teen dance show; Neil Simon Theater, 250 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$100.

Hank Williams: Lost Highway Musical celebration of the wild life of a country music legend; Manhattan Ensemble Theater, 55 Mercer St. (betw. Broome & Grand Sts.), 212-925-1900; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $40-$45 [through 2/2].

Jennie Richee "brings to life the hallucinatory paintings and fantastical writings of American Outsider Artist Henry Darger in a surreal collage of music, live performance, projections and film"; St. Ann's Warehouse, 38 Water St. (betw. Dock & Main Sts.), DUMBO, 718-858-2424, www.artsatstanns.org; Tues. at 8, $25 [through 1/26].

La Boheme Baz Luhrmann's (Moulin Rouge, Strictly Ballroom) re-imagining of Puccini's opera w/English supertitles; Broadway Theatre, 1681 B'way (betw. 52nd & 53rd Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 2, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $20-$95.

The Last Virgin Bar joke come to life complete w/Christian, Jew & Arab trying to lay the pristine ghost sitting next to them; the Triad Theater, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), 212-494-0050; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sun. at 3, $36 [through 2/9].

Locos de Contento (Happily Mad) Argentinean couple prepares for emigration & a better life in faraway Asia. While wife surrounds herself w/all things Japanese, the husband, along w/Argentina, slips into depression; Gramercy Arts Theater, 138 E. 27th St. (betw. Lexington & 3rd Aves.), 212-889-2850; call for times, $25-$40 [through 1/30].

Medea Euripedes' classic tale of woman's unrelenting & terrible revenge on her husband, starring Fiona Shaw; Brooks Atkinson Theater, 256 W. 47th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sat. at 2, $60-$80 [through 2/22].

Nobody Knows I'm a Dog The anonymity of the internet lets six characters lose themselves in wishful personas & fictional lives, until reality returns w/a vengeance; Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-457-5498; Sun. at 8, $15.

Nude Boys Prancing About Revival of Robert Coles' "value and truth of the gay theater," which also played in 1998 at the Vortex Theater Co., 164 11th Ave. (betw. 22nd & 23rd Sts.), 212-206-1764; Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, Sun. at 5, $19 [through 1/26].

The Plank Project Spoof on documentary theater stars 1100-pound transvestite stuck in a well?somebody's been reading their Beckett; Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-206-1515; Mon. & Tues. at 8, $15 [through 1/31].

The Prince and the Pauper Mark Twain's novel about a man & his doppelganger set to music; Lamb's Theater, 130 W. 44th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $40-$65 [through 1/31].

Psychotherapy Live! Audience members subject themselves to 13-mintue session on the couch w/"therapist" Lisa Levy; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-2680; Sat. at 8, $12 [through 2/1].

Red White Black & Blue Julie Polk plays several characters, incl. a 73-year-old black woman & a teenage boy wanting to set off fireworks, during one hot Fourth of July in Philadelphia; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $12 [through 1/25].

Say Goodnight Gracie Frank Gorshin plays George Burns, taking you on a guided tour of the famed performer's life, incl. his unlikely marriage to Gracie Allen (the words "Together Again" are engraved on she & George's head stone); Helen Hayes Theatre, 240 W. 44th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65-$70.

Slightly Irregular Pat Candaras' (Grandmotherfucker) new autobiographical production starring herself; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; Weds. at 7:30, $10 & 2 drink min. [through 1/29].

A Soldier's Death New drama by Tom O'Neil (Jack Kerouac: Last Call) documenting what title suggests; 13th St. Rep, 50 W. 13th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-675-6677; Thurs.-Sat. at 7, $15, $10 st. [through 1/11].

Supper's Ready Hilarity ensues when oddball cast of characters reunite for family reunion; Here, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; Thurs.-Sat. at 7:30, $15 [through 1/11].

The Tempest Shakespeare's terrifying tragedy/romantic comedy onstage at Pearl Theater, 80 St. Marks Pl. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-598-9802; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 2, $30-$40 [through 1/26].

Tooth & Nail Rob LaRocco & Sam Austin pres. an adventure following two cabaret stars as they bring their show through to the scenic back roads of America, feat. original songs, pop tunes & Broadway standards; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 9:30, $12 & 2 drink min.

Trippin Solo opera by David Rodwin traces his travels from L.A. to NYC; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sat. at 10, Sun. at 5:30, $15 [through 1/12].

Tuesdays with Morrie David Esbjornson directs Mitch Albom's touching autobiographical tale feat. Alvin Epstein as Morrie & Jon Tenney as Mitch; Minetta Lane Theater, 18 Minetta La. (6th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 3, $45-$65.

Twelfth Night/Uncle Vanya Sam Mendes (director of American Beauty & stage production of Cabaret) pres. new renditions of Shakespeare & Chekhov, performed by London's Donmar Warehouse; BAM's Harvey Theater, 651 Fulton St. (betw. Rockwell & Ashland Pl.), Fort Greene, 718-636-4100 or www.bam.org for sched., $30-$75 [through 3/9].

Versus Hour-long one-act about getting it on; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds. & Thurs. at 6:30, Fri. & Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $12 [through 1/12].

Vincent Musical depiction of the life of Van Gogh, who "overcame all obstacles in his path toward greatness." If you consider a one-eared, poverty-stricken suicide to be some sort of fantastic triumph, this is the story for you; Wings Theater, 154 Christopher St. (betw. Greenwich & Washington Sts.), 212-627-2961; Thurs.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3:30, $19.