Pier wan.

Pier 116 116 Smith St., (betw. Dean & Pacific Sts.), 718-260-8900 The promise of Smith St.'s Pier 116 is that of a faux clam shack more authentically shack-like than Manhattan's faux clam shacks. The atmosphere is more casual, the prices are lower and more of the dishes are fried. Beer flows freer when there aren't 20 people waiting for your table, as there always are at Pearl Oyster Bar, despite that heaven-sent seafood restaurant's much-need expansion.

Prospective diners perceive these advantages when they stroll by, pausing to check out the window menu and peek at the dining room (a major?if not the definitive?Carroll Gardens activity). The restaurant has terrific German glassware for its tap beers. Every plate bears a mountain of fries. Bar specials like "Beer and a Bucket of Steamers" add detail to the festive scene. In case you don't get it, the headline of a proudly displayed Times "$25 and Under" review shouts that the place "?Lets Classics Be Classic."

Here's what can't be seen from the Smith St. sidewalk: slowness, ineptitude, condescension, rudeness and inattention. Those are the top five problems we had with Pier 116's service. The kitchen also seems to be in a bit of a freefall, though a more controlled one. The place is on its way to resembling a ramshackle diner off Route 1 in Rhode Island way too much. Did ownership snag its Times review and go on vacation? If so, it should return and crack the whip, as much here is worth saving.

First, there's the fish and chips. It was Pier 116's catch-of-the-day special ($12) during the days (weeks?) leading up to Thanksgiving. The fish was hake?thick and solid like cod but not quite as oily. Golden coating had the classic British consistency?moist yet crisp?and the spicy zing of better New England batters. Pier 116's abundant servings of french fries include some soggy specimens, but the potato flavor is noticeably stronger than you get with extra-crunchy fries.

An ideal complement is a Hofbrau ($4), a dry German lager that Pier 116 serves in weighty glass steins. It's an easy-drinking beer with a rich aftertaste?rare proof of German refinement and an indication of how far American microbreweries have yet to go. Another special offering is Weihenstephan Hefeweiss 1040, a wheat beer that comes in a tall, narrow, more-than-a-pint glass ($5), and which will delight partisans of that autumnal, sour/tart wheat-beer flavor. Also on tap is the German pilsner, Jever ($4), which is the new Stella Artois now that Stella is the new Heineken.

Steamers ($9/$18) are pushed as a specialty of the house, but they're nothing special. One server took pains to explain to us what steamers are before specifying the putatively unique source for Pier 116's. The broth in the bucket is appropriately basic, and the clams aren't too chewy. As at just about any clam bar, some bellies are more flavorful than others. It's not as if someone's keeping duds from making it into the serving pail.

The heart of Pier 116's menu is a trio of sandwiches: fried clam ($9), crispy shrimp roll ($11) and lobster roll ($15). The shrimp one is misleadingly named?"crispy" had me hoping for the sizzling pan preparation that miraculously renders shrimp shells edible (you can get that over on 5th Ave., at Blue Ribbon). Actually, the shrimp in Pier 116's shrimp sandwich are breaded and fried. And they're not done in the way of the fish and chips. This was pretty much Red Lobster popcorn shrimp on a hot dog bun.

A side of "Coney Island Wide Cut" fried calamari ($8) was also greasy, rubbery and bland. Our token non-seafood entree, Southern fried chicken ($12), demonstrated, yet again, a lackadaisical attitude toward deep batter frying. It's not the most delicate of culinary processes, sure, but that doesn't mean there isn't a right way and a wrong way to do it. The most important factor is to give half a shit.

Speaking of which, though we never had good service at Pier 116 (except at the bar), I have to single out one waitress who was crouched in a catcher's stance talking to an English diner about Europe's feelings toward Bush when we came in and sat down. Ten minutes later, she was still playing the pipes of peace with this twit, for which she'd have been completely forgiven if, when she finally took our drink order, she had hustled to fill it.

Pier 116 serves oysters on the halfshell, though the selection is narrow and the quality well below spectacular. The best we had was Bras D'Ors, from Nova Scotia, salty and overflowing with liquor, for $8.50 a half-dozen.

Not bad either was the lobster roll ($15). It's meaty and chopped fine, dressed with a kiss of lemon and little if any mayo. Like all the sandwiches, it comes with subtle, Old-Bay-seasoned potato chips. The serving of lobster that anchors the clambake royale ($18) is also quite satisfactory. That plate also comes with clams, calamari and sausage that bullies sides of rice and collard greens. The clam chowder, too ($3/$5), suffers from an overdose of cheap, smoky pork?there must have been a whole side of bacon in there.

Missing from Pier 116's menu is fresh fish. The kitchen must not have a grill. Their only finfish preparation is flounder stuffed with crab and rock shrimp spinach ($15), and it wasn't available the night we wanted to try it.

Desserts include a root beer float, homemade fudge and pie of the day. The one original offering was a hit at my table: the Pop-Tart ice cream sandwich ($5). Made of supermarket-grade, Hulk-green mint ice cream squashed between two chocolate-frosted slabs of Kellogg's best, it smacked of demented genius. Would probably have tasted even better if the toaster pastries were toasty warm, though.