Picks
WEDNESDAY July 7
A Conversation with Ron Burgundy
The last time Will Farrell starred in a movie, it was called Elf. To mark its release, New York City was held hostage by the movie's promotional machine. They called it "Elf Day." Farrell's new movie is called Anchorman, and just when we thought the promotional malarkey couldn't get any worse, Farrell turns around?and totally redeems himself. Following the new flick's screening, the funnyman sits down for a Q&A in character. Expect deft comic improv, followed by torrents of audience amazement and laughter. Museum of Television & Radio, 25 W. 52nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-621-6800, 8, sold out.
"Big A" Fair
How do incorrigible horseplayers and hopelessly addicted gamblers with families to support put on the appearance of being good parents? By bringing their kids to the Aqueduct Racetrack's "Big A" Fair, that's how! Out back, there's plenty of wholesome good fun-including games, rides, circus acts and dancing poodles-to keep the little tykes occupied and out from underfoot while you're up in the bleachers, having just bet the mortgage on that 8-1 shot in the fifth. Aqueduct Racetrack, S. Ozone Park (Rockaway Blvd.), Queens, 516-775-2403, 5, $6.
Thursday July 8
Free Hairwash
Highfalutin' hairdresser Jason Hayes arrives street-level in Duffy Square with free scalp analyses and styling consultations for an over-the-counter Duane Reade-style shampoo promotional. Hayes' clientele includes Dylan McDermott, Marilyn Manson, Katie Couric, Marcia Gay Harding and, after this event, the homeless guy on 42nd St. Free shampoos will also be available, but it's doubtful Hayes will get his hands wet for that. Duffy Square, Times Square (42nd St. & B'way), 888-Broadway, 10, free.
Crotona Park Jams
Those throwing 2004's Crotona Park Jams in the boogie down are willing to offer a chunk of the past for free, what with a month of Thursdays geared toward some of rap's still-sound innovators from the neighborhood and beyond. Legends including MC Ali Shaheed Muhammad of A Tribe Called Quest, DJ Red Alert and Lord Finesse of Diggin' in the Crates fame are still doing new stuff in the now, turning it up and churning it out in the daily mix of things. And some of the legends-emcee/DJ Luvbug Starski, Cold Crush Brothers' Charlie Chase & Captain Grandmaster Caz (G.O.A.T.), the Soul Sonic Force's Jazzy Jay, original pickled scratcher Grand Wizzard Theodore, UTFO DJ Mix Master Ice and spinners like Cash Money and Stevie Dee-are just improving upon what it is they started. This party stays live every Thursday this month. Crotona Park by Indian Lake, Charlotte St. (Crotona Park East), 718-378-2061, 6, free.
The Stills
Meet yet another band with a name ending in "ill." Yet this Montreal quartet definitely differs from the Kills, Pills and Thrills. Are we forgetting anyone? (No, PIL doesn't count.) Their music proves classic indie if such a genre exists. Most songs from their latest release, Logic Will Break Your Heart, are both addictive and poignant. If the vibe's right, musically beautiful moments set in Battery Park should make the downtown subway trip well worth it. At Castle Clinton, Battery Park, South End Ave. (W. Thames St.), 212-835-2789, 7, free.
Friday July 9
hackers on planet earth
More than just a gathering of grown-up Galaga junkies, the three-day Hackers on Planet Earth conference is the year's most important gathering of those on the forefront of the infowars. Sponsored by the hardcore phreaks of 2600, H.O.P.E.'s pedigree can be traced all the way back to the first issue of Youth International Party Line from 1971 (as founded by Abbie Hoffman and Al Bell), wherein credit card numbers were deconstructed and instructions were given for hooking up additional phones in your house-secret information at the time. Keynote speakers are the notorious Kevin Mitnick on Friday, Apple founder Steve Wozniak on Saturday and-big surprise!-Jello Biafra on Sunday. Additionally, some 70 panels will cover encryption, fingerprint detection, hardware bus security, firewall integrity and everything else a good hacker needs to know to fight the good fight. Hotel Pennsylvania, 401 7th Ave. (33rd St.), 10 a.m., $50.
Miho Hatori
If Miho Hatori's band Cibo Matto were a question on Family Feud, the survey would say, "cute, Japanese, catchy, Sean Lennon and surprisingly funky." Like Hello Kitty gear, Miho is an ubiquitous indie rock accessory, having worked with the Beastie Boys, Dan the Automator and others. She'll be previewing material from her upcoming solo album, which is set to hit stores later this month and promises more of her strange precociousness. Ursa Minor headlines. Tonic, 107 Norfolk St. (betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts.), 212-358-7501, 8, $10.
Saturday July 10
Pokemon Event
For anyone over the age of 11, this will be the pop-culture version of self-flagellation. What are these strange yellow Japanese things? Why so many high-pitched sounds? The place will, as a matter of course, be filled with children at their worst, all sugared up and single-mindedly obsessed. How much can you take? Show up and see. Pokemon Center, 10 Rockefeller Pl., 48th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-307-0900, 12, free.
Biz Markie
After beatboxing and clowning for something like 20 years, is Biz Markie still the best person for this type of employment? There has yet to be anyone who can beat him. With his rare combination of deft rhyming skills and goofy humor, Biz Markie can please any crowd, from deep hiphop fans to Benny and the Jets-loving retrotards. Live, the man is a charmingly loose cannon. Expect deep cuts and strange covers, scattershot human beatboxing and sloppy showstopping entertainment. He says he's just a friend, but he's much more. Southpaw, 125 5th Ave. (betw. St. John's & Sterling Pls.), Park Slope, 718-230-0236, 8, $21, $19 adv.
Sunday July 11
Night of the Hunter
When the preacher says, "Let me tell you the story of love and hate," eyes glancing up from impossibly low lids, it's hard to fight off the chills. Robert Mitchum's greatest performance is back on the big screen thanks to the largesse of Steve Buscemi. He and his wife Jo Andres are showing their favorite movies at BAM Rose Cinema, and this choice alone proves that they have good taste. It's a new stereo print of the 1955 classic, and the strange shapes and shadows on the screen will make you wonder why Charles Laughton never directed another movie. 30 Lafayette Ave. (Ashland Pl.), Ft. Greene, 718-636-4100, call for times, $10, $7 st.
The Musical Box
Most people are shocked to discover that Peter Gabriel was the lead singer of Genesis (when little Phil Collins was merely their hyperactive drummer), and that the band was a colorful and creative art-rock band before they became citizens of the land of confusion. The pre-"Sledgehammer" Gabriel had possibly the strangest lead-singer act in rock history, dressing up as everything from a giant hogweed to an angular alien and singing lyrics from the point of view of a lawnmower. The only chance you'll ever get to see such spectacles is by catching one of the few Genesis tribute bands such as the Musical Box, who are doing two shows in town before taking all of 2005 off. If you're tired of musicians in t-shirts and jeans, then see this visually faithful replica. Tribeca Performing Arts Center, 199 Chambers St. (betw. W. Side Hwy. & Greenwich Ave.), 212-220-1460, 7:30, $42.50-$47.50.
a matter of honor: the hamilton-burr duel
If anyone has been jealous of the South and their perennial Civil War reenactments, here's a little something for us Yankees: Aaron Burr v. Alexander Hamilton. Flashback to 1804 and relive the moment Vice President Burr popped off Treasury Secretary Hamilton, then hear a description of events leading up to the climactic gunshot. Maybe soccer moms wouldn't be so upset about gun control if Cheney and O'Neill got into a similar scuffle. (For background, see Gore Vidal's Burr.) Morris-Jumel Mansion, 65 Jumel Terrace (betw. 160th & 162nd Sts.), 212-923-8008, 2, $3, $2 st.
Monday July 12
X-Ecutioners, Northern State
Make up a pros and cons list of what's good and bad about hiphop. Everything in the pro column will be at S.O.B.'s tonight, while most of the bad will be absent. Shit, it's almost genteel: Turntable-ist trio X-Exectioners bring the big beats and lightning scratches and Northern State bring, well, a bunch of white girls. The fem-Cs are dropping a new album in August and are sure to preview some cuts. Hiphop hasn't been this feel-good while feeling this good since, well, we gotta go back to maybe the first De La Soul record. With Wild Bunch. 204 Varick St. (Houston St.), 212-243-4940, 9, $15, $13.50 adv.
Tuesday July 13
Becoming an Entrepreneur
Would you like to be financially independent? Would you like to own your own business? How about wealth beyond your wildest dreams? Well, now you can! Just come to Makor tonight, where the improbably named Sharon Good leads the talk. She's the co-owner of Excalibur Publishing, a book house whose titles include Dreamboats: Hollywood Hunks of the 50s and A Singer's Manual of Spanish Lyric Diction. But you're asking, "What if I don't want to publish books about Spanish lyric diction? What kind of business could I have?" Well, Sharon will help you open a business that is not only viable in the marketplace of today, but is tailored to your interests. Like opening a scented candle shop in Soho or starting a meth lab in your basement. 35 W. 67th St. (betw. Columbus Ave. & Central Park W.), 212-601-1000, 7, $30.