SHES UP AGAINST Linnea, Brinke or Michelle, but Misty Mundae ...
That's because Misty Mundae is the star of dopey sex-crazed parodies like The Lord of the G-Strings, Play-Mate of the Apes, and Spiderbabe?the last of which has brought Misty to the Pioneer Theater for tonight's showing. It's a rare chance to see Misty on the big screen. Or maybe not, if you own a large-screen tv that could easily match the size of the one at the Pioneer.
Anyway, it's no big deal to Misty. Screaming Dead played at the Pioneer last month, and that wasn't a big deal, either. I've spoken to idiot dames who've copped a major attitude after starring in amateur snuff videos, so Misty's amiable tone is a real relief. In fact, she's less of a shameless fake than her interviewer, who lazily tries to suggest that her Spiderbabe outfit looked kinda professional.
"You think so?" she replies. "I put it together the night before. They'd hired a costume designer to kind of create this very super-heroine-esque monstrosity, and it didn't exactly pan out. The guy just flaked. I didn't really like what he was doing anyway, so that worked out okay for me, because then it was left on my shoulders. So the outfit is really just odds and ends from my personal wardrobe: 'Well, I can use this?and this?and, yeah, accessorize!'"
Misty's no-budget scene requires gals who can think quick in a crisis. Spiderbabe is the seventh of 13 productions that Misty's made this year for the Seduction Cinema line, starting with Dr. Jekyll and Mistress Hyde. That includes some additional writing and directing duties on Lustful Addiction and Confessions of a Natural Beauty?the title of which explains why it's easy to spot Misty among all the other starlets of the Seduction Cinema line.
Spiderbabe's a typically fun shot-on-video production, with the Seduction trademark of ludicrous blue-screened special effects. The film's also been dolled up in a deluxe two-disc DVD package with R and unrated versions?but don't ask Misty about the difference between the two. "Not my department," she notes. "Besides, I always fast-forward through the sex scenes."
This means, of course, that Misty has never seen more than half of her actual screen work. Her films, so to speak, are always padded with plenty of extreme softcore action, with a healthy emphasis on lesbian antics. (Spiderbabe's worth owning just for the wrestling scene.) And since everything's shot on video, there's an immediacy you don't get in those Emmanuelle movies.
Also, it means that nobody needed a permit to shoot in Times Square, since the filmmakers didn't use a tripod. "Yeah," says Misty, "but I think it was pretty obvious that we were a film crew. So many times, I was told, 'Okay, Misty, if anyone asks, you're doing your school project.' I'm, like, 'Yeah, this is my student film, and I've got 10 crew members all in their 30s. Whatever you say, guys.'"
Sadly, Misty still relies on the same fanbase that reads magazines like Draculina and keeps sex workers maintaining their Wonder Woman outfits. Jenna Jameson looks to have a better chance of breaking out into the mainstream. It's a shame, too, because you only have to be ashamed to be a Misty Mundae fan for as long as it takes your friends to see her perform. She's amazing as either a Throbbit or a lesbian gladiator?not that she's really willing to believe it.
"I'm the toughest critic on myself," she explains. "I'm a tough critic on everyone else, too, but if I'm funny, I promise that it's accidental. Maybe it's my sarcasm. I'm just trying to be totally factitious when I'm saying this stuff. If that somehow turns into comedy, then good?but I'm just being a smart ass, you know?"
[jrt@nypress.com](mailto:jrt@nypress.com)