Riverside Park Goats Return to Wage War Against Invasive Plants

And the goats are baaaaa-ck! Everyone’s favorite four-legged— and four stomached!— chomp machines marked their annual return to Riverside Park with a competitive eating contest. Though only its second year, this already venerated event occured in a grassy field, just north of Riverside Park’s Ten Mile River Playground, on the bright sunny morning of Sunday July 19, a day later than expected, as the event was postponed from Saturday becaue of air quality and rain concerns.

If the schedule change seemed to dampen attendance somewhat as not everyone who planned to attend could rearrange their schedule, spirits will still high among Homo sapiens and Capra Hircus alike. Notable among the bipeds were Riverside Park Conservancy CEO Merritt Birnbaum, Upper West Side City Council Members Gale Brewer and Shaun Abreu, and the contest’s straw-boater clad emcee, George Shea. For the quadrupeds, there were the contestants Mallomar, Romeo and Big Buddy, as well as some guests from Green Goats of Rhinebeck, including three kids who, though rating high on the cuteness scale, were too young to compete at event of this magnitude.

Amusing as all this goatery surely was, including a corresponding sign contest, faced with the serious tast of removing invasive plants like poison ivy and mugwort from the park’s steep hillsides, these goats have no fear of ending up as an amuse-bouche on some would-be food influencer’s Instagram feed. Don’t laugh!

While many in attendance would rather hug a goat, wear a goat t-shirt or hat, or carry a goat tote bag, up there, in the wilds outside of Riverside Park, there do exist many people of many cultures who like to eat goats. Goat curry, goat oxtails, goat tacos, more. Because this was the morning of the World Cup final, Spain fans might have been thinking of Caldereta de Chivo, a traditional goat stew with roots in the mountain areas of Castilla-La Mancha and Extremadura, while partisans of Argentina may have swooned for Asado de chivo a la parrilla, a slow-cooked grilled goat recipe from the gaucho tradition.

Whatever one’s taste for goat flesh may or not be, it would have to wait.

Goats are Good Company

Somehow Merritt Birnbaum picked up on this unspoken theme, as she came to the podium to introduce the event and speak. “Even if Mother Nature made us wait an extra day, I think our four-legged competitors needed the extra day to sharpen their appetites... Today is one of my favorite days of the year, not just because the goats are adorable, but because I really think this event captures Riverside Park Conservancy’s spirit. The event itself is joyful, and it’s definitely quirky and unique, and it’s sustainable.”

Continuing, Birnbaum noted how the goats bring the community together. “This year we’re especially excited to welcome even more of our community by making this a bi-lingual celebration, so thank you to Luis Lopez who’s going to be providing translation today.” Birnbaum also thanked the event’s sponsors, Con Edison and Bloomberg Philanthropies, local politicians, the NYC Parks Department and the Conservancy staff and volunteers before turning the podium over to the solons.

Shaun Abreu spoke, as did the Gale Brewer, who thanked everyone, who supports the park while singling out John Herrold, the Riverside Park Conservancy’s Administrator, as the person who runs it day to day.

“These are the real GOATs. The head of the Knicks [Jalen Brunson] was okay but he ain’t no goat,” Brewer said. “And I just want to say when I heard him play, and I heard he was called GOAT, all I could think of was today, and Mallomar, and Big Buddy, and Romeo, and everybody else... I’m here like everybody else, to thank everyone who participates and supports Riverside Park, the goats being the stars.”

I love this park. Just like others I try to be supportive. We certainly have funding for the Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Monument, which is being restored as we speak, and the Dinosaur and River Run Playgrounds. We love this park and I think coming together today shows it in the most beautiful setting imaginable.”

“So, I’m here like everybody else,” the solon continued. “I don’t have any jokes about goats. Dan Gardonick used to have one after the other after the other after another. I don’t have any damn jokes about parks! Or goats! But I do know this a special day and as Shaun Abreu said, ‘May the best goat win!’”

As it happened, Mallomar retained his crown. For many, the highlight of the contest was the bilingual play-by-play, with the great George Shea amazingly echoed in Spanish by Luis Lopez. Not that there’s the least bit wrong with Shea’s carny-inspired style— he’s best known for hosting the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, after all—but the parallel stream of cabra en español made the proceedings that much more exciting.

Afterwards, Great Goat Graze-off attendees enjoyed the company of each other, and the martial sounds of the Marching Cobras of New York Marching Band.

The folowing day, on Monday June 20, Manhattan Borough President Brad Holyman-Sigal issued signed a Proclamation designating that date “Mallomar G.O.A.T. Appreciation Day.”

For though who couldn’t attend the Graze-off but wish to see the goats at work, their home tent is located in Riverside Park at around West 137th Street.