Comedy variety show w/changing theme, "Volume 13: M" feat. humorous readings from a fictitious encyclopedia; Barrio, 99 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.), 212-533-9212; Tues. at 8, $5 contrib.
BON BOCK
Three one-act plays deal w/drink, drugs & self destruction. Put on your happy face; The Red Room, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-539-7686 or www.httheater.org; Thurs., Fri. & Sat. at 8, $15.
THE CARMEN MOFONGO SHOW
Spanglish variety show, this week's theme: "Latin Explosion." It's like understanding telemundo!; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-330-7681 or www.surfreality.org; Sat. at 10, $10.
THE DIRTY MATRIX
In a neutered future, who will save humanity from a world without smut? Find out at Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-591-2149 or www.surfreality.org; Fri. at 12, $6, incl. 1 beer & after party.
EATING IT
Comedy-driven variety show at Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323 or www.eatingit.net; Mon. at 8, $7, incl. free drink.
FACEBOYZ OPEN MIC
Everyone has an ten-minute time limit at weekly open mic, hosted by bald & bisexual art-star Faceboy; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-330-6856 or www.surfreality.org; Sun. at 8, sign-up at 7:45, $3.
FOUR NOTES & A BLENDER
Kooky comedy sketches about marital mix-ups; Altered Stages, 212 W. 29th St., 2nd fl. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.); 212-712-7003 or www.newavenue.org for res.; Thurs., Fri. & Sat. at 8, $15 [through 6/2].
THE FLYING QUEENS
A festival of perverts feat. geriatric mimes, dirty therapists & a pissed off UPS worker; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-636-9203 or www.surfreality.org; Fri. at 10, $10 [through 5/25].
FUNNY...SHEESH
Improv comedy game show w/audience participation & prizes; Sidewalk, 94 Ave. A (6th St.), 212-473-7373; Sun. at 7:30, 2 drink min.
THE GAY PIMP VS. EMINEM
Jonny McGovern (gay pimp) pits himself against national treasure Marshall Mathers in MTV spoof; Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-591-2149, Weds. at 10:30, $12.
GERSHWIN HOTEL
"The Louis A. Smaldone II Jazz Trio" (Weds. at 9:30); Patrick Borelli hosts "Great Free Comedy," night of stand-up, improv & sketch (Thurs. at 9:30); "The Laffeteria" (Fri. at 10); The 10:17 Comedy Night (Sat. at 10) "Mr. Monday Comedy Show" w/Deke Haylon (Mon. at 8); The Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-447-6466; most shows are free.
GUIDE TO HEALTH & LIFE
In this one-man multimedia show, Jason Stella brings to life the stuff that mental hygiene films are made of; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-696-6615; Thurs. at 10, $5.
HIGH FIFE
Sketches, improv, audio & video blend to create new brand of comedy; Freaks Local 413, 413 W. 44th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-981-9384; Thurs. at 8:30, $5.
KA-BAAM
Improv actors team up w/comic book writers to create characters based on audience suggestions; The Metropolitan Playhouse, 220 E. 4th (betw. Aves. A & B) 212-995-5302; Tues. at 8, $10 [through 5/22].
MISTER RALPHS' NEIGHBORHOOD
Visit Abe Lincoln's Def Jam Set & Mr. Roger's sweatshop in this dark comedy feat. talent from The Upright Citizens Brigade & MTV; St. Mark's Theater, 94 St. Mark's Pl. (betw. 1st Ave. & Ave. A), 212-502-0318; Sat. at 10:30, $12, $10 st./s.c. [through 6/9]
SMUT FEST
A perverted fantasy feat. (among other things) Bex's breast puppets & the band Split Me Wide Open; True, 28 E. 23rd St. (B'way), 212-982-9263; Fri. at 8, $5.
SOME OF MY PARTS
Party girl Pat Galante tells all in her one-woman comedy show; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; Weds. at 7, $12 & 2 drink min.
THE TENTH FLOOR SKETCH COMEDY GROUP
Politically incorrect humor w/a colorful cast of characters incl. The Armless Nazi & Korean Bodega Man; El Flamingo, 547 W. 21st St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-243-2121; Thurs. at 10, call for price.
THEATERSPORTS
Freestyle Repertory Theater pres. improv comedy at The Trilogy Theater, 341 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 323-595-3258; Sun. at 7, $5 [through 6/17].
THESE ARE ROCKETSHIP PEOPLE
New series of sketches from NYC comedy group "Naked Babies" feat. weed developed by Gulf War scientists; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176 or www.uprightcitizens.org for info; Fri. at 8, $5 [through 5/25].
TOAST
Sketch comedy w/performers trained at the UCB Theater, Freaks Local 413, 413 W. 44th St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-946-1827; Fri. at 10:30, $5, incl. a Dixie cup of champagne (& you can't beat that).
THE UNUSUAL SUSPECTS
The troupe is back w/their latest improv creation; the Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 718-284-3120 for info; Sat. at 8:30, $8.
UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE
A plethora of events from some of the strangest, sanest people around feat. "The Sarian Show" (Weds. at 8); "Manson Roast" & "Mr. A$$" (Weds. at 9:30); "Harold Night" (Thurs. at 7, 8 & 9:30); "Cagematch" (Thurs. at 11); "Naked Babies: These Are Rocketship People" (Fri. at 8); "The Swarm" (Fri. at 10); "When Amish Attack" (Fri. at 12 a.m.); "Cagematch" (Sat. at 8); "Feature Feature" (Sat. at 10); "Talk Show" (Sat. at 11:30); "Asssscat 3000" (Sun. at 7:30 & 9:30); "Eddie the Sequel" (Mon. at 8); "Kathie Lee & The Legion of Good Meet Ricky Martin & The Loca Power Team" (Mon. at 9:30); "Riot Nrrrd" (Tues. at 8); "The Third Degree" (Tues. at 9:30); Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176 or www.uprightcitizens.org for info; most performances $5.
WHITE MEAT
Uni-racial comedy welcomes you into the world of the aged frat boy Bush-era white male; The Red Room, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-517-1709 or www.httheater.org; Thurs. at 10:30, $15.
WHITE TRASH FAMILY FEUD
Improv troupe "Scrambled Eggs" serves up a spoof on the classic gameshow, wait a minute?how is this different from the normal Family Feud?; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-460-1813 or www.surfreality.org; Weds. at 7:30, $8.