STAGE WEDNESDAY 1/15 Cabaret "Full Circle" Linda Glick ...

Cabaret

"Full Circle" Linda Glick debuts w/David Brunetti on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita update the lounge act w/classics like "Stairway to Heaven" & cheesy renditions of Eminem hits; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].

"Revolutionary Chickens" Rob Lok tells his family's story of escaping communist China using puppets, masks, clowning & other circus arts; the Bindlestiff Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 877-246-3537; 8, $7 [repeats Thurs.].

Sideshow Gallery Audio Art Performance Series pres. artist Alan Scarritt's live performance piece "Soon To Be Released" feat. Todd Capp, Todd Colburn & Anai Siwanowicz; Sideshow Gallery, 319 Bedford Ave. (betw. S. 2nd & S. 3rd Sts.), Williamsburg, 718-486-8180; 7 p.m., free.

Comedy

Letterman Auditions Check out the most promising up & coming young comics before their egos explode; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 9, $10 & 2 drink min.

Steve Marshall Stand-up w/Greg Vacarello, Billy Burr, Greg Rogell, Jackson Perdue & Jessica Kirson; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45 to closing, $12.50-$20 [repeats Thurs. & Sun. 8:45 to closing, Fri. at 8:30 & 10:30, Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Kevin Brennan, Mitch Fatel, Godfrey & Robert Kelly at great comedy venue; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10-$15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 9 & 11, Fri. at 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., Sat. at 7:30, 9:15, 11 & 12:45 a.m.].

Joan Rivers pokes fun at her face-lifts (who'd of guessed?), daughter Melissa's woes & role as captain of the fashion police; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 7, $25.

Dance

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. Cynthia Oliver in "AfroSocialiteLifeDiva"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, call for prices [through 2/2].

New York City Ballet continues its winter repertory season at the New York State Theater, Lincoln Center Plaza, B'way (63rd St.), 212-870-5570; call for sched. & prices [through 3/2].

THURSDAY 1/16

Comedy

Mike Epps Stand-up from funnyman, you may have seen in Next Friday & All About the Benjamins; Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 10, $32 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., Sat. at 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., Sun. at 8 & 10].

Fusion Ritch Duncan hosts night of stand-up, music & video shorts from comics Sean Conroy, Jay Oakes, Bernadette Pauley & Debbie Shea?part of HA! Comedy Fest; St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks Pl., (betw. A & 1st Aves.), 212-206-1515; 8, $7, $5 st./s.c.

Dance

Allyson Green & Ben Wright in "Interim" at Danspace Project at St. Mark's Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-8194; 8:30, $15 [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 8:30, Sun. at 7:30].

Holocaust Stories Series of dance/theater works incl. Gabrielle Lansner & Co. in "The Jewish Wife" (based on Brecht's play), "Magda" (based on two short stories by Cynthia Ozick) & "Address Unknown" (based on Kressmann Taylor's novel); Duke Theater, 229 W. 42nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; 8, $20 [repeats Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2].

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. ChameckiLerner in "Visible Content"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, call for price [repeats Fri., through 1/26].

FRIDAY 1/17

Cabaret

"Lovely" Kelly Briggs & Jerry Christakos star in musical comedy feat. John McMahon on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

Comedy

Laurie Kilmartin Stand-up w/Sam Greenfield, Dan Natureman & Pete Correale; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9 & 10, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 8, 10 & 12:30 a.m.].

"The Lecher Defense" Andrew Joffe's naughty sitcom pairs a straight laced defense lawyer (Nicole Golden) w/an unrepentant adult movie maker (Paul Singleton) & hilarious consequences ensue?part of HA! Comedy Fest; Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; 8, $7.

Angelo Lozado Stand-up w/Russ Meneve, Kevin Brennan, Kenny Williams & Laurie Kilmartin; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 8, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

Colin Quinn He's finally got a hit show & even made us pity the Irish, now nothing can stop him from heading to the top where he forgets about the little people; Joseph Papp Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-239-6200; 7:30, $15 [repeats Sat.].

Dance

Shared Evening Shannon Hummel/CORA in "Stay" & Maureen Brennan in "Alma"; Brooklyn Arts Exchange, 421 5th Ave. (8th St.), Bklyn, 718-832-0018; 8, $8-$15 [repeats Sat.].

SATURDAY 1/18

Cabaret

Cary Hoffman performs Frank Sinatra's "most celebrated 50s classics" w/an 11-piece orchestra?& listen, this guy sounds exactly like Frank; Carnegie Club, 156 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-843-8073; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.

"I Love to Sing!" Jeffrey Miller performs w/David Brunetti on piano. The question remains, will we love to listen?; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min. [repeats Tues.].

Va Va Voom Room Miss Astrid hosts night of burlesque, vaudeville, strippers, magicians & clowns at Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 10:30, $15 & 2 drink min.

Comedy

The Carmen Mofongo Show Michele Carlo's take on the Chiquita Banana lady distracts you so that guests, incl. Margaret Dodge, Girlbomb, Curtis Scagnetti, Bruce Smolanoff & Raven Solano, can take advantage?part of HA! Comedy Fest; Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; 8:30, $7.

Charity Comedy Jam The On Your Feet Project pres. cutting edge comics incl. Craig Baldo, Susie Felber, Demetri Martin, Amy Crossfield & Bridget Smith, Rebecca Tingley, Jen Kirwin & Eugene Mirman making you laugh to help those less fortunate?proceeds benefit Help USA; the Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery (betw. Bleecker & Houston Sts.), www.onyourfeetproject.org; 10, $10.

"Gay & Lesbian Comedy Fest!" The fabulous Michael Conley hosts a night of stand-up & musical comedy by Danny McWilliams, Sharon Williams, Sidney Myer, Mina Hartong, Shecky Beagleman, Courtney Knowles & Poppi Kramer; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 9, $10 & 2 drink min.

"Live Saturday Night" A cappella band, What About Buford performs comedic "eclectic mix of sexy & sophisticated music"?plus free wine & beer; the Joyous Life Center, 119 W. 23rd St. #700 (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), RSVP 212-352-9910; 8, $10.

"Pink Steel: Queens of the Damned" Alex Brewer & Ken Grobe become the gay German heavy metal duo Pink Steel & perform catchy tunes incl. "We Fight For Cock" & "I'm Comin' Out (All Over You)" while they battle for the souls they sold to Gaytan, the other hell demon?part of HA! Comedy Fest; St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks Pl., (betw. A & 1st Aves.), 212-206-1515; 10, $7, $5 st./s.c.

Dance

"The Main Event" AT&T dance series pres. Jeanine Durning in "Half Urge"; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, call for price [repeats Sun. at 2].

SUNDAY 1/19

Cabaret

"How Did I End up Here??" Aaron Morishita, of Lounge-O-Leers fame, performs w/the Jon Delfin Trio; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

Kate's Chink-O-Rama Kate Rigg w/Dave Jung & slew of Asian fly-girls embrace stereotypes for your viewing pleasure in sketches, dance numbers & song parodies incl. "Rice Rice Baby," "Turning Japanese!" & a soon to be retired Christmas burkha number; Joseph Papp Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 9:30, $17.

"Magical Madness" Albert Cadabra, Adam Cardone & George Gorlick pres. ancient torture rituals, mind reading, voice throwing & "the blood & flames of hell" during vaudevillian magic show; the Bindlestiff Palace of Variety, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 877-BINDLES; 8, call for prices.

Comedy

Tom Soter's Sunday Night Improv See comedy legends mix with up & comers for night of improved skits, games & musical numbers; the Little Theater at the West Side YMCA, 5 W. 63rd St. (Central Park W.), 212-353-7716; 7, $10.

MONDAY 1/20

Cabaret

"Leer Mondays" Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita rocked us w/unique renditions of TLC's "No Scrubs" & Las Ketchups' "Hey Hah,"?no pop hit is safe!; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10, $12 min.

"MORE?Songs by Stephen Sondheim" Aaron Morishita, of Lounge-O-Leers fame, performs w/the Jon Delfin Trio; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $12 min.

Comedy

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Lisa Lampanelli, Godfrey, Hood & Patrice O'Neal at a great comedy venue; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Tues.].

"6:30 Mondays" Greg Contreras hosts stand-up open mic feat. fresh talent working out the kinks in their routines?one drink gets you five glorious minutes on stage; the Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Sullivan & Thompson Sts.), 212-260-7993; 6:30, 1 drink min.

TUESDAY 1/21

Cabaret

"A Night With Adam Roth & the Jaded Six" Musical comedy show feat. talent of Joe Vincent, Alec Morton, George Gilmore & C.P. Roth performing original songs & covers in "Stump the Band" a take off on "Name That Tune"; Arlene Grocery, 95 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.), 212-358-1663; 9:30, $5.

Tooth & Nail Rob LaRocco & Sam Austin pres. a comedic vaudevillian adventure that follows two cabaret stars as they bring their show through the scenic back roads of America, feat. original songs, pop tunes & Broadway standards; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 9:30, $12 & 2 drink min.

Comedy

Jordon Ferber Native New Yorker and up & coming comic shares all the details of his recent trip to Amsterdam, that is, if he can remember any of it; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 9, $10 & 2 drink min.

Mark Demayo's One Man Show at Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 10, $15 & 2 drink min.

The Search for My Inner Latina Michele Carlo attempts to embrace her ethnic identity but finds little comfort in the prepackaged, pop culture Latina ideal at workshop reading of her new solo show; Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-777-6088; 8:30, free.

Dance

Dance Theater Workshop pres. Bill Shannon "Crutch Master" & the Step Fenz in AOW: Remix at Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; call for times & prices [through 2/9].

THEATER

Performance times follow the paper's publishing schedule (Weds.-Tues.). We recommend calling theaters to verify.

IN PREVIEWS

Comedians Trevor Griffith's adaptation of 1974 British play about stand-up comics debating stardom; Samuel Beckett Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds. at 7, Thurs.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $35 [opens 1/15, through 2/23].

Cookin' at the Cookery: The Music & Times of Alberta Hunter Musical traces life of blues singer whose first recorded track, "Down Hearted Blues" (1921) became Bessie Smith's first hit; Theater 3, 311 W. 43rd St., 3rd fl. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45 [opens 1/22, through 3/2].

Corner Wars Tale follows drug trade in Philly w/original hiphop music; 47th St. Theater, 304 W. 47th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $40-$45, $25 st./s.c. [opens 1/19, through 2/2].

Fifth of July First Lanford Wilson play in Talley Trilogy follows lives of group of 60s radicals during two-day reunion & stars Robert Sean Leonard & Parker Posey; Signature Theater Company, 555 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-244-PLAY; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $55 [opens 2/3, through 3/9].

Himself Colm Byrne's take on dreams & desires in a small Irish town; DR2 Theater, 103 E. 15th St. (betw. Park Ave. S. & Irving Pl.), 212-505-0858 or 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $20-$30 [opens 1/21].

Julius Caesar 24th season on the theme of betrayal continues at Lucille Lortel Theater, 121 Christopher St. (betw. Hudson & Bleecker Sts.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $55 [opens 1/19, through 3/2].

Kerouac Tom O'Neil (Soldier's Death) directs new production blending fact & fiction; Producer's Club II, 616 9th Ave. (betw. 43rd & 44th Sts.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Mon. at 8, $35 [opens 1/26, through 2/23].

Ma Rainey's Black Bottom Whoopi Goldberg & Charles S. Dutton star in a revival of August Wilson's tale, about a group's recording session in 1920s Chicago; Royale Theater, 242 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Fri. & Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, $50-$80 [opens 2/6, through 6/29].

Monsieur Ibrahim and the Flowers of the Koran In 1960s Paris a Jewish boy & an Arab shopkeeper come to realize broader definitions of family; McGinn/Cazale Theater, 2162 B'way (betw. 76th & 77th Sts.), 212-279-4200; Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $15 [opens 1/26, through 2/16].

Painted Snake in a Painted Chair Story of five closely-knit friends; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sun. at 8, mats. Sun. at 2:30, $15 [opens 1/18, through 2/2].

Shanghai Moon Murder/mystery set in 1931 China, written by & starring Charles Busch; Greenwich House Theater, 27 Barrow St. (7th Ave. S.), 212-633-9632; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 7, $35 [opens 1/16, through 2/9].

The Winter's Tale Shakespeare returns to Classic Stage Co. after 16 years; 136 E. 13th St. (betw. 3rd & 4th Aves.), 212-315-2120; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $35-$50 [opens 1/30, through 2/23].

RECENTLY OPENED

Adult Entertainment Danny Aiello & Jeannie Berlin star in new Elaine May comedy about porn; Variety Arts Theatre, 110 3rd Ave. (betw. 13th & 14th Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7:30, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $25-$65.

Almost Live from the Betty Ford Clinic Michael West's biting one-man show explores the bizarre mental landscapes of more than 20 celebrities; Douglas Fairbanks Theater, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds. & Thurs. at 8, $20.

Angry Jellow Bubbles Eva Minemar's production allowing women to perform their memoirs on stage?now in its fourth year at the Workshop Theater Co., 312 W. 36th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-465-3410; Weds.-Sun. at 7, $12 [through 1/19].

Art, Life, & Show-Biz, A Non-Fiction Play "Life in the theater and the theater in life" created by Ain Gorden?pieces together true stories, research, myths & interviews at P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; Weds.-Sun. at 7:30, $15 [through 1/26].

Betty Rules Musical tracks life of female-fronted rock band; Zipper Theater, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Thurs. & Tues. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 5, $29.90-$44.90 [through 2/2].

Class Mothers '68 Priscilla Lopez becomes a seductive divorcée, a Puerto Rican seamstress, a Holocaust survivor, a sculptor's wife, a yenta & a community theater director. The goal: produce a musical tribute to their children, about to graduate from high school; Theatre Row Complex, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45 [through 2/9].

Debbie Does Dallas Cumming-of-age story based on film of same name feat. original music & new cheers?but the girls keep their clothes on. Hilariously funny & still slightly crude; Jane Street Theatre, 113 Jane St. (betw. Washington St. & 10th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Thurs., Mon. & Tues. at 8, Fri. at 8 & 10:30, Sat. at 7 & 10, $30-$50, $25 st.

The Exonerated Bob Balaban directs Jessica Blank & Erik Jensen's controversial drama based on interviews w/falsely imprisoned death row inmates found innocent & freed; 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, Sun. at 3 & 7, $55.

Flower Drum Song Story based on novel by C.Y. Lee about a Chinese woman who moves to San Francisco; Virginia Theater, 245 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65-$95.

Ghoul Old Transylvania meets new vaudville in comedy at the Ohio Theater, 66 Wooster St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts.), 212-496-3052; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15-$20 [through 2/8].

Gone Home A young writer returns home, trying to reconstruct his childhood & make sense of his adult life; City Center, 131 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; Weds.-Sun. & Tues. at 7:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $45, $20 st. [through 1/26].

Hairspray Musical based on John Waters' film about a plump girl's attempts to racially integrate a teen dance show; Neil Simon Theater, 250 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$100.

Hank Williams: Lost Highway Musical celebration of the wild life of a country music legend; Manhattan Ensemble Theater, 55 Mercer St. (betw. Broome & Grand Sts.), 212-925-1900; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mat. Sun. at 2, $40-$45 [through 2/2].

Jennie Richee "brings to life the hallucinatory paintings and fantastical writings of American Outsider Artist Henry Darger in a surreal collage of music, live performance, projections and film"; St. Ann's Warehouse, 38 Water St. (betw. Dock & Main Sts.), DUMBO, 718-858-2424, www.artsatstanns.org; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 7:30, Sun. at 4, $25 [through 1/26].

La Boheme Baz Luhrmann's (Moulin Rouge, Strictly Ballroom) re-imagining of Puccini's opera w/English supertitles; Broadway Theatre, 1681 B'way (betw. 52nd & 53rd Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 2, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $20-$95.

The Ladies Vignettes & monologues examining the lives of infamous first ladies presented by Anne Washburn & Anne Kauffman; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; Fri.-Sun. at 7, $10-$15 [through 1/26].

The Last Virgin Bar-joke-come-to-life complete w/Christian, Jew & Arab trying to lay the pristine ghost sitting next to them; the Triad Theater, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), 212-494-0050; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sun. at 3, $36 [through 2/9].

Locos de Contento (Happily Mad) Argentinean couple prepares for emigration & a better life in faraway Asia. While the wife surrounds herself w/all things Japanese, the husband, along w/Argentina, slips into depression; Gramercy Arts Theater, 138 E. 27th St. (betw. Lexington & 3rd Aves.), 212-889-2850; call for times, $25-$40 [through 1/30].

Love/Sad Pilot crashes on the moon & befriends mysterious girl; Clemente Soto Vélez Cultural Center, 107 Suffolk St. (Delancey St.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 2, $15 [through 1/25].

Medea Euripedes' classic tale of woman's unrelenting & terrible revenge on her husband, starring Fiona Shaw; Brooks Atkinson Theater, 256 W. 47th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sat. at 2, $60-$80 [through 2/22].

The Mikado by Gilbert & Sullivan Players; City Center, 145 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; Fri. & Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $35-$65 [through 1/19].

Miss Julie "What does it matter if a man gains the world and loses his soul?"?August Strindberg; Brooklyn Public Library, 25 4th Ave. (Pacific St.), 212-946-5613; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15 don. [through 2/1].

The Mystery of Attraction Brothers Ray (attorney) & Warren (cop) struggle w/temptation of all things scandalous; Tribeca Playhouse, 111 Reade St. (betw. W. B'way & Hudson St.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, Sun. at 5, $15 [through 1/27].

Nobody Knows I'm a Dog The anonymity of the internet lets six characters lose themselves in wishful personas & fictional lives, until reality returns w/a vengeance; Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-457-5498; Sun. at 8, $15.

Nude Boys Prancing About Revival of Robert Coles' "value and truth of the gay theater," which also played in 1998; Vortex Theater Co., 164 11th Ave. (betw. 22nd & 23rd Sts.), 212-206-1764; Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, Sun. at 5, $19 [through 1/26].

Of Mice and Men John Steinbeck's tearjerker onstage at Jan Hus Playhouse, 351 E. 74th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-560-2241; call for times, $13-$25 [through 2/17].

The Plank Project Spoof on documentary theater stars 1100-pound transvestite stuck in a well?somebody's been reading their Beckett; Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-206-1515; Mon.-Fri. at 8, $15 [through 1/31].

The Prince and the Pauper Mark Twain's novel about a man & his doppelganger set to music; Lamb's Theater, 130 W. 44th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $40-$65 [through 1/31].

Psychotherapy Live! Audience members subject themselves to 13-mintue session on the couch w/"therapist" Lisa Levy; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-2680; Sat. at 8, $12 [through 2/1].

Red White Black & Blue Julie Polk plays several characters, incl. a 73-year-old black woman & a teenage boy wanting to set off fireworks, during one hot Fourth of July in Philadelphia; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $12 [through 1/25].

Say Goodnight Gracie Frank Gorshin plays George Burns, taking you on a guided tour of the famed performer's life, incl. his unlikely marriage to Gracie Allen (the words "Together Again" are engraved on she & George's head stone); Helen Hayes Theatre, 240 W. 44th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65-$70.

Selected Shorts: A Celebration of the Short Story "Classic and new short stories read by Broadway and Hollywood's finest actors, plus salute to Al Hirschfeld" at Symphony Space, 2537 B'way (95th St.), 212-864-5400; call for times, $21, $20 st./s.c.

Slightly Irregular Pat Candaras' (Grandmotherfucker) new autobiographical production starring herself; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; Weds. at 7:30, $10 & 2 drink min. [through 1/29].

SSS-T-O-N-E-DDD "Jimmy Stillborne, a young experimental theatrical artist living in Coney Island, accidentally overdoses on LSD after attending a symposium on the future of experimental theater in the United States." Text by Walt Whitman, Thomas Jefferson, William Shakespeare, the King James Bible, Robert Frost, Malcolm X, Robert F. Kennedy, George Orwell and, of course, Jimmy Stillborne; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sat. at 10, Sun. at 5:30, $15 [through 1/26].

The Tempest Shakespeare's terrifying tragedy/romantic comedy onstage at Pearl Theater, 80 St. Marks Pl. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-598-9802; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 2, $30-$40 [through 1/26].

Tess' Last Night Young Canadian girl attempts to find love & stardom in NYC; the Education Alliance's Mazer Theater, 197 E. B'way (betw. Clinton & Jefferson Sts.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 2 & 7, $20 [through 2/9].

Tuesdays with Morrie David Esbjornson directs Mitch Albom's touching autobiographical tale feat. Alvin Epstein as Morrie & Jon Tenney as Mitch; Minetta Lane Theater, 18 Minetta La. (6th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 3, $45-$65.

Twelfth Night/Uncle Vanya Sam Mendes (director of American Beauty & stage production of Cabaret) pres. new renditions of Shakespeare & Chekhov, performed by London's Donmar Warehouse; BAM's Harvey Theater, 651 Fulton St. (betw. Rockwell & Ashland Pl.), Fort Greene, 718-636-4100 for sched.; $30-$75 [through 3/9].

Vincent Musical depiction of the life of Van Gogh, who "overcame all obstacles in his path toward greatness." If you consider a one-eared, poverty-stricken suicide to be some sort of fantastic triumph, this is the story for you; Wings Theater, 154 Christopher St. (betw. Greenwich & Washington Sts.), 212-627-2961; Thurs.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3:30, $19.

World War Zero "From the fist to the atom bomb" w/characters Jack Zero, Glamorous Damaris, 3-Dollar Bill & LL Coolie; Theater for the New City, 155 1st Ave. (10th St.), 212-254-1109; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $10 [through 2/2].