Sex and Other Pets

The Pocket Rocket was my first vibrator; I named him Roberto. My first love; he wined, dined me, and showed me what it felt like to be cared for by another. I had him for three satisfying years 'till he started growing too loud to use. Since then there have been many others but they all pale in comparison. He was the perfect starter toy.

Simple in design, it's small, compact and um, carries a wallop. Throw it in your purse, pocket or carry it in your hand. The Juli Ashton 4" Pocket Rocket ($29.95), comes in white or pink and uses one AA battery for its single speed quiet motor. There's a ribbed, removable head that reveals three metal nubs. Other attachments include more nubs, feelers, and another rubber attachment. Give this to someone you care about.-RW

Toys in Babeland, 43 Mercer St., (212) 966-2120 94 Rivington St., (212) 375-1701 www.babeland.com

If you plan to linger under the mistletoe this year you might want to consider Playboy Beauty's new kissing gloss ($18). This stuff really stays on. No need to worry about being brazen at the holiday office party, and with a pepperminty flavor, nobody will smell the eggnog on your breath. Kissing gloss also makes a great gift for that particular someone who's always getting lipstick on your collar, or the annoying older female relative who has left lipstick marks on you since? ($34)-ARBL

Henri Bendel, 712 5th Ave (212) 247-1100, www.beauty.com, www.playboybeauty.com

Sexy lingerie might possibly be one of the greatest gifts ever, because both the recipient and the giver get something. Agent Provocateur is one the sexiest stores out there with all sorts of classy beautiful lacy items that have a touch of pin-up girl style smut. Seductive lacy garter belts start at $75.00 and thigh high fish net stockings are but $20.00 a pair. They also have a small variety of slips, camisoles and other nice little wearable treats that are sure to make all parties involved very content. Whether you're buying it for her or wearing it for him, it will surely be an appreciated and memorable gift.

Agent Provocateur

133 Mercer St.

-SS

Whether you're going to put a little sparkly item under the tree, or wear it for a holiday party, Jovani's sexy tops and dresses, are sophisticated, sexy and not stuffy. You don't have to relegate some of the pieces for night. The sequined, beaded, high neck top with keyhole neckline ($250.00) would look killer during the day with jeans. Thank god for the Victorian influence this fall, now you've got an excuse (like you need one) to wear this multicolored lace up corset ($400.00) with anything. We massively fell in love with the corset topped dress ($550.00). It made us feel a little bit Matrix, a little bit wicked fairy and very dangerous.

You can find Jovani at

Nicoletti 141 6th Avenue, (212) ? 956- 3389, Alana's 226 East 83rd Street, (212) 331-2991,

Adrienne's Fashion Studio 155 Orchard Street, (212) 475- 4206, Boutique Belle 1052 Lexington Avenue, (212) 734-4182, Lafayette ? 990 6th Ave. 1-800-6JOVANI.

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You can't forget pets during the holidays, trust me on this one, I didn't get a pet present last year and the owner is still pissed at me. Woozie Wear, named after Woozie, a perky little Yorkie; has cheerful rugby striped sweaters ($75), hooded raincoats ($75), matching tees for owner ($35) and pup ($35), and other cute items on their website, www.wooziewear.com . All items are made for dogs from 10 ? 16 inches. You can touch, fondle and buy Woozie Wear at

Zitomer's Zspot for Pets

967 Madison Avenue, 212-737-5560, Girl Shop, 819 Washington Street, bet' Little West 12th & Gaansevort, 212-255-4985 and Bloomingdales, 59th street.

A tiara pin for your dog ($40.00)? Purr-fect Wheat Grass ($9.00) for kitty? Or an Ulti-Mutt Canine Candy Bar ($5.00) Take a look at Shure Pets . Here you'll find everything from kitty shampoo (Paramount Itty Bitty Puppy Kitty Shampoo $10.00 for 17 oz) to socks for pet lovers (3 pairs for $30.00). There's even treats for horses!

www.shurepets.com

Just in time for the holiday boom of pets given by the irresponsible to the completely derelict, Petaholics is conveniently packaging their services into gift certificates. $75 buys you a week's worth of dog walking, and two hour-long training sessions can be purchased for $150, and that's not to mention the tremendous vote of confidence in the recipient that either one of these gifts represents. With a Petaholics gift certificate, you can not only ensure that a newly gifted house beast will receive the care and attention it deserves, but you can fight the flood of amateur dog walkers meandering obliviously about an otherwise orderly and productive city.