STAGE WEDNESDAY 10/23 Cabaret "Aznavour in Bloem" Frans Bloem performs ...
Cabaret
"Aznavour in Bloem" Frans Bloem performs various songs from French composer Charles Aznavour's repertoire, in English, French & Russian w/musical direction by Sterling Price-McKinney; Danny's Skylight Room, 346 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-265-8133, 9:15, $12 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. at 7 & Sun. at 4].
The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita impress w/retro hits via synthesizer; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].
"A New Show!" Tennie Leonard returns w/something new feat. David Brunetti on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
"Something Old, Something New" Israeli entertainer Dudu Fisher performs traditional Jewish standards & Broadway favorites; the Mazer Theatre, 197 E. B'way (Jefferson St.), 212-239-6200; 2 & 8, $45-$60 [repeats Thurs.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, Sun. at 2 & 8, through 12/8].
Comedy
"Big Vagina Monologues" & "Unemployed" In "Big Vagina Monologues," Jackie Clark knows that the bigger the lips, the better?just ask the masturbating parrot (8:30); while in "Unemployed" Paul Scheer sleeps in & makes the most of three months without a paycheck; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 8, $5 for both.
Nick DiPaolo Stand-up at Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 7:30, $16 & 2 drink min.
Elephantoberfest Join sketch comedy troupe Elephant Larry w/members Geoff Haggerty, Stefan Lawrence, Chris Principe, Jeff Soloman & Alexander Zalben to party like it's October?hey, wait, it is October!; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 347-742-8562; 8, $7.
Lisa Lampanelli Self-proclaimed Queen of Mean lashes out; Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 9:30, $17 & 2 drink min.
The Orphans spin a one-word audience suggestion into 60 minutes of long-form improv without help from their absentee parents; St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks Pl. (betw. 1st Ave. & Ave. A), 212-206-1515; 8, $10, $7 st.
Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Greer Barnes, Godfrey, Greg Giraldo & Lisa Lampanelli; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10-$15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun. at 9 & 11, Fri. at 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., Sat. at 7:30, 9:15, 11 & 12:45 a.m.].
John Rizzo Stand-up w/Richie Byrne, Rich Ramirez, Sherrod Small, Steve Byrne & Nancy Redman; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45 to closing, $12.50-$20 [repeats Thurs. & Sun. 8:45 to closing, Fri. at 8:30 & 10:30, Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].
Dance
American Ballet Theatre Fall season continues w/two weeks of excerpts & movements w/highlights incl. Sylvia Pas de Deux, Grand Pas Classique, A Tribute to George Harrison & "Fancy Free" performed by company & soloists; City Center, 130 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $30-$75 [repeats Thurs.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2].
Danielandsomesuperfriends performs world premiere of company's third dance theater work "Forward" feat. mixture of modern dance w/modern ballet & costumes by Diane von Furstenberg; the Theater 383 W.12th St. (betw. Washington St. & the West Side Hwy.), 646-654-1484; 8, $15, $12 st./s.c. [repeats Thurs.-Sat.].
Katie Lyon & Terry Dean "put on a dance show" at Galapagos, which bills the event as offering a "full bar," which sounds deceptively close to free bar?don't fuck w/a man who got the shakes!; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-782-5188; 7:30, $10.
Susan Marshall & Company, where "a unique style of emotional storytelling transforms everyday movement into powerful, abstract drama?" and stuff; the World Financial Center, 200 Liberty St. (West St.), 212-945-0505; 6:30, free [repeats Thurs.].
Sticks & Stones Hysteria Dance Co. makes NYC debut tonight at White Wave, 25 Jay St. (betw. Plymouth & John Sts.), Bklyn, 718-855-8822; 8, call for price.
Time of Communion One a them there new media, mixed media type-deals that we're never quite sure how to accurately describe; the Kitchen, 512 W. 19th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-255-5793; 8, $15 [through Sat.].
THURSDAY 10/24
Cabaret
"?Down a Third" Michael McAssey celebrates 20th year in cabaret w/new & classic songs & stories from his long career, at the place where it all began; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), RSVP 212-757-0788; 10, $15 & 2 drink min.
"An Evening" Tony Messina w/Kenny Ascher on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
Luigi & Arlette Duo tickles some ivories in bar of Italian restaurant; Baldoria, 240 W. 49th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-582-0460; 9, free w/dinner or drinks [repeats Sat.].
"Magical Madness" Albert Cadabra, Adam Cardone & George Gorlick pres. ancient torture rituals, mind reading, voice throwing & the blood & flames of hell at vaudvillian magic show; Tagine, 537 9th Ave. (40th St.), 212-564-7292; 9, $8 & 2 drink min.
"Songs to Offend Almost Everyone" Sharon McKnight dishes it out w/Ian Herman on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10:30, $10 min. [repeats Sat. at 11].
Comedy
Joe Clair Sometime rapper is Seriously Funny; Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 10:30, $19-$22 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 12:30 a.m., Sun. at 10].
East Coast Funny Women Festival Chicago's successful all-chick weekend of laughs, workshops & seminars comes to NY w/performers incl. Tracy Esposito, Jeni Aron, Ho's Before Bro's & Bayne Gibby; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), www.funnywomenfest.org for full schedule, RSVP 646-498-3748; $12, 9:30.
The Fourth-Annual SuperRunners Comedy Night Coach Mike Keohane preps his troops for the marathon w/a little pre-race laughter from Ron Poole, Sidney Myers, Maureen Langdon, Paul Wendall & Anne Smith; Super Runners Shop, 1246 3rd Ave. (72nd St.), 212-249-2133; 7:30, free.
Happy Hour Tim Halpern pres. the very funny United Nations of comedy feat. host Deidre Sullivan, D.C. Benny, Vijai Nathan, Blanca Dominguez, Kate Rigg, Angelo Lozado & special guests; Two Boots, 44 Ave. A (3rd St.), 212-254-1919; 9, $5 incl. drink or pizza.
Brian Regan Clean stand-up at Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 8:30, $22-$26 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 8 & 10:30, Sun. at 8].
Sweet Thursday Neal Casey & Joe Wengert emcee stand-up from Dan Ahdoot & improv by My Kickass Van & long-form troupe Kings County Foundation for Dramatic Studies; Blu Lounge, 197 N. 8th St. (Driggs Ave.), Williamsburg, RSVP 718-782-8005; 9, free.
Dance
Body Blend "A new dance series of mixed media" w/Sara Juli & Alexx Shilling, Rachel Shao-Lan Blum, Anna Sperber, Jamie Sporn & Aydan Turker; Dixon Place at Vineyard 26, 309 E. 26th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-532-1546; call for times, $12, $10 st./s.c.
Grupo Corpo Brazil co. pres. two U.S. premieres: 1992's "21" & 2000's "O Corpo" choreographed by Rodrigo Pederneiras feat. mix of ballet, Latin & African influences?as part of BAM's 20th "New Wave Festival"; BAM Howard Gilman Opera House, 30 Lafayette Ave. (Ashland Pl.), Fort Greene, 718-636-4100; 7:30, $25-$45 [repeats Fri & Sat.].
The Main Event dance series pres. David Drake's Son of Dracula; DTW Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, $32 [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 7, Sun. at 2].
FRIDAY 10/25
Cabaret
"The Melody Lingers On: Part 2" Barbara Lea w/the Wes McAfee Duo; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
Peggy Pope Comic actress, who played the lush in 9 to 5, pres. her all new cabaret w/Woody Regan on piano. "Atta-Girl!"; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 7, 2 drink min.
"Rules of the Road?A Love Story" Matt Leahy w/Mark Hartman on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10:30, $10 min.
Comedy
"Behind the Musical" Glue pres. "an edgy look at backstage life" through musical improv feat. backstabbing, betrayal, spiritual awakening & of course rehearsal; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 9, $7.
Sue Costello Stand-up w/Spanky (Stephen Kent), Russ Meneve, Andrew Kennedy & Bryan Callen; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 8, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $15 & 2 drink min.
The Friday Night Freakathon Joe Dixon hosts stand-up for the tragically single freaks out there?who'd be eating alone if they weren't all here together; back room at Gioia Restaurant, 387 6th Ave. (betw. Waverly Pl. & W. 8th St.), 212-255-7800; 8:30, free.
Hideous Exuberance Steve Bird's (our favorite serial caller) one-man show feat. surreal celebrity parody, deconstruction of "the West" & stream of consciousness rants; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-561-9740; 10, $5 [repeats Sat.].
Komedy Kabob Returns?Again Night of stand-up from Tim Brennan, Pat Rigby, Jordon Ferber, Joe Devito, Tom McCafrey, Roger Hailes & Jimmy Failla is like hanging out w/your friends but a lot fucking funnier; Comolo's, 359 6th Ave. (betw. W. 4th St. & Washington Pl.), 212-243-9782; 9, free.
Stand-up Sushi Comedy that's as raw as your dinner; Shiki's Japanese Restaurant & Sushi Bar, 69 7th Aves. S. (Bleecker St.), 212-206-7024; 11, free w/2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].
Dance
Lake: Imaginary Dreams of Russia Beth Stoll & Co. at Williamsburg Art Nexus, WAX, 205 N. 7th St. (betw. Driggs Ave. & Roebling St.), Williamsburg, 718-599-7997; 8, $12 [through Sun.].
SABA Dance Theater pres. premiere of N.O.N.S.E.N.S.E?man, the French make this shit too easy!; French Institute's Florence Gould Hall, 55 E. 59th St. (betw. Madison & Park Aves.), 212-355-6160; 8, $12-$20 [repeats Sat. at 2 & 8].
SATURDAY 10/26
Cabaret
"Around the World in a Bad Mood" Through sketches & songs, real-life flight attendant Rene Foss illustrates how mechanical delays & in-flight fights make her flying experiences far worse than the passengers'; upstairs at Rose's Turn, 55 Grove St. (betw. 7th Ave. & Christopher St.), 212-712-8702; 7, $12 & 2 drink min.
"A Brand New Us" Judy Kreston & David Lahm start anew w/Ratzo Harris on bass & Phil Leone on drums; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
"Guy & Doll" Debra Vogel & Brian Tom O'Connor w/musical director Darryl Curry fight the war between the sexes through song; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 6:30, $10.
Cary Hoffman performs Frank Sinatra's "most celebrated 50s classics" w/an 11-piece orchestra?& listen, this guy sounds exactly like Frank; Carnegie Club, 156 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-843-8073; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.
"Love is Where You Find It: The Music of Nacio Herb Brown" American Composer Series pres. Heather Stuart, Barbara MacArthur, Stephanie Foster, Michele Bailey & Bryan Campo performing the songs "Singin' in the Rain" & "Make 'em Laugh" composed by the late Brown; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), RSVP 212-757-0788; 3:30, $8 & 2 drink min.
Va Va Voom Room Miss Astrid hosts night of burlesque, vaudeville, strippers, magicians & clowns; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 10:30, $15 & 2 drink min.
Comedy
Autumnal Love Fest Cool temperatures make Wendy Caplan feel the need to warms things up w/spicy comedy; the Ruby Fruit Bar & Grill, 531 Hudson St. (betw. 10th & Charles Sts.), 212-929-3343; 9, $5.
Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Ritch Duncan emcees stand-up feat. Sean Conroy, Ed Helms, Karey Dornetto, Kevin Bartini, Abby Scott, Debbie Shea, Joe DeVito, Rusty Ward, Gary Welz, Larry Getlan & Amber Tozer; East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), Carroll Gardens, 718-624-8878; 9, $5.
Girl on Girl Action Asaf Ronen directs the "Charlie's Angels" of improv feat. skateboarding "Jill," mysterious "Kelly" & foxy yet bookish "Sabrina" as they tackle time & space to make you laugh; 45 Below, 45 Bleecker St. (betw. Mott & Mulberry Sts.), 212-330-0685; 10:30, $5 [through 11/2].
Live Saturday Night Improv comedy w/free wine & beer; the Joyous Life Center, 119 W. 23rd St. #700 (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), RSVP 212-352-9910; 8, $10.
The Rock Albers Show: An Evening of Comedy & Songs The man in the Brooks Bros. Suit w/the bunny ears & tail, pokes fun at everyone & sings out one last time at Rose's Turn, 55 Grove St. (betw. 7th Ave. & Christopher St.), 212-206-1515; 7, $10 & 2 drink.
Secret Slut UCB's Matt Walsh swore to protect the First Daughter (Missy O'Reilly), but banged her instead, destroying her virtue; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 9, $7 [through 10/26].
Un-Cabaret's The Other Network Modern Humorist pres. three-day screening festival of un-aired tv pilots from Conan O'Brien, Ben Stiller, Bob Odenkirk (Mr. Show) & Darren Starr; Main Space, the Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St. (betw. Church St. & B'way), 212-219-3006; 7, $15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sun. & Mon.].
Dance
Thunderbird American Indian Dance Pow-Wow is "happening" today at American Indian Community House, 404 Lafayette St. (betw. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-598-0100; 8-11.
SUNDAY 10/27
Cabaret
"I'm Back" Ellie Dorino returns w/Nan Butcher on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 3, $10 min.
"Hey, That's My Cake! Version 2.0" Vinnie Costa & Tom Privitere bake up an upgrade to their delicious night of song & dance feat. layers of Liza & Barbra?for those 21 & over only please; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 7, $12 & 2 drink min.
"A Lovely Night" Maureen Kelley & Tom Stewart w/Dick Gallagher on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 5:30, $10 min.
Isaac Mizrahi Designer extraordinaire?yep, that Isaac Mizrahi?tries his hand at singing w/the Ben Waltzer quintet & if you've ever seen his TV series you'll know he's not half bad; Joseph Papp Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), info 212-539-8778, tkts. 212-239-6200; 9:30, $20.
"Places, Please! Act II: More Songs of Francesca Blumenthal" feat. Marnie Baumer, Michael Moratta, Jaymie Meyer & Diana Templeton w/Wes McAfee on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.
Comedy
The Sickest Fucking Stories I Ever Heard Asaf Ronen hosts an unscripted poker game (played for real money) feat. sick & twisted banter that only emerges from behind a hand of cards; Rififi, 332 E. 11th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-677-1027; 7, $8.
Monday 10/28
Cabaret
Leer Mondays Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita (the Lounge-O-Leers) impress w/retro hits via synthesizer; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10, $10 min.
"Morgan Sills Sings the Roger Edens Songbook" feat. Oscar-nominated songs incl. "Pass That Peace Pipe" & "Our Love Affair" w/musical direction by Ed Goldschneider; Danny's Skylight Room, 346 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-265-8133, 9:15, $15 & $10 min.
"Unexpressed?" Joan Curto w/Dan Stetzel on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 18th & 19th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min. [repeats Tues.].
Comedy
Eating It: Comedy w/No Standards Jon Benjamin & Jon Glasser (Dr. Katz) host eclectic cult comedy feat. Mike Birbiglia, Allison Castillo, Craig Baldo, Eddie Brill, Terry Tuff, Shauna Lane, D.C. Benny & Betsy Salkind; Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323; 8, $7 incl. free drink.
Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Kevin Brennan, Godfrey, Robert Kelly & Lisa Lampanelli; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Tues.].
TUESDAY 10/29
Comedy
Dead MEAT: A Halloween Spectacular All-female sketch comedy troupe, MEAT, brings you raw cuts of hilarity; Caroline's on Broadway, 1626 B'way (betw. 49th & 50th Sts.), 212-757-4100; 7, $3 & 2 drink min.
The Shecky Eichman Show More than mere comedy, it's an experience. Or at least "real" reality tv, thanks to the hidden cameras! Tonight, Shecky interviews Seth Herzog's mother & comedian Neal Brennan; Siberia, 356 W. 40th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), www.sheckyeichman.com; 8, free.
Paul Wagner's Comics Roundtable Video-interactive comedy show w/sketch, stand-up & mock commercials from Paul Wagner, Becky Veduccio, Dan Nainan, Mike Trupiano, Al Del Bene, Greg Contreras, Michelle Buteau, Amy Garson, John McCullough, Mark Jablonski & Sal Barone; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 9, $7.
THEATER
Performance times follow the paper's publishing schedule. (Weds.-Tues.). Call theater for complete schedule.
IN PREVIEWS/OPENINGS
Dance of the Vampires Michael Crawford stars as 19th-century vampire Count Von Krolock in musical adaptation of Roman Polanski's film The Fearless Vampire Killers; Minskoff Theatre, 200 W. 45th St. (B'way), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, $25-$95 [opens 11/21].
Debbie Does Dallas Coming-of-age story based on the film of the same name feat. original music & new cheers, but they keep their clothes on; Jane Street Theatre, 113 Jane St. (betw. Washington St. & 10th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Thurs., Mon. & Tues. at 8, Fri. at 8 & 10:30, Sat. at 7 & 10, $30-$35 [opens 10/29].
Dracula Under the Table Ensemble Theatre pres. new adaptation of horrifying Bram Stoker classic; Chasama Theatre, 135 W. 42nd St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 718-907-0819; Weds., Mon. & Tues. at 8, free-$12, $10 st. [opens 10/28, through 11/20].
Hollywood Arms Moving comedy written by Carol Burnett & daughter Carrie Hamilton, based on Burnett's 1986 memoirs; Cort Theatre, 138 W. 48th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, $15-$75 [opens 10/31].
Like a Springsteen Song Exceptional love story interwoven w/songs by the Boss; Blue Heron Arts Center, 123 E. 24th St. (betw. Park Ave. S. & Lexington Ave.), 212-330-6554; Tues. at 8, $15 [opens 10/31, through 11/21].
The Shanghai Gesture Playwright Joanna Chan revisits John Colton's melodrama that hasn't been seen in NY for nearly 75 years?incl. scenes deleted from 1941 movie version; Bank St. Theater, 155 Bank St. (betw. West & Washington Sts.), 212-561-9635; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [opens 10/27, through 11/17].
Yentl Robert Kalfin directs this first-ever Yiddish-language adaptation of romantic folktale about a rabbi's daughter who dresses as a man to study at Yeshiva; 344 W. 36th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-213-2120; Weds. at 2 & 7, Thurs. & Tues. at 7, Sat. at 8, Sun. at 2 & 5:30, $45 [opens 10/27, through 12/29].
JUST OPENED
Amour Musical love story set in Paris during the 50s w/score by Michel Legrand; Music Box Theatre, 239 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$85.
Antony & Cleopatra Odyssey Theatre Ensemble fittingly performs Shakespeare's classic tale in a converted 1910 bathhouse; the Brooklyn Lyceum, 227 4th Ave. (betw. President & Union Sts.), Park Slope, 866-GOWANUS; Thurs.-Sat. at 7:30, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 10/27].
Antony & Cleopatra Frank Cwiklik's retelling of the Shakespeare classic set in mythical mob-run 60s Las Vegas; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. at 7:30, mat. Sun. at 5, $20, $10 st./s.c. [through 11/3].
As You Like It Luna Repertory Co. pres. Brian Rhinehart directing William Shakespeare's classic tale of love healing wounds set in the Renaissance w/an original score by David R. Homan; Wings Theatre Co., 154 Christopher St. (betw. Greenwich & Washington Sts.), 212-627-2961, Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, Sun. at 3:30 & 7, $19 [through 11/2].
Bartenders Louis Mustillo characterizes six men who've made careers out of slinging drinks; Phil Bosakowski Theater, 354 W. 45th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, mat. Sun. at 3, $35.
The Bedsitter Three sorostitutes are tricked during one-act thriller set on Halloween night; Raw Space, 543 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Sat. at 9, Mon. 8, $15 [through 11/3].
Betty Rules Musical traces lives of female-fronted rock band; Zipper Theater, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Thurs. & Tues. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 5, $29.90-$44.90.
Blessing in Disguise Larry Pellegrini's musical comedy begins at the end of WWIII when it's every drag queen for herself; the Times Square Theatre, 675 8th Ave. (betw. 42nd & 43rd Sts.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sat at 5, $55.
Bumping Umbrellas One-hour voyage into the lives of three strangers who, unlike you, aren't afraid to indulge; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; call for times, $10 & 2 drink min. [through 11/17].
Bunny Lake is Missing Dan Spurgeon directs this suspense mystery about a lost three-year-old girl who may have never existed?based on Evelyn Piper's 1957 novel of the same name; Common Basis Theatre, 750 8th Ave. (46th St.), 212-414-5420; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 10/27].
Burn This James Houghton directs Catherine Keener, Edward Norton, Ty Burrell & Dallas Roberts in a "turbulent & funny play" about four New Yorkers overcoming their "deepest fears and doubts" after an unexpected death occurs; Union Sq. Theater, 100 E. 17th St. (Park Ave. S.), 212-505-0700; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30-$65 [through 11/3].
The Charity that Began at Home Debut of St. John Hankin's comedy about the results of a family who pretend they're Mother Theresa; Mint Theater, 311 W. 43rd St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-315-0231; Weds. & Thurs. at 7, Fri. & Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. 2, $35 [through 10/27].
Cheat Women's Project & Productions' 25th season opens w/Julie Jensen's domestic tale of romance at end of WWII; Women's Project Theatre, 424 W. 55th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $12-$39 [through 11/3].
Clown Brain Amusing look at how Dick's "comic mind digests life and reinterprets it as comedy," staged by vaudevillian troupe, the New York Goofs; the Flea Theater, 41 White St. (betw. Church St. & B'way), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Fri. at 9:30, Sat. at 7 & 9:30, mat. Sun. at 2, $20 [through 11/17].
Curve Nicholas Devine plays five characters during evening of monologues; Pelican Theater, 750 8th Ave. (46th St.), 212-206-1515; Tues. at 8, $15 [through 11/23].
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde "Original" production by Jules Tasca, filled w/"dark secrets and sexual longings"?sounds like the book to us; American Theatre of Actors, 314 W. 54th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-388-2508; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $12 [through 11/3].
Endpapers Inner workings of publishing house are revealed when founder/CEO announces his retirement?and from what we've read, the script by Thomas McCormack (former editor at St. Martin's Press) is dead on; Variety Arts Theatre, 110 3rd Ave. (betw. 13th & 14th Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45-$65 [through 10/27].
The Exonerated Bob Balaban directs Jessica Blank & Erik Jensen's controversial drama based on interviews w/falsely imprisoned death row inmates, found innocent & freed; 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, Sun. at 3 & 7, $55.
Flower Drum Song Story based on the novel by C.Y. Lee about a Chinese woman who moves to San Francisco & must deal w/Americanization; Virginia Theater, 245 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, $65-$95.
Hairspray Musical based on John Waters' film about a plump girl's attempts to racially integrate teen dance show; Neil Simon Theater, 250 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$95.
Happy Days Joseph Chaikin directs 41st anniversary of Samuel Beckett's comedy about marriage; Cherry Lane Theater, 38 Commerce St. (Bleecker St.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45 [through 10/27].
Hopscotch: The New York Sex Comedies Rotating cast portrays single New Yorkers looking for a shag; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds. at 8 & 10, $15 [through 11/6].
The Insanity of Mary Girard George Adams directs Lanie Robertson's creepy tale based on the true story of 1970 Philadelphia wife who was imprisoned after her husband accused her of lunacy; Raw Space, 543 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Sat. at 6, Sun. at 8:30, Tues. at 5:30, $15 [through 11/3].
The Ketchup Commercial Jeff Stevens' black comedy about a man who must choose between acting & drug dealing while trying to handle his porn-star boyfriend; the Independent Theatre, 52A W. 8th St. (betw. 6th Ave. & MacDougal St.), 212-206-1515; Weds., Thurs. & Sat. at 8, Fri. at 8 & 10, Mon. at 7, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 11/2].
Little Ham Musical love story based on Langston Hughes play set during 1930's Harlem Renaissance; John Houseman Theater, 450 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65.
Love, Janis Homage to the first lady of rock incorporates 19 of her songs & all of her hits; the Village Theater, 158 Bleecker St. (betw. Sullivan & Thompson Sts.), 212-307-4100; call for times, $45-$100.
A Man of No Importance Musical based on film from 1994 about a middle-aged Dublin bus conductor whose real passion is theater. His life takes a turn when he wants to produce Oscar Wilde's Salome; Mitzi E. Newhouse Theater at Lincoln Center, 150 W. 65th St. (betw. B'way & Amsterdam Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $65 [through 12/29].
The Mayor's Limo Joe Corcoran & Mark Nassar, producer & co-creator of Tony N' Tina's Wedding, pres. new production about homeless man taking a leak on guess what? Yup, the mayor's stretch. Starring The Sopranos' Sharon Angela; Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $45 [through 12/29].
Monogamy (fidelity that is!) Two middle-aged sisters put their rivalry to rest & share stories of the their intimate encounters w/men; Thalia Spanish Theatre, 41-17 Greenpoint Ave. (42nd St.), Sunnyside, Queens, 718-729-3880; Thurs. at 8, mat. Sat. at 3; $25, $22 st./s.c. [through 11/10].
Namesake Festival Doppelgang Productions' second season w/13 short plays incl. Philip Cuomo's "Hermes' Mother: A Masque," Dori Appel's "Monkeyshines" & Malachy Walsh's "Really?"; Flamboyan Theater, Clemente Soto Vélez Cultural Center, 107 Suffolk St. (betw. Rivington & Delancey Sts.), 212-851-8915; Weds.-Sat. at 7, mat. Sat. at 4, $15, $10 st./s.c. [through 10/26].
News in Revue Musical parody satirizing everyone from "the shrub" (aka George W. Bush) to the Catholic Church; Babalu Night Club, 323 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; Sat. at 8, Mon. at 5, mat. Sun. at 3, $45 [through 11/3].
A Photograph: Lovers in Motion Group of African-American friends search for love & identity; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sun. at 7, $20 [through 11/3].
The Porno Jim Show Jim & his sexy assistant Bex explore hardcore porn to improve your sex life?adults only!; Chashama, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 877-BINDLES; Thurs. at 9, $10 [through 10/31].
Potty Mouth David Gautschy directs Andy Horwitz's mostly-true tales of queer sex in the city; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St., 2nd fl. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-673-4182; Fri. at 12 a.m., $10 [through 10/25].
The Prince and the Pauper Mark Twain's novel about a man & his doppelganger set to music; Lamb's Theater, 130 W. 44th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds., Fri., Sat. & Mon. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2:30, Sun. at 3, $40-$60.
The Pumpkin Pie Show Theater, literature & music compete in storytelling war; Red Room, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-206-1515; Fri. & Sat. at 10:30, $15, $10 st./s.c. [through 11/2].
Qué Buene Amiga Es Mi Suegra (How Good My Mother-In-Law Is) Thirty-fifth Repertorio Español season continues w/Franklin Domínguez's audience favorite about a mother-in-law trying to save her daughter's marriage while falling for two men; Gramercy Arts Theater, 138 E. 27th St. (betw. Lexington & 3rd Aves.), 212-889-2850; Thurs. at 7, Fri. at 8, Sat. at 3, Sun. at 3 & 6, $25-$40 [through 10/27].
The Rites of Arbola Wesley Apfel directs Richard Morell's drama feat. recovering alcoholic who fakes a relapse to get his boyfriend back; Raw Space, 543 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Fri. at 8:30, mat. Sat. at 1, $15 [through 11/2].
Say Goodnight Gracie Frank Gorshin plays George Burns, taking you on a guided tour of the famed performer's life, incl. his unlikely marriage to Gracie Allen; Helen Hayes Theatre, 240 W. 44th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$65.
7 1/2 Habits of Highly Effective Mistresses Lisa Faith Phillips' one-woman show uses songs, self-help lectures & a riding crop to share the habits w/you; Cornelia Street Cafe Downstairs, 29 Cornelia St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 4th Sts.), 212-505-7227; Thurs. at 7, $14 & $6 min. [through 10/24].
She Stoops to Conquer or The Mistakes of a Night Oliver Goldsmith's satire of English class structure; Theater 80, 80 St. Marks Pl. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-598-9802; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Weds., Thurs., Sat. & Sun. at 2, $30-$40 [through 11/10].
A Soldier's Death New drama by Tom O'Neil (Jack Kerouac: Last Call) documenting what the title suggests; 13th St. Rep, 50 W. 13th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-675-6677; Thurs.-Sat. at 7, $15, $10 st. [through 1/11].
Take Me Out chronicles the effects one ballplayer's sexual preference has on his team & fans; Joseph Papp Public Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $55 [through 11/24].
The Tell-Tale Heart-Mobster Style Adaptation/modernization by Ricardo Cordero; Raw Space, 543 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Fri. at 9, Sat. at 7, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 11/3].
3 O'Clock in Brooklyn Margarett Perry directs Israela Margalit's comedy that traces six relationships w/five possibilities, but resulting in four heartbreaks; Access Theater, 380 B'way (Walker St.), 212-206-1515; Thurs.-Sat. & Mon. at 8 [through 11/2].
The Tragedy of Frankenstein New reworking of Mary Shelley's classic horror story, styled after the Greek drama; Looking Glass Theater, 422 W. 57th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-769-8153; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15 [through 11/9].
The Water Coolers Thomas Michael Allen's musical comedy laughs at corporate America & what it takes to get by; Dillon's, 245 W. 54th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 3 & 7, $65.
What Happened Was? Steven McElroy directs Tom Noonan's reworked love story feat. two men searching for love, on an awkward first date; Paradise Theater, 64 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-613-5796; Thurs. & Fri. at 8, Sat. at 8 & 10, Sun. at 7:30, $20 [through 11/3].
Woyzeck Nightmarish fable about a boy who sells his body for scientist experimentation w/music & lyrics by Tom Waits & Kathleen Brennan; BAM's Harvey Theater, 651 Fulton St. (betw. Rockwell & Ashland Pl.), Fort Greene, 718-636-4100; Tues. at 7:30, $30-$80 [through 11/16].
Young Playwrights Festival Twenty-first annual showing of the best plays submitted; Cherry Lane Theater, Alternative Space, 38 Commerce St. (Bleecker St.), 212-279-4200, www.youngplaywrights.org for sched.; $12-$30 [through 10/26].