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STAGE WEDNESDAY 12/5 Cabaret The Gone Show Everybody has some ...

| 16 Feb 2015 | 05:44

    Cabaret

    The Gone Show Everybody has some talent?acrobats, comedians, dancers & singers all take a crack at $100 talent prize; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-782-5188; sign-up at 8:30, 9, free.

    I'll Be Home For Christmas Jane Monheit returns to perform holiday favorites & jazz hits from her recently released album Come Dream With Me; Algonquin Hotel, the Oak Room, 59 W. 44th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-840-6800; 9, $50 & $15 min. [repeats Thurs. & Mon. at 9, Fri. & Sat. at 9 & 11, Sun. at 8].

    Kiki & Herb: There's A Stranger In the Manger! Justin Bond & Kenny Mellman deck this duet w/holiday tinsel feat. Tori Amos' "Crucify," Pink Floyd's "Thin Ice" & the Ramones' "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)"; Westbeth Theater, 151 Bank St. (betw. West & Washington Sts.), 212-741-0391; 8:30, $30-$35 [repeats Thurs.-Sat. & Tues.].

    The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita impress w/retro hits via synthesizer; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].

    Me & My Fanny Marilyn Sokol celebrates the life & career of Fanny Brice w/musical director Ian Herman; Arci's Place, 450 Park Ave. S. (betw. 30th & 31st Sts.), 212-532-4370; 9, $30 & $15 min. [repeats Thurs. at 9, Fri. & Sat. at 8:30 & 11].

    Michael Feinstein's Holiday Show The club's namesake makes a special holiday appearance to perform a mix of seasonal songs & dole out stand-up; Feinstein's at the Regency, 540 Park Ave. (61st St.), 212-339-4095; 8:30, $60 & $50 min. [repeats Thurs. & Tues. at 8:30, Fri. & Sat. at 8:30 & 11, through 12/22].

    Team Work: Part 1 - An Evening of Jazz Sue Matsuki & Gregory Toroian; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 & $10 min.

    Comedy

    All-Star Comedy Stand-up feat. Russ Meneve, Steve Byrne, Judah Friedlander, Kurt Metzger, Godfrey, D.C. Benny & Ben Bailey; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:30, $9:30 & drink min. [repeats Thurs.].

    Richie Byrne Stand-up w/Hood, Billy Burr, Nancy Redman, Jerry Diner & Bruce Smirnoff; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45, $12.50 [repeats Thurs. & Sun.].

    Gladys' Comedy Room Stand-up w/DC Benny, Warren Holstein, Mike Singer, Bob Jergens, Judah Friedlander, Dave Reuben &, of course, Gladys; Backroom at Hamburger Harry's, 145 W. 45th St., (betw. B'way & 6th Aves.), 212-832-1762; 8:30, $12 & $5 min.; mention New York Press, $8 & $5 min. [repeats Thurs.].

    The Happy Hour Tim Halpern, who isn't funny, hosts free stand-up that is quite funny w/rotating comedians that may incl. Laurie Kilmartin, Rod Reyes, Grant Cooper, Sue Costello, Kate Rigg & Angelo Lozado; the Den at Two Boots, 44 Ave A (betw. 3rd & 4th Sts.), 212-677-6770; 8:45, free.

    Mike King Stand-up w/ Gregg Rogell, Laurie Kilmartin & Sam Greenfield; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9, $7 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs.].

    Stephen Lynch sings twisted love songs; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30; $15 & 2 drink min.

    Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Godfrey, Greg Giraldo, Greer Barnes, Tom Papa & Jim Norton; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun.].

    The 10th Annual Improvisation Festival/NY Movement Research celebrates w/two weeks of performances, workshops & classes, call for sched. & events; 212-539-2611; free-$15 [through 12/9].

    Dance

    Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season cont. w/new production of teenage angst-filled "Dance at the Gym," "Phases" & "Revelations" feat. live music; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $25-$75.

    Ballet Hispanico Co. performs Cuban-inspired "Guajira," "Eyes of the Soul" from the mind of a blind composer & "Club Havana," a mix of up-tempo Cuban & African-American music styles; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (20th St.), 212-242-0800; 8, $38.

    The Nutcracker With the arrival of the tree at Rockefeller Center & the start of the NYCB season of George Balanchine's The Nutcracker, the holidays are truly here! Set to Tchaikovsky's famous score; Lincoln Center's Fountain Plaza, B'way (63rd St.), 212-875-5108; 6, $16-$80 [repeats Thurs. & Tues.].

    THURSDAY 12/6

    Cabaret

    I'm Alright Anthony Gaglione w/Gerry Dieffenbach on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min. [repeats Sun. at 3].

    Luigi & Arlette Duo performs w/piano upstairs in Italian restaurant's raw bar; Baldoria, 240 W. 49th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Aves.), 212-582-0460; 9, free w/dinner or drinks [repeats Sat.].

    Comedy

    Lewis Black A healthy dose of honesty, whether you want it or not; Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 8, $20-$24 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 8 & 10:30, Sun. at 8].

    Bro Man Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 10, $17-$21 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 12:30 a.m., Sun. at 10].

    The Broadway Hootenanny Mark Nadler returns the city to abnormalness; Sardi's, 234 W. 44th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-221-8440, 9:30, $30 & $12 min.

    The Chainsaw Boys Six-piece improv troupe saws through Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222, RSVP 212-501-1728; 8, $8 [through 12/20].

    Kundalini Komedy Sells Out It's like Real World without the cameras! Watch "Episode 2: Attack of the Hormones" as a new member is added to this improv troupe & attacks the balance; Chasama Performance Space, 111 W. 42nd St. (betw. 6 & B'way Aves.), 212-712-7012; 8, $9 [repeats Fri. & Sat.].

    Stripped Dark comedy follows the life of a stripper named Frankie as she searches for love & finds it's not that true; Pyramid Club, 101 Ave. A (betw. 6th & 7th Sts.), 212-502-3535, 7:30, $12.

    Dance

    Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season cont. w/new production of Louis Falco's "Caravan" plus "Sweet Bitter Love," "Double Exposure" & "Chocolate Sessions"; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $25-$75.

    Ballet Hispanico Co. performs world premiere of Ramón Oller's "Bésame" ("Kiss Me") set to a medley of Latin-American love songs, "Club Havana," a mix of up-tempo Cuban & African-American music styles & the return of the salsa piece "Somethin' from Nothin'"; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (20th St.), 212-242-0800; 8, $38 [repeats Fri. & Sat.].

    Bound Edition David Parker & The Bang Group pres. "Lowbrowse," an ode to Hollywood that uses imagery of classic musicals, "On The Tip of My Tongue," which has a dance trio playing harmonicas & "Bound Edition," set to a score made from sounds of velcro suits being ripped open; Danspace Project at St. Mark's Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-840-0770; 8:30, $12 [repeats Fri.-Sun.].

    Caprice: Guest From The Dark Min Tanaka & Tokason Butoh Troupe pres. a unique performance inspired by Francisco de Goya's etching "Los Caprichos"; P.S. 122 Performance Space, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; 8, $17-$25 [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 8 & 10:30, Sun. at 8].

    Dixon Place Emmy Gay & the Play Project pres. "Woman Land," a fantasy of women rewriting history feat. Michele Carlo, Jill Sheely & Tracee Loran plus Vernooy & Co. perform short plays & dances about lust, addiction & desire; Dixon Place, 309 E. 26th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-532-1546; 8, $12, $10 st./s.c.

    Newsteps Dance series for emerging choreographers feat. Katri Shaller's solo "Artifact," Anna Sperber's quartet "The Time Around Scars" & Hannah Ramsey's "Your Time, A Mi Manera," plus works by Rome Quazada, Joel S. Sherry & Christopher Earle Williams; Mulberry St. Theater, 70 Mulberry St., 2nd fl. (Bayard St.), 212-349-0126; 9, $12 [repeats Fri. & Sat.].

    The Yorkville Nutcracker The sixth-annual production of Francis Patrelle's version of this classic tale is a ode to New York set in 1895 feat. a trip to the Bronx Botanical Garden w/dancers Donald Williams (Dance Theatre of Harlem) & Pascale van Kipnis (New York City Ballet) on (Thurs. & Fri.) & James Fayette & Jenifer Ringer (New York City Ballet) on (Sat. & Sun.); Sylvia & Danny Kaye Playhouse at Hunter College, 68th St. (betw. Park & Lexington Aves.), 212-772-4448; 7, $35 [repeats Fri.-Sun.].

    FRIDAY 12/7

    Cabaret

    Knock-Off Ms. Ana Matronic hosts night of dark swinging; the Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-253-7246; 12 a.m., $5.

    TeddyCare 2001 Mr. Ruby Rims hosts evening of cabaret w/music director John McMahon to benefit the Manhattan Plaza AIDS project; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8 & 11.

    The Vim Variety Show Faith Pilger returns to host freak show of aerial dancers, beat-boxers & singers feat. the band Electric Sheepdog; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Rivington & Stanton Sts.), 212-673-4182; 10, $8.

    Comedy

    Richie Byrne Stand-up w/Hood, Billy Burr, Nancy Redman, Jerry Diner & Bruce Smirnoff; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:30 & 10:30, $15-$20 [repeats Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].

    Cow Revolution Improv that's a "stampede of bovine comedy"; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 8, $7.

    Cynthia Koury Stand-up w/Sue Costello, Mike Estime & Gary Greenberg; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 8, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $12 [repeats Sat.].

    Jim Norton Stand-up w/Dave Attell, Paula Bel, Rich Vos, D.C. Benny, Russ Meneve, Gregory Rogell & Macio; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 8, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $12 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

    Tequila Mockin' Bird Twisted adaptation of To Kill a Mockingbird; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 8, $7 [through 12/14].

    Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Godfrey, Greg Giraldo, Greer Barnes, Tom Papa & Jim Norton; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., $12 & 2 drink min.

    Greg Giraldo Stand-up w/Rob Magnotti, Gregg Rogell & Susie Essman; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30 & 10:30; $15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

    Top African-American & Latino Comics NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

    Dance

    Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season cont. w/"Memoria," world premiere of Judith Jamison's three-part ballet inspired by Flo-Jo & "Revelations" feat. African dance & live music; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $25-$75.

    Dancing With Soul Choreographer Byron Davis pres. Eloquence Performance Co. doing dances incl. "For Mature Audiences Only" examining voyeurism; Bronx Academy of Art & Dance; 841 Barretto St., Hunts Point, S. Bronx, 718-842-5223; 8, $12 [repeats Sat.].

    The Nutcracker With the arrival of the tree at Rockefeller Center & the start of the NYCB season of George Balanchine's The Nutcracker, the holiday season is truly here! Set to Tchaikovsky's famous score; Lincoln Center's Fountain Plaza, B'way (63rd St.), 212-875-5108; 8, $22-$88 [repeats Sat. at 2 & 8, Sun. at 1 & 5].

    Stripping the Veneer Ilaan Egeland's solo multimedia dance delves into the intimacy of one's own skin; Joyce Soho, 155 Mercer St. (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-7479; 8, $12, $10 st./s.c [repeats Sat. & Sun.].

    SATURDAY 12/8

    Cabaret

    Judy & Liza for the Holidays! It's a family affair when Tommy Femia's "Judy" & Christine Pedi's "Liza" unite in this holiday special; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 11, $20 & 2 drink min.

    Cary Hoffman performs Frank Sinatra's "most celebrated fifties classics" w/an 11-piece orchestra?this week "Happy Birthday Trib. to Frank" complete w/cake; Carnegie Club, 156 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-843-8073; 8 & 10, $25 & 2 drink min.

    In the Center Ring: Songs of the Circus Judy Kreston & David Lahm w/Ratzo Harris on bass & Ray Grappone on drums; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.

    Men & Money & Madness Tessa Bell w/Tedd Firth on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 11, $10 min.

    Mr. Choade's Upstairs/Downstairs Chester O'Makerel & Fawn host party w/regulars Ronny Dykesman, Ukulele Louie, Pussyhawk & more; the Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-253-7246; 11, $5.

    Shiny Hot Nights: More Songs of Joni Mitchell John Kelly puts on a wig, tweaks his voice & becomes Joni Mitchell for an evening w/Zecca on piano; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 8, $20 [repeats Sun.].

    Comedy

    Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Larry Getlen hosts stand-up w/Nicole Korkolis, Val Kappa, Jen Kirwin, Dawn Norris, Anna Marie Carter, Shauna Lane, Clara Bijl, Jessica Delfino, Sherrie Fell & Amanda Melson, man, what a line-up; East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), Caroll Gardens, 718-624-8878; 8, $7.

    $andy Kane Blew Comedy Show She may have stripped for Howard Stern, but is she funny?; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 6, $10 & 2 drink min.

    Tommy Koening host variety/stand-up comedy; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 10, $10 & 2 drink min.

    Poole Party "An ever-changing slate of high talent" always has regulars Ron Poole, Nancy Witter & Sidney Myer; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min. [through 12/29].

    Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Godfrey, Greg Giraldo, Greer Barnes, Tom Papa & Jim Norton; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 7:30, 9:15, 11 & 12:45 a.m., $10-$12 & 2 drink min.

    The 10:17 Comedy Night Michael & Bricken host sketch comedy feat. the 12 days of Christmas incl. Leo Allen as Lords-a-Leaping, Rebecca Tingley as Maids-a-Milking & Chink-o-Rama's Kate Rigg's as the Partridge in a Pear Tree; Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-932-3767; 10, $5.

    Va Va Voom Room Miss Astrid hosts a combo of burlesque, vaudeville, strippers, magicians & clowns; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 10:30, $15.

    Dance

    Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season cont. w/new production of Louis Falco's ballet "Caravan," the teenage angst-inspired "Dance at the Gym" & "Phases"; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 2, $25-$75.

    Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater cont. w/Ailey classics incl. new production of "Revelations" feat. live music; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $25-$75.

    Ballet Hispanico performs world premiere of Ramón Oller's "Bésame" ("Kiss Me") set to a medley of Latin-American love songs & Anne Reinking's hippy "Ritmo y Ruido" ("Rhythm & Ruckus"); Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (20th St.), 212-242-0800; 2, $38.

    SUNDAY 12/9

    Cabaret

    Back on the Town Alice Levine w/John Wallowitch on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 5:30, $10 min.

    Jimmy Hurley's F-n-B Tales of gay old Chelsea, complete w/bitches, barflies & blowjobs, oh my!; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 10, $12 & 2 drink min.

    Juletide Greetings Julie Reyburn w/special guests & Mark Janas on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.

    Lost World Jack Crosely's trib. to the flipside of the 60s, w/music by Elvis, Sinatra, Dean Martin & Bing Crosby; the Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-253-7246; 8, $6.

    Mr. Wau Wa The songs of Brecht done a bit differently w/music by Weill, Eisler, Dessau & David Hidalgo feat. Rinde Eckert, Gina Leishman, Doug Weiselman, Marcus Rojas & Kenny Wollesen; Joe's Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-239-6200; 8:30, $12.

    Murray Hill Star-Spangled Christmas Comedy Special Not your typical holiday show feat. Scotty the Blue Bunny, the Dazzle Dancers & the Pontani Sisters; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 9:30, $10.

    Dance

    Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season cont. w/Ailey's "Revelations" feat. African dance, "Blues Suite" feat. live music & others; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 3 & 7:30, $25-$75.

    Ballet Hispanico Matinee performance feat. world premiere of Ram Oller's "Bésame" ("Kiss Me") set to a medley of Latin-American love songs, Anne Reinking's hippy "Ritmo y Ruido" ("Rhythm & Ruckus") & the return of the salsa "Somethin' from Nothin'"; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (20th St.), 212-242-0800; 2, $38.

    Ballet Hispanico performs Ramón Oller's "Bésame" ("Kiss Me")?see above listing; Anne Reinking's "Ritmo y Ruido" ("Rhythm & Ruckus") & "Club Havana," a mix of up-tempo Cuban & African-American music styles; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (20th St.), 212-242-0800; 7:30, $38.

    MONDAY 12/10

    Cabaret

    Butch It Up: Behind Bars Men like Christopher Anderson, Scott Gilmore, Tim Herman, Jeff Seabaugh & Craig Skelton exploit the hits that turned female singers into divas; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 8, $10 & 2 drink min.

    Eastern Standard Time w/special guests performs holiday benefit for the Children of China Pediatric Foundation; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $25 & $10 min.

    Christine Ebersole: Live in New York Entertainer performs wide array of music styles & journeys far from her role as Macauly Culkin's mom in Richie Rich?accompanying trio led by Lon Hoyt; Arci's Place, 450 Park Ave. S. (betw. 30th & 31st Sts.), 212-532-4370; 8, $30 & $15 min.

    KLAATU improv troupe holds benefit show for NY Police & Fireman's Widows & Childrens Benefit Fund feat. door prizes?all proceeds plus $625 from KLAATU go to the fund; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-501-2905; 7 & 8:45, $15.

    The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita perform at Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10, $10 min.

    The Wau Wau Sisters Once upon a time these twins were separated at birth, but now they're reunited for entertainment purposes; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-782-5188; 10, free.

    Comedy

    Blue Tony Woods hosts comedy feat. Tracy Morgan, Dean Edwards, Warren Holstein, Dov Davidoff & Todd Lynn; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 10, $5 & 1 drink min.

    Comedy Cares Chuck Sweeney as Peggy Lee & James Beaman as Lauren Bacall plus Eddie Sarfaty, Danny McWilliams, Sidney Myer, Christine Turner, Matt Cohen, David Maiocco, Sherry Davey & Ron Poole combine talents to benefit the Village Center for Care helping people w/HIV & AIDS; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 7, $25 & 2 drink min.

    Pete Correale Stand-up w/Hood, Billy Burr, Nancy Redman, Jerry Diner, Richie Byrne & Gregg Rogell; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45, $12.50 [repeats Tues.].

    Eating It: Comedy With No Standards Maureen Cassidy & Andrw Scunda host stand-up, improv & alt. comedy w/the Sklar Bros., Lewis Schaffer, Mike Birbiglia, Sherry Davey, Chris DeLuca, Julie Goldman & Ted Alexandro; Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323; 8, $7 incl. free drink.

    Musical! Poof, an improvised musical appears before your eyes; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 8, $5.

    Personal Relationship Management Gary Welz is your guide to this comedic PRM seminar, complete w/conference packets & a Powerpoint presentation; I think you can go too far; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; 8, $10.

    Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Godfrey, Greg Giraldo, Reggie McFadden, Billy Burr & Jim Norton; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Tues.].

    TUESDAY 12/11

    Cabaret

    One Life to Live: A Celebration of Gertrude Lawrence Andrea Marcovicci w/musical director Shelly Markham; Algonquin Hotel, the Oak Room, 59 W. 44th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-840-6800; 9, $50 & $15 min.

    The Secret of Christmas Peter Rapanaro returns w/Mark Burman on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.

    Starstruck Lee Byar becomes Hollywood's legends, looking & singing like Carol Channing, Judy, Liza & Marilyn; Marion's Continental Restaurant & Lounge, 354 Bowery (betw. 4th & Great Jones Sts.), 212-475-7621; 8:30, free.

    Comedy

    Half-Price College Night College IDs get you a sweet deal of cheap beer & stand-up feat. Russ Meneve, Steve Byrne, Judah Friedlander, Big Jay, Godfrey, D.C. Benny & Ben Bailey; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:30, $8 & drink min.

    Ka-baam! Simperin' Steve hosts show w/improvised superheroes suggested by the audience; Metropolitan Playhouse, 220 E. 4th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-995-5302; 8, $10 [through 12/18].

    The Sklar Brothers Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 8, $17-$21 & 2 drink min.

    Dance

    Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season cont. w/new productions of teenage angst-filled "Dance at the Gym," "Shelter" & Louis Falco's "Caravan"; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $25-$75.

    Fifteen Years of Dance Making Doug Varone & Dancers celebrate w/world premiere of untitled new work set to Brahms, premiere of "Ballet Méchanique" plus revivals of "Care" feat. silent duet & "The Bench Quartet" set to Bach's Cantata 78; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (20th St.), 212-242-0800; 7:30, $38.

    Performance Mix Karen Bernard curates Sigal Bergman, Audrey Kindred, Julie Ludwick, Tory Vasquez, Johanna Meyer, Sarah Williams & Jackie Gallant; Dixon Place, 309 E. 26th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-532-15468; $15, $12 adv., $10 st./s.c.

    Theater

    JUST OPENED

    And God Created Great Whales An artist tries desperately to finish masterpiece based on Moby Dick before his mind degenerates, musical by Rinde Eckert feat. Memento-like plot device; 45 Bleecker, 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 4, $35 [through 1/13].

    Another Christmas Carol Adaptation of Dickens' story combines improv & script w/audience participation; Gotham City Improv Theater, 158 W. 23rd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; Fri. at 11:30, Mon. at 7, $10 [through 12/17].

    Assassins Play addresses presidential assassinations in America from Booth to Hinckley, Jr.; Music Box Theatre, 239 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 2, $25-$90.

    Brake Four Hearts (And Put in Reverse) What's it like being a teenager at age 100+? Doc. discovers youth serum & uses two couples as lab rats, comedy; Thalia Spanish Theatre, 41-71 Greenpoint Ave. (betw. 41st & 42nd Sts.), Queens, 718-729-3880; Thurs. at 8 & Sat. at 3 in English; Fri. & Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 4 in Spanish, $20-$22, $18-$20 st./s.c. [through 12/16].

    Carl The Second Life from perspective of man who is always second in everything, comedy; 29th St. Rep, 212 W. 29th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 6, $15 [through 12/23].

    Christmas & Other Calamities Three one-act plays about holiday season; the Independent Theater, 52-A W. 8th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 718-482-7416; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $15.

    Christmas with the Crawfords Christmas Eve, 1944, Joan Crawford & children prepare for live radio broadcast from home, complete w/beatings & insanity, comedy; Chelsea Playhouse, 125 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-439-5135; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 5, Sun. at 7, $40 [through 1/5].

    Cracked Jack gets paroled from drug charges into family custody, forced to deal w/childhood on LES; Here, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; Weds.-Fri. at 7, $15 [through 12/14].

    The Damned Criminally insane inmates, disturbed attorney & lovelorn psychiatrist wade through ethics & pyschosis in dark rock musical; Redroom at KGB, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-591-1084; Fri. & Sat. at 10:30, $15 [through 12/15].

    Dance of Death Before you see him in Lord Of The Rings, catch Ian McKellan here?a couple trapped by 25 years of marriage is offered a chance to escape; Broadhurst Theater, 235 W. 44th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat & Tues. at 8, mats. Wed. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $21.75-$71.25 [through 1/13].

    De-liv-er Collection of life affirming monologues & movement pieces responding to Sept. 11, dramatic & moving, creative showcase of extremely promising new talent, recommended; Ward Studio, 145 W. 28th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Ave.), 212-239-1456; Sat. at 8, Sun. at 3 & 7, $5 contrib. [through 12/9].

    Dragapella Starring the Kinsey Sicks Hysterical satire & talented singing by popular Queen Quartet; Studio 54, 254 W. 54th St. (betw. Central Park W. & B'way), 212-239-6200; call for times, $50-$55.

    Drummer Wanted Drummer injured in car accident & living at home wonders about financial compensation; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5933; Thurs.-Sun. at 7:30, $17 [through 12/23].

    The Eight: Reindeer Monologues International icon may fall victim to scandal, only reindeer know truth; Ohio Theater, 66 Wooster St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15 [through 12/22].

    A Flea in her Ear Zany comedy has social butterfly inventing lovers to make her husband jealous, visiting high-class brothel to catch him in the act; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-695-1596; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $18 [through 12/21].

    Food for Thought Different one-act play every week over lunch & cocktail hour; National Arts Club, 15 Gramercy Park S. (betw. Irving Pl. & 3rd Ave.), 212-362-2560; call for times, $27-$35, lunch & cocktails provided [through 12/13].

    A Gilbert & Sullivan Christmas Carol Adaptation of Dickens' tale, music written by Sullivan, words inspired by Gilbert; Jose Quintero Theater, 534 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 718-777-8486; Fri. & Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $20, $15 st./s.c. [through 12/16].

    Going to Bordeaux Artist leaves NYC w/pregnant girlfriend, feels isolated, goes to Bordeaux to find himself; Jan Hus Playhouse, 351 E. 74th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 2, $15 [through 12/16].

    Good Time Blues Blues musical explores humanity during program of 40+ songs; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Mon. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $30, $15 st./s.c. [through 12/29].

    Grace's Curse pokes fun at pretensions of aspiring actress; Actor's Playground, 412 8th Ave., 2nd fl. (betw. 31st & 32nd Sts.), 212-967-0303; Mon. at 7, $12 [through 12/17].

    Hedda Gabler Ibsen's interpretations of feminism in Victorian society; Ambassador Theater, 219 W. 49th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $30-$70 [through 1/13].

    Iphigeneia at Aulis Euripides' play about heroes of Trojan war, choices they must make & daughter sacrifice; Theatre 80, 80 St. Marks Pl. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-598-9802; Thurs.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Thurs., Sat. & Sun. at 2, $28-$35, $10 st./s.c. [through 12/16].

    It's a Wonderful (One Man Show) Life! Solo adaptation of classic film, perfect holiday fodder; Manhattan Theater Source, 177 MacDougal St. (8th St.), 212-501-4751; Sat. at 4, $10 [through 12/29].

    Just Back from Guatemala (broke again) Comedy troupe performs variety show incl. bingo, short films, musical groups & more; LAETA Theater, 107 Suffolk St. (Rivington St.), 212-206-1515; Mon. at 8, $14.

    Legacies Police officer squares off w/past trauma during murder investigation; Gloria Maddox Theater, 151 W. 26th St., 7th fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-741-0265; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $15, $8 st. [through 12/9].

    Listen Houdini Houdini & Sir Arthur Conan Doyle argue about spiritualist movement & loss; Axis Theater, 1 Sheridan Sq. (7th Ave.), 212-807-9300; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $20 [through 12/22].

    Little Ham Musical based on Langston Hughes' play about love & loyalty during Harlem Renaissance; Hudson Guild Theater, 441 W. 26th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-563-2565; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $19, $15 st./s.c. [through 12/9].

    The Little Mermaid The real, raw version?adaptation of Hans Christian Anderson as opposed to Disney vehicle for sophomoric animation tricks; Hitchcock-Rockefeller Aud., 610 Lexington Ave. (53rd St.), 212-866-5170; Sat. & Sun. at 2, $15 [through 12/30].

    Love & Sex Eight monologues by New Yorkers addressing joys & consequences of copulation & associated gift-giving; the Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-887-0951; Sun. & Mon. at 8, $10 [through 12/10].

    Much Ado About Nothing Shakespeare's philosophical romantic comedy set in swinging 60's London; Manhattan Ensemble Theater, 55 Mercer St. (betw. Broome & Grand Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Thurs. & Tues. at 8, Fri. at 7 & 10, Sat at 5 & 9, mat. Sun. at 3, $30-$40.

    The Murray Hill Star-Spangled Christmas Comedy Special Collection of dance, music & comedy acts; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-462-9077; Sun. at 10, $10 [through 12/16].

    Nativity: A Life Story Retelling of biblical story w/African-American music & dance, inspired by Langston Hughes; Riverside Church, 490 Riverside Dr. (120th St.), 212-491-2206; Mon. at 7, $25.

    NBS!K Musical comedy review w/naked boys singing & dancing; the Actors' Playhouse, 100 7th Ave. (betw. Grove & Bleecker Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Fri. & Mon. at 8, Sat. at 7 &10, Sun. at 3 & 7, $35-$65.

    Peter Pan Reinterpretation of childhood classic highlights desolation & isolation of adulthood; Theater for the New City, 155 1st Ave. (10th St.), 718-488-9233; Weds.-Sat & Tues. at 8, $25, $15 st./s.c., Thurs. pay-what-you-wish [through 12/22].

    QED Alan Alda plays Richard Feynmann, Nobel laureate & perhaps our last great physicist; Vivian Beaumont Theater at Lincoln Center, 150 W. 65th St. (betw. B'way & Amsterdam Ave.), 212-239-6200; Sun. & Mon. at 8, $35-$55 [through 12/17].

    A Queer Carol Gay version of Dickens holiday tale, Ebenezer is wealthy interior designer, assisted by Cratchit who cares for HIV+ boyfriend; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-206-1515; Weds. at 7, Thurs. & Fri. at 7:30, $15 [through 12/21].

    Rebel Without a Pause Comedy about Latina girl who's adopted by conservative Long Island parents & struggles w/NYC gentrification; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Mon. at 8, $12-$15 [through 12/17].

    Roadside Traveling tent show musical about Old West arrives in NYC bearing cowboys & love stories; the Theater at St. Peter's Church, 619 Lexington Ave. (54th St.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds, Sat. & Sun. at 2:30, $45 [through 12/23].

    Santa Claus is Coming Out Jolly man in red goes rainbow & must convince world he is not trying to indoctrinate children into his "lifestyle"; the Gene Frankel Theater, 24 Bond St. (betw. Lafayette St. & Bowery), 212-206-1515; Fri. & Mon. at 8, Sat. at 8 & 10:15, Sun at 3 & 7, $25 [through 1/7].

    The Scientists Live reading of radio play by Tom X. Chao?can a polymer scientist make the chief scientist love her?; Surf Reality's House of Urban Savages, 172 Allen St., 2nd fl. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-673-4182; Tues. at 8, $10 [through 12/11].

    The 2nd Shepherds' Play Fifteenth-century comedy about three shepherds on Christmas Eve, incl. sheep rustlers & lazy adolescents; St. Veronica's Church, 149 Christopher St. (betw. Greenwich & Washington Sts.), 212-924-5628; Weds. & Fri. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $8 [through 12/18].

    Sexaholix...a love story John Leguizamo returns (if he ever went away) w/humorous one-man exploration of marriage, sex & all-purpose dirt in the Latin family, incl. primer "Latinos for Dummies: From Montezuma to Me"; Royale Theater, 242 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $15-$80 [through 12/9].

    Six Goumbas & a Wannabe The mini-sensation returns! Old-school Broolynites reunite after 15 years to deal w/dangerous unfinished business; Players Theater, 115 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & 3rd Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $37.50 [through 1/6].

    60 Minutes in Negroland Woman born w/silver spoon assesses black social elite; Cherry Lane Theater, 38 Commerce St. (Bleecker St.), 212-727-3673; Mon. at 7, $20 [through 12/10].

    Spurn World where love is worse than death & reality is turned on its ear, no, it's not "Jerry's World" on Springer; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $12, $10 st. [through 12/15].

    Still Standing Musical comedy about one woman's attempt to manage career, single motherhood & cancer; Manhattan Theater Source, 177 MacDougal St. (8th St.), 212-501-4751; mat. Sun. at 2, $10 [through 12/30].

    The Syringa Tree Powerful one-woman play stars Kate Blumberg as a white girl struggling w/reality of South Africa during & after Apartheid?Ms. Blumberg displays unique talent as she transforms from character to character, bringing pain, compassion & humor to all involved; Playhouse 91, 316 E. 91st St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat at 2, Sun. at 3, $49.50.

    Tales From the Oven Bakery girls tell their aspirations & insights into life in New York, comedy; Nuyorican Poets Cafe, 236 E. 3rd St. (betw. Aves. B & C), 212-252-4370; Thurs.-Sat. at 7:30, $15 [through 12/22].

    Tintypes Set in early 1900s, nostalgic piece looks at American optimism & ingenuity; McGinn/Cazale Theater, 2162 B'way (betw. 76th & 77th Sts.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45 [through 12/26].

    2 for 1 Sweaty, twisty, intelligent old-school clowning w/a hint of danger thrown in for good measure; Chashama, 135 W. 42nd St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-631-5819; Sat. at 11 p.m., $12 [through 12/8].

    Volvio Una Noche Jewish mysticism mixes w/Latin culture in examination of interfaith marriage?a Jewish mother returns from the grave to grill her son's Catholic girlfriend; Gramercy Arts Theater, 138 E. 27th St. (betw. Lexington & 3rd Aves.), 212-889-2850; call for prices & times [through 12/23].

    Young Playwrights' Festival 2001 See some of the hottest & most intelligent new playwrights while you can still afford to see 'em; Cherry Lane Theater, 38 Commerce St. (Bleecker St.), 212-279-4200; call for times; $30, $15 st./s.c. [through 12/8].