Spike Scores a Goooaaalll!; Ain't the Taint Grand?; Gangsing Up on Seitz; More Churlishness; More...

Spike Vrusho's article about U.S. soccer players was entertaining ("New York City," 1/29). He hit upon some truths: yes, Buckeye football is more annoying than organized religion. U.S. soccer players are earning respect in the most competitive leagues in the world. Soccer is the world's sport, unlike the faux "World" Series. Perhaps most importantly, I'm glad that someone recognizes Giant Stadium as the awful venue that it is. Give me a modern soccer-specific stadium in New York that I can ride the subway to, rather than some football palace in the swamplands of New Jersey.

David Barkhymer, Manhattan

Eureka

I actually did recover my purse several weeks ago ("New York City," 1/29). I had left it in a taxi before going into Grand Central; I had a large shopping bag with me and I took that instead. Horrified, I chased after the cab, but it was gone. I talked to two policemen who told me to call the taxi and limo office. Frantic and exhausted, I decided to take the express train to Greenwich, which left right away. I had some change left from the taxi, which I had stuffed in my coat pocket. The nice train conductor accepted the amount, which was less than the normal fare. By the time I got home, used the secret key in my garage and paid the local cab driver with a check, there was already a message on my answering machine telling me someone had turned in my purse, with the wallet, credit cards and camera. I picked it up the next day, thanked everyone and vowed to be more careful. They did not know who had turned it in. So, sometimes the lost and found does work.

Janet Klion, Greenwich, CT

'Tis

Renee French's "The Taint" comic is marvelous. Thank you.

Arthur Penn, Manhattan

Bowl-Job for Heimlich

Adam Heimlich's review of Beef Bowl restaurants in NYC had a glaring inaccuracy ("Food," 1/29). He claimed that "Last spring's opening of the first American Yoshinoya, near Times Square, made international business headlines." Has Heimlich been to Los Angeles, in say, the past 20 years? There are Yoshinoya Beef Bowl's every five feet. They're everywhere, even at Dodger Stadium. I kid you not.

I am outraged that New York Press could let such a horrible factual error hit the newsstands. I really counted on a higher caliber of journalism and due diligence in checking your facts. Shame on you, New York Press, and God Save Yoshinoya and their efficient meals in a bowl.

Jerod Gunsberg, Brooklyn

The Littlest Maz

MUGGER: Where's the Bosox commentary been? I know the hot stove has been pretty damn cold, but a critique of the moves or lack thereof would be nice to see. My weekly Millionaire-Mail-Masthead-MUGGER check has been a bit less exciting lately. It makes me miss checking for spelling errors in the Crossroads ad. Also, nice letter from Anita Mann ("The Mail," 1/22). Hopefully Harry Setatestes will be writing in the near future. Viva Agliata! Keep it real.

B. Mazmanian, Boston

That's Right, Billy, Nobody Knows More About New York History Than You

That Matt Zoller Seitz would call Miramax and Scorsese "gutsy" ("Film," 1/29) for producing the ridiculous Gangs of New York to make the shallow points that American character is rooted in tribal brutality, that all groups are gangs and that when a "leader claims to be acting for the common good, watch out," is both laughable and eye-opening.

I've read four novels on the same period and subject, all of which were far more coherent, historically accurate and therefore more interesting than the movie?as well as any number of nonfiction accounts. Plotting a decent story line around the wrenching events of our emerging and progressive national character would have lessons for all. Instead, Scorsese's film is no more than a costume drama, brutal, wildly inaccurate and, worst of all, a huge bore.

The eye-opening part is that if Seitz can actually find insights into the American character in this mess, maybe I finally understand the nitwit political statements coming from the ex-waiters who make up the Hollywood elite. These people actually get their cultural and historical knowledge only from movies. As has been said in many ways, those who don't read history are doomed to have Hollywood write it for them.

William B. Huber, Manhattan

We Believe MUGGER Would Say "Yes"

MUGGER: You wrote that Anthony Lewis "can't resist the urge to march in lockstep with his former colleagues in the jihad against the current president" (1/29). Is his behavior any different from the lockstep lemmings who support Bush's jihad and curse mightily at the unpatriotic vermin who don't fall to their knees in adoration of the burning Bush? Get a life. It all depends on what side of the bread your point of view is buttered.

R. Belongie, Fort Lauderdale, FL

Why, You Interested?

Did you new assholes shitcan William Repsher too? Nice cover illustration last week. Is Kathryn Rathke a third-grader?

Mark Duffy, Manhattan

The editor replies: Repsher ain't been shitcanned.

P Fresh

It was good to see so many letters about art and graphics in New York Press ("The Mail," 1/29)?I for one am glad to see that hideous pixilated "P" done away with! But I still long for the old Puck-era "Metal Blade" logo with the green P. Since underground comics and art were such a big part of the Press' early days, it is good to see them both making a comeback. I was also happy to see Wartella's work back in the mix this week ("Picks")?frozen urine is quite a concept. I remember his comic strip with fondness. Actually, all the new comics are a welcome change...but Carol Lay ("Story Minute," 1/29)? Please, I thought we had all made it through that dreck long ago. Anyway, to make it short and sweet, please give your loyal readers more comics, and more of the artists who made the Press so memorable to begin with.

Jim Oniponte, Queens

Thanks

No, no, no: thank you, Armond White, for illustrating my point ("The Mail," 1/29) about the inability of certain critics to find anything enlightening to say about the work of Stanley Kubrick. I did not mean to hurt White's feelings by not commenting on "the human and social issues of City of God," but, rather, as a devout Kubrick fan, was hoping that an intelligent critic like White could elaborate upon the comments in his City of God review and enlighten me as to what, precisely, he finds so offensive about Kubrick's work. Instead, White decided to completely sidestep the issue and insult me. I?and your other readers?can only assume he chose this line of action because he has, in fact, nothing intelligent to say about Kubrick, and is incapable of defending his own opinions. I had always perceived White as a critic who was intensely concerned with the filmic education of his readers. I can only express severe disappointment to learn that this is not the case.

Matthew E. Goldenberg, Manhattan

Pearls of Wisdom

Okay, how should I start? But then how would I end? I'll just sum it up in one word. Fabulous! Your newspaper is fabulous! There hasn't been one article I didn't love reading or one cover that has not caught my attention. Keep up the good work.

Pearl Odu, Manhattan

$3 Million, Plus Points

MUGGER: The whole war in Iraq is just advertising. What makes it so effective is that the ads appear as "news stories." Who could resist? The actors include George Bush playing George Bush, the relaxed but serious president from Texas (equally at home on the golf links or rolling out the tanks), and a cartoon stand-in for a character named Saddam Hussein (this image is manipulated with computer graphics). The villain character is along the same lines as the one in the movie just before this one, the character named Osama bin Laden. Osama bin Laden's character had a beard and a wicked little smile, while the Saddam character has a beard, a heavy unsmiling face, kind of in the Josef Stalin mode. The talented, behind-the-scenes artists who have created these villain characters for us used to work for Lucasfilm. They're very good! The actor named Hans Blix held out for a very high price (undisclosed). When it comes out in the gossip columns, it will be interesting to learn how much he was paid!

Michael R. Marantz, Jamaica, VT

The Franklin Johnson Letter

Let's take a closer look at George Bush's Iraq war plans through an historical prism:

The U.S. aided and abetted the Iran/Iraq war by selling guns to both sides. In 1990, Bush's father (then president and former CIA director) lured Saddam Hussein into raiding Kuwait. Bush Sr. used this pretext to destroy most of the monstrous murder machine Saddam bought from us. CIA manuals, used by Afghan/Arab terrorists, were compiled at a University of Nebraska program funded by USAID. Bush Jr. planned for a second Iraq war before he was selected president. Bush Jr., the CIA and the FBI knew of an imminent assault on the U.S. before Sept. 11, but did nothing to stop it. The anthrax envelope attacks were a "black bag" attempt to link Hussein to the Sept. 11 bombings. Bush Jr. has delayed and/or obstructed every legitimate Sept. 11 investigation. Bush Jr. has closed off access to information regarding his preparation for war on Iraq. Bush Jr. has ignored the massive peace demonstrations in America and around the world. The Bushes, the bin Laden family and the CIA have close relations, even to this day. Fifteen of the 19 Arab terrorists were Saudis, not Afghans. So, why did Bush bomb Afghanistan? Osama bin Laden and Sept. 11 were used in a "bait-and-switch" ploy to spark Bush's Iraq war sequel. Occupying Iraq and most of the Middle East is a rationale for our bloated $370 billion defense budget. Iraq has been destroyed already. A second war would only annihilate the Iraqi people, not Hussein.

Based on the above information, Bush's Iraq war would clearly be a crime against humanity. It couldn't be classified otherwise. There's no doubt Iraq is defenseless. After a dozen years of bombings, inspections and a crushing embargo, the facts speak for themselves. George W. Bush has yet to justify another round of death and destruction in Iraq.

The very planning for another Iraq war should be considered a crime against humanity. Bush's incessant saber-rattling in the global media is nothing more than psychological warfare and mass torture of the Iraqi people. If George Bush were the president of any other country, he'd be dragged promptly before the World Court as a craven criminal and purveyor of crimes against humanity. In fact, the evidence suggests his father should be indicted for these heinous offenses, as well.

George W. Bush has no case for another war on Iraq. However, the consequences for such adventurism are simply catastrophic. The possibility of unleashing an unstoppable nuclear cataclysm should freeze the happy trigger finger of any reasonable leader. Mr. Bush doesn't appear rattled by this Armageddon scenario. On the contrary, it seems the more people protest his irrational war plans, the more he pushes for their execution.

A second Iraq war would be a crime against humanity. If Mr. Bush succeeds in his mad quest, he would expose himself to indictment as a war criminal. Already undergoing universal condemnation, America might suffer expulsion from many international trade and finance agreements. Even if the conflict didn't ignite World War III, the prospect of global chaos would certainly light the fuse.

No one would benefit from another Iraq war. Many nations disdain America for attempting a Middle Eastern oil coup at everyone else's expense. The hypocrisy of our sinister democratic agenda for the Arab people is so obvious it would be laughable if circumstances weren't so serious.

Recent reports revealed George Bush approved the preemptive use of nuclear weapons in the Middle East and future military strikes. This is an insanely immoral policy on its face. Even if Mr. Bush received global support to use atomic weapons on Iraq, killing millions of innocent civilians, who would buy all the irradiated oil? In this case, the war would come home in a most unexpected way.

Somehow, many Americans and George W. Bush are comfortable with the use of depleted uranium (DU) weapons on the poor people in Yugoslavia, Afghanistan and Iraq. Despite the "depleted" moniker, this material has a half-life measured in the millions of years. When DU weapons are used to contaminate whole nations for millennia, these are, indeed, crimes against humanity. The leaders of America and England should be hauled before the World Court for these evil deeds.

The Bushes and their corrupt supporters had it all figured out: they would assume power by manipulating and stimulating global conflict. As a result, they'd be able to financially fortify the World War Industry and their campaign contributors. The constant raiding of the U.S. treasury to bankroll endless war, all the time, is the ultimate crime against humanity and both Bushes should be indicted for this conspiracy.

George W. Bush and his mafia administration are the worst racketeers to gain power in American history. The atrocities enumerated in this writing are sufficient grounds to indict George Bush and his father for crimes against humanity. If the president plunges our nation into war, the electorate should quickly demand a referendum to extradite George W. Bush to the World Court or the International Criminal Court for prosecution.

Extreme circumstances require extreme remedial measures. George W. Bush mustn't be permitted to embark on his ridiculous crusade of injustice. The clock of history beats onward relentlessly as American hearts grow heavier by the day. George W. Bush's reign of terror must be terminated?the sooner, the better. Let's hope and pray the end will be merciful and democratically induced.

Franklin L. Johnson, Manhattan

Skirting the Issue

MUGGER: Do you fancy yourself a real writer? In your silly tirade over Anthony Lewis' review of Bob Woodward's book (1/29), you write like a typical, tired conservative hack. What exactly makes Lewis an "effete" former New York Times op-ed writer? According to Merriam-Webster OnLine, effete means, among other things, "effeminate." Hmmm. How cliche, MUGGER. You attack a liberal journalist by labeling him effeminate?a blatantly homophobic tactic?instead of simply judging him on the merit of his work. And this, despite the fact that your brother was gay. You should be ashamed. Now that you've sold your paper down the river, I wonder how you'll spend your "waning years." Gosh, maybe you'll do us all a favor and scurry away once you realize nobody gives a shit about what you think.

Todd Hunt, Manhattan

That's Why They Call Them Tribunals "Secret"

MUGGER: I am growing more and more tired of the yammering left and their complaints of the loss of civil liberties in these United States of America. I live in the central United States and, more specifically, central Texas. I have looked under every rock and behind every tree and have yet to find a single solitary soul who has had his civil liberties diminished one iota. I have yet to see any jackbooted police, secret "G" men or plainclothes members of some nefarious gestapo interfere with the lives of anyone in my community or in my state. Please refer me to some place where I can observe the loss of civil liberties so loudly acclaimed by the plaintiff civil libertarians. I need to get out more and maybe I'll run into Susan Sarandon, George Clooney or Babs Streisand. Perhaps they would be willing to autograph my bowling shirt.

Tracy Meadows, Brenham, TX

Dueling Asslickers

MUGGER: Who says Frum isn't properly selfless before the magnificent Dubya (1/29)? Schriving Safire and craven Keller duel to see who can get their heads farther up Bush's ass. In two years this maladroit doofus has turned the largest surplus in this country's history into its largest deficit with his brilliant tax policy. He's produced the largest trade deficit, a huge stock market drop, thrown the pension guarantee system into deficit, gutted the Social Security surplus, trashed the currency, weakened the economy, thrown 1.2 million people out of work and given us the specter of unending war. All the slick p.r. men from Madison Avenue to Houston and back can keep the stupid off this cipher. All the "straight talk, Texas walk" country lawyer cornpone can't hide the silly sight of the dumb pretending to be dumb. Snap out of it, MUGGER. You're better than this.

Peter H. Edmiston, Manhattan

MUGGER Does Like His Pastrami...

Russ Smith's love affair with the Washington Post, the Washington version of the rancid New York Post, continues (1/29). Fellow chickenhawks share your pain, Russ. The urge to kill is driving you crazy. Iraq has not proven it has weapons of mass destruction. The U.S. has not proven Iraq has weapons of mass destruction. What's a Dr. Strangelove like you to do? I know you would love to be the editor of the New York Times. You would rename it the "Russ Smith Tribeca Times" in honor of your elitist neighborhood. You would demand we carpet-bomb Iraq starting right now, to make sure you and Ariel Sharon can nosh in safety at your nearest deli. Did anyone ever tell you the capital of the United States is Washington, DC? Not Tel Aviv? And that damn "old Europe"! To think that they might know more about what's right for the world than that supreme intellectual George Bush. Well, I suggest you head to Israel right now to serve as a human shield. I'll help pay for your ticket.

Larry Deyab, Brooklyn

Blackie-Balled

MUGGER: You telling Paul Krugman how to write an informed policy column is sort of like Gary Apple telling Chris Berman how to do a football highlight show. MUGGER, please. Your obsession with him underscores, bolds and italicizes what's already obvious: Krugman is an economics professor at Princeton who's earned his audience and supports his positions with hard-won facts and expertise in his field; you've bought your media access with personals and pornography ads (not that there's anything wrong with that), but misspent your elusive 15 minutes with 50-inch columns of weekend reveries, media gossip and Meet the Press recaps, leaving you increasingly, well, technically, I guess, only completely, irrelevant. Ungrateful to this unique and generous society, which allows someone like you through its counterintuitive accidents, to make money, eat Chinese food and play with words in exchange for nothing of value in return, you've based your entire worldview on the very subtle idea of begrudging it taxes (even if this means leaping into decadent deficit spending).

When someone like Krugman comes along, whose interests lie beyond where he, Krugman Jr. and Mrs. K will be vacationing this year, step aside and let your betters do their work while you refashion old Yankee insults into new, ingenious ways of not getting attention by misfiring slingshots at Maureen Dowd.

A long, long time ago you set out to provide an alternative to the Village Voice. But when it hasn't simply been a print version of really bad AM radio, New York Press has been more comparable to New York with a few forced downtown references thrown in for street cred.

If you really have absolutely no interest in what's going on in the world, take your buyout money, shut up and get the fuck out.

Blackie Ritter, Brooklyn

Dubya's Laughing

The coalition to liberate Iraq has the support of the Kurdish people, already in place in Iraq. The coalition is also backed by the Iraqi National Congress, composed of accomplished, ethnically diverse and respected leaders in exile. Getting rid of Saddam is the cherished wish of virtually all Iraqis at all levels of society, though the ones shoved in front of cameras for photo-ops with "peace activists" can only smile and pretend, lest their family be slaughtered by Saddam's Republican Guard.

I remember when the liberation of a fascistic, kleptocratic dictatorship by diverse indigenous forces and exiles, with the help of a superpower, was once the epitome of social justice to the left. Unfortunately, with the brave exception of the intellectually honest Christopher Hitchens and a handful of others, you'll never hear the left talk about the fighting Kurdish heroes, the Iraqi National Congress or other native liberation forces. As they howl inane cliches about American racism, they willfully ignore Iraqi natives who blame Saddam Hussein alone for ruining the country they love, want him gone now and are ready to pay the price.

No, instead of listening to courageous Iraqis, the elitist left looks with obeisance to white Europeans for prefabricated opinions to match their prefabricated "No Iraq War" signs. Irony is still very much alive after Sept. 11. But when it comes to racism and ignorance, it just isn't funny at all.

Michael Modes, Seattle