STAGE WEDNESDAY 1/22 Cabaret Carmen Electra & the ...

Cabaret

Carmen Electra & the Pussycat Dolls Maxim readers disgusted by February's nasty Christina Aguilera cover can rejoice in seeing last months covergirl Carmen Electra sing, dance & gyrate w/the other Pussycat Dolls; Irving Plaza, 17 Irving Pl. (15th St.), 212-777-1600; 8, $50.

"Full Circle" Linda Glick w/David Brunetti on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita update the lounge act w/classics like "Stairway to Heaven" & cheesy renditions of Eminem hits; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].

Comedy

Last Call w/Carson Daily Auditions The only placeto see the most promising up & coming young comics, because we know you watch Carson; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 9, $10 & 2 drink min.

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Lisa Lampanelli, Godfrey, Hood & Patrice O'Neal at great comedy venue; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10-$15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 9 & 11, Fri. at 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., Sat. at 7:30, 9:15, 11 & 12:45 a.m.].

Dance

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. Cynthia Oliver in "AfroSocialiteLifeDiva"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, call for price [through 2/2].

New York City Ballet continues its winter repertory season at the New York State Theater, Lincoln Center Plaza, B'way (63rd St.), 212-870-5570; call for times, prices & complete sched. [through 3/2].

THURSDAY 1/23

Cabaret

The Hep Cat Jazz Revue Diamond Redd, Steve Butler, Michela Lerman & Janice Marie Singleton become your favorite jazz greats, from Cab Calloway to Lady Day & dance w/Hep Cats Christine Tracy & Carl Garrison; Danny's Skylight Room, 346 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), res. req. 212-265-8133; 9, $12 & $10 min.

Comedy

Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Find out if there is such a thing as too many comics when Ophira Eisenberg emcees stand-up feat. Jon Fisch, Gilad Foss, Eddie Pepitone, Josh Wade, Larry Getlen, Damion Sammarco, Roger Hailes, Liz Laufer, Shelagh Ratner, Abby Scott, Ben Morrison, Amy Crossfield & Bridget Smith; the Boudoir Bar, East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), 718-624-8878; 9, $5 & 1 drink min.

Dane Cook Stand-up from comedian who, like his album, is "harmful if swallowed"; Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 8, $28-$30 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 8 & 10:30, Sun. at 8].

Fusion Andres Du Bouchet hosts night of stand-up, music & video shorts from comics Larry Getlen, Lisa Kaplan, Poppi Kramer & Mary Purdy?part of HA! Comedy Fest; the St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks Pl., (betw. Ave. A & 1st Ave.), 212-206-1515; 8, $7, $5 st./s.c.

Paul Mooney breaks down racial differences w/a comedian's finesse; Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 10, $22-$28 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 12:30 a.m., Sun. at 10].

Joan Rivers pokes fun at her face-lifts (who'd of guessed?), daughter Melissa's woes & role as captain of the fashion police; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 6:30, $25.

"Save Goldie!" Greasy Girlz Jennie Berman & Lora Chio strive to keep Goldie Hawn from aging w/telethon feat. sketches & Goldie trivia, where audience members can win Goldie-related prizes; Patio, 31 2nd Ave. (2nd St.), 917-586-4375; 8, free.

Dance

Allyson Green & Ben Wright in "Interim" at Danspace Project at St. Mark's Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-8194; 8:30, $15 [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 8:30, Sun. at 7:30].

"Holocaust Stories" Gabrielle Lansner & Co. perform "The Jewish Wife" (based on Brecht's play), "Magda" (based on two short stories by Cynthia Ozick) & "Address Unknown" (based on Kressmann Taylor's novel); the Duke, 229 W. 42nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $20 [through Sun.].

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. ChameckiLerner in "Visible Content"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7 [repeats Fri., through 1/26].

FRIDAY 1/24

Cabaret

"Cafe Society Cabaret" Eclectic mix of post-modern cabaret from Little Jack Melody & his Young Turks, Lauren Agnelli & Dave's True Story; the West Bank Cafe Theatre, 407 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-741-0391; 7:30, $10.

"It's all about love?" John DeMarco returns w/Daryl Kojak on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

Comedy

"The Lecher Defense" Andrew Joffe's naughty sitcom pairs a straight-laced defense lawyer (Nicole Golden) w/an unrepentant adult movie maker (Paul Singleton) & hilarious consequences ensue?part of HA! Comedy Fest; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; 8, $7.

Al Lubell Stand-up w/Russ Meneve, Greg Rogell & Pete Correale; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9 & 10, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 8, 10 & 12:30 a.m.].

Joe Matarese Stand-up w/Dean Obeidallah, Freddy Ricks & Dean Edwards; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 8, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

Dance

Shared Evening Shannon Hummel/CORA in "Stay" & Maureen Brennan in "Alma"; Brooklyn Arts Exchange, 421 5th Ave. (8th St.), Bklyn, 718-832-0018; 8, $8-$15 [repeats Sat.].

SATURDAY 1/25

Cabaret

Cary Hoffman performs Frank Sinatra's "most celebrated 50s classics" w/an 11-piece orchestra?& listen, this guy sounds exactly like Frank; Carnegie Club, 156 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-843-8073; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.

Va Va Voom Room Miss Astrid hosts night of burlesque, vaudeville, strippers, magicians & clowns at Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 10:30, $15 & 2 drink min.

Comedy

"Gay & Lesbian Comedy Fest!" The fabulous Michael Conley hosts night of stand-up & musical comedy from the queer set incl. Danny McWilliams, Sharon Williams, Sidney Myer, Mina Hartong, Shecky Beagleman, Courtney Knowles & Poppi Kramer; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 9, $10 & 2 drink min.

"Naked Girls Drinking!" Gareth Smith's tale takes a hilarious turn when a struggling writer's poignant college girl drama is turned into a saucy hit by its Sears salesmen investors?part of HA! Comedy Fest; the Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St., 1st fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.); 10:30, $10, $8 st./s.c.

"No Name?And a Bag O' Chips" Eric J. Vetter & Dawn J. Owens host variety show w/guests incl. Aimee Wheeler, Allegra Barnett, Jessica Delfino, Cece Antoinette & Joe Dixon & feat. delightfully dumb door prizes, an after party & a free bag o' chips; Common Basis Theatre, 750 8th Ave., 5th fl. (betw. 46th & 47th Sts.), 212-928-1950; 11:30, free.

$andy Kane Raunchy public access star works the stage w/Seymour & Ron Jackson; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9 & 10, $10 & 2 drink min.

Dance

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. Jeanine Durning in "Half Urge"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, call for price [repeats Sun. at 2].

SUNDAY 1/26

Cabaret

"How Did I End up Here??" Aaron Morishita, of Lounge-O-Leers fame, performs w/the Jon Delfin Trio; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

"Magical Madness" Albert Cadabra, Adam Cardone & George Gorlick pres. ancient torture rituals, mind reading, voice throwing & "the blood & flames of hell" during vaudevillian magic show; the Bindlestiff Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 877-BINDLES; 8, call for prices.

"The Priesto Magic Spectacular" Father Jerry Jecewiz (aka the Conjuring Clergyman) pres. 90 min. of magic, illusion & comedy, incl. Houdini's trunk escape, good enough for the whole family; St. Thomas Aquinas Church Hall, 4th Ave. (betw. 8th & 9th Sts.), Park Slope, 718-768-9471; 2, $8, $7 adv.

"Shequida: Untucked?" Julliard-trained drag opera diva & USA Networks Latin American spokes model brandishes more than just her five-octave vocal range; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-2680; 8, $12.

Comedy

Tom Soter's Sunday Night Improv See comedy legends mix with up-&-comers for night of improved skits, games & musical numbers; the Little Theater at the West Side YMCA, 5 W. 63rd St. (Central Park W.), 212-353-7716; 7, $10.

"The Superbowl Football Widow's Show" Stranded without a mate on Superbowl Sunday? Cheer up w/stand-up from Debbie Perlman, Bernadette Pauley, Sue Costello & Lori Sommer; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 8, $15 & 2 drink min., $10 for widows sporting football paraphernalia.

MONDAY 1/27

Cabaret

"Leer Mondays" Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita rocked us weekly w/unique renditions of TLC's "No Scrubs" & Las Ketchups' "Hey Hah,"?no pop hit is safe!; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10, $12 min.

"MORE?Songs by Stephen Sondheim" Aaron Morishita, of Lounge-O-Leers fame, performs w/the Jon Delfin Trio; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

Comedy

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Robert Kelly, Godfrey, Sherrod Small & Greg Giraldo at great comedy venue; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Tues.].

"6:30 Mondays" Greg Contreras hosts stand-up open mic feat. fresh talent working out the kinks in their routines?one drink gets you five glorious minutes on stage; the Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Sullivan & Thompson Sts.), 212-260-7993; 6:30, 1 drink min.

TUESDAY 1/28

Cabaret

"A Night With Adam Roth & the Jaded Six" Musical comedy show feat. the talent of Joe Vincent, Alec Morton, George Gilmore & C.P. Roth performing original songs & covers in "Stump the Band" a take off on "Name That Tune"; Arlene Grocery, 95 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.), 212-358-1663; 9:30, $5.

Tooth & Nail Rob LaRocco & Sam Austin pres. a comedic vaudevillian adventure that follows two cabaret stars as they bring their show through the scenic back roads of America, feat. original songs, pop tunes & Broadway standards; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 9:30, $12 & 2 drink min.

Dance

Dance Theater Workshop pres. Bill Shannon "Crutch Master" & The Step Fenz in AOW: Remix Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; call for times & prices [through 2/9].

THEATER

Performance times follow the paper's publishing schedule (Weds.-Tues.). We recommend calling theaters to verify.

IN PREVIEWS

Fifth of July First Lanford Wilson play in Talley Trilogy follows the lives of a group of 60s radicals during two-day reunion & stars Robert Sean Leonard & Parker Posey; Signature Theater Company, 555 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-244-PLAY; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $55 [opens 2/3, through 3/9].

Guys & Babies, Sex & Gods Saturday Night Live alum Julia Sweeney, in her "late 30s," adopts toddler to see if dating is easier as a single mom; Ars Nova Theater, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Fri. at 8, Sat. at 7, $20 [opens 1/29, through 2/22].

Ma Rainey's Black Bottom Whoopi Goldberg & Charles S. Dutton star in a revival of August Wilson's tale, about a group's recording session in 1920s Chicago; Royale Theater, 242 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, $50-$80 [opens 2/6, through 6/29].

Monsieur Ibrahim and the Flowers of the Koran In 1960s Paris a Jewish boy & an Arab shopkeeper come to realize broader definitions of family; McGinn/Cazale Theater, 2162 B'way (betw. 76th & 77th Sts.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $15 [opens 1/26, through 2/16].

Sleeping with Straight Men Based on true story, gay man admits to crushing on a hetero during national talk show & is killed (starring Mink Stole); Maverick Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Tues. at 8, $35 [opens 2/16].

Ten Little Indians Agatha Christie's dramatization of her novel, And Then There Were None, courtesy of Theater by the Blind; Blue Heron Arts Center, 123 E. 24th St. (betw. Park Ave. S. & Lexington Ave.), 212-206-1515; call for times, $19, $15 st./s.c. [opens 1/31, through 2/16].

The Winter's Tale Shakespeare returns to Classic Stage Co. after 16 years; 136 E. 13th St. (betw. 3rd & 4th Aves.), 212-315-2120; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $35-$50 [opens 1/30, through 2/23].

The Woman from the Sea Based on Ibsen's original Norwegian script, The Lady from the Sea; T. Schreiber Studio, 151 W. 26th St., 7th fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-741-0265; call for times, $15 [opens 2/1, through 2/23].

RECENTLY OPENED

Adult Entertainment Danny Aiello & Jeannie Berlin star in new Elaine May comedy about porn; Variety Arts Theatre, 110 3rd Ave. (betw. 13th & 14th Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7:30, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $25-$65.

Almost Live from the Betty Ford Clinic Michael West's biting one-man show explores the bizarre mental landscapes of more than 20 celebrities; Douglas Fairbanks Theater, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds. & Thurs. at 8, $20.

Angry Jellow Bubbles Eva Minemar's production allowing women to perform their memoirs on stage?now in its fourth year at the Workshop Theater Co., 312 W. 36th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-465-3410; Weds. at 7, Sat. at 8, $12 [through 2/15].

Art, Life, & Show-Biz, A Non-Fiction Play "Life in the theater and the theater in life" created by Ain Gorden?pieces together true stories, research, myths & interviews at P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; Weds.-Sun. at 7:30, $15 [through 1/26].

Bad Bugs Bite "Audio-visual theater piece explores the violent & aggressive impulses stemming from the body"; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sun. at 7:30, $20 [through 2/9].

Betty Rules Musical tracks life of female-fronted rock band; Zipper Theater, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Thurs. & Tues. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 5, $29.90-$44.90 [through 2/2].

The Cherry Orchard Chekhov's classic, staged "as the author intended it?a comedy"; Creative Artists Laboratory, 303 W. 42nd St., 3rd fl. (8th Ave.), 212-316-0400; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $10 [through 2/15].

Class Mothers '68 Priscilla Lopez becomes a seductive divorcée, a Puerto Rican seamstress, a Holocaust survivor, a sculptor's wife, a yenta & a community theater director. The goal: produce a musical tribute to their children, about to graduate from high school; Theatre Row Complex, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45 [through 2/9].

Comedians Trevor Griffith's adaptation of 1974 British play about stand-up comics debating stardom; Samuel Beckett Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $35-$50 [through 2/23].

Cookin' at the Cookery: The Music & Times of Alberta Hunter Musical traces life of blues singer whose first recorded track, "Down Hearted Blues" (1921) became Bessie Smith's first hit; Theater 3, 311 W. 43rd St., 3rd fl. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45 [through 3/2].

Corner Wars Tale follows drug trade in Philly w/original hiphop music; 47th St. Theater, 304 W. 47th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $40-$45, $25 st./s.c. [through 2/2].

Debbie Does Dallas Cumming-of-age story based on film of same name feat. original music & new cheers?but the girls keep their clothes on. Hilariously funny & still slightly crude; Jane Street Theatre, 113 Jane St. (betw. Washington St. & 10th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Thurs., Mon. & Tues. at 8, Fri. at 8 & 10:30, Sat. at 7 & 10, $30-$50, $25 st.

The Exonerated Bob Balaban directs Jessica Blank & Erik Jensen's controversial drama based on interviews w/falsely imprisoned death row inmates found innocent & freed; 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, Sun. at 3 & 7, $55.

Flower Drum Song Story based on novel by C.Y. Lee about a Chinese woman who moves to San Francisco; Virginia Theater, 245 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65-$95.

Ghoul Old Transylvania meets new vaudeville in comedy at the Ohio Theater, 66 Wooster St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts.), 212-496-3052; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15-$20 [through 2/8].

The Gondoliers or The King of Bavaria by Gilbert & Sullivan; City Center, 145 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; Fri. & Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $35-$65 [through 1/26].

Gone Home A young writer returns home, trying to reconstruct his childhood & make sense of his adult life; City Center, 131 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; Weds.-Sun. at 7:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $45, $20 st. [through 1/26].

Hairspray Musical based on John Waters' film about a plump girl's attempts to racially integrate a teen dance show; Neil Simon Theater, 250 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$100.

Hank Williams: Lost Highway Musical celebration of the wild life of a country music legend; Manhattan Ensemble Theater, 55 Mercer St. (betw. Broome & Grand Sts.), 212-925-1900; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mat. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $40-$45 [through 2/2].

Himself Colm Byrne's take on dreams & desires in a small Irish town; DR2 Theater, 103 E. 15th St. (betw. Park Ave. S. & Irving Pl.), 212-505-0858 or 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $20-$30.

Isadora?No Apologies Bachaus-worshiping queen of modern dance lives again at the Duke Theater, 229 W. 42nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 2, $25 [through 2/3].

Jennie Richee "brings to life the hallucinatory paintings and fantastical writings of American Outsider Artist Henry Darger in a surreal collage of music, live performance, projections and film"; St. Ann's Warehouse, 38 Water St. (betw. Dock & Main Sts.), DUMBO, 718-858-2424; Weds.-Fri. at 8, Sat. at 7:30, Sun. at 4, $25 [through 1/26].

Julius Caesar 24th season on the theme of betrayal continues at Lucille Lortel Theater, 121 Christopher St. (betw. Hudson & Bleecker Sts.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $55 [through 3/2].

Kerouac Tom O'Neil (Soldier's Death) directs new production blending fact & fiction; Producer's Club II, 616 9th Ave. (betw. 43rd & 44th Sts.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Mon. at 8, $35 [through 2/23].

La Boheme Baz Luhrmann's (Moulin Rouge, Strictly Ballroom) re-imagining of Puccini's opera w/English supertitles; Broadway Theatre, 1681 B'way (betw. 52nd & 53rd Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 2, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $20-$95.

The Ladies Vignettes & monologues examining the lives of infamous first ladies presented by Anne Washburn & Anne Kauffman; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; Fri.-Sun. at 7, $10-$15 [through 1/26].

The Last Virgin Bar-joke-come-to-life complete w/Christian, Jew & Arab trying to lay the pristine ghost sitting next to them; the Triad Theater, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), 212-494-0050; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sun. at 3, $36 [through 2/9].

Locos de Contento (Happily Mad) Argentinean couple prepares for emigration & a better life in faraway Asia. While the wife surrounds herself w/all things Japanese, the husband, along w/Argentina, slips into depression; Gramercy Arts Theater, 138 E. 27th St. (betw. Lexington & 3rd Aves.), 212-889-2850; call for times, $25-$40 [through 1/30].

Love/Sad Pilot crashes on the moon & befriends mysterious girl; Clemente Soto Vélez Cultural Center, 107 Suffolk St. (Delancey St.), 212-352-3101; call for times, $15 [through 1/25].

Medea Euripedes' classic tale of woman's unrelenting & terrible revenge on her husband, starring Fiona Shaw; Brooks Atkinson Theater, 256 W. 47th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sat. at 2, $60-$80 [through 2/22].

Miss Julie "What does it matter if a man gains the world and loses his soul?"?August Strindberg; Brooklyn Public Library, 25 4th Ave. (Pacific St.), 212-946-5613; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15 don. [through 2/1].

The Mystery of Attraction Brothers Ray (attorney) & Warren (cop) struggle w/temptation of all things scandalous; Tribeca Playhouse, 111 Reade St. (betw. W. B'way & Hudson St.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, Sun. at 5, $15 [through 1/27].

The Nastiest Drink in the World Vital Theatre Company pres. Mark Lowenstern's folk tale that follows King Fredipus & the silly unopposed laws of his kingdom; 432 W. 42nd St., 3rd fl. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-592-4508; call for times, $14 [through 2/23].

Nobody Knows I'm a Dog The anonymity of the internet lets six characters lose themselves in wishful personas & fictional lives, until reality returns w/a vengeance; Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-457-5498; Sun. at 8, $15.

Nude Boys Prancing About Revival of Robert Coles' "value and truth of the gay theater," which also played in 1998; Vortex Theater Co., 164 11th Ave. (betw. 22nd & 23rd Sts.), 212-206-1764; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 5, $19 [through 1/26].

Of Mice and Men John Steinbeck's tearjerker onstage at Jan Hus Playhouse, 351 E. 74th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-560-2241; call for times, $13-$25 [through 2/17].

Painted Snake in a Painted Chair Story of five closely-knit friends; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Weds.-Sun. at 8, mats. Sun. at 2:30, $15 [through 2/2].

The Plank Project Spoof on documentary theater stars 1100-pound transvestite stuck in a well?somebody's been reading their Beckett; Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-206-1515; Mon.-Fri. at 8, $15 [through 1/31].

The Prince and the Pauper Mark Twain's novel about a man & his doppelganger set to music; Lamb's Theater, 130 W. 44th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $40-$65 [through 1/31].

Psychotherapy Live! Audience members subject themselves to 13-mintue session on the couch w/"therapist" Lisa Levy; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-2680; Sat. at 8, $12 [through 2/1].

Red White Black & Blue Julie Polk plays several characters, incl. a 73-year-old black woman & a teenage boy wanting to set off fireworks, during one hot Fourth of July in Philadelphia; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-206-1515; Thurs. & Fri. at 8, Sat. at 10, $12 [through 1/25].

Say Goodnight Gracie Frank Gorshin plays George Burns, taking you on a guided tour of the famed performer's life, incl. his unlikely marriage to Gracie Allen (the words "Together Again" are engraved on she & George's head stone); Helen Hayes Theatre, 240 W. 44th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65-$70.

Selected Shorts: A Celebration of the Short Story "Classic and new short stories read by Broadway and Hollywood's finest actors, plus salute to Al Hirschfeld" at Symphony Space, 2537 B'way (95th St.), 212-864-5400; call for times, $21, $20 st./s.c.

Shanghai Moon Murder/mystery set in 1931 China, written by & starring Charles Busch; Greenwich House Theater, 27 Barrow St. (7th Ave. S.), 212-633-9632; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 7, $35 [through 2/9].

Slightly Irregular Pat Candaras' (Grandmotherfucker) new autobiographical production starring herself; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; Weds. at 7:30, $10 & 2 drink min. [through 1/29].

SSS-T-O-N-E-DDD "Jimmy Stillborne, a young experimental theatrical artist living in Coney Island, accidentally overdoses on LSD after attending a symposium on the future of experimental theater in the United States." Text by Walt Whitman, Thomas Jefferson, William Shakespeare, the King James Bible, Robert Frost, Malcolm X, Robert F. Kennedy, George Orwell and, of course, Jimmy Stillborne; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sat. at 10, Sun. at 5:30, $15 [through 1/26].

The Tempest Shakespeare's terrifying tragedy/romantic comedy onstage at Pearl Theater, 80 St. Marks Pl. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-598-9802; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 2, $30-$40 [through 1/26].

Tess' Last Night Young Canadian girl attempts to find love & stardom in NYC; the Education Alliance's Mazer Theater, 197 E. B'way (betw. Clinton & Jefferson Sts.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 2, $20 [through 2/9].

Tuesdays with Morrie David Esbjornson directs Mitch Albom's touching autobiographical tale feat. Alvin Epstein as Morrie & Jon Tenney as Mitch; Minetta Lane Theater, 18 Minetta La. (6th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 3, $45-$65.

Twelfth Night/Uncle Vanya Sam Mendes (director of American Beauty & stage production of Cabaret) pres. new renditions of Shakespeare & Chekhov, performed by London's Donmar Warehouse; BAM's Harvey Theater, 651 Fulton St. (betw. Rockwell & Ashland Pls.), Fort Greene, 718-636-4100 for sched.; $30-$75 [through 3/9].

Vincent Musical depiction of the life of Van Gogh, who "overcame all obstacles in his path toward greatness." If you consider a one-eared, poverty-stricken suicide to be some sort of fantastic triumph, this is the story for you; Wings Theater, 154 Christopher St. (betw. Greenwich & Washington Sts.), 212-627-2961; Thurs.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3:30, $19.

World War Zero "From the fist to the atom bomb" w/characters Jack Zero, Glamorous Damaris, 3-Dollar Bill & LL Coolie; Theater for the New City, 155 1st Ave. (10th St.), 212-254-1109; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $10 [through 2/2].