"IVE NEVER SEEN anything like this," says HarperCollins Senior Editor ...
Let's note, however, that New York Press photographer Hana Nakamura isn't one of the intrusive cameramen. This is because I've mistakenly sent her to Times Square instead of the Virgin Megastore at Union Square?proving, at last, that I have the brains to be a porn star.
The photographers get tossed out early, and the parade of Lords fans continues. As a veteran of many sci-fi and porn conventions, I can say with some authority that Lords?with her extensive genre filmography?is the ultimate diva for a fan culture that's dovetailed between those two obsessions. And she'll stay that way until Larry Wachowski's dominatrix is done with him.
I'm seeing a lot of familiar sweaty faces on line for Lords. She should also be garnering a Court TV crowd, since this new book further cements her role as the Sammy the Rat of the adult industry. This also explains the occasional proud feminist who'd heard Lords earlier on NPR.
And, typically, there's a big gay crowd. Gay men love Lords. "They've always been my strongest supporters," Lords will later explain. "They have the same sort of persecution of their sexuality that I had." And here some of us thought it was simply a celebration of decadence and kitsch.
But there's nothing kitschy going on when I arrive at Global 33 for Lords' subsequent book party. Jim Jarmusch is in the crowd, and the Music Machine is playing on the speakers. This alone makes it the coolest place I've been in ages. Things only get better when more paparazzi, lined up outside for Lords' arrival, get pelted with eggs just as the authoress emerges from her car. Nobody sees the assailant, but it's nice to think there may still be one angry riot grrrl out there.
In any case, it's fun to watch the parade of photogs storming into the restaurant in search of a sink. It's less fun to find that I end up crammed amongst them before finally making my way to Ms. Lords' fabulous corner table in the back, where I cleverly ask why nobody thought to contact Lords for a comment on Katharine Hepburn's death.
After patiently explaining that she didn't take her name from Hepburn's character in The Philadelphia Story?which, of course, I already knew?Lords still concedes that it wouldn't have been a bad idea for some hack to have called. "I see your point," she gracefully notes. "It would have made a good factoid."
Finally, a woman who understands my factoids.
Incidentally, if you ever want to feel stupid, try impressing Traci Lords with your own porn credentials. The underage starlet has us all beat, which is why she's one of the few anti-porn spokeswomen that even hipsters have to respect. "The only negative stuff I've heard about this book," says Lords, "is from people in the porn industry, because they're pissed off that I'm telling this story, and it shows that what they do is not really all that sexy."
Only Frank Rich would be stupid enough to think otherwise.
Still, Lords is a pretty confusing presence. She certainly seems like an intelligent lady who's absolutely sincere. She can also seem full of shit. It doesn't help that Lords, in best Pamela Des Barres style, is compelled to intersperse her talk of spiritual enlightenment with petty attacks on anybody who she feels has wronged her?i.e., everybody except her lawyer.
On the other hand, it's not Lords' fault that celebrity culture has become increasingly like porn culture. An irrational air of superiority is supposedly cool nowadays. Besides, who can judge her situation? Even as she takes on the porn industry, the DJ at the Virgin Megastore was promoting the book signing by "adult star and author Traci Lords." It'll take a lot of Sci Fi Channel appearances before that changes.