STAGE WEDNESDAY 12/26 Cabaret Baby Jane Dexter Arci’s Place, 450 ...

Cabaret

Baby Jane Dexter Arci's Place, 450 Park Ave. S. (betw. 30th & 31st Sts.), 212-532-4370; 9, $30 & $15 min. [repeats Thurs. at 9, Fri. & Sat. at 8:30 & 11].

The Gone Show Everybody has some talent?acrobats, comedians, dancers & singers all take a crack at $100 talent prize; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-782-5188; sign-up at 8:30, 9, free.

Kiki & Herb: There's a Stranger In the Manger! Justin Bond & Kenny Mellman deck this duet w/holiday tinsel feat. Tori Amos' "Crucify," Pink Floyd's "Thin Ice" & the Ramones' "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)"; Westbeth Theater, 151 Bank St. (betw. West & Washington Sts.), 212-741-0391; 8:30, $30-$35 [repeats Thurs.-Sun. $30-$35 & Mon. $85].

The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita impress w/retro hits via synthesizer; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].

One Life to Live: A Celebration of Gertrude Lawrence Andrea Marcovicci w/musical director Shelly Markham; Algonquin Hotel, the Oak Room, 59 W. 44th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-840-6800; 9, $50 & $50 prix-fixe dinner at 6:30 req. [repeats Thurs., Fri. & Sat.].

Comedy

All-Star Comedy Stand-up feat. Russ Meneve, Steve Byrne, Judah Friedlander, Kurt Metzger, Godfrey, D.C. Benny & Ben Bailey; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:30, call for price [repeats Thurs.].

Dave Coulier Full House alum does stand-up & likely some impressions; Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 8, $24-$28 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 8 & 10:30].

Ray Ellin hosts stand-up w/Buddy Bolton, Justin McKinny, Louis CK, Antman, Eric Douglas, DF Sweedler, D.C. Benny, Bernadette Pauley, Paula Bell & William Stephenson; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8:30, $12 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Tues. at 8:30, Sun. at 8].

Mike King Stand-up w/Gregg Rogell, Peter Fogel & Laurie Kilmartin; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9, $7 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs.].

Musical! Poof, an improvised musical appears before your eyes; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 8, $5.

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Dave Attell, Godfrey, Nick Dipaolo, Greg Giraldo & Jim Norton; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun.].

Reverend Jen's Anti-Slam Open mic for comedians, sketch comics, musicians & freaks; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-502-0318; 8, $3.

Sherrod Small Stand-up w/Hood, Al Ducharme, Nancy Redman, Gregg Rogell & Billy Burr; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45, $12.50 [repeats Thurs. & Sun.].

Aries Spears No relation to Britney, does stand-up; Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 10, $24-$28 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 10, Fri. & Sat. at 12:30 a.m.].

Dance

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season cont. w/excerpts from Ailey's classic works like "Blues Suite" & "The River," plus "Revelations" in its entirety, feat. African dance; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $25-$75.

NoTCRACKER Eliot Feld's Ballet Tech performs holiday-friendly ballets feat. a revival of 1982's "Straw Hearts," "The Jig Is Up" & "Pacific Dances," Feld's newest work set to slack key guitar; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (20th St.), 212-242-0800; 7, $38 [repeats Fri. & Sat.].

The Nutcracker With the lighting of the tree at Rockefeller Center & start of George Balanchine's The Nutcracker, the holidays are truly here! Set to Tchaikovsky's famous score; Lincoln Center's Fountain Plaza, B'way (63rd St.), 212-875-5108; 2 & 6, $22-$88 [repeats Thurs. at 6, Sun. at 1 & 5].

THURSDAY 12/27

Cabaret

Luigi & Arlette Duo performs w/piano upstairs in Italian restaurant's raw bar; Baldoria, 240 W. 49th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Aves.), 212-582-0460; 9, free w/dinner or drinks [repeats Sat.].

Men & Money & Madness Tessa Bell w/Tedd Firth on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min. [repeats Sun. at 3].

Comedy

Gotham All-Stars Fancy weekend guests stick around during the week; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

Dance

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season cont. w/"Chocolate Sessions," & "Sweet Bitter Love"?plus new productions of Louis Falco's ballet "Caravan" & "Shelter" highlighting the problem of homelessness; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $25-$75.

NoTCRACKER Eliot Feld's Ballet Tech performs holiday-friendly ballets feat. "Papillon," an insect fantasy set to the music of Offenbach & "Coup de Couperin" inspired by Baroque court dancing; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (20th St.), 212-242-0800; 7, $38 [repeats Fri.-Sun. at 2].

FRIDAY 12/28

Cabaret

Knock-Off Ms. Ana Matronic hosts night of dark swinging; the Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-253-7246; 12 a.m., $5.

One Life to Live: A Celebration of Gertrude Lawrence Andrea Marcovicci w/musical director Shelly Markham; Algonquin Hotel, the Oak Room, 59 W. 44th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-840-6800; 11:30, call for price [repeats Sat.].

Comedy

Avenue A Conspiracy: Laid Up in the Brothel This gang never got the message that 'Crack is Wack' feat. David Leopold, Rita Ashdale, Annette Hollander, Johnnie Mae & John Walker reciting "How I Spent My Summer Vacation"; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-539-3899; 12 a.m., $7.

Pete Correale Stand-up w/Steve Marshall, Dan Natureman & Andrew Kennedy; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 10, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 8, 10 & 12 a.m.].

Jim David Stand-up w/Ben Bailey, Kevin Flynn & Sherrod Small; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30 & 10:30; $15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

Mark Maron Stand-up w/SPANKY (Stephen Kent), Justin McKinney & Keith Robinson; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 8, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $12 [repeats Sat.].

Bill McCarty hosts stand-up w/Tony Rock, Karen Bergreen, Mike Birbiglia, Lisa Lampanelli, Ray Ellin, Todd Barry, Paul Mercurio, Sue Costello, Mitch Fatel, Antman, Ross Bennett & Macio; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., $15 & 2 drink min.

Jim Norton Stand-up w/Dave Attell, Paula Bel, Rich Vos, D.C. Benny, Russ Meneve, Gregory Rogell & Macio; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 8, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $12 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

Poole Party always has regulars Ron Poole & Sidney Myer plus Jeni Aron, Mina Hartong, Richard Cramer, Danny McWilliams, Anne Smith, Sheridan Botros & Enza Cannarozzi; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 9, $10 & 2 drink min.

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Dave Attell, Godfrey, Nick Dipaolo, Greg Giraldo & Jim Norton; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., $12 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 7:30, 9, 11 & 12:45 a.m.].

$andy Kane Blew Comedy Show She may have stripped for Howard Stern, but is she funny; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 9:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

Top African-American & Latino Comics NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

Sherrod Small Stand-up w/Hood, Al Ducharme, Nancy Redman, Gregg Rogell & Billy Burr; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:30 & 10:30, $15-$20 [repeats Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].

A Very Special Shauna's World Rock 'n' roll drama w/the all-girl band Hot Little Pieces of Ass? what happens when one shoe-polish addicted member gets the boot?; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Rivington & Stanton Sts.), 212-673-4182; 10, $10.

Dance

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season cont. w/the teenage angst-inspired "Dance at the Gym," "Revelations" feat. African dance & "The River"; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $25-$75.

The Nutcracker With the lighting of the tree at Rockefeller Center & the start of George Balanchine's The Nutcracker, the holiday season is truly here! Set to Tchaikovsky's famous score; Lincoln Center's Fountain Plaza, B'way (63rd St.), 212-875-5108; 8, $22-$88 [repeats Sat. at 2 &8, Mon. at 7].

SATURDAY 12/29

Cabaret

Cary Hoffman performs Frank Sinatra's "most celebrated 50s classics" w/an 11-piece orchestra; and listen, this guy sounds exactly like Sinatra; Carnegie Club, 156 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-843-8073; 8 & 10, $25 & 2 drink min.

Judy Garland & Friends for the Holidays! Tommy Femia's "Judy" sings classics incl. "Winter Wonderland" & "I've Got My Love To Keep Me Warm" w/guests Carolyn Montgomery & Sidney Myer; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 11, $20 & 2 drink min.

Mr. Choade's Upstairs/Downstairs Chester O'Makerel & Fawn host party w/regulars Ronny Dykesman, Ukulele Louie, Pussyhawk & more; the Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-253-7246; 11, $5.

Shiny Hot Nights: More Songs of Joni Mitchell John Kelly puts on a wig, tweaks his voice & becomes Joni Mitchell for an evening w/Zecca on piano; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 8, $20 [through 1/12].

Comedy

Tommy Koening host variety/stand-up comedy; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 10, $10 & 2 drink min.

Poole Party Always has regulars Ron Poole & Sidney Myer plus Ray Rivera, Craig Coursey, Brandy Rowell, Brendan O'Malley, Lisa Nunn, Carol Ann Doner, Adrianne Frost, Julie & Rick Leon; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

William Stephenson hosts stand-up w/Sherrod Small, Steven Scott, Vinnie Brand, Vanessa Hollingshead, Tom Cotter, Gregg Rogell, Modi, Lenny Marcus, Al Ducharme & Kevin Flynn; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8, 10:15 & 12:30, $15 & 2 drink min.

The 10:17 Comedy Night Bricken hosts holiday sketch comedy solo (Michael is at a wedding!) feat. stand-uppers Eric Kirchberger, Shauna Lane, Sean Conroy & Karen Bergreen; Perry Wolberg as the notorious Jizz?plus music by comic duo Becky & Noelle; Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-932-3767; 10, $5.

Underground Comics Curtis B. Sterling hosts weekly stand-up; Brooklyn Lyceum, the Geloscopic, 227 4th Ave. (Betw. Union & President Sts.), Park Slope, 718-857-4816; 11:30, $5.

Va Va Voom Room Miss Astrid hosts a combo of burlesque, vaudeville, strippers, magicians & clowns; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 10:30, $15.

Dance

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season cont. w/new productions of teenage angst-inspired "Dance at the Gym" & "Shelter" highlighting the problem of homelessness?plus world premiere of "Serving Nia" (2); Evening performance w/"Revelations" feat. African dance, "Grace" & "Shelter" (8); City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; $25-$75.

SUNDAY 12/30

Cabaret

Charlie Brandon Olson pres. DJs, go-go boys & super acts; Marion's Continental Restaurant & Lounge, 354 Bowery (betw. 4th & Great Jones Sts.), 212-475-7621; 10, free.

Jimmy Hurley's F-n-B Tales of gay old Chelsea, complete w/bitches, barflies & blowjobs, oh my!; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 10, $12 & 2 drink min.

Lost World Jack Crosely's trib. to the flipside of the 60s, w/music by Elvis, Sinatra, Dean Martin & Bing Crosby; the Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-253-7246; 8, $6.

MARLENE 100 James Beaman celebrates Dietrich's 100th w/"Black Market Marlene" & "Marlene Alive at the Cafe de Paris"?plus three-course dinner w/wine; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), RSVP 212-929-5410; 8, $70 plus tax & tip.

The Snowflake Follies Starring Ami Goodheart & Her Sleigh Belles A lavish floorshow w/Michael Arenella & the Lush Life Orchestra; Joseph Papp Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-239-6200; 9:30, $15.

Comedy

ASSSSCAT 3000 Brigade does long form improv w/help from SNL & Late Night with Conan O'Brien friends; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), RSVP 212-366-9176; 7:30, $7; 9:30, free.

Mike King Stand-up w/Gregg Rogell, Sam Greenfield & Sherry Davey; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9, $7 & 2 drink min. [repeats Tues.].

Rebel Without a Pause Reno is a fast thinker & talker about recent events that shook the world & her; Marion's Continental Restaurant & Lounge, 354 Bowery (betw. 4th & Great Jones Sts.), 212-475-7621; 5:30, $15.

Dance

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season cont. w/excerpts from Ailey's classic works like "Blues Suite" & "The River," plus "Revelations" in its entirety, feat. African dance (3); Evening performance w/"Grace," "Double Exposure" & "Revelations" (7:30); City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; $25-$75.

MONDAY 12/31

Cabaret

The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita impress w/retro hits via synthesizer; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10, $10 min.

Comedy

Richie Byrne Stand-up w/Gregory Carey & Vic Bitetto; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45, $12.50 [repeats Tues.].

Just Back from Guatemala (Broke Again) Moxie Films & Stupida Boyz (John Carlino, Eric Robinson & Kelley Rae O'Donnell) pres. an adult variety show feat. live acts, "3 Min. Bingo," "culturally observant sketches" & beer; La Tea Theater, CSV Cultural Arts Center, 107 Suffolk Street, 2nd fl. (Rivington St.), 212-206-1515; 8, $14.

Dance

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater Season concludes w/the world premiere of Judith Jamison's three-part ballet inspired by Flo-Jo, "HERE...NOW," plus new productions of Louis Falco's ballet "Caravan" & "Revelations"; City Center, 130 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $25-$85.

TUESDAY 1/1

Cabaret

Starstruck Lee Byar becomes Hollywood's legends, looking & singing like Carol Channing, Judy, Liza & Marilyn; Marion's Continental Restaurant & Lounge, 354 Bowery (betw. 4th & Great Jones Sts.), 212-475-7621; 8, free.

Comedy

Half-Price College Night College IDs get you a sweet deal of cheap beer & stand-up feat. Russ Meneve, Steve Byrne, Judah Friedlander, Big Jay, Godfrey, D.C. Benny & Ben Bailey; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:30, $8 & drink min.

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Allan Havey Godfrey, Mitch Fatel & Jim Norton; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min.

Theater

PREVIEWS

Brutal Imagination explores Susan Smith story from perspective of imaginary African-American she claimed killed her children; Vineyard Theater, 108 E. 15th St. (Irving Pl.), 212-353-3874; Weds.-Fri. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, mat. Sun. at 3, $15-$45 [opens 1/8].

Hobson's Choice English merchant struggles w/strong willed daughter who takes life into her own hands; Atlantic Theater, 336 W. 20th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sun. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45 [opens in Jan.].

JUST OPENED

And God Created Great Whales An artist tries desperately to finish masterpiece based on Moby Dick before his mind degenerates, musical by Rinde Eckert feat. Memento-like plot device; 45 Bleecker, 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 4, $35 [through 1/13].

Assassins Play addresses presidential assassinations from Booth to Hinckley, Jr.; Music Box Theatre, 239 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 2, $25-$90.

Briah Story by Israeli playwright Yossefa Even-Shoshan about creation as seen through eyes of Spanish poet Shlomo Ibn Gabriol; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 2:30 & 8, $15 [through 12/30].

Carl the Second Life from perspective of man who is always second in everything, comedy; 29th St. Rep, 212 W. 29th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 6, $15 [through 1/6].

A Christmas Carol Dickens' classic puts everyone in holiday spirit; Marquis Theater, 1535 B'way (46th St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $25-$100 [through 12/30].

Christmas With the Crawfords Christmas Eve, 1944, Joan Crawford & children prepare for live radio broadcast from home, complete w/beatings & insanity, comedy; Chelsea Playhouse, 125 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-439-5135; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 5, Sun. at 7, $40 [through 1/5].

Conversations with the Pool Boy Stressed out Manhattan District Director tries to unwind in Virgin Islands, only to be harassed by well meaning hosts, fighting lesbians & others; Sanford Meisner Theater, 164 11th Ave. (betw. 22nd & 23rd Sts.), 212-206-1764; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 5, $19 [through 1/13].

Dance Of Death Before you see him in Lord Of The Rings, catch Ian McKellan here?a couple trapped by 25 years of marriage is offered chance to escape; Broadhurst Theater, 235 W. 44th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $21.75-$71.25 [through 1/13].

Good Time Blues Blues musical explores humanity during program of 40+ songs; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $30, $15 st./s.c. [through 12/29].

Hedda Gabler Ibsen's interpretations of feminism in Victorian society; Ambassador Theater, 219 W. 49th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $30-$70 [through 1/13].

It's a Wonderful (One Man Show) Life! Solo adaptation of classic film, perfect holiday fodder; Manhattan Theater Source, 177 MacDougal St. (8th St.), 212-501-4751; Sat. at 4, $10 [through 12/29].

Just Back From Guatemala (Broke Again) Comedy troupe performs variety show incl. bingo, short films, musical groups & more; LAETA Theater, 107 Suffolk St. (Rivington St.), 212-206-1515; Mon. at 8, $14.

La Lupe: My Life, My Destiny Celebration of a great Hispanic lady, starring Doreen Montalvo; Puerto Rican Traveling Theatre, 304 W. 47th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 6:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $35-$40.

Little Ham Musical based on Langston Hughes' play about love & loyalty during Harlem Renaissance; Hudson Guild Theater, 441 W. 26th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-563-2565; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $19, $15 st./s.c. [through 12/30].

The Little Mermaid The real, raw version?adaptation of Hans Christian Anderson as opposed to Disney vehicle for sophomoric animation tricks; Hitchcock-Rockefeller Aud., 610 Lexington Ave. (53rd St.), 212-866-5170; Sat. & Sun. at 2, $15 [through 12/30].

A Mammal's Notebook: The Erik Satie Cabaret Acting, puppetry & music tell story of Erik Satie's life; La MaMa E.T.C., Annex Theater, 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sat. at 7:30, Sun. at 2:30 & 7:30, $20 [through 12/30].

Men, Money & Madness Singer Tessa Bell performs in cabaret about life & miracles; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (at 19th St.), 212-929-5410; Thurs. at 8:30, mat. Sun. at 3:30, $25.

Neil's Garden addresses delicate & intriguing human relationships from perspective of couple after life changing event; the Rattlestick Theater, 224 Waverly Pl. (betw. 11th & Perry Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $35 [through 1/20].

NBS!K Musical comedy review w/naked boys singing & dancing; the Actors' Playhouse, 100 7th Ave. (betw. Grove & Bleecker Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Fri. & Mon. at 8, Sat. at 7 &10, Sun. at 3 & 7, $35-$65.

Santa Claus is Coming Out Jolly man in red goes rainbow & must convince world he is not trying to indoctrinate children into his "lifestyle"; the Gene Frankel Theater, 24 Bond St. (betw. Lafayette St. & Bowery), 212-206-1515; Fri. & Mon. at 8, Sat. at 8 & 10:15, Sun at 3 & 7, $25 [through 1/7].

Sexaholix...a love story John Leguizamo returns (if he ever went away) w/humorous one-man exploration of marriage, sex & all-purpose dirt in the Latin family, incl. primer "Latinos for Dummies: From Montezuma to Me"; Royale Theater, 242 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $15-$80 [through 2/10].

Six Goumbas & a Wannabe The mini-sensation returns! old-school Brooklynites reunite after 15 years to deal w/dangerous unfinished business; Players Theater, 115 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & 3rd Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $37.50 [through 1/6].

Still Standing Musical comedy about one woman's attempt to manage career, single motherhood & cancer; Manhattan Theater Source, 177 MacDougal St. (8th St.), 212-501-4751; mat. Sun. at 2, $10 [through 12/30].

The Streets Of New York Victorian drama about two sisters vs. dishonest banker; Irish Repertory Theater, 132 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-727-2737; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30-$40 [through 1/20].

Summer Of '42 Based on novel by Herman Raucher, three boys on vacation during WWII wrestle w/girls, love & life; Variety Arts Theatre, 110 3rd Ave. (betw. 13 & 14th Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7:30, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 3, $25-$65.

The Syringa Tree One-woman play stars Kate Blumberg as a white female struggling w/reality of South Africa during & after Apartheid?Ms. Blumberg displays unique talent as she transforms from character to character, bringing pain, compassion & humor to all involved; Playhouse 91, 316 E. 91st St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat at 2, Sun. at 3, $49.50.

Unity Fest NY's annual Gay Play festival, new & experienced talent addresses issues facing gay & lesbian community; call for locations & sched. [through 12/30].

The Voice of the Turtle 1940s comedy meant to distract people from war effort provides intelligent escapist fun then & now; Blue Heron Arts Center, 123 E. 24th St. (betw. Park Ave. S. & Lexington Ave.), 212-315-0231; Weds. & Thurs. at 7, Fri. & Sat. at 8, $35 [through 1/20].

Wise Guise Modern vaudeville makes social commentary & satire; Theater for the New City, 155 1st Ave. (10th St.), 212-254-1109; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $10.