SF's Finest Digs MUGGER; Rall's a Prick; Synchronicitous "First Person"; Loving the Grubman Coverage and "Old Smoke"; Liking the Queer Christian Scientists; More

MUGGER: I have been an avid reader of your column since I found New York Press online. As opposed to pinheads like Frank Rich, you live a real life with real family members who interact with the world in normal ways. You may be more well-off than some, but this is certainly nothing to be embarrassed by. And of course you do produce something: your weekly column that so entertains me.

I am a police officer in San Francisco, the city in which I was born and which I love. Though it is occupied by huge numbers of assorted freaks imported from less tolerant locales, I can still find my childhood friends; hidden, fog-shrouded ball diamonds; and the spectacular views that entertained and inspired me growing up.

I am usually tolerant of the many transplants that changed the city where I was born in 1957. The legendary Haight/Ashbury that so changed youth culture wasn't so much of a cultural shift as it was an entertaining freak show, one with very untidy side effects that linger to this day. My grandparents lived in a flat at Haight and Masonic, and I was astounded to see the people who invaded the neighborhood where I had been allowed to play with my brothers and sisters. They universally stunk and the world was their bathroom?they would piss and shit with abandon anywhere and anytime they pleased. This was so foreign to me I felt like I had been transported to a version of Calcutta inhabited by deranged white people. Only the occasional glimpses of unencumbered breasts viewed through tattered tie-dyed t-shirts kept me out on the street despite the repulsiveness of the urine and excrement.

I put up with the same problem today as a police officer. It is simply astounding to me how many people consider it their God-given right to relieve themselves wherever, whenever and in front of whomever they please. I visited Paris recently and found the sidewalk dogshit problem unfitting for a world capital, but would exchange it any day for the effluence that covers the streets of SF.

As a police officer and a citizen, the behavior I am surrounded by every day is a far cry from the manners and common courtesy I was taught at home and the by the Sisters of St. John the Evangelist on Marsily St. I have become more reflective lately and am starting to write down some memories, observations and rants that pop into my head. Please continue to write your column and let me know how your kids are doing, the state of the Big Apple and, of course, your feelings on the fortunes of the Red Sox. My favorite overtime gig now is Pac Bell Park. Regardless of who is playing, or how poorly, I can't believe I get paid to go to baseball games.

Tomorrow I am having three couples over for a backyard bbq. I went to grammar school and high school with them. That is what makes life grand for me.

Officer Jim Kelly, San Francisco

Prick and Asshole

Once again, a hideous distortion of events by the eternal asshole Ted Rall ("The Mail," 7/11). Rall, you are so hungry for battles and enemies that you have to reinterpret everything as us vs. them. The only good fight is anybody vs. you, Ted Rall, you prick.

Tony Millionaire, Los Angeles

Hookin' Up

There is nowhere on Earth where one can read the breadth of writing one finds at nypress.com. However, the synchronicity of the "First Person" essays this week (7/11) was a complete hoot.

My personal feeling is that the free-but-burdened Josh Max should take up the cause of sick, sad Nkomo Morris and rehabilitate her to sexual and emotional health. I'm sure it would piss off Kristen to see Josh driving in a fast car with a babe who looks like the "commotion" girls from the Mitsubishi commercial?a little drunk, a little horny and very, very satisfied.

Frank Turk, Pittsburgh

MUGGER's Deliverance

How dare Alexander Cockburn imply that the editors think his environmental topics bore the readers ("Wild Justice, 7/4). MUGGER has won "Worst Thing about New York Press" in something like the last 11 Best of Manhattan Readers' Polls! He is the most boring writer in America today, and even his own patrons agree. (Except for some mutants in the high hills of Appalachia.) Cockburn could talk about mowing his lawn and it would be more interesting than MUGGER.

John Freckner, Brooklyn, NY

Cockburn's One for the Ages

Alexander Cockburn, I thought your article was brilliant. You seem to realize (as so very few writers do) that our politics is being borne along on a green, slimy stream of corruption that is just very politically correct. Please keep on writing in this same vein?I do not believe that Russ is stupid, he's just uninformed. I'm sorry about Bush, too, as I had judged him to be a quick learner. But at 85 years of age I've been wrong before. Thanks for your article, and by the way, I love your sense of humor.

Hester Nichols, Dewey, OK

Grubman and "Old Smoke"

I've been loving the "coverage" of the Grubman affair on your online "Daily Billboard." It's nice to see so many of your staff enjoying themselves over this temper tantrum from an overgrown brat. Man, my ma used to slap my sister over such behavior (okay, my sister didn't try to run down people in an SUV, but she did try to impose her will without consideration for others).

On a different subject, William Bryk's "Old Smoke" columns really need to be collected for a single book. I've ripped out several of his stories, notably the one on the penny (5/9), but I can't find where I put the clippings. I know I can read many of them at nypress.com, but that doesn't have the permanence that a book sitting on my shelf does. "Old Smoke" is the best feature in the entire paper, though I do enjoy Cockburn's essays and "Taki's Top Drawer."

Mary Pat Campbell, Flushing

Just Unfunny

If J.R. Taylor is going to pad his music piece (7/11) with sub-Proustian maunderings that have nothing to do with music, then he ought at least to get his facts right. The actor James Karen was never known as "the Safeway Man." Mr. Karen was and continues to be known in cult-movie circles as "the Pathmark Man" because, when not acting in low-budget psychotronic movies, he starred in a long-running series of tv commercials for Pathmark supermarkets.

Additionally, if mlteague's comic strip "Blender Kitty" is trying to find some new, hip, ironic, cutting-edge, postmodernist way to be unfunny, it has failed dismally. It's just unfunny. It is well-drawn and well-inked, but that only calls attention to its utter crapitude.

Fergus Gwynplaine MacIntyre, Glasgow, Scotland

Knipfel, Stand Up for Yourself!

Jim Knipfel: That was an amusing story about the guy in the bar in Coney Island ("Slackjaw," 7/11). But you should've just told him, "I don't go for old guys," instead of letting him make you uncomfortable. You also could've told the bartender that you live in Brooklyn, you're a writer, you work in Manhattan, sometimes you like imported beer. What do you have to be ashamed about? Don't let these bums push you around.

John Arnold, Kenai, AK

Andruw Cuomo

MUGGER: Your take on the Cuomo family was entirely too benign (7/11). Mario Cuomo is a pedantic asshole, and his purported connection with the game of baseball gives the game a bad name. Anytime I see Mario as a talking head on a talk show it's enough to make me run and get my 34-inch Louisville Model 271 and try to knock a line drive down his pie hole. Give the Cuomo family their unconditional release...

Tracy Meadows, Brenham, TX

And a Sarsaparilla for the Boys

MUGGER: Your 7/11 column reminded me of our latest vacation to Ocean City, MD (I know, nothing so exotic as Bermuda), and our day trip over to Frontierland. It was like going back to the 1960s: all kinds of toy revolvers, shotguns, cap guns, knives, moccasins, cowboy hats, etc., were for sale. My five-year-old son had a field day. We also took the train ride and were delighted when we were held up by "bandits." One of the bad guys pretended to try to kiss my 12-year-old daughter, who was mortified. I thought it was hysterical and refreshingly non-p.c. They have a daily act with a sheriff who thwarts bad guys who try to rob the bank; pony rides; an Indian village where Native Americans perform ceremonial dances; and a water slide where your family can cool off. I highly recommend it, although it is not a sophisticated vacation stop. I enjoy reading your column. Keep up the good work.

Teresa Wilkins, Millersville, MD

Strong Language

MUGGER: You motherfucker. How can you look your kids in the eye? Pick up a penny and become an "honorary kike" (7/4)? I have a brother, whom I no longer speak to, who still uses the word nigger and justifies it by saying, "Well, all the niggers call each other niggah. Why can't I?" I say, you can't because it is a despicable word and ought not to be used. I thought Lenny Bruce had killed the "N" word and the "K" word, but I guess I'm wrong. Some people will go to any lengths to get attention and this time you've outdone yourself and shown your true colors.

Danny Dries, Manhattan

Russ Smith replies: This is another correspondent who doesn't take the time to read an article in context. Once again, for those who skipped the rudiments of grade school education, the segment of the column Dries refers to was satire, in reaction to Jimmy Breslin, a liberal hero, slurring the entire continent of Australia.

Was It the "Queer"?

Although the title of John Strausbaugh's article on Christian Science made me upset at first, I read it with an open mind ("Healed: They're Here. They're Queer. They're Christian Scientists. Get Used to It" 7/4). I found it somewhat fair. As a 21-year-old brought up in Christian Science I have seen what I think is a more liberal approach to the religion. I feel as though many of my peers who are Christian Scientists are accepting of people of any sexual orientation. I understand this to be an extremely difficult topic in any church.

One thing in the article that did make me a bit unhappy was the discounting of the healings. When submitting a healing to one of the CS periodicals, one must also submit a letter from someone who witnessed the healing. I can assure you these are real experiences. Again, thank you for addressing this issue. It is nice to see a fair-minded attempt at explaining the religion.

Claire Rosebush, Washington, DC

Chapter & Verse

I appreciate that John Strausbaugh was willing to show as much skepticism about those who did not give credit to Christian Science's healing power as he did toward the practitioners of the faith. I also appreciated one of the better descriptions out there of how prayer and healing are understood in Christian Science. We don't "lay on" hands, and prayer is not a begging, but an active practice best described in the first chapter of Science and Health. By the way, this is not, as incorrectly stated by Strausbaugh, the Christian Science "Bible." It is a companion to the Bible and based on the Bible. It does not replace it.

S. Switzer-Kohler, Brooklyn

It's a Natural High

Did you guys give Armond White Prozac or something? The last two weeks ("Film," 7/4 and 7/11) he actually liked the movies he reviewed.

Kyle Sturhann, Brooklyn

A.I.-Yi-Yi

I feel a strong need to respond to Armond White's defense of A.I. ("Film," 7/4). His attack on critics (and, by extension, moviegoers) who do not share his opinion of the movie is both cowardly and unfair. Cowardly because he castigates critics in general without ever having the guts to name or quote any one in particular (J. Hoberman? David Denby? Andrew Sarris?). Unfair because he posits unremitting bad intent (or lack of taste or, oddly enough, terminal hipness) on the part of those with the effrontery to disagree with him. This used to be a favorite trick of Pauline Kael's, although she at least had the balls to name names.

Indeed, I found the entire piece a slavish imitation of Kael's work, without her smarts, her humor or her taste. Someone should also tell Mr. White that a true "esthete," which he clearly considers himself to be, would have the good sense not to quote himself in a review ("'It's the most amazing film I've ever seen!' slipped out of my mouth the other day." If anything else should slip out of Mr. White's mouth, I would prefer not to hear about it.) Regarding the movie itself, White's position seems to be that if it deals with Big Ideas, then Attention Must Be Paid (with apologies to Arthur Miller). Apparently, it matters not to him whether those ideas are developed with any degree of skill. It is not the Critics (or the Hollywood Establishment) who keeps Steven Spielberg from being an artist, as Mr. White claims; it is, rather, Spielberg himself.

Jonah Schwartz, Manhattan

A.I. + A.W. = P.U.

I disagree emphatically with Armond White that A. I. is "great art"; further, it annoys me that White suggests that the critics (and, presumably, other thinking filmgoers) who disliked the film are mere "Hollywood drones" and "hacks." How very condescending. The story of David the android-child is affecting and, for the first hour or so, strangely and austerely beautiful in the way that Kubrick's best work was. Unfortunately, it then turns into a Spielberg movie?cloying, didactic and mushy. I just couldn't buy it. Does that mean I'm a philistine? I suspect that in a few years' time White will reread this review and regret his overly enthusiastic praise. A.I., contrary to what White claims, is as Hollywood as it gets.

F. Angus, Vancouver, BC

Cheaper, Too

Armond White's second article on A.I. ("Film," 7/4) is the funniest thing I've read in months. The claim that watching this movie requires "an intelligent audience that doesn't simply groove to f/x but is sensitive to what imagery means" had me laughing even harder than the special DVD version of Dude, Where's My Car?

A.E. Anderson, East Rutherford, NJ

Sucks, But in an Arty Way

What Armond White doesn't seem to get is that there may be thoughtful, observant, people?people who do not partake of low-to-middlebrow culture with the enthusiasm that he attributes to them?people who appreciate films by Godard, Scorsese, Chaplin, etc.?genteel people who take time to appreciate symbols in movies?who are also people who thought that A.I. sucked! A.W., your blind loyalty to Spielberg has to come under some scrutiny?that's the true function of a critic.

Mark Mandarano, Long Beach, CA

Dog Tired

I'm surprised that Armond White thinks so highly of A.I. I appreciated his contrarian stance on Mission to Mars, which I liked and most critics were ambivalent about. But even with that film, I didn't think it was as great as Armond seemed to. A.I. doesn't add up to much?intellectually it doesn't satisfy and emotionally it's just saccharine. Most critics still think well of the film when it comes down to it?flawed but great filmmaking, problematic masterpiece, whatever. I think it ain't no good, period, and that Spielberg is overrated when it comes to serious issues. I really do value and enjoy the film criticism in New York Press (and the other contents, for that matter). But I think that Armond and Matt haven't quite made up for the loss of Godfrey Cheshire yet, though I know you must be tired of hearing that sentiment.

Virgil Chong, Manhattan

Matt's a Tired, Bitter Man

So you didn't print any anti-White letters in your print edition (save two lame ones), but you did print Matt Zoller Seitz's take ("Film," 7/11), which was much more bitter and nasty than I could've ever hoped to be. Thanks.

Tom Patterson, Brooklyn

Gaping and Sputtering

I really enjoy New York Press, and especially MUGGER. Sometimes the other columns are so outrageous, I gape and sputter and roll on the floor laughing. When you talk about your family, it's a special treat, MUGGER. And I love your knowledgeable and acerbic comments on the events of the day.

Peggy Whitcomb, Salem, OR

Russo File

MUGGER: I used to have my sons listen to PBS' NewsHour with Jim Lehrer with a globe. We later gave the globe and World Book to a very nice, poor boy, with instructions to listen to the NewsHour and look up names in the encyclopedia. He's now on the dean's list, at a nearby college. My friends would make such fun of me, but I now have fun adult kids who travel all over the world and know two languages fluently. So keep having fun and traveling with your children.

Nancy Brinkerhoff Russo, Red Hook

A Croat Agrees

Taki: Your most recent column regarding Slobodan Milosevic seems to have been written in great haste and with much passion ("Top Drawer," 7/11). I say this not as a criticism but rather because it shows you have deep feelings on the issue. While I do not agree with all your statements, you've hit the nail on the head with many of your points. As a Croatian I am certainly no apologist for Milosevic, but I feel no joy at his extradition to the Hague. In fact, I esteem him for the way he has stood up to this kangaroo court. The purpose of this court is not justice; rather, it exists for the express purpose of crushing national pride and destroying the sovereignty of nations. Bravo, sir, for speaking the truth. I commend your bravery.

Svibor Gamulin, Toronto

Hopping Glad

Congratulations, Taki, for such an insightful article ("Top Drawer," 7/11). We will be laughing out of the other sides of our mouths when one of our own heroic war figures from a future Kosovo or Mogadishu operation is indicted by the global kangaroo court.

A. Wheeler, San Francisco

Heads Up, Slobo

The arguments presented in your 7/11 issue by Taki and George Szamuely ("Top Drawer") are really nothing new. At the end of World War II the same arguments were presented against trying the leaders of Germany and Japan.

Milosevic has tried to deny the jurisdiction of the court that is trying him. In January 1649 a certain Charles Stuart tried this tactic with the High Court in London, which was trying him for his life on solidly grounded charges that he was a "tyrant, traitor, murderer and public enemy." When he refused to plead to this indictment, the court proceeded straight to the sentencing. Charles Stuart was beheaded on Jan. 30.

John Boardman, Brooklyn

Only in New York Press

MUGGER: I was just reading Cindy Adams' column and had an idea. Why don't you guys hire her? You could put her in that gay guy Taki's "Top Drawer" section. She's sleazy and vindictive enough to fit right in with you guys. In fact, now that I think about it, MUGGER, you're really sort of her equivalent. Anyway, keep up the good work. I really appreciate the honesty and fairness of your publication, even though you sometimes infuriate me.

Louis Cuisinier, Manhattan

Cheese Course

I found Andrey Slivka's take on Artisanal ("Food," 7/4) pretty harsh. He acknowledges the good food and plenty of space, but seemed to dwell on the crowd and noise. My wife and I dine out with the frequency of MUGGER and Mrs. M. and we really liked Artisanal, as did friends. I did notice some incongruous music, as mentioned by Slivka. I also enjoyed An American Place, which Slivka apparently didn't care for either, though I'll admit it was perhaps a bit "tired" by the end. As for Chanterelle, which Slivka preferred to Artisanal, I was a little disappointed the last two times I was there. Anyway, thought some of your readers might want to give Artisanal a try.

Hugh Shull, Manhattan

Smoke Til You Drop

Cabal's article on smoking was excellent and funny ("New York City," 7/4). It is a crock of shit and going to get worse. If people don't do something about all these Pollyannas wanting to ban everything under the sun, we might as well sit at home in straitjackets.

We live in a world that tempts and taunts us through advertising and stressful mayhem and then tries to eliminate all pleasure and pressure-relievers. The Rolling Stones said it well on "Ventilator Blues" off Exile on Main Street. Europeans think Americans are a little obsessed. The Italians think we are downright crazy. A longtime member of the Italian parliament proposed smoking restrictions in public areas and he was run out of office.

I'd add that you are paying too much for your American Spirits. I get the full flavor on the Web for $2.40.

Marco Romano, Delmar, NY

Oh, He's With the Program All Right

Alan Cabal needs to get with the marijuana/tobacco "parity" program. His resistance to antismoking policies is shortsighted. Every societal effort against unrestricted tobacco use will ultimately promote the end to the longtime and untenable prohibition against marijuana use. Think about it.

Kevin Smorntain, Manhattan

Taki and Jeeves in Africa

Gentlemen: I say, I was dead chuffed by your issue of July 11, a pleasing intellectual respite from our midsummer doldrums down here in the capital of the Confederacy. Your Mr. Scott McConnell was "right on" in his essay about the immigration problem in Britain. There was a time when an Englishman was an Englishman, and one immediately assessed the stature of a man by his accent and school tie. Those were the days of gentle manners and studied respect, when even the tradesmen with whom we all inevitably intersected were of proper deportment and earnest mien. The current unfortunate racial riots are not a result of immigration, however, but rather a failure to integrate those unfortunate people into the English way of life; and the situation is most assuredly, in my opinion, due to failed social policies of both the Labor and Tory organizations.

In Britain, as here in the States, self-esteem and aggressiveness have replaced humility and gentility to the grave detriment of civil intercourse. You Yanks had your first experience with this sort of social disruption when the Irish came to your shores in great numbers in the 19th century. If we had not vigourously discouraged their settlement in England, the character of our nation would have been degraded at a much earlier time.

Mr. Taki's remarks about the trial of Slobodan Milosevic also pleased. Taki seems to ripen by the year, and I've lately detected a sentimentality which will perhaps become quite endearing in the future. I was amused that he was agitated by the hypocrisy which governs political affairs, as he is a man of the world who has experienced much of its history. Incidentally, Taki and I were almost acquainted in the 50s. We were both familiars of the King of Botswana, who was a robust chap with many and varied interests. I had arrived at the palace on a sweltering day when not even the strong young boys who worked the fanning machines could furnish relief. I was in the company of my friend Smedley Rathbone and his charming young bride, and at the commencement of tiffin the King informed us that we had just missed a most entertaining and cosmopolitan visitor, a young man of Greek origin who seemed to be always engaged in the most improbable of adventures. Curiously, after hearing the young visitor's name, Lady Rathbone was overwhelmed by the vapours and had to be helped to her chambers. I was puzzled by this drama because I could not imagine her connection with any sort of adventurer. After an exquisitely rare port, Smedley and I paired off against the King on his perfect croquet lawn, where he trounced us with his efficient game. The next morning we had some uneventful shooting in the royal preserve, followed by a robust English breakfast. Lady Rathbone joined us and ate with all the vigour and enjoyment of a healthy English girl. She served us tea in the shade of the verandah, and entertained us with sparkling gaiety and vivacious wit. Taki's name was not mentioned again.

John Carroll, Richmond, VA

The Power of Art

I hope you will pass on to Carol Iannone my delight in reading an article about the Middle East that began and ended with splendid allusions to Benito Cereno and Rosemary's Baby ("Taki's Top Drawer," 7/4). She showed how understanding art can bring clarity and depth to political discussions that usually are obscure and superficial.

Iannone correctly points out that the refusal or inability of many to see evil in current real situations is mirrored by their responses to movies or literature. In that regard, I recently helped my son?a senior in high school?with Conrad's Heart of Darkness. We read it out loud, just a few pages a night, then talked about it. Doing this allowed us to see just how amazing this story is, both in its style and in its relentless presentation of brilliant insight after brilliant insight. Each day my son would go back to school and hear the teacher tell the class how the story shows how the colonial white man oppressed and exploited and enslaved the innocent black man. Other than my son, the entire class believed this was a story about white racism.

Richard Hobby, Falmouth, ME

Border Patrol

Poor Scott McConnell, about to be deluged by the ringing condemnation of grad students, community "activists" and other rank-and-file members of the whining classes for his "Conformist" column on the English riots ("Taki's Top Drawer," 7/11). It's bad form, this business of believing what you see instead of what you're told. Citing Enoch Powell won't win McConnell any friends among the plastic-handcuff crowd, either. Good for him for recognizing the simplest of truths, i.e., you can only sweep so much shit under the carpet before you can't open your front door.

Lou Manzato, New Orleans

A Call to All Patriots

I disagree with the conclusion of Scott McConnell's recent article: "Poor little England, by contrast, has entered on this dolorous path entirely through its own folly." I think that Britain (like America) has been betrayed by its leaders, the socialist elite. The question is, "How do we get our country back without revolution?"

Joseph Baumie, Greer, SC

The Skinny on Phat

You know that hoo haa here is down with the Times' efforts to educate its boomer readership on the down and dirty slang used by the kids. So for that reason I must point out that Julie Salamon deserves no props when she be writing, "This summer's venue is described by the cast as a 'fat' (what used to be called 'cool') brownstone in Greenwich Village." I think many of us understand that "fat" should be "phat." Damn, y'all be stupid (in the old-school sense) at The New York Times. "Fat" is what your soccer mom audience chillin' up in Scarsdale spends five hours a week with her personal trainer to lose. If some Upper West Sider reads your article and writes to his precious at summer camp, "Samson, sounds like you're having one fat summer!" there's gonna be some serious hell to pay.

Name Withheld, via Internet

Over the Transom

Something for your "Daily Billboard," perhaps? The lead headline from nytimes.com at about 2:15 on Thursday, July 12: "U.S. Sets Missile Defense Plan, Threatening 1972 ABM Pact." How is this a newsflash that demands 20-point type? While I personally don't support rushing a missile defense plan into service right now (the preliminary tests suggest it will need further experiments extending far beyond the duration of the current administration before it can hope to be effective), this article/headline strikes me as the cheapest sort of scaremongering by the Times. If we had actually shot an incoming enemy missile out of the sky, that might deserve this kind of attention.

Matthew Holm, Queens

Bermuda Short

MUGGER: Loved your column this week (7/11). Love your traveling stories.

Lee Anthony Nieves, Bronx

He's Fiercely Independent

MUGGER: I have never understood how you can support tax cuts when defense spending remains the bulk of discretionary spending. If they reduced the national missile defense or eliminated the Air Force, we could save untold billions in time, money and resources.

Why don't you focus on government bloat instead of the lame idea of tax cuts? You'd have a wider audience...although I know you never aim to please. Just surprise us longtime readers once in a while.

Marc Safman, Long Island City

Hollies Hobby

MUGGER: To answer your question about the Hollies (7/4), they could and did top "Bus Stop." "Look Through Any Window" is the greatest pop song of all time.

Craig Caughman, San Jose

Now Gaze into My Eyes

MUGGER: Your president missed his true calling; he would be great as a fortune teller or medium. What an idiot! It must be getting difficult to defend him and pretend he is doing anything more than the minimum.

Jan Hutchinson, Tempe, AZ

Welcome Back

MUGGER: Glad you're back (7/4). I missed you and your great insight into the real world, where most of us live and work, unlike the Washington insiders who think as a group, or the silly people at the Times who think themselves the super-intellects of the USA.

Virginia Weicheld, Collegeville, PA

Greek's Chorus

Once again, Taki has cut through the murk and mire and produced a concise view on the sham trial that is taking place in the Hague ("Top Drawer," 7/11). His words may be crude by some people's standards, but not by mine. We need more like Taki, people who aren't intimidated by the "thought Nazis," aka "the politically correct." If Milosevic is to be tried, then Bill Clinton, Madeleine Albright and Tony Blair ought to be tried, too.

I find it bizarre that I, an American and a Vietnam veteran, would side with the Russians on this whole episode. Rambouillet was a sham and a pretense. There was no way that Milosevic could have ever participated in that "peace process." It was planned to fail, with the blame being assigned to Milosevic just so the U.S. could begin the bombing of Serbia, hence enabling the destruction of Milosevic and his military machine and in essence providing the Kosovar Albanians a world-class air force. It's hard to imagine having such dangerous and prevaricating rank amateurs in charge of so much firepower and manpower as Bill Clinton and Madeleine Albright possessed in Serbia. I love both Taki's stories from his past, and his takes on the present.

Vic Piaszik, Roselle, NJ

Not This World Cop

So, America is a "busybody bully" ("Top Drawer," 7/11)? Great. Tell you what, Taki, I'm sick to death of being a world cop, Balkans babysitter and recipient of bullshit tactics on the part of the media elite looking for a scapegoat. The media, by the way, was largely responsible for getting the U.S. involved in that quagmire to begin with. We were inundated with maudlin portraits of the "poor, oppressed" Bosnian Muslims being slaughtered by the big bad Serbs, when in reality Croats, Serbs and Bosnian Muslims have blood all over their hands. I spent a tour in Bosnia myself, and I can attest to the fact that we are wasting our time, soldiers, money and resources on a human sewer. But I have an idea: tell the pompous Eurotrash to take on sole responsibility. I'll be more than glad to see them take the blame for being a "bully."

SFC Cheryl McElroy, United States Army

Arches Nemesis

MUGGER: I, too, deplore the ridiculous amounts of money awarded careless people by juries (7/11). But, as I understand from some lawyers with information about the case, the award in the McDonald's case was due, for the most part, to the stupidity of McDonald's lawyers. After the elderly woman was burned by the coffee and treated for the burns on her thighs, she simply asked that McDonald's pay her doctor's bill (around $11,000, if I remember). McDonald's lawyers, even though they were right in their view that the accident was the woman's own fault, decided to offer $800. At that point, it became fairly easy for the woman's attorneys to portray McDonald's as an unfeeling, corporate giant that wouldn't even help a poor old lady with her doctor bills. In other words, the jury was punishing McDonald's not for brewing hot coffee, but for being so callous to such a sympathetic character.

Jim McCain, via Internet

Real Men Don't Play with Puppies

MUGGER: Your comments on G.W. Bush are right on (7/11). He is acting more and more like his father and mother in that he thinks being nice is going to keep him in office. As a senior citizen, I am not thrilled or impressed or delighted to watch the President and the First Lady coming off of Air Force One with "doggies" in their arms. Children and old people do that. I don't care if it's Fala, Checkers, Millie or Buddy.

I honestly believe that there is a scarcity of real men for that job. Rich, powerful and military men who are politicians do not give us leadership. As a Republican who was once a Democrat, I miss a man like Harry Truman; ordinary folks who have a strong background in responsibility. Somehow, rich guys are elected but they don't have the spine of the ordinary man. Then again, this might be because I come from a generation that sent 17-year-olds off to war, so-called teenagers who were men and came back better men.

Tess Tanamera, Reno, NV

Um, Thanks?

MUGGER: I read your column whenever it is available and I wanted to tell you that it is excellent. I wanted to give you some more information on Cheney's heart procedure. I am a registered nurse with an MBA and 10 years of experience in cardiac nursing and I have cared for many people who have undergone this procedure. The VP had implanted what is called an automated internal cardiac defibrillator. This device will deliver a shock to the heart if it goes into a lethal arrhythmia (typically ventricular tachycardia). It also has the ability to act as a pacemaker if the heart slows down too much.

If Frank Rich had checked his sources he would have discovered that both Medicare and Medicaid cover the cost of these devices, as well as the cost of installing them. I have cared for many indigent patients who have had AICDs put in over the years. For Rich to imply that only the wealthy can have these devices put in is ludicrous.

I am a Republican and I voted for Bush. In that light, what I am about to tell you may come as a shock. If you really want to save money and increase quality of care, the following is a must: serious consideration for some sort of universal healthcare?preferably through a legal monopoly with one private health insurance company. There are huge costs involved with billing literally thousands of individual health plans for the cost of care provided. On tort reform, it must happen. Every day more people die from medical errors than any other causes of premature death, combined. And that is just the reported errors?we have a system that encourages hiding errors.

Keep giving everyone in NYC their comeuppance and consider taking a vacation in North Carolina sometime. For a smug elitist Yankee who lives in New York and vacations in Mexico and Bermuda, you sure know how to write and you have great political sense.

Doug Sheppard, Wilmington, NC

How Is It Possible?

MUGGER: You're clearly one of the most gifted columnists I've read in some time. How can you be a conservative? You should use your talent to do something worthwhile and helpful. Doesn't it bother you that most conservative leaders, especially the ones in government, are complete morons? Is it more of a challenge for you to defend the conservative line? Bush could scarcely understand your strategy, much less successfully implement it (7/4). I think that one should participate in social movements in which one can be proud of the leaders. I know that your affiliation is your own personal business, but it just irks me when, every once in a while, I see someone with half a brain join ranks with the Republicans.

William Moffett, Tallahassee

Peters to Bush: Get Tough

MUGGER: No one would have the slightest suspicion that "W" and Lyndon Baines Johnson both came from Texas. With Tom Daschle, Chuck Schumer and Teddy (Chappaquiddick) Kennedy working against you, plus the should-be-ready-to-retire Repubs you have to contend with, you had better learn to get tough, or take some vocal karate lessons. What part of "NO" don't you understand? The votes lost by being tough will never threaten a reelection.

Charles Peters, Hays, KS

By Hook or Crook

RE Taki's column on Milosevic ("Top Drawer," 7/11). Mikhail Gorbachev and Jiang Zemin trot the globe to admiration and adulation. Never mind that these two individuals were/are at the helm of the most murderous regimes the planet has ever witnessed. Bill Clinton, too, killed innocent people to keep the news of his unchecked pecker under wraps and waged aggressive war. He trots the globe to admiration and adulation. As these three criminals enjoy their freedom, adulation and admiration, Milosevic sits in the docket of the illegal tribunal.

Justice? Yes, if one uses the bad joke that the definition of "justice" has become. Victor's justice, as you say, is all that's operational here. We now understand the real reason the international tribunal was created: the body exists simply to launder the crimes of the big fish against the smaller fish, punishing the smaller fish for their defiance and demonstrating that the big fish were right, after all. Pretty convenient. The message is clear to anyone who might want to retain his nation's sovereignty?do as we say or else we will destroy you. Evil is afoot, elections are rigged, the courts are packed and the cabal of tyrants the world over is determined to control the entire planet. The evil will encompass us all if not stopped now. It is time we in America demand honesty and justice, whether it takes pulling a lever or pulling a trigger.

Kirk A. Hayes, Ontario, OR

Yeltsin Wouldn't Stand a Chance

Taki: As usual, you do not disappoint. You are right that "Good Ol' Slobo" is getting railroaded. You are right that Yeltsin (who might drink you under the table) and Putin will never be punished for their perfidy. Most of your other charges are correct as well. So what? Slobo is being punished because he crapped in the salad and pissed in the soup bowl. He and his buddies in Croatia and Bosnia decided to carve themselves up a country while the carving was good. He correctly judged Bush the First to be a real uninformed wuss and had the then Undersecretary of State Larry Eagleberger's pecker in his pocket. Ol' Jim Baker was as useless as a tit on a boar. So Slobo set the ball rolling and would not listen to the gentle voice of reason.

When it comes to international justice we are in for a rough ride. It is never fair and equitable. It's not meant to be. It is our century's version of taking the defeated vermin and clapping them in chains and cutting their best parts off before we do away with them. It is hypocritical as hell but ever so much more civilized.

The purpose of shafting Slobo is the same reason that the IRS freezes your bank account and takes all the funds if you owe taxes and refuse to pay. It gets your attention. Petty tyrants need to be careful about how far they are willing to go. There are limits if you govern in Europe, old boy. The creation of Yugoslavia was one of Woodrow Wilson's more brainless ideas. Setting up the quasi-feudal Serbs to rule over Croats and Slovenes, not to mention Bosnians, Macedonians and Kosovar Albanians, has to go down in the record books as one of the stupidest ideas of the 20th century. Almost as stupid as electing some white trash from Arkansas to run the USA.

Slobo did nothing heroic. He was not fighting for Serbian rights or preservation of Serbian culture. His fight was a classic war of aggression?grabbing territory and letting loose mayhem. Remember, he bombed poor little Slovenia when it dared to leave the federation. Not many Serbs there. He sowed the seeds of destruction in Kosovo by destroying the carefully structured arrangement that Marshal Tito had put in place. He was no Tito. And he is definitely no Vaclav Havel. But Slobo is getting everything he deserves and probably wants. He will go down in the Serbian pantheon of crucified victims.

Rick Jones, Prague