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Sign Up? He's Running It

J.R. Taylor's piece concerning his coverage of a music journalist's seminar ("Music," 5/28) would have been enlightening had the article not been soaked in his own bitterness and self-righteousness. It seems his own disbelief at the career path he has traveled has blurred his vision. It's interesting that Taylor attended the seminar disguised as an aspiring writer. It seems his eavesdropping on Halperin's panel reveals his intentions prior to her speaking one word. I suggest he sign up for the "Jaded and Passionless Writers" seminar being held next month.

C. Duritz, Philadelphia

Attempted Irony Is No Excuse, Fred

I wholeheartedly enjoyed?and for the most part, completely agreed with?J.R. Taylor's feature about how to be a rock hack/industry shill ("Music," 5/28). And the snipes at Magnet magazine, where I work as associate editor, were only marginally off-base. But I must point out an FYI: One of the Magnet quotes?"I've seen the future of rock 'n roll, and it is Brooklyn's Mink Lungs"?used as an example of bad writing, was pulled way out of context. While the Mink Lungs' label has the quote adorning stickers on the front of their new album (and I'm sure that's where Taylor spotted the quote), in my original review, it was clearly used as an ironic/joke tagline?something any music fan or critic familiar with the classic Bruce Springsteen hype/quote from the 70s will recognize. Call it the "Free Bird" of rock writing.

Fred Mills, Asheville, NC

Napalm Burns

Matt Taibbi: A kinda long note with a very curious ending. In high school I had the opportunity to shake the hand of Richard Nixon. We were skipping school and on our way to Galveston to go surfing when we were forced onto a side street by police and told the highway, Nasa Road 1, was closed until the president passed through. We parked and waited. Sure enough, the limo came sulking down the road and would you believe it, it stopped directly across from where we were parked!

Oddly, it stopped at a spot where there was no one to step up to the car and welcome the president. I quickly walked across the road and approached the car just as Richard Nixon was getting out. I was the first and only person standing next to the car when he got out, a 15-year-old with very long blond hair, in a bathing suit and skipping school.

Nixon got out of the car and, having no one else present, approached me directly, put out his hand and said cheerily, "Why aren't you in school?" I shook his hand and said nervously, "I came to see my president." He smiled, wished me well and then was completely overcome with reporters and other "adults" pressing in to greet him. I simply walked away.

The point of this story is something that has puzzled me ever since, and it has been 30 years. President Nixon looked very odd. His skin looked like wax, and he was animated in a way that didn't seem natural. But the most bizarre thing of all was that he had tiny yellow bb-sized balls stuck all over his face. They looked like small pollen balls; they were stuck to his skin and were literally all over his face. It was the strangest thing I have ever seen. As I shook his hand and looked into his face, I felt as though I was looking at a costumed cartoon character at DisneyLand. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about? Was it makeup? Was he a lizard in fake human skin? Was the marijuana I had been smoking blurring my vision? What was that stuff? Maybe it was anti-acid neutralizer?

Will Blalock, Brazoria, TX

Yanking for Cherries

Bill Bennett's gambling actually explains his promulgation of bizarre fake statistics ("The Gist," 5/14). He just can't do the math. After all, anyone who can drop $8 million on the slots probably can't (or won't) even balance his checkbook; statistics gathered from a selective reading of death notices probably make perfect sense to him. Or perhaps Bennett is just a compulsive masturbator, and yanking a slot machine is just a substitution activity. Let's keep watching; if that perennial menacing scowl turns into a secretive smile we'll know.

Joseph Dougherty, Ann Arbor

All the Crap That's Fit to Print

Matt Taibbi: Brilliant piece about the Jayson Blair "scandal" and its connotations ("Cage Match," 5/28), and thanks for exposing the general hypocrisy surrounding this case and its treatment by the media. More articulate people than myself have pointed out that there are a number of journalists at the New York Times who should get the same treatment as Jayson Blair (Judith Miller, anyone?). Thanks also for the piece about Tom Friedman (5/14). I just read his latest column in the Times. Am I reading satire? Is he for real?

Helga Fremlin, Melbourne, Australia

Packaged

MUGGER: Priceless, absolutely priceless! These clowns are either apoplectic or secretly salivating with penis envy (MUGGER, 5/28). Holy cow, will somebody get a grip (no pun intended)? To focus on Bush's basket lends credence to their slavish approbation of Bill's cigar-dipping antics in the Oval Office. Richard Goldstein and Andrew Sullivan will just have to accept that fortune favors some dudes more than others. I'd love to be six-five, not five-eight. Just because God appears not to have forgotten, does not necessarily mean it's stuffed with cotton! Please, I can't stand more of this crap. Anyway, great job.

Robert de Jong, Vineland, NJ

Hopeless

Man, I hope that one day I'm as cool and hip as Jim Knipfel ("Daily Billboard," 5/29). Pity me, cause I've always laughed and enjoyed Bob Hope's material, shows, movies, work?you name it. When I see the love?back and forth?from his USO shows I'm moved. Hey Jim, here's a secret: Those millions of GIs would've went to see just him, his written material, cue cards and even Les Brown. The fact that Hope was smart enough to bring the hot babes just shows how astute an entertainer the man was. You wanna see the king of all media? He's in Toluca Lake, CA celebrating (with much of the world, pal) his 100th birthday.

Billy Sottile, Lancaster, CA

Bill and Mimi, Sittin' in a Tree

With all the letter writers who praise or bemoan the work and character of your contributors, it's surprising and sobering that not one has pointed out the fact that a few weeks or months or whenever ago, your theater critic Mimi Kramer changed her byline to Mimi Kramer-Bryk. Which I have to assume means she became wedded to your excellent historian, William Bryk. Which means that, snide and sardonic as the Press may often be, romance bloomed within its premises, and two of its stalwarts found kinship and love. I mean, it's sweet. Somebody should remark on it, so?now it's been done.

Norman Chandler, Cos Cob, CT

Montevideo's Revenge

MUGGER: Enjoyed your "Baltimore Days and Haze" article (Mugger, 5/21) as I do every one of your weekly installments. I am an immigrant from Uruguay who arrived in 1971 and Baltimore was my first American city until 1977. Loved it, even though it was very scarred from the riots back then. Loved the Orioles and never cared about football after the Colts left and took their name.

Adolfo G. Fabregat, Blythewood, SC

Who's Kidding Who?

MUGGER: The left just can't stand it that the attempted theft of the Florida vote condoned by the corrupt and ignore-the-state-law Florida Supreme Court had to be stopped by the U.S. Supreme Court. Also, they can't stand being out-politicked by a man they consider to be so stupid. I think it is fine that they let their hatred of W. lead them to shoot themselves in the foot. Of course, getting a C at Yale in earlier days required some intelligence. Even though I do not always agree with my alma mater, I don't think his getting an MBA from the Harvard Business School was a legacy in affirmative action. Besides, didn't Al Gore flunk out of the Vanderbilt Divinity School?

Donald W. Bales, Kingsport, TN

Hello, East Stroudsburg!

Brad Franklin, East Stroudsburg, PA